I Swear to Drunk I'm Not God

Artorias wasn't drunk. That suit of armor had jumped out at him. He definitely didn't stumble or walk into it, no sir. It didn't matter that he'd had almost two whole bottles of wine on his own through the course of the feast. He was fiiiiine, really! Oh, wait, when did he end up on the floor? Artorias gave a huff through his nostrils and blinked his eyes, trying to focus his swirling vision as he stared across the planes of the stone floor in the corridor. Where was he? The corridor outside the great hall, right? Why was he out here again? Artorias tried to rack his drunken brain for the answers. He remembered wine—lots and lots of wine—and food. He remembered some of the wolves leaving for bed. Most of the wolves. All of the wolves. The feast had ended. That's right, the feast was over! Almost every Hallowed wolf had gone to bed, only a couple stragglers remaining to pick at the remains of the meats and leftover wine in the warmth of the great hall. Artorias had watched everyone leave, some alone and some together. Tika with Audra, Ezra with Syanna, Tamsyn with Kane, Ulric with Eska... all the couples and loners.

A memory suddenly sparked in his brain. That was why he'd drunk so much! Artorias had felt painfully lonely without Briar at his side and having to watch the others enjoying the feast with their significant others. But none had stung quite like seeing Bowen hanging smitten over Haiku while they snuggled off to the side. Don't get him wrong; Artorias wasn't jealous or anything. He was happy for Bowen after all! He just saw how they were together and wished that it was him Bowen was cuddling up with. That wasn't jealousy... right? Artorias blinked his eyes a few times while the world shifted around him, trying to force that memory back into the alcoholic haze while his equilibrium basically became nonexistent. He chewed on his lip, placing both front paws firmly to the floor and hoisting himself back up. It was far from a graceful rise, the Aegis looking more like a deer trying to stand for the first time while he got to his paws and wobbled side to side. At least he was up again.

Artorias stumbled and shambled his way down the corridor, large paws swaying to and fro with each step. Somehow he managed to make his way to the foyer without falling or crashing into anything again, which was a godsend. Bleary amber eyes gazed up the grand staircase to where his bedroom waited, the stairs seeming to grow and shift almost like they were alive and breathing. Now that wasn't fair! Since when did the stairs move? Ohhh boy, this is gonna be fun... he thought while he took the first few unsteady steps towards the stairs. Maybe if he just tried to crawl his way up to his room he wouldn't have to worry about falling. At least this late at night, no one would be around to see him make a fool of himself. Everyone else was either asleep or fucking or getting plastered in the great hall. Beginning his ascend, Artorias tried to time his steps with each shift of the stairs, staring straight down at them as he climbed. These stairs wouldn't be tricking him tonight!

"Artorias Carpathius" | "Carpathian" | "Corbin" | "Argent"