Shifting Worlds

Briar's ears flicked back with worry when he began to answer her and hesitated, only to tell her that he wasn't sure if something was wrong. Her head tilted slightly with confusion, the excitement and love in her expression replaced with a worried frown and a furrowed brow. As he began to speak she sank back onto her haunches to listen, watching as he struggled to explain what was on his mind while looking anywhere but her. She of course knew about what he had done to her father and she knew at least vaguely about the meditation and guidance Sirius had given him, but she clearly hadn't known the full scope of how deep this anger ran and most certainly didn't know about this newer development. Her confusion deepened at the mention of how these urges had begun to manifest themselves as lust and for a moment she couldn't quite figure out why that was a problem. They very obviously lusted after each other all the time - so much so that they had gotten themselves caught by her father. Despite what her father had told them to do she was more than willing to indulge that desire however much he wanted to.

It wasn't until he seemed to try and calm her worries, telling her how much he loved her and then bringing up Lia and what had happened on their way back to the Armada, that she started to piece it together. It wasn't the lust for her that was a problem. It was the lust for others. He confirmed as much soon enough and she was taken aback by the statement, blinking with shock at him and her ears folding back again with uncertainty. She believed him when he insisted that nothing had happened, but his statements over how he hadn't wanted to stop, how he had wanted to pleasure Lia even though he hadn't... Her mind was reeling. There was a lot of things that they related on. A deep love of their family, a drive to do better for their packs, tangled trauma with their parents, growing up with lots of siblings... All things that had drawn them together so easily and made them understand each other so well. This wasn't something she could relate with him on.

Somehow when he admitted that it wasn't just Lia he had felt this for it caught her off guard again and all throughout his explanation she sat in stunned silence. At least with Lia she could justify things. Their servant had technically made the first move and had sparked the thought. Lia was a beautiful wolf, she couldn't entirely blame him for wanting her, and knowing that it was someone they both cared about so much made it slightly more easy to swallow. But knowing that he had the same urges for even more wolves... He mentioned how he couldn't keep letting her think of him as perfect when he wasn't and as much as she wanted to reach out and comfort him to assure him that everything was fine she couldn't. It had most certainly shattered her perception of things, but she wouldn't let herself storm off or be upset over it. The last time she had done that it had only tore her apart. She sat there quietly, taking it in and trying to process it rationally as he continued.

He brought up someone he had met, a man that had formed a pack in Auster, that had shown him a completely different lifestyle from their own - a harem of women and slaves, indulging in any and all urges and desires. She didn't know who this mysterious man was, but part of her hated him for encouraging all of this in her Artorias, but at the same time she supposed she was glad for it. She would rather all this come out now instead of after she had moved to The Hallows, after they were married with a family... At least now she could see it a little more objectively. She could only imagine how trapped she would have felt if all of this had come out later, how she would have felt obligated to maintain their life together for the sake of their family. At least now she could consider it and decide if it was something she could live with.

At first her initial response was no. She grew up with parents that, at least from what she had seen, were utterly devoted to each other. She at the very least knew how obsessed and devoted her father was to her mother and that was the only kind of relationship she had ever known. It's what she had wanted for herself and what she thought she had with Artorias. It was hard to not feel like that wasn't the case any more no matter how much he insisted he loved her. But when he talked about how he just wanted to feel satisfied and like he didn't have to hide any part of himself it brought up her own inner conflict. She didn't want him to struggle with himself and have to force himself to be something he wasn't. She didn't want him to feel like he was broken or something was wrong with him. It was something that she had been struggling with herself for a long time and it wasn't something that she would wish on anyone, especially not Art.

When he looked back up at her there wasn't hate or loathing in her gaze, only confusion and conflict. He didn't know how to process it and she most certainly didn't either. The thought crossed her mind that she could break things off here with the understanding that they just simply wanted different things from life now, but as soon as that thought formed it was quickly followed with the memory of the days she had spent wallowing in heartbreak and fear that she may never get to be with the man she loved again. She had promised herself that she would never make that mistake ever again once she got him back and it felt impossible to do it now. She remained silent as she searched his face for a moment before letting her gaze shift down to the ground in front of her paws, considering it all and trying to imagine how she would feel if he ever indulged those urges like that other alpha had encouraged him to do. It took her a long moment of consideration, but she found a question among it all that she needed an answer to before she could really decide where to go from here.

"Who else have you wanted?" she questioned, finally lifting her gaze back up to his again. "You said Lia isn't the only one you've wanted... Who else? How many?" Was it every pretty woman he came across? Was it only specific wolves? How wide spread were these urges? How many of them would he actually want to act on? She needed to know the full scope and scale of things before she could begin to grasp how she felt in all of this. She absolutely did not want to give him up, but she had to be fair to herself in this as well.

"Briar Fatalis"