She paced the edges of the border, a glance cast towards the lands beyond every so often. Her tail flicked occasionally, though not from irritation but anxiety and worry. Dragon had been sent out on a mission for her, and for weeks she'd been waiting patiently. She knew it was going to take some time, but he would be back any day now, right? He had left late summer, but now that the season had changed, so did her growing anxious mind. She hoped he was alright, that he wasn't hurt. Thinking now, she probably should have sent someone to go with him...but who? Kharnage had left, and Gryphon seemed busy doing his own things that she didn't want to bother him too much with this task. And Lykos well...there was no way she was going to ask him. Not now. She paused her pacing for a a minute, watching for signs of movement, something, anything...but nothing would show. Breathing out, she continued her pacing again. The ground beneath her feet wearing away with each step.

The air around the pack seemed to reek of a new tension as autumn began to close its grip on the north. Gryphon had begun to realize uneasily that his family's scents were dwindling in pack lands. He couldn't remember the last time he'd scented Kharnage, let alone seen him, and Lykos hadn't once tried to seek out his company since the fight training they'd both attended. Even Dragon had seemed to disappear lately. If it had been just Kharnage he might not have worried, since his brother had been distinctly antisocial for about as long as they'd been in Ivalice. But he'd thought that he and Lykos were on pretty good terms, at least, and he was wary of the silence from that quarter. And on top of that, Gryphon had come across the old scents of his mother and an intruder late last season, and blood, but the trespasser had been sent back across the border so he'd thought little of it. He'd worried about his mother, of course, since there seemed to be a lot more of her blood than he was comfortable with seeing splashed across the pine litter of their border, but she'd seemed to get back to doing her usual thing before he'd had time to get really worried.

It didn't take a genius to see that there was more to this family rift than his mother's poor choice in mates. He'd been distracted by training with Esarosa until she'd given birth to her litter, hunting on his own and patrolling the borders to make up for the large amount of pups the pack had acquired - it boggled the mind how quickly the pack had filled up just with pups - but he wasn't an idiot. He knew there was something unpleasant lurking in this apparent calm. He'd been wary of addressing it though, knowing that as a yearling no one in Ivalice saw him as anything more than a rather large child. But now... with autumn storms racking the northern continent, he had reached the age of his majority. He was an adult in the eyes of the world. Would his mother see it that way? He'd not know unless he took the first step.

First, perhaps to procrastinate, he'd ambushed a snowshoe hare when the big lagomorph was dashing through one of the hare-traces that crisscrossed the pines, then with the hare dangling from his jaws he'd set out to find the freshest trail of his mother. It led him to the sight of his mother pacing back and forth along the border in obvious agitation. Gryphon paused a moment to watch her before stepping out of the pines to offer her the prey he laid on the ground between them. "Mom, what's wrong?" he asked immediately as the hare left his mouth. His earthy-brown face wrinkled in concern for her, black ears flicking down. His own reasons for seeking her out weren't forgotten, merely set aside in light of what was clearly a more urgent worry on his mother's part. "Are you ok?"

A breath of air audibly left her as she frowned, her pacing slowly ceasing but not quite at a complete stop. She knew she had other things to tend to, but there were plenty of other members to patrol besides her. So she wouldn't bother with that for right now. Amber gaze glanced up to find Tanaraq circling lazily above, though no indication that Dragon was coming yet. Flicking her tail, she debated on what to do. She couldn't stand and pace here all day, it would do nothing to settle her anxiety or impatience and worry.

Luckily for her, a distraction would come to her rescue. A welcome one at that. Ears flicked back at the sound of Gryphon's voice as she turned around to face him. His presence was a welcome sight, one she hadn't seen too often, and then a wave of regret hit her like a brick wall. Where was her mind? She felt like she was so caught up in so many different things, she was realizing that she was unintentionally neglecting her children...and the pack as a whole. It was frustrating, and she had to make changes in an effort to better herself, and the pack as a whole. His questions did not go unheard, and she stopped her pacing when she realized that she must look distressed.

"I'm fine, nothing to worry about." She was fine for now, and hopefully it would remain that way. Her gaze looked him over carefully, wondering about how he'd been and what he was up to. She had been wanting to promote him up from novice, it was a promotion long overdue. In fact, several members were overdue for promotion, but perhaps she'd been so caught up in her own crap that she hadn't realized that time flew by so quickly. "Gryphon, I want to apologize...I know I haven't exactly been the best mother lately...I've been...neglectful of a lot of things, and I want to let you know that I love you. I'm proud of you son. You've grown into a fine young man.." She approached him, moving to nuzzle his cheek for a moment as she looked at him. If she embarrassed him then so be it. It was a mothers job to do that anyway.

Gryphon's face relaxed when his words, or his presence, seemed to draw his mother's attention from her anxiety. Her words didn't do much to soothe his worries, though he listened without interrupting until she moved to nuzzle his cheek. If he could have blushed he would have, but even through his embarrassment he felt his chest swell with pride. He wasn't immune to such words, no more than any child was to hear their parent express pride in them. He returned her caress, seeking to drape his chin over her neck and pull her close in a gentle hug. Pulling back away again, his concern was still evident in his face and his eyes as he studied her closely. "Eat," he told her firmly, then smiled. "I love you too, Mom. And you aren't being neglectful, and you aren't a bad mother. Why would you even think that? Lykos, Kharnage, Dragon and I, we are adults, and you can't very well spend all your time running after us and wiping up our messes now, can you? It is as much our responsibility to help you, not just as your sons but because we chose to join Ivalice." He eyed her with faint disquiet. "What brought all this on, then?"

She was relieved that he didn't pull away when she had approached him. Though she was convinced that they all hated her, this moment served to remind her that perhaps she was and had been over thinking everything. That she had been led to believe it all. She wanted to cry when he embraced her, but she refrained and instead leaned into him for a moment before he pulled away. She did not miss the concern on his face, and she realized that she must look like a mess in the state she'd been in for most of the season. At his prompting her to eat, she was about to protest until her grumbling and aching stomach stopped her. She'd been so consumed with everything that she realized she probably hadn't eaten in a while...so instead, she nodded and settled down. And when she started to bite into the prey, the taste reminded her how hungry she really was and she suddenly felt ravenous.

She tried not to wolf it down too quickly though. Ears listened as he spoke, the woman stopping when he asked why she thought it. Honestly, she felt like she had been neglectful and like she wasn't there like she should be. She would rise to a sitting position, looking down at the partially eaten food as she sighed. What brought it on? She wasn't sure how to answer that. Would he see her as weak if she told him that part of it was due to someone else's influence? That she had been so overwhelmed with thoughts since their father left? That she was doubting her abilities to raise them and lead a pack because someone made her believe that she was weak? That a lot of what his brother had told her, made her feel inferior? There was so much...

"I'm...sorry...you all have grown up so fast...I've always felt that I haven't been doing a good enough job trying to raise you on my own..." She glanced at him, brows furrowing slightly. "I often feel like I have been inadequate as a mother. Which in turn is probably why I try to keep us together...I know you're all of age to fend for yourselves, but even so...as a mother, I'm always going to worry." Amber gaze turned up to study him. Ears twitching as she looked him over. "You look so much like your father...but in every way, you're better...I just wish Lykos hadn't taken after him..." There was so much to tell. And she knew that one question seemed to be at the front of everyone's mind. What happened the day mercy was found trespassing. So when his last question came, she breathed in deeply before exhaling. "A lot has happened, Gryphon. I'm...not even sure where to begin...though like Dragon, I'm sure you're wondering about the scar?" The fur hadn't completely grown over yet. And she wasn't sure if it would completely grow over, so until then it remained prominent. Her left side forever marked. Serving as a reminder about the one who chose to step between her, and her family. Deliberately trying to rip it apart.

She obediently tore into the hare under his watchful gaze, and Gryphon sat beside her, pleased. His questions seemed to have touched a chord though, as Avalon left the meal unfinished to consider his words and reply. Gryphon frowned disapprovingly at the uneaten portion, but said nothing as he listened.

He did listen carefully, if somewhat confusedly, to her broken and rambling speech pattern. One thing caught his attention though. "What do you mean?" he asked cautiously. "About Lykos. What happened?" Had his littermate disappeared, like their father had? Not knowing the whole story as his mother saw it, Gryphon could not immediately grasp the meaning of her cryptic statement, but he settled himself at her side and offered his shoulder's support, willing to hear her out. "I had wondered about the scar - I assumed it had something to do with the trespasser I scented. Maybe you should start at the beginning?" he suggested gently.

Oh, what would she do without the support of her sons? Dragon and Gryphon seemed pretty level headed. Kharnage she knew, had his issues but when it came down to it, she didn't exactly blame him. They didn't grow up with a father figure, and they didn't see Vereux as one before he passed. But she had come to accept that. Vereux hadn't exactly shown them that he could really do it. He just...expected them to accept him. Gryphon questioned her, and she went into thinking about what to say. That is, until he suggested she start from the beginning.

Which to her, was a relief. She had already kind of muddled a bit of it at first, but when he offered his shoulder, she would gratefully lean into his warmth and thus try to calm herself. She nodded, taking a moment to collect her thoughts as she recalled the events of that day. "Someone from our former pack decided to stop by for a...visit. Mercy, a royal pain and one of the most disrespectful wolves I've ever met. I caught her scent within our lands, as I'm sure others did too after the whole ordeal. I tracked her down, found her hiding just outside our borders, and questioned her. Of course it was fruitless. She decided to insult me, the pack, and spill some...information. I guess Lykos decided to confide inside information to her about Vereux." She sighed, looking up at the sky. "I understand you guys weren't too fond of him, but that isn't why I was upset at the time. It was simply the fact that Lykos decided to go behind my back and started giving out information and speaking ill of a pack mate. Things that outsiders have no business knowing." True enough, loners and other outsiders had no business knowing about the packs affairs.

"Eventually things got heated, Mercy kept pushing it, and I opted to try and force claim her. She deliberately kept at it, and I figured it was the right thing to do. Any alpha in their right mind would do the same. I didn't win, but that's not something I cared about. I simply wanted to let her know that she wouldn't get away with her actions..." Even so, she would fight Mercy again if she saw her. The woman seemed to keep sticking her nose in places it didn't belong. "She never did say why she decided to show up, but I didn't stick around to ask after that. I sought out your brother to question him, and he didn't deny his betrayal to the pack. He said he would much rather follow someone like Mercy, among other things. He decided too, that he wanted to challenge me to leave after I issued punishment. But changed his mind at the last second."

Whether or not she had been injured already, and no matter how much pain she had been going through at that time, she would have still fought him despite the mother vs alpha conflict in her head. "I suspect he's hiding away somewhere in the territory and avoiding everyone. I told him he was not allowed to leave the lands without permission and an escort." She cast a wary sidelong glance at Gryphon, wondering what he thought of it all. "I did say that his punishment would be temporary. But he is no longer the heir, and won't be even after all of this. I feel he has broken my trust...the same thing your guys' father did when he abandoned us the day you were born." Glancing at her paws, she shuffled one slowly against the snow. "I had to do things this way for his own good, even as a mother...I had to act as an alpha. I hope you understand, I still love you all."