Paranoid it might be reckless, no matter what I say

Bellamy · 08-11-2022, 03:30 PM

The woman had gotten distracted to put it simply… Pulled away from seeking out her mate or even calling at the border for Wren. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to do either of those things of course, but the need of a little one had pulled up a motherly instinct within Bells that she couldn’t ignore. The child wasn’t a wolf, no, but she needed someone to care for her. She needed someone to be a mother. There had been no sign of the mother polar bear whatsoever, though Bellamy had looked briefly with the cub and even howled for the other woman once they returned to the den the duo had called home. But the polar bear mother never came… and so Bellamy had laid with the little one, curled around her to keep the cub safe and warm.

She knew when she woke again she’d likely need to hunt again. Fish, more likely than not… her shoulder still hurt, and running on it would likely irritate the injury. Well, so would the salt water. It had stung like a bitch getting splashed with a wave yesterday when she was trying to find something for the cub. Sleep had come to her easily enough and, for the first time since leaving Gavroche, there was a sense of calm washed over her. She didn’t see Chaos or Delusion and Calamity on the outskirts of her vision.

She felt safe.

Bellamy remained curled around the little one when she started to stir. She flicked open her eyes, thankful the nightmares hadn’t returned. Her ears flicked forward, twitching, as she heard a voice, however. A voice she knew well. She uncurled from around the cub, careful to not wake her, and slipped from the den to see a very, very worried Gavroche and James waiting for her. Her gaze softened as she took the small male into an embrace.

“Gav…” She rumbled, thankful to see him there.

She heard shuffling and turned her head to see Ears and Whiskers as well, her look apologetic.

“Running off like that, have you gone stupid?” Ears grumbled.

“And your shoulder Bells… what happened?” Ears drew closer to her.

“Shhh…” She glanced over her shoulder towards the den but it didn’t seem the cub had awoken. “I’ll explain just… keep your voices down, will you?” She glanced back at them all. She knew that she had worried them all…

“I… had an episode, I think… But this one was… different. Worse. Way worse than anything I’ve ever felt or experienced before.” The woman frowned thoughtfully. “I felt like I had to run… but no matter how far I ran I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was right on my heels. It kept coming and wouldn’t let up… Even when my lungs and legs hurt I didn’t want to stop… then I was falling…” The woman furrowed her brow.

“I made it to the South but… I didn’t feel right.” She lowered her gaze. “Like I was me but… not… everything was so, so loud…” Bellamy lowered her rump to the earth.

“A woman… I think she meant to help me… I lashed out…” Her brow furrowed. The start of it all was fuzzy. She had remembered the loudness in her head… and then…

“Ignis Praetor came… a man I knew from before. In Winterfell… before he attacked Acere, and took it by force during my absence…” Her ears lowered. If she had been there when Ignis took over, would it have made a difference? Would Acere have been okay…? Safe?

“He defended her… I think. I don’t know. The whole fight something felt off. Wrong. I couldn’t put my paw on it. I fought him. I was angry, Gav, so angry…” She closed her eyes and sighed. “He tore into me… I… I wanted him to hurt me.” She shivered. “It felt like I was losing my mind. I was so on edge… scared… angry… full of hate for him, for myself…” She opened her eyes and looked back at her mate.

“He won…” She didn’t reveal the words that Ignis had told her… how she was meant to die…

“I don’t know what came of them after that. They allowed me to limp off… I passed out… but not before seeing the fallen twins on the edge of my vision.” Bellamy whined here. “I saw them… I felt their presence… Everything was falling apart… but… when I woke up, though I could see Chaos, there was someone else there too… Bae-Syl. Lucy’s friend.” Bells shook her head.

“He… helped me get ahold of myself again. Cleaned up my wound.” She glanced towards her shoulder and then back to Gavroche. “After speaking with him and getting this covered I started back North. I noticed Menagerie had moved, and I was hoping to find you there but... I wasn’t sure where else to look. I began wandering and well…” She gestured towards the den.

“I wasn’t the only one in trouble. I found a young polar bear cub stumbling through the snow, hungry, and alone… I tried to keep an eye out for her mother, even called to her… but the woman never came.” She flicked her ears back some.

“I know I’m no polar bear, but I couldn’t leave her. She’s sleeping right now… and I’m keeping her with me. With us.” She stated this firmly, letting Gavroche know there would be no argument in the matter. She had made up her mind to help the little one and that was that. At least they were all brought back up to speed.

Whiskers shook her head, a knowing smile on her face as Bells finished her tale. She wasn’t really surprised. The woman had a good heart even if she was rough around the edges. Soft and squishy in the middle; she couldn’t hide the nature she’d been born with.

Ears on the other paw frowned thoughtfully. “You two raising a bear? As if your relationship wasn't weird enough already…”

"Speech" 'Thought.'

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