Spring. Ashmedai was three seasons now. He was old enough to go out on his own for a little. Even still, Esti waited up for the boy- for her boy. His own scent was changing, his appearance was changing. The boy was becoming lanky and angular, his markings becoming more defined. He smelled like new lands and new wolves and less and less like their own den. Esti knew that it was normal, well, more normal than her childhood anyway, but she still worried. The mother had finally felt used to being always occupied by her pup. She didn't know how to handle her time anymore. Who was she if she wasn't Ashmedai's mother? She hadn't made a place in the pack and she didn't feel special in any form, but she knew she could be- would be- better than the others in the pack. She was bigger and bitchier and she was willing to claw herself to the top, even if it just gave her a place to be and something to do, it would be worthwhile. If she could be worth something, even if it was just by rank, she would be happy. The problem was that she had never been in a pack and didn't know how to actually get a rank. Who better to ask about that then Valentine Imperialis himself. Her lover, but not her love (or so she told herself), but also a brute she loved, but also... well, it was a little complicated, but Esti didn't mind. She wanted to impress him. She wanted to stand strongly by his side. Esti wanted these things, but she also wanted to stand by the pack and to impress the pack. She had a desire for power, though she didn't have the drive to lead a pack like she had when she was younger. Ashmedai surely had inherited that. Esti knew that she wasn't going to get anywhere if she didn't even know how ranks really worked. Swallowing her pride, the woman called out to Valentine, hoping he wouldn't judge her too harshly for not knowing how to do the rank thing. "Speech"

The smell of heat assaulted his nostrils as he answered the call. It elicited a visceral reaction from him, one he had to stomp on repeatedly to contain. The smell was familiar and intoxicating, and it filled him with an instinctual need that would, in most cases, be impolite for him to make known. It didn't help that Valentine wasn't entirely sure where he stood with Esti. She was an odd mix of standoffish and flirty, and he didn't know whether or not he should keep his distance half the time. There was a line somewhere and he was hesitant to cross it. He enjoyed her company and he enjoyed flirting with her, but her standoffish ways made real love feel impossible. Slowing to a halt before her, Valentine casually studied her face as he said, "Esti? Is everything alright?" Their last talk was on his mind. He was hoping she'd found happiness or at least contentment since then. ""

As always, the brute came. Never had she called without his answer. Something about that just felt good. He was reliable and always there and something about him made her feel safe, but that wasn't important right now. She called him as an alpha- as her alpha. Valentine approached in his own stoic type of way and Esti watched him closely. It felt like a while since it had just been the two of them. Esti resisted making any bold movements, though the warmth under her skin and the speed of her heart said otherwise. It suddenly hit Esti- she was in heat. Of course she had known she was in heat, she had just... kinda... forgotten when she was thinking about trying to get a rank. Esti found herself standing a bit rigidly as her eyes narrowed at the brute. Last time this happened, they happened, then Ashmedai happened. Esti wasn't sure if she wanted to do that again... maybe ever. Valentine asked if everything was alright, calling her by name. Maybe it was the heat, but Esti returned his greeting with a voice a little too sultry for the meeting, "Valentine," Quickly Esti coughed, "Yes. Good. Business. I called on business, Valentine." she said roughly, her eyes avoiding the male's body, "Just business not, um, you know, because, um, you know. I'm on the herbs Cascade gave me, but, um, business." She sat firmly as if to assert her point, trying to soothe herself, "Buuuut, maybe next time?" she'd trail, trying to bring their conversation back to a form of normalcy. Figuring she just about ruined that, Esti moved on, looking Valentine right in the eye, "I want to get a rank, Valentine. Something meaningful, something that means something- means I mean something." She paused, her thoughts coming in all at once, "Not to you or anything, just in general. Like I'll work for it, you should expect that, but, um..." Her gaze trailed from Valentine's eyes, down his chest, to his legs and paws, "I don't actually... know how to do that?" her ears flattened because she knew it was a stupid question, "I'll fight anyone, train, do anything, but how does that all... work out?" "Speech"

His name rolled off her tongue in a way that suggested he was in for a very pleasant afternoon, but all too quickly she yanked that possibility out from under him. Business. Such a shame. Valentine steeled himself. Alright, alright. If she wanted to be all business then he'd be all business. Maybe. "Next time it is," he said jokingly with a grin. Ah, a rank, eh? Good, good. This pleased him. "It depends on the kind of rank you want," he said simply before offering a bit more detail, "If you want to be a warrior you'll have to prove yourself as a warrior. Likewise, if you want to be a healer you'll have to prove yourself worthy of the position. Same goes for all the ranks of Imperium." ""

Valentine didn't laugh, which was good. Esti didn't know what she would have done if he did. If it was anyone else, she would probably attack them, but with Valentine, she wasn't so sure. That fact bothered her. He explained some ranks in short, mentioning warriors and healers. Esti scoffed slightly at healers. With the exception of Cas, who was kind of only half a healer to begin with, they all seemed too meek and allowing. Esti would probably end up getting pissed off and making their wounds worse. The thought made her laugh a bit, "Okay, maybe not healing, then..." she'd mumble to herself. Valentine would explain that she would need to prove herself for a rank, as for any rank in Imperium. Esti nodded, her eyes trailing over the brute's lips as he spoke. Her thoughts wandered, only briefly, to other things, such as the fact that she was in heat and there was a large, fairly handsome brute right in front of her. In her mind, she imagined a few moments of what they could be doing before letting out a small, huffy sigh that brought her back to attention. Valentine had finished talking, but how long was that? Esti cleared her throat, her eyes refocusing on Valen's, "Yes, prove myself. Earn a rank." Her brow furrowed. Business, Esti, business! "Okay, then, a little more personally, which rank do you think is the most... worthwhile- uh, besides yours and Cascade's- and how can I- I mean how do I prove myself to you- I mean for the rank." Esti tried to stay focused, her lips pressing firmly together when she wasn't speaking. Her face was warm and it took a lot to stay seated, her tail twitching every so often in her determination to stay still. The whole meeting would be so much easier if she wanted a rank as much as she wanted him at the moment. "Speech"

She asked a difficult question. In all honesty he didn't have an answer for her. Only she knew what was best for her. She was aware of the ranks and if she was interested in earning one, she needed to pick it for herself. Esti wasn't doing anyone, herself included, a favor by asking him to tell her what was best for her. "That is an impossible question," he sighed in exasperation. He couldn't do the thinking for both of them. She needed to make this decision herself. "Only you can answer for you, since your definition of 'worthwhile' is different than mine. A better question is 'what do I, Esti, want to do?' Well, what do you want to do?" As for proving herself... "If the position is combat-oriented then you need to do combat related things. If it's healing related, do healing related things." ""

He said her question was impossible and her heart sank. He specified that she should ask what she wanted to do. She had to think for a while, her first thought being an exasperated "I don't know!" though she wouldn't word it. She didn't grow up in a world where you worked steadily for something like a rank. She always just did things kind of in the heat of the moment. The only consistent things she was able to do was run a fake pack and half raise a kid. Valentine specified things that she could do to prove herself in such ranks. Esti would stay quiet for a moment, trying her hardest to actually think of what she wanted to do in a pack. It felt like a really simple question that even pups could answer, but, for her, it felt like she needed a better understanding of the mechanics of a pack. She wanted power-sure- but she also wanted to be useful, to protect Ashmedai, and to stand by Valentine and the pack because... because of love? Because she was supposed to? Esti really didn't know and she'd purse her lips in frustration, looking at the ground. She had to give an answer, right? So, then, why was is so hard? The mood had been dampened and Esti wasn't sure if she was disappointed or thankful. Granted, she would still probably find someone else to do, but at least for now she could focus on business. She hoped. She knew she didn't want to heal, so she supposed the other answer was fighting. She liked fighting, sure, but she never considered herself good. She was big and scary and usually that was enough, but she knew she would have to get actually good to ascend the ranks. Esti looked towards Valentine, more focused than before, "Combat, then. A warrior. I'll protect the pack and those in it against whatever dumb ass that tries to threaten it." She tried to lighten the mood, but she wasn't sure she was feeling it. Esti shifted, "I'll fight and train, and surpass everyone else. Maybe with the exception of you or Cascade, but I'll be damned if I don't try." She bit her lip, her voice staying strong and her eyes locked on the stormy brute, her urges firmly held back for now. "Speech"