Unforgivable

*Alpine* · 03-26-2014, 08:18 PM

He knew by now what had happened, even if he had not been there to see it for himself. He had heard the howls that shook the night, the howl of Erani calling forth two wolves but had not known what it had been about. He had drifted by at a distance and had smelled the salty tang of blood and death. He had seen, from afar, too afraid to approach, the digging of the grave, such a small and tiny hole for such a small and tiny body and his heart had broken. He had promised her safety here, he had promised her that he would look out for him. He cherished life and had a soft spot in his heart for the young of this world. He would have looked out for her young also, for as long as she remained in this pack and even after if their paths had ever crossed again. He would have seen her have a future, happiness, with her young and he assumed that other wolf who had not been her brother but had been there for the birth. He would have looked out, as he would any wolf, or even more so for she was one who had seen hardness and sadness.

His heart was breaking as he made his way to the den, his heart was shattered pieces in his chest as he scented the sadness before he could even see if with his own eyes. It was a heavy musk that hung like death in the air; it was the scent of loss and sickness of the heart. He approached cautiously, hesitant to tread upon her time of grief but as equally unable to keep away. He had promised her protection and he had failed in the most unforgivable way possible, he had not been able to foresee and somehow prevent this. Perhaps if he had brought her food more regularly the pup would have been healthy enough to survive. Oh, damn him, damn him all to hell for failing this mother-no-more.

What ate at him the most was his very own words to Twig,
? ?You wouldn?t be the first pregnant fae to wish they could do more. But don?t consider it done just for you, it?s done for those who you carry. As part of this pack, temporary or permanent it is our jobs and our pride to care for the future generations. I don?t think you?re helpless, far from it, you?re just busy in the midst of doing something remarkable right now.?
His very words for her, he had told her right to her face that he had helped her had shown her kindness for the pups that she cared. He felt as if he had spat in her face, he felt as if he had betrayed her, he had wanted to give her strength for the times to come, the times of raising children in this world. Now she had no children to raise and he had as good as told her she was not welcome in this pack. He knew he was twisting his own words, he had not meant them to mean he had only welcomed her for the children ? he had meant it in regards that she was not weak well, by carrying them she was unable to care for herself, and that was not her fault, it was a fact to be proud of

Alpine?s legs quivered, his dusty blue eyes where filled with silver swirls of pain as he stood outside her den, frozen for the longest moment as he fought with himself, until he was unable to bare it any longer. He took a deep swig of fresh air and pushed his head into the cave to find the pitiful image of Twig, to find her lying in that den alone and broken and the shattered pieces of his heart dug into his chest, slicing him from the inside-out
?Twig?
He whispered softly, for a moment he was unable to enter the den, he could feel the pain in his own words but this could not be about him, this could never be about him, his pain was nothing and she was the one in need of comforting. He moved forward, the slow hypnotic pace of one who cannot believe the reality until he was kneeling beside her, moving his head to caress her shoulder with the softness of his nose
?Oh Twig?
He whispered again, for he had nothing else to say, there where no other words he could possibly ever say to make this okay again.

No, he had failed her; he knew that what he had not done was unforgivable.

"Speech"

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