No More Regrets

Célestin closed his eyes as Pegasus leaned into him, taking comfort in that familiar touch. Not for the first time, he'd resist the urge to bury his face in his friend's fur, to make the distance between them disappear. But he hoped it might be the last time. Some part of the man knew his friend was right, that he wasn't at fault but it wasn't as if his guilt would be banished by words alone, but he'd also spoken truly when he'd said he hadn't regretted it. His mother was a sore point, he'd loved her but she hadn't been healthy for a long time, it would have been selfish of her to force him to stay... but hadn't he also be selfish? It was only recently he'd considered that it hadn't even been right for Blaise to be forced to look after her, that should never have fallen to any of her children. But he wasn't sure he could blame his uncle either, he wasn't sure he'd known how bad she was... though he had warned his uncle when he'd left... so maybe he was a bit mad, maybe he did blame him.

Célestin breathed in the words Pegasus spoke, feeling his heart flutter as his friend admitted he'd have stayed if Célestin had, no Célestin didn't regret leaving. He could feel Pegasus building to something and before the rainbow man could say his own piece he heard those three words, feeling the weight of the world fall from his friend's lips.

Shock drew his head back, severing that physical connection for what felt like years, he opened his eyes and looked at his friend. Then he laughed. Cruel as it might seem he couldn't help it, a pure real laugh falling from his lips during what should have been a solemn reverent moment, it's wasn't sarcastic or biting, but a real expression of joy. "Who said you could steal my line?" He asked behind tears, crying for the first time since they'd gotten the news though if it was more a mixture of his laughter and the sadness of grief finally hitting him. His emotions were a storm of joy, of relief, of the heaviness of his grief. It was like a breath he'd been holding released and all the emotions he'd been holding back with it came flooding over him. "I love you too." He'd say, hoping he hadn't let it sit unresponded to for too long. "I knew I never wanted to let that go unsaid again."" He looked at his mother's grave. "I just never expected you to beat me to the punch. I'm sorry for laughing." Célestin nosed at Pegasus' cheeks, then he did something he'd wanted to for so long but always been too afraid to do. He closed his eyes and began to lick at his friend's cheek, slow, tentative kisses. "I love you so much." He whispered, the tears now a mixture of grief and relief and he simply let them flow, unable to deny his own feelings any more.

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