I don't understand it

Current didn't visit the beach any more, where hungry waves lapped menacingly against the shore. Since the day the ocean had turned against them, there had been a black mark against her soul. Not to mention the chill in her bones that never seemed to ease. She felt she would never be warm again, but nor did the temperature suit her body any longer. The heat of her families coats felt sickening and wrong to her and she shied from their touch. She deeply lamated the loose of her sister, her litter me and best friend. It had always been her snd illume right from the very start. They had done everything together and now that she was gone there was more then just thr pain of her lose... there was question of figuring out where current went from here. It was a question she was interested in answering and so she wondered aimlessly, attempting to keep away from her family and keep a distance from the ocean she despised.

She did wonder how many of them blamed her for illumes demise, after all if she hadn't slipped and gone under... if she hadn't.... her body shook and she shoved the thought away.
Without her minds consent, her body had taken her to the cliff top. Perhaps it was the thought of illume that had dragged her here. Her skyward sister had started to love this spot, it had begun to mean something to her. She had intended to sit their in silence and beg whatever guided their elemental nature to return illume to her. Instead, she would be greeted with the sight of one if her uncles, and she bowed her head and attempted to slip away.