five AM on the bathroom floor from the night before
02-10-2022, 11:32 PM
Artorias didn't know what to make of Grimshaw's state. His brother was obviously getting drunk to forget something, or to alleviate the pain of something on his heart and mind. The scoff and retort from Grim drew a crooked smile from Artorias, who took his brother's praise with a simple, "Thank you." Sometimes it really didn't feel that way. Sometimes it still felt like he was just fumbling around in the dark, doing his best to not fail epically at the task left behind for him by their mother. Art had never had his mind set on leadership, never foresaw himself as Aegis. It hadn't been his goal or his ambition or his drive. It had always been something he'd just sort of grown into. And for all the success Grim saw in him, Artorias saw a number of flaws and failures. He wasn't self-deprecating by any means; he just struggled to see what others saw in him sometimes.
Grimshaw's apathetic response to Art's comment earned a curious quirk of a brow from the azure-furred brute, peering over at his brother from beside him. That hadn't been the response he'd expected. Grim had never been the most extroverted or gregarious wolf to begin with, but he thought that if his brother had truly been happy in the Armada, it might get more than just a few passive words. Grim made it blatantly clear that he did not wish to talk about this though, as he immediately followed up his terse sentence with a deep swig of wine. Artorias logged that away for future reference and then took a drink of his own, rich red ambrosia pouring over his tongue and down his gullet.
Then the dark-furred brute at his side spoke, his voice a much softer timbre now that took Artorias by surprise. His brother's question made the alpha hesitate, giving it deep thought while he pondered his answer. That was a complex and powerful question that raised so many more on his end. Artorias pursed his lips together, fiery amber eyes staring out ahead of them at the moonlit garden while he swirled the bottle of wine in his paw and mulled it over, arriving on the truthful response a moment after. "I knew when I saw what my life would be like without her." He punctuated his answer with a gulp of wine, passing the bottle back to Grimshaw while he explained further. "Briar had always been a point of stability in my life. When our mother got sick, she snuck down to see me and be with me. Everyone else was focused on Mom, but she was just as worried about me. She showed me in those little ways that she cared for me, that I was always on her mind. And then... one day, she just up and left me."
Artorias sighed and gazed up at the partly cloudy night sky, watching the stars twinkle about for a moment. "Briar didn't feel like she was worthy of me. She'd never told me about these feelings until it was too late, and by then I couldn't convince her otherwise or do anything to fix it. She just... decided she wasn't good enough and left me. After that day, I saw what my life would be like if she wasn't in it. I felt... empty. Colors weren't as vibrant. The sun wasn't as warm as it used to be. Everything felt... I dunno, lifeless, I guess? But really, it was because I'd lost my reason to feel alive." He didn't know if Grim had been aware of the turbulence his relationship had experienced. By then, his brother had left the Hallows, but had he joined the Armada by then? Art wasn't sure. "We eventually made up, obviously. As corny as it sounds, we talked and bore our hearts to one another. I understood her and she understood me. I vowed I'd never let her leave my life again after that day... because I'd seen what the alternative was like, and it wasn't living at all."
A rueful smile slowly spread over Artorias' lips and he chuckled under his breath, shaking his head to himself before turning to look at Grim, even if he wasn't looking back at him. "Sometimes you have to lose something to really make you appreciate how it affected your life." But now there was a lingering question in Artorias' mind, one he didn't know if Grimshaw would answer or not, but he had to sate his curiosity. "Why do you ask? Does my brother have a special someone he thinks is the one?"