Chase Away The Demons
Walk | Talk | Think
Eventually her breathing did calm though her body continued to shake, little tremors and shutters that were entirely outside of her control. Resisting her body's natural response to curl up tightly and close her eyes was difficult and made her feel possibly even more awkward than giving in would have, but her stubbornness was strong and disliked the idea of crumbling under the weight of her problem when someone could see it. At least in this way the healer had something to take her mind off of what she had been seeing in her sleep. Her blue eyes remained fixed on Jakart where he lay across from her, continuing to war with herself on how she should feel about his part in all of this. He had said once already that he did not object to what they were doing, their convenient, physical relationship, but he was always there. Could he really just be trying to make himself available to her...or was there more to it than that?
No matter how she tried thinking about it, Callisto could not decide one way or the other, and he was not making matters any easier on her. He stayed at a distance for a while, to the point she had convinced herself he was going to follow what she suspected he thought she wanted from him, but to her surprise he began to move. Without a word of warning, Jak began to crawl closer to her, earning an even more pointed stare in his direction, and then scooted himself to lay at her side. At first she was reluctant, even rolled just enough so that her side did not touch his as he settled into place there next to her. The cat's warnings rang loudly within her mind - Don't lead on the poor kid! - but after a few more seconds of serious thought Calli relaxed and laid down, letting her side touch his. She had made it clear from the start what he should expect, or at least she thought she had. It was not going to be her job to protect any fragile hearts should feelings develop and get in the way. And what the hell, she had already caved in to his gentle comfort once; what was one more time, especially when she already knew what to expect?
She was sure he could feel the shaking of her body now if he had not noticed it before, but she made no attempt to hide it. Instead, she leaned further into him, as if trying to bring the steadiness of his body into her own so that she could be still too. Her head turned toward him, momentarily catching his eye, and his words stopped her before she could reach out and draw in a deeper breath of his scent. Talk about it? Was that what other wolves did, talked about their nightmares? She had never really had someone like that - perhaps she might have, once, but that relationship had been severed months ago - and honestly she did not know how one did it. Besides, what good was it going to do for her to say it all out in the open? It would change nothing, nor would it stop the dreams from coming back again. It was pointless.
But there was still an element of danger to the trip she had made north that lingered even now, and a thread of truth to the nightmare her mind had woven for her during her sleep. Maybe if Jakart knew, if he understood, he would be able to help her if her nightmares became reality again. "It's the same nightmare I used to have," she explained, lowering her gaze as her expression smoothed into something stoic and distant. "I haven't had it in a while, but I think going north triggered it again. I was searching for them, these two pups," - My pups, she thought, though they were never really mine at all - "in the forest beside the grounded ship. A snowstorm was setting in, and the wind was loud but I could hear them crying still." Even thinking of it, she could still hear the sound, faint but demanding and so pitiful, so helpless. "I needed to find them, but it got harder to see, harder to follow their cries. After a while I could feel someone watching me. Some thing hiding in the storm. He was following me. Hunting me."
Another shudder, stronger than the rest, raced through her body, and she took a second to collect herself before continuing. "Usually the dream stops there. This time, it didn't. Everything went dark. I couldn't see, but I knew he was there. We were inside the cavern again. Just like when it happened." The shaking and trembling of her body became stronger as she neared the end of her tale, remembering not so much the dream but the reality it was based on. It nearly stole her voice away, made her want to stop telling her story even though it was nearly done. They were not memories she wanted to revisit and relive. At odds with herself, half certain she would regret it as soon as she finished, Callisto continued her story at a whisper, the shaking of her body beginning to manifest itself in her voice. "I could feel his paws on me, pulling me to him. He had me. But when I woke up," she stated, at last lifting her gaze to meet his with a look that was some mixture of awe, disbelief, and wariness, "it was only you." She still did not know what to make of that fact, knew even less how the tale woven into her nightmare might be received by the one who had woken her from it. But as much to herself as to him, she ended on a quiet, whispered mutter, her gaze drifting away again, "It was just a nightmare."
