I Hold with Those Who Favor Fire

The weight of the situation still hung heavy in Artorias' mind, even as Sirius returned his nuzzle and patted the paw that he was touching him with. But Artorias simply could not bring himself to fully blame Sirius for what had transpired. Seer had goaded him, egged him on, pushed him to the edge—but it had ultimately been Artorias who had acted. He had taken the bait, drove the dagger into his neck, lost control. He had every opportunity to walk away. He could have stopped the fight when he realized Sirius wasn't fighting back. But he didn't. He had let his rage dictate his actions and his responses. Perhaps to some Sirius did share a greater portion of the guilt as an adult, but Art just did not see it that way. They were both at fault, and they would both work through it together, because it was fast becoming apparent that they needed one another.

Although Sirius' answer hadn't been the one he had hoped for, it was the one Art needed to hear nonetheless. There was nothing to be done in situations where they could not participate or fight back. It was the same thing he had heard from Lúta when he'd asked the healer about how they could help fix Resin. It was a harsh lesson the boy was slowly coming to understand. Sometimes there was nothing you could do, no matter how much you wished there was. Artorias swallowed hard, thinking of his mother all alone in her cell, wasting away into nothing. He would need to go see her again soon. With any divine grace, she would still be herself...

Sirius asked Art for the water, and the boy immediately perked up, turning to spot the water skin and empty bowl lying just out of reach. He hopped up to his feet and snatched the water skin up, bringing it with the bowl back over and laying both beside the Warlord in his bed. He popped the stopper off and poured the contents into the bowl, then set the empty skin back on the floor. He made a note to make sure someone knew to refill it for their patient.

When Seer said he'd send for Briar, Art's face lit up with a light it had been devoid of for the last several days. He breathed another sigh of relief, a slow smile crawling its way across his face. Good, that meant Briar truly was okay. The grim reminder that the Fatalis family had just lost their matriarch as well as an older sibling dampened his happiness, and his smile slowly melted off his lips. That was right... Not only had Sirius lost his mate and his son, Briar and the others had lost their mother and brother. Artorias tried to imagine the pain, the grief, the confusion at the sudden loss they faced. He tried to imagine how he would feel if he was not only losing Resin, but Rudyard or Gwynevere too. His heart wrenched in his chest; he wanted to be able to help Sirius, but this was also one of those situations where his strength meant nothing.

"I'm sorry I never got the chance to meet Zee," he said after a moment, ears still flat to his head while empathy clouded his bright eyes. "I wish I could fight the pain... All of it; mine, yours, everyone's. I wish there was something I could do besides just hurt all the time." Artorias looked away for a moment, giving himself some headspace to gather his thoughts and keep those emotions from building up into another breakdown or sobs. He peered over at the far windows, at the murky gray light spilling in from the icy day outside.

"I hope you know how lucky Briar is that you're her dad. You're about the best anyone can get." A rueful smile twisted at the corners of his mouth. "I'll probably never know my dad. Mom says she doesn't know who it is. I don't know what that means, but... sometimes I think that's for the best." He finally looked back to Sirius then, trying not to let the melancholy creep into his voice or his eyes. It had always been a sore spot for the boy, getting to watch other families be "normal". He wouldn't trade his family for anything in the world, of course, but it was enough to make him wonder all the what ifs that came with it. "Besides, Resin's been kinda like the other dads I see, and when you're around, it's kinda the same thing, right?"


"Artorias" | Thoughts | "Corbin"