all i've ever wanted

There was no taking things slow, this was all or nothing in their love making and their relationship. Sirius was always intense, that was part of who he was and it translated into the way he handled her. He needed her as she desperately needed him. His kiss was deep and true as he ravaged her body, giving her no reprieve as he drove her to the heights of pleasure. The rush of emotion and lust overwhelmed her, but Sirius kissed away her tears even as he rocked against the curve of her. There was no holding back, her gentle moans and whines were given to him as he did with her as he wanted. She gave herself to him as much as he finally took what had always belonged to him.

Their hearts beat in time as gentle gasps for air left them, the fire between them finally simmering after an incredible blaze. His limbs were as shaky as her own as he collapsed against her chest and surrounded her in a completely different way. She gasped lightly, but she felt weightless there beneath him. Like the moon and stars finally aligned and all was right in the world with him holding her.

”I know,” she returned quietly, though satisfied there would always be that nagging need for him in her breast. She pressed her cheek against the side of his head, her muzzle caressing his dark ear as she whispered to him, her words in soft gasps as she struggled to catch her breath. ”Seer,” she made herself comfortable with his pet name once again, for so long she avoided it to try and disconnect with the one she couldn’t have. Now her heart’s desire was fulfilled. He had her, he held her tightly, he owned her. ”I’ve needed you for so long.” Tears built in her eyes again as she squeezed her thin arms around his neck and clung to him.

None of it felt real, like he could disappear from her the moment she let him go. She knew after this there was no recovery. He took her, her pain, pleasure, and her life all of it was nestled within his massive paws. She was at his mercy now. It didn’t matter if he was using her to feel whole, or as a bandaid to cover the sorrow, she was his to do with as he pleased. He never had to admit he loved her as long as she had his protective arms around her. Without him holding her up she was nothing. He was the man to return the phoenix to flame, and he could turn her to ashes just as easily.