My my, how things CHANGE
11-20-2014, 12:46 AM
Out of all the things that she had expected, him holding her like he once did was not one of them. His head rested on top of hers, and the rest of the world slipped away. She no longer felt the cool flakes as they drifted down around them, nor the bitter winter wind that ruffled their coats. For a few moments she allowed herself to be selfish, purple eyes slipping closed as she thought of nothing else but how warm he was. She nuzzled further into his coat, her nostrils flaring as they filled with his scent. It was just like she had remembered, although there was a new taste of his pack on him. Other wolves. Othello had to swallow hard to quell the jealously that flared within her, Crucifix was no longer hers to hold claim over. He has moved on, just as she had. No longer could she be angered at the smell of others. Plus, it was rather condescending, her own lover came home smelling of other woman. But yet... the feeling was different than with Crucifix. With Scorpion she had always known that he could never remain faithful to her. While she still felt sadness as well as jealousy, it was unlike what she felt while with Crucifix. She knew him to be a faithful and loving man, and yet she somehow expected more of him that she did of Scorpion. She mentally shook her head, pulling back from the silver marked man. She could not think like that, she would not be a wench and drive this family apart. As much as she wanted more from Scorpion, she still loved him. And yet... she had never stopped loving Crucifix. As she pulled back, she didn't miss the slight twist of his lip. She felt herself let out a soft puff of air, her eyes momentarily distracted by the cloud of mist that formed before her. She watched as it drifted upwards before completely vanishing, all at once becoming part of something bigger. She wondered if that what it was like when the body died, the spirit simply left and became part of a different, bigger thing. Energy never died, so the soul had to go somewhere. Perhaps that is where they meaning of 'old soul' came from, maybe they really did connect with new energy to once more come into the world. It was a pleasant thought, to think that a part of her would always be on his earth. But could their souls speak with each other? Would her and Crucifix have a reunion just like this, only in slightly airier forms? It was quite a silly thought, and yet something that pleased her greatly. She would like to think that, they she would never be apart from those that she cared for. She blinked back to the conversation at hand when Crucifix's baritone reached out to her, talking about it being a rather friendless job. She didn't doubt it, you would always have something to do. Plus all those lives to worry about and protect, what a stress load that would be. A heavy weight must be carried by all pack leaders, and Othello was glad that it was not the kind of life for her. She had already failed at being a mother, she didn't have to fail at being an alpha to know that she was not meant to be in charge of others. The softest of sighs whispered between parted lips, purple clashing with purple as she inspected his face. It was his next words that tore her apart, that made her heart sit heavy in her chest. Her face pulled downward in her sudden sadness, ears pulling towards her skull as her head turned towards the left. Eyes left his own as she inspected the land beside them, the snow drifting silently to the earth. It blanketed everything now, covering it in a vast sheet of white. Confusion filled her mind as her emotions ran rampant. She heard the notes in his voice, his own song of emotion filled with two contradicting things. He wanted her to stay -- but didn't. "Oh Crucifix..." She whispered, sorrow making her voice thick. "I, I don't know if its a good idea." She fell silent, her head falling as eyes squeezed shut. Stars danced in her vision as she squinted them tighter, making her head feel light. Slowly, she lifted it and looked up at him, her sweet Crucifix. "Could we truly handle seeing each other with other people? Could you truly be happy with your wife and children while I linger, conflicting your thoughts?" She asked, searching his face for the answers. It had nearly killed him when he had first seen her with Scorpion, could he see it every day? And would Scorpion even come to a new pack? She doubted it, and her heart filled with regret. The dame took a small step towards the silver beast, her head lifting so that her nose brushed against him briefly. It was a cold, shocking contact, but it helped her get her mind focused again. She truly still cared for this man, more than she had realized until he saw him again. But she felt so different around her, more aware of what was around her as well as inside her. He was the beacon that her heart sang for, and she didn't know if she could walk away. She hadn't felt alive since her children left, and while there was a large part of her still missing, she felt as if it could mend here. With him. But it wouldn't be fair, not to him nor his family. It would be best for her to walk away, to leave them to live her life. She would only be a burden like she once was, and it was about time that she stopped being so selfish. More wolves would get hurt if she stayed, and only the two of them would get hurt if she left. There was too much on the line, and she was being pulled in two different directions. |
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