She knew that she had put it off long enough. While speaking with Gentle Night had been a nice distraction, Amalia knew that she couldn't avoid her mother forever. What a terrible daughter she had been, neglecting to even go and make sure that everything was okay. It was fear that held her at bay, pulling her back. She didn't want to see just how much her pale mother had changed. While Epiphron was only two years older than her, it was two more years above her ripe age of six. She knew that most healthy wolves lived until ten, she had met some at the age of eleven and even twelve. But putting an actual amount of time on how much longer her mom would be here killed her. Ama had spent so much time away from her family, and while she didn't regret meeting Athena, she did hate that she missed out on so much time with them. With Arian, before her life was taken before her time. Even with Cassius and Quintus before they disappeared. Now it was just her and Leo, she hadn't seen hide nor hair of Isolde or Caeto. They were pretty much it, and that thought alone slowed her steps. Brushing up gently against one of the mangrove trees, she looked out at the water -- nearly dried up from the rain free summer -- and a heavy sigh left her lips. She knew that she was trying postpone this meeting, but the red headed woman knew that she was being silly. It wasn't like Pip had two paws in the grave, not just yet.

Mortality was something that healers knew a lot about, and worked their hardest to prevent. But it was ultimately something that no herb could stop; time. No matter how hard she looked for a rare plant or tried to mix a few different things, she couldn't stop the years from passing. But to face Pip now was something else, she felt like it was an admonition of guilt. It had been so long since she had even come to her den door, like she was now doing. Rising off the bark of the tree, she padded carefully over to where her mother made her den. She didn't know if she was even in there, but sat near the entrance anyways. "Mom?" she asked carefully, unable to hide the emotional crack in her voice. She couldn't stop the rise of terror that sought to drag her down, thoughts of time and death. There was not enough time on this world, not in the least. She was just realizing that now, or at least allowing herself to think on it. Swallowing hard, her dark blue eyes closed as she waited, trying to calm her racing heart.

"Speech"

Her days were.. perhaps not entirely coming to an end, but she certainly wasn't getting any younger. The seasons seemed to go by more slowly now, somehow, though at the same time she marveled at how quickly these last few years had gone by. Winter was less pleasant than the other seasons, but she was grateful that Leo had chosen to remain in the eastern lands. It was comfortable here, most of the time, especially in comparison to how things could be. She'd been to far more inhospitable lands, that was for sure. She shivered as she felt a brief hint of wind whistle through the entrance to her den, a small and comfortable burrow that had previously been dug out under the roots of a tree, in a drier part of the land. The sound brought with it something more familiar - Amalia's voice. Rousing from her half-asleep state, she lifted her head, a smile touching her lips."Amalia," Epiphron replied gently, noticing the slight discomfort in her daughter's voice. What did she need, she wondered? Hopefully all was well. Stretching her forelimbs in front of her, she eventually pulled herself upright onto stiff limbs and made her way toward the world outside. Seeing her daughter made her face brighten considerably. God, was she proud of her - and of Leo too. She hadn't seen her other children for far too long, but she could only hope they had found somewhere that made them happy, as the others had. "How are you doing today, daughter?"

The sight of her mother washed away all of her anxiety, a smile spreading across her maw. She rushed forward to run her nose across her cheek. "Oh Mom, I'm so sorry that I haven't come to visit sooner... I feel terrible," she whispered as she pulled back, gazing at her eyes that matched her own. She really did feel guilty about the way she moved about, it wasn't hard to see that her joints were stiff. "I should have brought you some herbs, I will make sure to stock up before the winter comes," the tiny woman added, taking a seat before her beautiful dame. She certainly had won the gene pool, Epiphron didn't look a day over five with her shining coat and glimmering eyes. Her one colored ear stood straight, the white one tattered at the tip. Amalia's stump of a tail wagged behind her, a soft hum vibrating in her throat as she just admired the woman before her. "You know, you are quite beautiful. I'm surprised someone didn't try to snatch you up!" she said with a laugh, her whole face showing the sheer joy she felt being around Pip.

The retired alphess asked how she was doing, and the small woman shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. "Busy trying to keep my den stocked. With the two dry seasons together I haven't been able to gather as much as I hoped, but I'm glad I took that trip to the jungle to grab some plants there. Otherwise I was afraid we would come up dry this winter. And how about you Mother? Retirement treating you well?" All her old fears towards this conversation rushed away, and she knew that she was being silly to think that Pip would be upset at her for the lack of visits. It did little to squelch the guilt, but it was something. She adored this woman with all her heart, and was glad that they had been able to spend so much time together now. Amalia couldn't even count how grateful she was for her allowing Athena to join, even though there had been a feud between their families. Instead she had welcomed her and the boys in, most of which were still around today. And now they had their wonderful girls... honestly she was so blessed to have all these wolves around her to dote on. When it all came down to it, it was really Epiphron that had made this all happen.

"Speech"

Any anxiety that Amalia faced upon seeing her mother went entirely unnoticed to Epiphron. Seeing her daughter made her heart feel lighter, and made her feel infinitely younger again. A grin touched her lips and seemed like it might never fade. She shook her head dismissively at the woman's apology, a soft laugh falling from her throat.  "Nothing to be sorry for," she said quickly, flicking her torn ear idly.  "Nothing at all. I know you have plenty to keep you busy." Amalia had always been.. more selfless than she ever had. She spent more time caring for others; collecting herbs for the pack and doing her own studies. Things that had never interested Epiphron. How different her life had been for her. She thought on it briefly, her smile never wavering. She said she ought to have brought her herbs, but would before winter. Gently she shrugged, not that dismissively.. but it was okay if she didn't too.  "Alright," she said simply, her tail batting slightly against her lower hind legs. The expression only brightened at her daughter's sweet words.  "I could say the same for you, Amalia. Athena is one lucky woman," Epiphron commented with a playful laugh.   "Truthfully, it's been too long since I've even considered such things. I think the last thing you have to worry about is me running off with anyone." Did she miss companionship? How could she not? She didn't miss the possibility of heartache, and of betrayal, but she did feel lonely at times. It was something she tried not to dwell too much on, especially as she got older. She confirmed what Epiphron had suspected - she'd been keeping herself busy. She seemed happy, even if not overly so - though she knew life had its ups and downs. Her sons were not all here, and though it was part of life.. it still could take a toll on a mother, even in Epiphron's age.  "I've been doing well too," she explained, moving a bit further from her den to rest on her haunches near Amalia.  "Although much less busy than you. I'm grateful to have such a nice home, though." Leo had done a lot here - she was proud of him, and of what he'd made here. She couldn't imagine what things might be like if she had to worry about where she slept at night, and how she might find prey. This life was much easier, and she really was thankful for it.

It seemed like her mother wasn't bothered at all by her not visiting, allowing the russet faced woman to let out a big sigh. She really had thought that she would bare a touch of... what? Resentment? No, perhaps disappointment. She had felt like that with her own kids when they didn't check in from time to time, but she was grasping at them so tightly. Everyone seemed to come and go from her life so freely that she clung to those who remained. Eying Epiphron, she wondered if she ever had feelings like that, if she thought about all the what ifs. Her own siblings were scattered, from what she knew it was only her and Leo that remained - at least actively - in their families. Scattering her thoughts, she refocused on the current conversation once again. A small smile touched her lips at the mention of being busy, nodding slightly. She had always been one to keep herself occupied with a lot of things, most often with more than she could handle. It was easy to bury herself in work than to deal with... well everything. Her daughters growing up, her sons missing, her growing old. Leaning forward, she let out another puff of air as she attempted to rest her forehead on her mothers shoulder. "What did you do to get through us leaving as children? With the boys coming and going... I just don't know what to think," Amalia whispered, hiding her blue eyes from Pip's gaze.

She pulled back when their conversation took a better turn, a smile touching her lips as she said that Athena was lucky. "I think it's I who am the lucky one. She's so wonderful with the kids and she loves to teach them about fighting. They even make me do it!" she said with a laugh. Honestly she was horrid at fighting, she would stick to herbs. There was no doubt that she would leap into a fight if it was to protect her family, but other than that she didn't see a need for her to know it. She gazed at the pale woman more stoically when she said she had been alone for so long, that she hardly thought about it. "Do you get lonely?" her voice was softer, her blue eyes finding her mothers similarly coloured ones. With her and Leo hardly stopping by, did she feel all alone? Her lips twitched at the thought of Pip running off like a teenager in love though, the thought making her snort softly. She could see that image in her head, casting away the somber mood that she seemingly kept switching to.

The tiny healer nodded her head at her mothers words about their home, her younger brother had done such a fine job in keeping Fiori in top shape. It felt like their boarders were popping at the seams these days! So many children for her to teach and take exploring. "I'm glad to hear that! These last few seasons have been rather harsh, I am so thankful that there are other healers to help me keep our wares stocked up," Honestly without that she wasn't sure she would have enough to last until spring, since the rains came so late this year.

"Speech"

Epiphron's hopes for her children had been much different, once. She'd envisioned nothing but royalty for them - kingdoms ruled by the Adravendi blood, strong and powerful empires that were known all across the land. Such wishes were history now, though. So much had changed since then. Now, all she hoped for was the health and happiness of her children, whatever that might entail. It'd taken her some time, for example, to get used to Amalia being with Athena. An Armada, and a woman. Even though it wasn't the life she'd pictured for her, she wanted now whatever made her daughter happy. She hoped she truly was happy, and she thought of this as Amalia spoke to her, a touch of relief audible in her voice. What had she done to deal with her wanderer children? A soft smiled settled on her lips at the thought.  "I couldn't have gotten through it without your father," Epiphron admitted wistfully. They had never expected to be parents, not so early in their lives at least, but their roles as mother and father had consumed them. "Without you all, though, I hate to admit.. but I felt a bit empty,"  she explained carefully, offering a shrug. She didn't want to make Amalia feel guilty for leaving so long ago, but it was true.  "I'd originally thought I'd always want to rule a pack, but having you all made me realized I enjoyed being a mother more. I couldn't go on ruling once all your youngest siblings started to leave. I was a wreck." That had been the end of her rule, and the beginning of the end of her relationship with Amalia's father too. She'd once been worried that motherhood would've been a burden to her, but life had been infinitely more difficult when she'd had no children to care for. She could certainly emphasize with what Amalia was feeling, even if her situation was a bit different. Talk of Athena made her smile wider - she wouldn't have dreamed of such a thing, years ago. An Armada, of all wolves, being part of her own family. It was still a sore spot, though seeing her no longer made her feel a pang of resentment, or a rush of pain. She was as much part of her family as anyone else had been, even though she wasn't particularly close to Amalia's mate. She was thrilled to know her daughter had found someone that made her happy, and hoped that their love would last for many years to come.  "Do I get lonely?" she'd echo back thoughtfully, musing over the question aloud.  "I do, sometimes." Many of her thoughts she'd never been able to admit aloud. For a long time, she'd found herself feeling hateful toward Maverick - what would life have been without him? Had she been foolish to invest so many years of her life in him, and in their family? She never regretted their children, not once, but what if things had been different? A thoughtful look crossed her features as she looked away, pondering.  "Knowing some of my children are here, and that I have grandchildren now.." A brighter look came to her, a smile returning with ease.  "That certainty helps." She'd even reunited with her cousin, Leon, after so many years. Hearing that Amalia was still so invested in her herbs and keeping things stocked made her smile brighten. At least, as she said, there were other healers now to help.  "Just don't overwork yourself," she'd say pointedly, shaking her head.  "Make time for yourself, and for you and Athena, whenever you can."