five AM on the bathroom floor from the night before

Artorias offer had certainly not fallen on deaf ears and the idea to return home, although just an inkling before, had now grown. He couldn't lie and say that he didn't enjoy his time in the Armada, because he certainly wouldn't be where he's at today if he hadn't agreed to join. Honestly, he probably wouldn't be here at all if it wasn't for Sirius. But unfortunately, since Sirius had accepted him into the Armada, he hadn't seen much of him. Even Azure was scarce and hard to find, though he couldn't say they weren't around. He'd spent some time with them, but over the past few seasons he'd spent with the Armada, he'd expected some more involvement from the Warlord at least.

He laughed as his brother trailed off his words, motioning to how muscular he'd gotten since he'd left the Hallows. If they had just fought of some raiding pirates, that sounded a lot more fun that searching for training partners that he hadn't already fought with time and time again. Even the dummies were getting pointless now. He wanted a real battle, a real job. He wasn't feeling fulfilled in the Armada, but he couldn't thank them enough either. It was bittersweet, really, but he worried the Armada wouldn't be enough for him but instead just a stepping stone onto greater things. Artorias offer would certainly be considered. "It's an offer I'll greatly consider. The Armada has done so much for me in some ways, the structure maybe, but nothing happens around there." He shrugged, trailing off some. He wondered what moving back to the Hallows would be like, even, if Sirius would let him. Would Malachai want to move or would he be left without him should he make the decision on his own? He didn't want to think about it right now.

He had in fact missed Artorias own citrine eyes scanning over his body, but he certainly did miss being noticed for looking himself. Artorias was lighter than him, but only by so much as Grim's muscle tone was even more than he liked it being. He wanted to become a little leaner, though all the time he'd spent hunting and patrolling and even sparring others had left him with more muscle and bulk than he knew what to do with. When he'd abruptly looked away from the man, it was from the thoughts starting to tickle his brain and the strange feeling in his chest and stomach that he felt in the early mornings with Malachai. Thankfully Artorias was quick to respond to his confession, with far more excitement than he'd even come close to expecting from him.

He went on but he didn't know the whole story. Grimshaw was hesitant to say anything about it, knowing what it would sound like at this rathe, but reached for the bottle of wine and took another large swig anyway after a chuckle in response to his brothers words. "It's a long story really. During the Long Night, we kept running into each other. One night I was at the hot springs and a crystal was at the bottom. When I went to go check it out...." He paused, his heart racing as he admitted the story to Artorias. The alcohol was only helping the words come out, but not the anxiety behind the trauma itself. Verbalizing the event was still hard, even if the alcohol numbed his pain otherwise.

"-something felt like it was holding me down, trying to drown me. I couldn't get back to the surface. I started to take in water, but Malachai was there to save me. Ever since then, I cant sleep without him. The nightmares are terrible, partly why I'm out here instead of sleeping. He snapped at me before I left." His ears shot back as he finished abruptly, his drunken voice slurring over many of his words but getting the point across regardless. As his racing heart would slow after getting it all off of his chest, he reached for the bottle again and took another swig. His eyes found themselves back on Artorias as he took his drink, roaming and wandering over his body as the feelings he could only equate to being gay returned.

Setting the bottle back down between them with somewhat of a slam, Grimshaw cleared his throat and forced his eyes back to his brothers face. "Enough of this sappy shit, when was the last time we sparred?" He flashed his brother another toothy grin, this time rising on drunken paws and challenging his brother to a friendly fight.

"Speech."