Life on a Fishing Line

Tamsyn's head was pounding by the time she walked back into the castle and up the stairs to the corridor that would lead to the room she shared with Kane. She wished that she felt more satisfied than she did about finally getting to get all of those words off of her chest, but Sirius made everything so much more painful and complicated than it really needed to be and this was no different. Any buzz or tipsiness from the copious amounts of wine she had consumed was gone, leaving behind a headache and a clarity she didn't really have the energy to think about. She had wanted to just tell Sirius her thoughts, force him to stare his mistakes in the face, and then be done with him forever, but as the idiot man pointed out they would constantly be in contact through their children. Of course she understood that she could make herself scarce whenever he came to visit or request that Artorias take the grandchildren to visit him in the Armada rather than letting him come here, but she didn't want to be the reason for a rift or tension for her son. She sighed and dejectedly walked down the hall to their room, quietly opening the door and slipping inside as she silently hoped that she had managed to leave and come back without disturbing Kane. He had listened to enough of her ranting and raving for one night, he didn't deserve to deal with the mess she currently was too.

But as she got settled back into the furs and pillows on the bed once more she heard Kane's voice. Dread settled over her and her ears flicked back with a sigh, laying her head down on one of the pillows as she closed her eyes against the pain aching through her head with each heartbeat. Gods, how did she even explain herself? She had a feeling that nothing she said would really justify it to him, especially after all he had done to give her an outlet for her anger, but she supposed all she could do was tell him the truth. "I... I sent Eilwen to deliver a message to Sirius," she admitted shamefully, opening her eyes just enough to look at the back of his head that was silhouetted by the moonlight. "I was laying here after you went to sleep and I just couldn't stop thinking about how badly I wanted to tell him off for everything he had done so... I did. Via raven. I'd tell you the message I sent, but I'm not sure I could remember it all now... It was long and violent and full of curses though." She had no doubt that Eilwen had delivered it in its entirety or at the very least got the point across. She didn't think Sirius would have come here in the middle of the night otherwise.

She groaned softly and covered her face with her forelegs, shielding herself from the light. "I know I shouldn't have, I know... I wasn't thinking clearly... He got my message and stormed down here and I knew if I didn't go meet him he'd come up to the castle and make a whole scene out of it." She laid there for a little longer, knowing that wasn't a sufficient excuse when she had told him that she would stay away from Sirius entirely. She had broken her promise and that wasn't excusable, no matter how angry or drunk she had been. Tamsyn lifted one of her forelegs from her face, peeking over at him and gently resting a paw on the back of his broad shoulder. "I'm sorry, Kane... I wanted so badly to force him to see all of the pain he's put everyone else through that I wasn't thinking beyond that - especially not while I was drunk. I've been so afraid to face him for so long, but I had just had enough. I couldn't take it any more and no one else was going to hold him accountable." She let her paw fall away from his shoulder again after a moment, her ears pinned back against her head as she covered her eyes with her foreleg again, bracing herself for the inevitable anger or disappointment she was going to be met with.

Tamsyn Carpathius