ardent

Bend until I break

Siren



Dalila

Loner

Master Fighter (240)

Master Healer (255)

An icon representing the specialty Defender Defender

age
7 Years
gender
Female
gems
0
size
Small
build
Balanced
posts
248
player

The Ooze ParticipantPride - Demisexual1K
08-26-2021, 10:38 AM

It had been a couple of days since she heard the news from Aliana that Chimera had set her free. Clearly even with that freedom she had chosen to stay with the massive brute, seemingly enjoying his company, but that hadn't really phased her. Ali was allowed to do whatever she wanted with her freedom and Dalila wouldn't fault her for that, but it was just the implication of it that kept her mind reeling. Chimera wasn't a kind or understanding man, at least not from her experience, and yet he had given Aliana the freedom to choose. That thought kept running through her mind day and night, stunning her and making her question and reevaluate everything she had felt these last several months. She quietly went about her work, only interacting with Siren when she had to in order to care for her, but otherwise she kept to herself, hiding away in various parts of the island she knew Siren didn't usually go to.

Eventually her nerves became too frayed and her exhaustion from not being able to sleep finally pushed her to the edge and she paused in the middle of their usual morning routine. She stopped in the middle of tending to Siren's luxurious fur, the practiced motions mostly mindless at this point. For a moment Dalila just stared at the comb she held before she finally sat it down, hear ears folding back uncertainly. She couldn't keep going on like this. It was going to kill her or break her and she wasn't entirely sure which was going to come first. "Chimera freed Aliana," she stated softly, unable to meet Siren's gaze. There were so many questions that she wanted answers to, so many things that she needed to understand, and she really didn't know where to start, but that was what tumbled past her lips first. "What am I to you? Do you want me to just be your servant..? I just... I can't do both any more. I can't be both. It... It hurts too much to know how much I love you and know that there's nothing I can do to have you be mine... It feels like I've given you everything and... and I've gotten nothing in return."

"Dalila"




You're not feeling so well...

Siren

Loner

Master Healer (250)

Master Intellectual (240)

An icon representing the specialty Professor Professor

age
7 Years
gender
Female
gems
774
size
Extra small
build
Light
posts
314
player
KatG6

The Ooze Participant
08-26-2021, 05:18 PM
Though Dalila kept up with their routine Siren had never felt more lonely than she did now. There were no more light talks, sweet smiles, or stolen kisses. Siren felt hollow and empty, but it was better than the pain she felt when she looked at Dal, when she felt her paws running through her long fur. Her heart ached everytime they were together, and yet she still had no idea what to say. Her sorrys were not near enough to bridge the gap between them now.

When Dalila was close Siren was always on the edge of tears, the emotions were right beneath the surface. She did well to keep it bottled up, fighting internally as they went through the motions, but the spirit was long gone. Suddenly Dalila paused. Siren’s heart jumped, hoping there was nothing wrong with.. Her once love. Silence fell between them, but before Siren could speak Dalila did. Chimera had freed Aliana.

Siren was stunned. Her mind returning to when the two of them had gone after the dainty woman for her brother. Did that mean Dal had to return to Chimera? With this terrible tension that lived between them Siren wouldn’t have put blame on Dalila if she had decided that was the direction she was going to go. Dalila spoke softly, reaching a breaking point again, they were ignoring the elephant in the room for so long. This was the inevitable moment.

"My partner,” she answered softly, not able to bring her dual toned gaze to meet Dal’s soft slate eyes. She had considered Dalila free from the moment they gave Chimera Aliana, but maybe she had never been clear. In her heart Dalila was already a free woman. "I… nothing?” That hurt the worst, that Dalila felt like Siren had given her nothing, but maybe she was right. She didn’t have gifts to shower her, she was no real princess and couldn’t bestow a rank. Siren hadn’t even promised her all of herself. Dal had a right to feel slighted as Siren thought about their relationship

"Dalila, I.. want…” That was the problem wasn’t it, she was being selfish, she was being selfish through their whole relationship. "You were free the moment Chimera took Aliana in exchange. I don’t.. I never wanted to force you into anything. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Her eyes stung and her throat tightened as she swallowed back her tears and tried to steal herself through the deep pain in her chest.

"Siren Primrose Klein"





Dalila

Loner

Master Fighter (240)

Master Healer (255)

An icon representing the specialty Defender Defender

age
7 Years
gender
Female
gems
0
size
Small
build
Balanced
posts
248
player

The Ooze ParticipantPride - Demisexual1K
08-26-2021, 07:01 PM

Dalila's ears flicked back and her brows pulled together as Siren immediately replied that she saw her as her partner at the question of what she was to her, wondering to herself how that could possibly be true. In her mind, partners felt like they were supposed to be equal or at least over lapping in their care for one another and how much they did for each other. Even though she had loved Siren and Siren had seemingly reciprocated that love, she had never felt even close to equal with Siren. She didn't expect herself to suddenly reach the level of a princess like Siren, but she doubted that someone that was considered a partner would be expected to take care of their every little need. Of course she knew she was partially to blame for how their relationship had been. She was blinded by love, unable and unwilling to see the imbalance of things between them. Just being cared for by someone for the first time in her life and by someone like Siren no less had been enough. She liked having a job to do and taking care of Siren had made her happy, but as the scales tipped from friendship to love she had begun to feel as if it was supposed to be more than it was and she felt foolish for assuming things that weren't there.

She glanced up at Siren for the first time when she began to speak about how she had been free ever since they exchanged her for Ali. She looked at Siren with disbelief at the statement, listening as she was told how she was never forced into anything and listened to Siren's apologies. "But you... You never said..." But had she ever asked? She had been too indebted to Siren for everything she had given to buy Aliana and for how she had stood up for her to Chimera to even look past her own love and devotion. She turned her gaze away again, her conflicted emotions playing across her face. "I don't want you to feel like you have to free me just because I brought it up. If... If you want me to be your servant then that's what I can be I just... I can't be both." Her being free wasn't even the biggest problem. That was just a side effect of her conversation with Aliana, a point of contention that she hadn't even considered.

What Siren had done and what she had allowed was what hurt her most. "I... I just..." Her jaw tightened, looking down at her paws as she tried to keep herself together and keep herself from crying as she fought through her emotions to finally put it into words no matter how much it hurt. It was a conversation that had to happen and should have happened long before it got to this point. "I thought that you loved me... I thought that we were in a relationship..." She gave a little shake of her head, her eyes squeezing closed to keep the tears that threatened to spill out of them at bay. "I know I'm not good enough for you. You're beautiful and a princess and I'm just... But I can't have you, can I? I can't have you to myself... Every time I see you with Chimera and now this with this other man and these pups you want to keep I..." It hurt. It all hurt. "It's my fault for thinking that we were more than we were, I... I should have asked, I just..." she added softly, resigning herself to the fact that the idyllic picture she had of them was false.

"Dalila"




You're not feeling so well...

Siren

Loner

Master Healer (250)

Master Intellectual (240)

An icon representing the specialty Professor Professor

age
7 Years
gender
Female
gems
774
size
Extra small
build
Light
posts
314
player
KatG6

The Ooze Participant
08-27-2021, 05:13 PM
"You’re already free, there is no decision to make.” Siren offered back weakly, risking a glance towards Dalila’s features. She didn’t want to see the hurt and the pain that resided there. "I want you to choose what you want to be.” Siren told her softly, lowering her dual toned eyes again. She didn’t know about anything anymore; she questioned her decisions and actions daily, but her conviction held true. That didn’t help her heart from breaking every minute they spent together.

Siren thought for a moment that was it, the end of everything between them. Dal would turn and go on her way and Siren would be left here. Dalila went on instead of falling silent. "I do, I do love you.” She whispered in interjection but that was hardly the core of the issue. Siren wanted to sink into the ground and disappear. Chimera was a special case, he was her King. He would always command a special reverence, an unbreakable bond with her after everything the two of them had been through.

The other man wasn't simply a man, the river god had chosen her. There wasn’t any argument against the spirits, she accepted the task given to her. Despite every consequence including mixing parentage. Hurting Dalila was the worst part. She explained that she wanted her to herself, that she wasn’t good enough and that feeling was too much to overcome. Siren did little to assuage those feelings either. Like Dalila said, the Klein princess had given her nothing in return for everything. She didn’t want to offer excuses and wouldn’t, but tried to think about what being in a relationship meant to her. Like this was the first time she had ever considered being completely committed to the she wolf before her.

"I want what you want, Dalila. I’m sorry, I’ve been so wretched and spoiled. And blind.” Venom and Plague both had long term partners, and she couldn’t believe either of them were open in that relationship. Then she had Chimera and their mother, neither of which could be considered loyal to one wolf. "I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”

"Siren Primrose Klein"





Dalila

Loner

Master Fighter (240)

Master Healer (255)

An icon representing the specialty Defender Defender

age
7 Years
gender
Female
gems
0
size
Small
build
Balanced
posts
248
player

The Ooze ParticipantPride - Demisexual1K
08-27-2021, 08:30 PM

It felt like the world was spinning around her even more than it had been the day that she had found Siren on the beach. Free. She couldn't really even comprehend what that word meant or what she could do with it. The only time she had been given a slight taste of freedom she had spiraled out of control and had landed herself in the paws of slavers. Not having a focus derailed her. Granted, she was in a far better place now than she had been right after her former pack was destroyed and slain, but she couldn't completely rule out the possibility that she might fall back into the same fate that she had back then if left to her own devices.

Her chest ached as Siren insisted that she loved her and as much as it hurt she couldn't call Siren a liar. Siren loved deeply, but unlike Dalila her love wasn't singular. She loved her, she loved Chimera, and if there was already two wolves that she loved who was to say that she couldn't love more? It was just a concept that Dalila hadn't been prepared for and hadn't considered when she fell in love with her princess. She hadn't been prepared to be one of many, to have to share the woman she loved with others. She hadn't been prepared or looking for love at all, but it had fallen into her lap and she was now dealing with those consequences.

"No, I... I don't think you actually do want what I want," she said softly, shifting her gaze up to Siren's with a tired sadness that felt like it might pull her down to the ground with its weight. "I want you and only you. I want you to myself. That's not what you want. That's okay, I just..." Was it okay? Was she able to conform to that? Was that better or worse than giving up Siren entirely? It wasn't something she could decide or accept right now. It was all too much and it all hurt more than she really knew how to process. Even though their relationship had never been set in stone and no boundaries had ever been decided it still felt as if she had been cheated on. She still felt betrayed and slighted and she had to decide if that was something she could forgive and forget.

Dalila's ears flicked back as she gazed down at Siren uncertainly for a long moment before sighing softly and leaning her head down to give her cheek a soft kiss. "I want to keep taking care of you. You've been my only friend, I... I don't want to lose that. I just need some time to figure out if I can be anything more than that again. I still love you, it just... it just hurts to much right now." She rose to her paws then, standing as she took a step back from Siren. "I'm going to go take a walk... I need to go think for a while." She turned to go leave the den, but before she stepped outside she paused, another question weighing on her that she still didn't know the answer two. Looking back toward Siren, she asking quietly, "If you are pregnant... what are you going to tell Chimera?"

"Dalila"




You're not feeling so well...

Siren

Loner

Master Healer (250)

Master Intellectual (240)

An icon representing the specialty Professor Professor

age
7 Years
gender
Female
gems
774
size
Extra small
build
Light
posts
314
player
KatG6

The Ooze Participant
08-29-2021, 03:57 AM
She’d never really thought about having a partner in her life, never imagined herself marrying or devoting herself to one wolf. Siren loved Dalila, but could her adoration for Chimera be tamped down? Could she ignore his affection and the desire that lingered behind his good eye? She didn’t think so, and Dalila knew the truth. She called her out on it, correcting her statement, that she didn’t actually want what Dal wanted. She said ‘that’s okay’ but was it really? Siren was hurting Dalila but she couldn’t change her nature. She couldn’t control Chimera, but she could control herself. If Dal gave her a straight ultimatum what would she do? Could she defy Chi? Would she feel content giving herself fully to the mottled woman? Siren wasn’t sure. "You’re right. I’m sorry.” She felt like a snivelling mess.

Siren didn’t take back what she said, she didn’t want to hurt Dalila anymore. If that meant they had to go their separate ways Siren knew she would be devastated. She wanted what was best for Dalila, but she was still selfish inside and couldn’t bring herself to change her views. She really didn’t deserve Dal’s loyalty and at the back of her mind she hoped that she could trust her once love.

Surprised crossed her features as Dalila leaned forward and kissed her cheek. That gesture gave her more hope than it really should have. "I’m sorry,” she whispered again, but apologies were cheap and actions were hard. "I don’t want to lose you, but I don’t want to keep hurting you.” Dalila backed away, needing her space and a walk, but she lingered with one more question. Siren looked away, ashamed of her decision, reluctant to say it because she knew she would do again what she wanted so badly to stop. "He’s going to believe that they are his.” She whispered quietly, averting her gaze unwilling to see the emotions that spread over Dal’s features.

"Siren Primrose Klein"





Dalila

Loner

Master Fighter (240)

Master Healer (255)

An icon representing the specialty Defender Defender

age
7 Years
gender
Female
gems
0
size
Small
build
Balanced
posts
248
player

The Ooze ParticipantPride - Demisexual1K
08-29-2021, 10:44 AM

Dalila watched as Siren turned her gaze away again before answering her last question. Chimera would think they were his. Confusion flickered across her face for just a moment before she put the pieces of the puzzle together and hurt understanding settled on her features. Chimera wasn't a dumb man. Violent and unstable perhaps, but not dumb. Siren wouldn't be able to make that claim to him and have him believe it if they hadn't slept together as well. "I see," she said softly, turning her gaze toward the floor of the den for a moment. Somehow her being like that with Chimera was less shocking than hearing about the stranger off of the island that had possibly given her these pups. She knew the two of them were close and affectionate so it didn't seem like much of a stretch. However, it did cement the fact that she would never be able to have Siren to herself. Siren would always chose Chimera and that was a fact she was going to have to accept.

She turned and quietly left the den, unable to form any more words for her mistress... or former mistress if her freedom was to be believed. She walked without a real destination in mind, wandering through the island in a daze as her mind worked through this new reality she found herself in. At some point she found her way to the beach and she just continued to walk, following the edge of the island and occasionally eyeing the opposite shore and wondering if she should just swim across and at least try to leave. She wasn't sure if she could be happy here again, not with the knowledge she had now. At one point in her life happiness had been a foreign concept and one that wasn't necessary for her. She had been content simply living as a servant. Now that she had experienced happiness and love it was hard to revert back to what she had once known so well and that was perhaps the hardest part of all.

"Dalila"