retro; back to autumn/ winter It was unbelievable, unfathomable, what she was planning on doing. Saying goodbye. She didn't know much of what to do anymore, only that Alacritis wasn't for her - not anymore. Not for the time being, at least. There were so many things she had done wrong... it was why she was here no, she couldn't let herself do another wrong thing - this time it would have been not saying goodbye. Again. Days, now, she had been in the rustling thicket, adjacent to her old home, looking for a familiar brown pelt: Motif. Her old friend, her only friend. Already, she felt the guilt from abandoning Abaven, both times. Already, she felt the guilt abandoning Arian, without a word. Nothing. She just took off, like she did to Abaven. No, she couldn't do another wrong thing. Plus... she didn't think she could leave. Not without saying goodbye to Motif. Tears, silent, dampened Mira's face. Why? It was too late now, but by all the gods, she missed her friend! She missed Bass. Harmony. She missed them all. She wanted to see them again, but she knew she'd never be allowed to do so. She would, at least, say goodbye to at least Motif. She couldn't much resist it anymore. It was dangerous, what she was going to do, but damnit... her head tipped back, and the song - the call - reached out, a brief howl, though it seemed to stretch on to the red wolf. It called to Motif, specifically to Motif. Bass would recognize the call, everyone she had known before would recognize the call, but she didn't care anymore. She couldn't wait any longer, but she couldn't leave. "Please..." the word came, without the wolf's notice. "Words"

Motif would hear the call, the familiar tone of an old friend and she would answer immedietly by rising from her resting place and heading out to where it originated. Shaye was off in Imperium with Rhythm, likely learning healing and playing with her Aunt. Shai was off also, perhaps hunting, and things where quite in Abaven. She had seen Mira only once since the girls initial disaperance and she had immedietly forgiven the other, through she wished Mira could return to Abaven and they could continue where they had left off, but none of that had happened.

She had no idea what news her friend had to give her, and so she would be able to approch Mira with a smile, moving immedietly to embrace her friend, to smile and look her over to judge if she looked well. Funny how the pair had first met out of a desire to spar, and she had proved to be a worthy apponant. After that, Mira had simply always had her back and somewhere along the way a friendship had been born. The Destruction girl didn't spar any more, not since she had given birth to Shaye and her entire life had changed, but her friendship with Mira.. that was still the same. “Mira, its so good to see you again” she said with feeling, wishing she didn't have to miss her friend so.A

It was relief, relief so strong Mira sagged against a tree. She could smell her; she was there. She had answered. It made hope light up in the female's eyes, and a grin to peek through even as she straightened herself, stepping out to meet that embrace, her muzzle nuzzling against Motif in a familiar greeting. Tears pricked her eyes again, but this time, out of an odd happiness -  happiness, mingled with sorrow. When Motif looked her over, she felt the smile fade, although it did tug back up, slightly. It was obvious, from her posture, to the look in her eyes, that the news was not good. "It's good to see you too, my friend." Oh, how she suddenly regretted this. Oh, how she wished she didn't have to. The wolf sniffled slightly, stepping forward once more to bury the tip of her nose in Motif's neck fur, a show of vulnerability not often afforded to one such as Mira. This time, though, she couldn't stop herself - even if she wanted to. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." To take it all back, to fix it all. If only she could. If only she had that luxury. "Words"

There was something stiff, and weary about the way Mira held herself and Motif began to feel cautious. What had Mira called her here for? It seemed it wouldn't simply be a catch up, a reunion, but if not that, then what? Her voice would be sad as she returned Motif's greeting, and Motif didn't speak again, just watched Mira and waited for an explanation. When Mira moved forward to gain comfort from her friend, Motif complied, pulling her into a fierce hug. What had happened? If someone had hurt Mira, she would rip them limb from limb, even if she was out of practice with her fighting. Mira would stutter an apology, making no sense and offering no explanation for what was going on. Motif pulled back slightly to look into her friends familiar orange orbs. “What happened Mira, whats going on? Do I need to kick some butts?” she asked, partially teasing in an effort to lighten the mood, but also partially serious – she would kick butts if she had to. ""

 

By the time Motif passed, Mira was somewhat compoased again. A shaky laugh emerged in response. A small grin, both saddened and amused, emerged on her face. "Maybe mine," she murmured, tone sorrowful. It was wondrous, what the feeling of being accepted, of having someone who knows her around. It was instantly calming. How... why she stayed away so long she couldn't even fathom; it was incomprehensible to her at this moment. Oh, how she would miss Motif. Mira took a deep breath. "I... have to go. Away. From Alacritia. I just... too many mistakes. Too many... it's painful, being here. I can't put my mistakes to rest. Half the time, I can't even think. And when I do, it's of the many mistakes I've made. Abandoning Bass. Twice. Running away, from you. Not even saying goodbye. When I joined Sonticus, even there I faded away, left without good-bye. I came.. I came because.. I can't stand not to say goodbye again, Mo. I can't!" Yellow eyes flashed, the words leaving her in almost a cry. Fierce, with that spark of the old Mira. And then it was gone, the fight draining from her and she looked down once more. Shoulders lifted in a shrug, inasmuch as a wolf can shrug. A sigh. "I came to say goodbye. That I'm leaving, leaving Alacritia. I don't know for how long. For a while, though. I don't know when I'll be back. But I know I can't stay here.  And I know I could never have lived with myself for not saying good-bye to you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused." The last words were caught on a soft sob as the tears spilled over, though after it, it was silent. "Words"

Mira's answer would only confuse Motif more as she told her perhaps only her own. Motif didn't say anything more however, just tilted her and looked at her friend. She wanted to know what was wrong, and how she could help her but Mira just wasn't making sense. Clearly something was wrong, and kicking ass was an easier solution to Motif then finding words. In fact, as the past had told her speech was definitely not her strong point. Motif wouldn't have to wonder for long however before her friend spoke, and explained herself. Motif would swallow as her friend explained herself, explained her worries and her troubles. Motif knew things hadn't been easy for Mira, she had faded away from the, vanished without a good bye. She wasn't sure what was going on in her friends life only that she would be there for her if Mira needed her. “I'm sorry life's lead you that way Mira, you know i'll always be here in Abaven – if you ever need me you know where to find me. I hope you find yourself out there Mira, and can come back to us one day” she whispered softly, moving forward to rest her head against Mira's as she thought of her friend going. Motif could only live with it if she thought it was only for now, even a few years slipped by, she didn't want this to be good bye, the end of their friendship. ""

 

she stood there, silently, listening to her friend's words; gaining comfort from them. She stood there silently, head resting against Motif's, until the tears dried, and she was composed again. As much as she could be. She took a slight step back, her head still near Motif's; just far enough away to look her friend in the eyes. "Thank you." Two words, and she put as much meaning into those words as she possibly could. Gratefulness, first and foremost. Sorrow, second. An odd joy, third. It was an odd mix, but it was everything Mira felt. Then she stepped forward once more. "I'll come back," she whispered to the Destruction. "I promise." Come back to Motif; come back to Abaven. Come back to those she abandoned over a year ago. She swore it, to herself and to Motif. Eyes closed, she moved back. It was time for her to go. Motif knew; her insides were soothed. Just those steps back and one look Motif would know that Mira could not linger any longer; Motif was much too smart not to notice. A small smile, and she was brushing past the dark brown female, pausing only to rasp a lick across the ears. Then she was past, her tail sliding free of Motif's side. She didn't look back, though, not until she was nearly out of sight, swallowed by the thick grasses. There she turned, to take one last look at the one person who stayed by her side, this entire time, even when Mira herself didn't do that. Yellow eyes meeting yellow, Mirabelle asked one last favor: "Please, if my daughter comes to Alacritia, look after her, Motif." Then she was gone, swallowed up by the dying grasses. "Words"