"What will the children call me?" "I think you'll be as much of a mother to them as I will be... I think they should call you mom... or maybe momma Amalia...  Congratulations, beautiful, you're going to be a mother." "A mother..." Her paws were sore and her muscles were tired as she crossed over the Fiori border. It was late at night, but she hadn't wanted to stop anywhere for the night on the way back. Her own thoughts drove her forward, her memories haunting her in a way that she knew would just keep her awake if she tried to sleep. If she was going to be awake she might as well make it home so she could sleep with Amalia at her side. "Ready?" "Both of you looked like flowers that just bloomed to see the sun... The two of you look beautiful." "Thank you. For this, for everything... I'm ready. We're ready." A heavy sigh left her lips as she slowly made her way through the mangroves, stepping over roots and around puddles. Nothing about this trip went as she had expected. Although, in that same light, she hadn't really known what to expect. A new wife. Children. A completely different life. She was happy that she got to reconnect with her brother and that he was doing so, so well, but it didn't do anything for her self doubt. "What's wrong my love?" "...Roman was killed. Two bears attacked their den and she died protecting her children... He's decided to disband the pack..." She slowed to a stop when her and Amalia's den came into view. Her wife. She couldn't believe this was the same woman that she had pulled out of the snow half frozen and starved years ago. No, this wasn't the same woman. She wasn't the same woman she had been then either. They've both changed so much over the years. She had to wonder though, had they really changed or had they just grown out of their childish, naive ways? "I know I raised an amazing woman... I can only hope that I can say the same for your father." "Mother!" She pushed herself forward toward their den, slipping inside tiredly. Normally she wouldn't dare wake up Amalia if she had already gone to sleep, but in the state she was in she couldn't keep herself from it. She honestly didn't know whether Amalia was asleep or not. Either way, she went to her wife like a magnet drawn to metal. She settled onto her stomach and curled her larger form around Amalia's, burying her face into Amalia's scruff without a word. "Burn Baby Burn"

She had been asleep for quite some time now, crashing in the den early tonight. With a winter this mild, she wasn't taking it sitting down. Almost every day she had been zipping from place to place to collect as many of the herbs as she could. It may be okay now, but there was no telling when and if a true winter would appear. The herbs still flourished, so she made sure that her stock was almost flooded over. There had been a few nights when she had passed out in her small herb den, but she tried to make it to the one she shared with Athena every night. Amalia felt guilty, she had been spending so little time with her daughters or any other pack member, the task of being a healer was always forefront in her mind. She hadn't even really seen Athena, besides the nights they curled up together. Was this what her life was becoming? They had started to grow used to being apart, and she hated that. The tiny woman felt like she was being pulled in two different directions. Half of her wanted to keep working hard at being a healer, and the other wanted to be a true family oriented wolf. She let out a whine in her sleep, these very thoughts circling in her head. She was awoken by a face being pressed into her scruff, and she knew in an instant that it was Athena. The familiar scent of her partner circled around her, but there was another smell she knew that lingered on her coat. Amalia lifted her head slowly, blinking open her dark blue eyes to gaze at the larger wolf. "You saw Vereux," she whispered, her ears pulling to half mask. It wasn't a question, it wasn't hard to pick up his smell on her. Amalia wasn't mad, but her voice was conflicted. Athena looked tired, but that could have been from her journey. There was no way that she would be upset with her for seeing her brother, as well as the father of their boys. Vereux was always going to be a part of their life, he was family after all. The small woman was unsure about him, he had a habit of disappearing and leaving broken hearts behind. If she could, she would block them from feeling anything like that. But it wasn't her place. It hadn't been her place to ask him to stay away, after he sought out, even thought about joining, Fiori. She had spoken out of turn, but only had the ones she loved in mind. She waited for Athena to speak, almost holding her breath. By the way she looked, Amalia wasn't the only one with conflicting emotions. "Talk" "You" Think

Athena felt her wife stir moments after she has pressed herself against her. She felt a little bad for waking Amalia up, but in the state her emotions were in she couldn't help but try to be as close to her as she could. She lifted her gaze to meet Amalia’s as she turned her head to look at her. Her statement wasn't too much of a surprise. Her trip to see Vereux had been a sudden and probably ill planned decision. She couldn't deny that she had gone to see him, not that she would have tried to hide it anyway. “I did,” she replied softly, a sigh passing her lips. She shifted her weight a bit to be able to lift her head to meet Amalia’s gaze more easily, but she wouldn't move away from her side at all. “It went well,” she added, hesitating while she tried to collect her thoughts as she spoke. “I thought I would be more happy about that than I am.” Her brows pulled together as she spoke. “He's living in a new pack in the north now, in the Sparse Pines. It's led by his new mate, someone named Avalon. They're going to be married and she's pregnant.” The frown on her face deepened as she thought about the whole situation again. She couldn't help but feel like he was right back in the same position he had been in with herself three years or so ago and the dejavu of it all was a little unsettling. “I want to be happy for him, and in a way I am, but it's just so strange… It was one thing when I didn't know exactly what he was doing with his life, but to see him now doing what I had wanted him to be doing years ago with someone else… I almost feel betrayed in a strange way. Especially since he's decided to take her last name.” She sighed, forcing herself to focus back on Amalia’s face again. She knew Vereux wasn't Amalia’s favorite wolf in the world, but Amalia was the only one in this whole world that she knew she could talk about anything on her mind freely and not have to fear some kind of ridicule. Amalia had been there through everything. That's why she was here right now in Fiori pressed to Amalia’s side instead of somewhere in the north trying to keep her boys together on her own. “I did tell him that he could visit the boys if he wanted to since Tiburtius requested it… They're plenty old enough to make that decision on their own and I would rather Vereux make the trip here and prove he actually wants to see them than have them make that long trip for nothing.” She shrugged a little, trying to put a small smile on her lips. “I can't control who my brother is I guess and I can't stop him being the boys’ father… There's so many things I wish I could tell my younger self.” "Burn Baby Burn"

Ama looked up at her as she shifted, her features scrunching up slightly as Athena sighed. It was hard for her to put her thoughts into words, or to even grasp them within her mind. There were a lot of pent up feelings in her little body for that man, about everything he did. He had been good to Athena, until he left. But who was she to say anything? She had wandered off as well… So she bit her lip, not bothering to try and sort through everything. It would just take far too much time and energy. Right now Athena needed her above all else, she could go through her own personal matters later. So she mentally shook her head, placing all her attention to the silver female. Athena was always first, no matter what. She would give up anything for her, even her own life. Amalia had never thought that she could care for someone the amount that she cared for her. They had been through so much together, so many shared years. Kids, adopted by her. She missed their boys, but they were as much Vereux as well. He was their father and their uncle, and it was unfair of her to cut him from their lives. But the truth of the matter was… he never did anything. There was no way that he could stop him if he really wanted to come and see them, but he didn’t even bother. He just stayed away until they ran into each other by chance. The words of another wolf would never be enough to keep her from her children. Oh dear, she had started to think about it again. Her brow furrowed as she concentrated on the woman before her. She was thankful when Athena answered her question, giving her concrete words to focus on. Her mouth dropped open in surprise to hear that he had joined a pack up north, and that he had a new mate. Her ears pulled back as she searched her face carefully, trying to read her emotions. This was all messed up and twisted around! On one paw, Athena had every right to be upset, but there was also Amalia… they had been together while they still lived with Vereux. She was unsure of what to think herself, other than a flash of confusion crossing her face. "Another pack up north? Wasn’t he part of one before?" She asked, remembering something about another pack. Y something… But she was married and pregnant, now that was another load to take on all together. The tiny woman bit her lip for a moment, trying to think of all the right things to say. "At least you will be an aunt?" She offered, not sure if that would really help anything. When her frown grew deeper, Amalia nuzzled her head under her chin. She spoke on, saying that he was going to take her last name. Her head shot up, nearly hitting the underside of Athena’s jaw. Take her name? Drop the Armada name all together? The russet faced woman swallowed hard, her brows knitting together as she let out a soft whine. She didn’t know what to say, it was hard to really put herself in her mate's place. She could understand why she felt betrayed, a little bit. But that would mean that she had been harboring feelings for him this whole time. Didn’t it? Well… how couldn’t she? He was her brother after all, and he sired the boys. To simply stop loving him was not going to be easy. Chewing on her lower lip, Amalia kept her emotions in check. She knew that she shouldn’t feel hurt, but she did. She felt like she wasn’t enough for Athena, like she couldn’t give her all the things that Vereux had. No! No, no. This was all crazy talk. If something like this had happened between her and Leo, of course she wouldn’t stop loving him! That wouldn’t mean that Athena loved Amalia even less. No, she was just thrown off by all of this. Suddenly feeling like she was choking, she looked towards the entrance of the den and tried to take a deep breath. She was trying to hold everything back, but she couldn’t help the single tear that fell down her face. Ama knew that she was being crazy and overreacting to all of this. And on top of it, this wasn’t about her! This was about Athena. She needed to be strong and reassure her wife that she could come to her with everything. If she pushed her away, she wouldn’t come to her about these things. Turning back, she blinked up at Athena, her eyes misty. When she spoke about Vereux seeing the boys, she nodding in understanding. Of course, she couldn’t stand in the way of true family. They had every right to see their father, and they would have new half siblings to meet after all. When Athena tried to smile, she mirrored it with a small smile of her own. "There would be a lot of things I would want to tell my younger self as well, like coming clean to you about my feelings," she said softly, dropping the subject of Vereux for now. She wanted to try and focus on better, happier things. After she got her mind sorted on all of this, then she would say something. But right now she didn’t even know what she would say if she could turn her feelings into words. "Did you realize how obsessed I was with you, ever since you saved me? You were a goddess to me, my very own protector. I think I loved you from that very moment on, and being near you only allowed my affections to grow. And now look at us, we have our boys and our girls. Best of all, we have each other." This time she allowed herself to cry for real, nuzzling into the gray woman’s chest. "We can both be happy for Vereux because we have each other. He will always be your brother, and he will always be the boy’s father. There is nothing that either of us can do about that. They can come to see him how they will, I can't protect them anymore," She frowned, her head shaking back and forth. "It was never right for me to push him away anyways. There is nothing I can do to break that family tie. I just need to focus on our own, and not be so jealous." Her voice was soft, almost a squeak. Perhaps she did have a few things sorted out. Pulling back, she booped her nose lightly against Athena’s. "I love you, my goddess warrior." The tiny woman said with a smile. A real, true smile this time. "AMALIA SPEAKS" -- "ATHENA SPEAKS"

Athena pondered Amalia’s question for a moment when she asked about Vereux’s former pack and she’d slowly nod after a moment. “Yes… I think you’re right. It was Yifr wasn’t it?” Her voice sounded distracted even to her own ears. It was hard to focus on any one thing right now with her thoughts as scattered as they were. She gave a shallow chuckle at the consolation prize that Amalia offered of the fact that she was going to be an aunt. She supposed that was true. She was always happy to welcome more family, no matter how they came about. Athena listened to Amalia greatfuly as she began to speak. Simply not thinking about Vereux for a moment was such a relief. She did love her brother in his own way and she hadn’t lied when she told him that she wanted to make the sibling relationship they had now work, but so much had been thrown at her in such a short amount of time. The emotions that she saw dance across her wife’s face while she filled her in on everything as well reminded her that for much of the time that her and Vereux had been together Amalia had been there too, giving her that support and loving her through Vereux’s disappearance and the heartache that came afterward. Athena struggled so hard to cope with her own emotions at times that she forgot to take Amalia’s into consideration. She blinked when Amalia described her as her ‘goddess’ and ‘protector’ when she brought up how she had saved her when they first met. It had been easy to pick up on how Amalia felt back then, but she had never imagined that it had been that intense that quickly. A smile, a real smile, pulled onto her lips as Amalia nuzzled into her chest. She brought her head down to nuzzle into Amalia’s scruff, her eyes closing for a moment. “Looking back on it now, I had been just as obsessed with you from the start. I had tried to deny it so much because I thought I had to fit into this mold and expectations that my father made for me, but you had me as soon as I saw those blue eyes of yours.” She felt Amalia’s tears wetting the fur on her chest and she only wanted to hold her wife tighter. “You’re right, we do have each other. You’re all I’ve ever really needed.” She lifted her head again to look at Amalia’s face when she spoke about Vereux again, giving her own head a small shake in return. “No, Amalia, you were doing what you thought was best. I’ve told you again and again that you are as much a mother to those boys as I am. You were protecting them. I can’t fault you for that and Vereux doesn’t hold any ill will over it.” She returned Amalia’s smile as her nose gently bumped her own. She gave Ama’s nose a small lick in return, replying, “I love you too, my beautiful healer.” She could feel that lump forming in her throat again and tears coming to her eyes, but these were different tears than the ones she had been crying most of the day. “I never thought I would depend on someone like I depend on you. Back then when I was young and foolish and so full of shallow dreams… But you are what keeps me together and you are what makes me strong. The only reason I’m able to be your goddess warrior is because you make me that way.” She paused for a moment, giving Amalia’s muzzle a small lick. “I know I’m not the most sensitive of wolves and I don’t always know when to stop when I’m talking about something. Just… please remember that I love you more than anything. I never want you to feel like I don’t. I love you more than my own life, I love you more than this world, I love you more than any of my family that was or will come to be.” She focused on Amalia’s beautiful eyes, the same eyes that had caught her heart years ago as tears pooled in the corners of her ruby and emerald gaze. “You are so precious to me, my gorgeous girl. The only wolves I might love more than you are our children.” She chuckled then, giving Ama a little grin. “You have no reason to be jealous of anyone.” "Burn Baby Burn"

It wasn't hard for her to pull the distracted sound from her mates vocals, she wasn't focusing very hard on the topic before them. Honestly, she didn't blame her. That had been a load of information to get in one night, and she knew that Athena was struggling more than she was letting on. She always tried to put on such a brave front, but it wasn't hard to see right through her. She had known her for too long, and too intimately. Her laugh was not at it's full potential, and it made her ears pin to her skull. She didn't like it when she was like this, it wasn't the usual strong, confident woman that she was used to seeing. But that is what Ama was here for, and she just wasn't in it for the good times. There would always be sadder times, it was just what happened in life. That didn't mean that she had to like it though. But the more she talked, the more Athena rose out of her stupor. She spoke of their past, the memories swirling in her minds eye. Amalia couldn't believe that it had been that long already, that that many years had passed with the two of them together. What hadn't they been through together? The woman felt a small smile tugging at her lips, she didn't doubt that there wasn't a situation that they had been dropped in. Their whole relationship had been shrouded in heartbreak and comfort in turn, taking care of their boys and now their girls. Dealing with her pack, and then the disappearance of her family. The death of Roman. Honestly, there was nothing that life hadn't tossed at them, every odd situation that no one ever thought would happen. The small woman was surprised when Athena said that she had felt strongly for her in the beginning. She hadn't known at all, didn't think she could ever have gotten on the level with her that she did. Never once did she think that her perfect Athena would love her back. "You're all I've ever needed. You taught me so much, and walked with me through this crazy journey through life. I think we grew up with each other, both breaking away from the molds we thought we had to fill," Amalia's had simply been her own mindset though, there was never the pressure to succeed from her mother, Pip cared for her no matter what she did. "I love you Athena, I always have and always will. I wake up every morning with you by my side, and your smile to guide me through the worst of times. I don't have to dream, because all of my dreams have come true in you. You look at me like I am the only one around, and you make me feel so important and cared for," she whispered, the tears slipping down her face as a huge grin took over her lips. "You've shown me how to live." Athena only reaffirmed her when it came to what happened with Vereux, but she skipped over that. They had bigger things to think about now, like each other. He had moved on, and while she could understand why that was hard for her mate, it would all be okay. It was always okay with them, they had made it through a lot worse. She let out a small giggle as she licked her nose, but got concerned when she saw the tears welling up in her eyes. Her brows pulled together, but when the woman spoke she knew that it was happy tears that pooled down her face. She stretched up to lap up the salty droplets, listening to the words that filled her heart with so much love. Her head shook back an forth when she mentioned thinking she didn't love her, letting out a huff. "I could never deny your love, Athena. I feel it every day. I see it in the way you look at our children, the way that you look at me. Everything else melts away in your eyes, there is always just us. You put your heart and soul into my family's pack, you moved from your home in the north just so that I could be with my mother and siblings. You have given up so much for me, and I can never ever say that you don't care for me," Amalia said, leaning into her touch when she licked her muzzle. She smiled sweetly at her precious mate when she spoke of loving her most, besides their children. "You're right, I have everything I could ever need. You've seen me through everything and you put up with me coming in with muddy paws and stinking like herbs," she said with a giggle. "How do you put up with me?" Her tone was teasing, as she leaned forward to nibble at her cheek. "AMALIA SPEAKS" -- "ATHENA SPEAKS"