inevitably

Hanako didn't know what to do and the uncertainty of it all was smothering her, making it hard to breathe as she dashed through the long grass. Her thoughts were messy and scattered, growing wildly out of control no matter how much she struggled to trim them back. This wasn't supposed to happen, it shouldn't have, and yet she recognised the signs for what they were and knew it to be the truth. Undeniable, and as real as the little lives that were now growing inside of her.

Hiccuping with tears streaming down her face, she slowed to a walk. Unable to go any further without running the risk of making herself ill, she simply slumped down onto her haunches, uncaring of the mud that stained the white of her coat. She just didn't- she didn't know what to do. What she was supposed to do or even what she wanted. That was usually such an easy question to answer, the response dancing on the tip of her tongue as she pretended to think about it. But not here and now. Not when so much was at stake.

She didn't even like the idea of children and always considered it to be too much work for not enough gain but- It was hard to say, to even put a paw on how she really felt about it. It was all too much, all at once and dealing with it alone wasn't something she could manage. Felt it already spilling out of her grip and making a right mess out of the Armada and her family.

Tipping her head back, she let out a wobbly call for Azure as she remained where she was. Hidden in the long grass, like a dirty secret.