He said her question was impossible and her heart sank. He specified that she should ask what she wanted to do. She had to think for a while, her first thought being an exasperated "I don't know!" though she wouldn't word it. She didn't grow up in a world where you worked steadily for something like a rank. She always just did things kind of in the heat of the moment. The only consistent things she was able to do was run a fake pack and half raise a kid. Valentine specified things that she could do to prove herself in such ranks. Esti would stay quiet for a moment, trying her hardest to actually think of what she wanted to do in a pack. It felt like a really simple question that even pups could answer, but, for her, it felt like she needed a better understanding of the mechanics of a pack. She wanted power-sure- but she also wanted to be useful, to protect Ashmedai, and to stand by Valentine and the pack because... because of love? Because she was supposed to? Esti really didn't know and she'd purse her lips in frustration, looking at the ground. She had to give an answer, right? So, then, why was is so hard?
The mood had been dampened and Esti wasn't sure if she was disappointed or thankful. Granted, she would still probably find someone else to do, but at least for now she could focus on business. She hoped. She knew she didn't want to heal, so she supposed the other answer was fighting. She liked fighting, sure, but she never considered herself good. She was big and scary and usually that was enough, but she knew she would have to get actually good to ascend the ranks. Esti looked towards Valentine, more focused than before, "Combat, then. A warrior. I'll protect the pack and those in it against whatever dumb ass that tries to threaten it." She tried to lighten the mood, but she wasn't sure she was feeling it. Esti shifted, "I'll fight and train, and surpass everyone else. Maybe with the exception of you or Cascade, but I'll be damned if I don't try." She bit her lip, her voice staying strong and her eyes locked on the stormy brute, her urges firmly held back for now.
