Life on a Fishing Line

As much as she tried to prepare herself for the hurt that Kane was going to give her it still stung more deeply than she had been ready for. That disappointment in his words and the tiredness he so obviously felt at this painful, reoccurring part of her life hit her harder than anything else had. Despite the discomfort the light caused her, she still lifted her paw to peek at his back that was still pointedly facing her while he spoke, not missing a bit of the emotion and quiver to his voice that broke her heart. She didn't interrupt or interject the whole time he was speaking, just listening and trying to understand. Sometimes it was hard for her to see past her own hurt and anger to see the ripples it caused and she realized that in that way she wasn't much better than Sirius. That thought struck her and she was quiet for a moment as she contemplated that realization with a frown pulling at her tired face.

After a few long, thoughtful moments she shifted closer, pressing her face into his scruff, slipping her forelegs around his sides even though she couldn't reach all the way around him, reaching out to him and using his back to block the moonlight at the same time. "I'm sorry..." she said into his fur. No excuses, no qualifications, no reasons. She knew she had handled all of this so incredibly poorly and she knew he was right at least to some extent. She didn't like that her and Sirius' lives were so intertwined, but she couldn't figure out a way to untangle them now, especially not with Briar and Artorias so obviously in love. She couldn't ask her son to give up his girlfriend so they could cut the Fatalis family out of their lives, but she also couldn't abandon her son to at least remove herself from those wolves either. But that was a bigger problem for another time. For now her biggest worry was repairing the damage she had caused with her rash, drunken actions.

"You're right... I know you're right... I don't want you to be right... I don't want any of it..." She sighed, her paws curling around panfuls of his fur as she sighed, squeezing her eyes shut with her ears folded back. "I'm sorry, Kane... I know sorry doesn't really cut it, but... I really didn't mean to hurt you and if I could take it all back I would... Yelling in his face and all that wasn't worth hurting you or breaking my promise..."

Tamsyn Carpathius