The colors of ebony strutted along a non-existent path. The dark tones of this creature could be spotted form miles away without a doubt. A large form he was, standing at 36 inches. four legs carried this animal, but one seemed dysfunctional. His front right paw showed sign of pain, sign of scarring. The limp his body lead him to do was not severe, but definitely noticeable. The brute stopped for a moment, picking up a new scent; but was it new? The scent was oddly familiar to him; most scents in this land were very familiar after all. A young dame sent him out here, thinking someone would know the old man; so Saix set out to find his lost memories. Closer to the borders he came, nose low to the ground still holding a limp that looked worse with his nostrils planted on the ground. Scars became noticeable to any wolves that were close to the borders, if there were any at all. Few marks were on his rump, few on his legs, and a large scar stroked down his face just missing his eye and around him maw. It was as if he went through a battle field; no, worse. It looked as though he was attacked by cougars and left to bleed out leaving deep penetrating marks all over the ebony's body. The brute stopped in his tracks, knowing territory was only a few steps away. He closed his eyes for only a moment. Whatever you come across, do not step foot into territory. The words of the young female that helped him shouted in his head, so he did only what his instinct lead him to do. Standing tall, he looked around for a sign of life, but the existence was absent. So he lifted his maw up to the skies, and let out a cry for help with little dignity. His head dropped and he attempted to stand straight, but his leg gave out on him and he fell to his chest. He immediately reacted to his loss of balance and picked himself back up but then refused to put pressure back on that foot. The brute waited, his ghostly-ice eyes searching for an approach, the eyes that once Saix had were faded and lost. They were filled with agony, but why was that? The brute wondered, after nine years of life, how could he remember only the last two? "Talk"

The way she was acting, honestly it was quite pitiful. How was one supposed to act when her mate and children had died so brutally? She should have gotten over it. Moved on to a new male. There were plenty of them in Glaciem. Many handsome ones that she surely could have lured in with her good looks. She wasn't the most feminine looking creature, but she did have a beautiful eye-catching coat. Unfortunately every memory replayed in her head. She couldn't decide if Garnet's death or Cryptic's death was the worst out of her kids. Garnet had been killed by the jaws of her mate and Cryptic had starved herself and gotten sick from depression. She didn't last long. She herself was thin looking and rather sickly. She only ate to appease the rest of her family and even then she never ate much. Most of her time was spent wandering around aimlessly or resting in her den. A hollow look had overtaken her features. In reality she looked pathetic, but who wouldn't? This day was spent like all the others. She wandered alone kicking up snow as she trudged through it. Her pace was dreadfully slow and her tail hung limply behind her. Head pointed to the ground and eyes dropped to look at the snow as she walked. She almost didn't hear that painfully familiar cry for help that she remembered so well. Her head lifted up and a surprised look overtook the depressed one. Blue eyes flecked with green widened and her legs took a mind of her own and propelled her body towards that other blackened wolf at alarming speed for one so sick looking. She slowed as she he came into view. Her heart began to beat painfully fast and yet where she should have felt happiness, she only felt misery and anguish. It was destroying her to see him rather than building her. Just when she'd begun to progress forward she was being drug backwards again at just the mere sight of him. He was a wreck. He looked as though he'd been mauled a few times and then drug through the dirt for good measure. Nothing like the glorious warrior she once knew. She stopped a good distance away unwilling to get any closer. Hollow eyes looked at him painfully as she forced the lump in her throat to disappear. Her voice was emotionless and a bit choked as she spoke. "Why have you returned?" The words were harsh sounding and had a bite to them unlike her usual chirpy tones. Very much unlike the real Arcane. Then again that female was long gone and replaced by a whole new wolf. Speech,

Very close behind his call a young grey female came rushing to the border. She stopped farther away than Saix was to the border, but close enough for their words to be heard. The dame looked shocked, she looked surprised. Her stomach was thin and her body was empty. Those eyes looked scarred, they were destroyed. Those beautiful eyes that seemed so familiar to him, were destroyed. But he did not pity the female, not even feel for her. But there was something inside that wanted to help her, wanted to console her. Saix looked into the green speckled eyes even from the far distance, and her voice cracked and crumbled to the little words she spoke. It tore him up inside, and he felt that pain and pity for her. It tore him up, it made him want to she'd tears for her. His eyes looked painfully into hers for a little longer after she spoke, but he came back to reality and notices he did not know this dame. "Well miss..." Saix's voice had not changed since then, but his appearance and his mind were way off into nowhere. "I've come to find out if I belonged here.. I lost my memory and a young female told me to come here. The scent seems familiar to me." Saix have a small smirk out of his maw to comfort the dame. "So do you know who I am miss?" his head crooked to the side an he kept his smile. It was promising he was from Glaciem so he took one step towards the borders, but did not cross it. It did not cross his mind that he had a mate back then, but if he knew that this grey female wolf in front of him had a mental and sexual relationship with him, if he knew that she bared his own pups, he would have broke. If Arcane knew that he had other relations with the young dame that helped him, it would kill her. But Saix didn't know her, so what would be the problem? "Talk"

Baby blue hues stared into those neon eyes painfully as he returned her look. He seemed to want to be sympathetic. Those eyes seemed to be searching for something, but it was completely obvious that he didn't recognize her from the way he acted. It felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest with an icy metal claw. It was like losing him and her children all over again. The disease had completely taken over and he didn't remember his past at all. It opened so many doors. What could she say to him? How should she react to him? Her decision wasn't an easy one and it made her bitter inside. In her eyes though it was for the best. He only had roughly a year left to live. If he joined Glaciem then she didn't want to lose him for a third time. It was a selfish decision. One that would haunt her for the rest of her days. If he ever regained his memory he would probably hate her, but she couldn't bear it. A cold and stoic expression overtook her visage as she looked up at him as if nothing was wrong. All she had to do was answer his question, call for Gargoyle, then leave. That's all she had to do. She could do it. She had to. "I myself only know you vaguely sir. I remember you used to be a brave in our old lands. But yes, you were once a part of us, so you are familiar. I will call for my Alpha and you guys may discuss it over." She stepped backwards and raised her gray head to the sky and attempted to keep the distress out of her voice as she called for Gargoyle or Crusade. She preferred it if Crusade came because she would know more of her anguish and why she was making this decision, but Gargoyle would understand her pain just as much. One of the two would work just fine. For now she'd sit back and wait. Speech,

The female spoke and said that she valley knew him, she only knew he was a brave on the old territory of alacritis. Saix's smile ripped off his face and he looked at Arcane with the eyes of agony, almost those of death. "You know who I am?" His eyes widened and he jumped into the Glaciem border, "Please, tell me who I am I need to know!" the brute had been so hungry for his past, so hungry for the memories he had lost. He hungered for the wolf he had lost inside him. He made a fast walk, limping over to the female that had spoke to him. He was now face to face with her, his nose only a foot from hers. "What happened to me? Why can't I remember anything? I need to know who I am!" the strong and stable man that Saix tried to portray crumbled and he fell to his knees. His neon blue eyes rose up to Arcane despair rushing through his entire body. "Please,"He cried, "Tell me." his eyes were only watered but not a tear moved down his face, an he prayed and he hoped that the girl could answer his questions. "Talk"

{Mature for language]

The smile faded from his face and his eyes widened and looked agonizingly painful. She'd made the mistake of even pretending to faintly know him. Of course things had to be complicated. Nothing had ever been easy for her before, why should they now? She stood like a deer frozen in headlights as he limped over to her barely a foot away. He pleaded with her. It wrenched at her heart and it made her soul bleed for him. Her lip quivered and she began to lose the composure she so desperately wanted to keep. Why couldn't she be cold like the other wolves who'd been screwed over in life? Why wouldn't she just say fuck it and just leave? Why did she have to be such a major ball of emotions? She hated it. Oh how she fucking hated it! He fell to his knees at her feet and she broke down completely. The water in his electric blue eyes was enough to make her break. She couldn't ignore him, she couldn't answer him, she couldn't do anything but begin to back away slowly only to freeze in her tracks once she'd gotten two steps away. Tears began to leak from her eyes and stain the mottled gray coat. She couldn't take the heartache. Where was Crusade or Gargoyle when she needed them? Speech,

Please ignore this post :x

~*~ (ooc: still a little fuzzy on how you guys are coordinating the history stuffs, so I?m just going by what I?d last seen in posts. If I need to edit anything, just lemme know) Nine might?ve been considered as the end for most wolves, but reaching that grand age hadn?t put too much of a slip in Crusade?s step. Maybe it was due to the fact she?d kept herself in peak condition all her life, maybe it was the share of dog?s blood in her veins, but whatever the cause, when the mood took her, the pale timber wolf could move. On this bright day, Crusade had sent herself streaking across the southern snowfields, blazing a trail towards the border. Her forelegs might?ve been scarred and missing a set of claws, but they could still plow through snow. Her tongue, the exact same pink as her empty right eye socket, lulled out as her pants sent little warm clouds up into the frozen air. She was racing the northern winds that rifled through her fur. What a difference it was; this relaxation with which she could stride the lands when compared with the old burdon of always having to be on guard. Never would Crusade say that she preferred it? no she couldn?t say that. No matter the toll it took on one?s body and spirit, the path of a warrior was one she?d always be fiercely proud of having taken. But this?ease, this peace which she?d earned? it was quite lovely. For one whose soul and form had felt so much pain over the years, it was a great release. And yet it wasn?t paradise, for there were still many other wrongs in the world, many other wolves in pain. One such creature was her own sister. Poor Arcane? Crusade had been there the day her pups had been born? and the day they?d each been lost. Crusade knew from personal experience the sharp, unending slice to the heart that was a mother?s pain of loosing a child. Animi? the lavender eyed, grey child that Crusade had adopted in Starlite had been ripped from her life by the murderous cretan known as Xy. But Arcane? first one pup lost as a stillborn?then another to disease?.and then?.and then. It was terrible to even remember. It was one of the many shreds of time with Crusade wished could just be purged from all history. Saix? A male whom Crusade had allowed into her home. The male who?d proved a loyal warrior and taken Arcane to be his mate. Saix, the father of the pups?. Had lost his mind and slaughtered his remaining child. After that?there?d been a brief shred of sanity in him ? enough for the male to realize what he?d done. The Glaciems had trailed his scent to the cliff?straight to the end of it and then it was gone. In a way, Crusade had seen it as a mercy. For what would they have done with him otherwise? It was a question that plagued her for many a night afterwards. She?d done her best by Arcane, but speaking with her was so terribly hard. She understood a portion of the pain, but that was all. In Crusade?s own case, when she?d lost her daughter, the best anyone could do for her, was give her time and space and understanding ? and to carry on with their duties, letting the rest of life seem as steady as possible. Unfortunately that was all anyone could do. It wasn?t until years later that Xy was found ? in fact it happened just about the same time that Arcane lost her pups. Perhaps that had helped fuel Crusade?s fury. In the end she?d destroyed the monster and brought his head back home. So much happened to Glaciem in that season: between Saix, Oberon?s attack at the border, Xy?s defeat? and then the volcanic eruption. After that they?d all been so busy?escaping the ash, rock and gas, migrating, finding a new home, settling it?. Crusade had kept an eye on her broken younger sister through it all, but so far there seemed no real marks of recovery? just a shell carrying on with her duties. So it was that when Arcane?s howl came tearing through the winter sky, Crusade skid to a halt, took her bearings and changed direction. She was still a good distance away ? having been headed to a very different section of the southern border, but eventually she managed to climb the lip of the hill which Arcane had called from. And damned if Crusade?s remaining eye didn?t nearly pop out of its socket. A heart attack tore a white line of pain through her form. A hulking black wolf with blue eyes. Crusade?s muzzle parted and twitched into a contortion of a snarl. Xy was DEAD! She?d felt his last breath?s shake his body as her fangs buried deeper into his throat! She?d gnawed off his head! And then she was given another a heartbeat of looking. No this wasn?t Xy. But it was another wolf who she knew. She?d mistaken him for Xy once before. A wolf who?d reaked almost as much pain as the murderer he resembled. A wolf who was also supposed to be dead. ?Creator Above?? Crusade gasped out through strangled lungs. ?It?s?Saix.? She looked back and forth between her sister and the living dead, but more words wouldn?t come. This wasn?t possible?. The once Chief stepped stiffly forward, her hackles raised, her tail swinging out behind her. Her paces carried her swiftly to stand half in front, half beside her sister. Her remaining eye blazed, but yet her features remained befuddled and her tongue remained trapped inside her jaws. ? until she drew in another deep lungful of the freezing air. ?What are you doing here?? she asked in a deep, low whisper. ~*~

(OOC: @ CLASH :: Basically Arcane is in tears and Saix is kind of watery eyed. Arcane tried to annoy the fact that Saix was her old mate, but he broke her. Also sorry for the kind of crappy post :x) She walked backwards swiftly, as if she were afraid. No she wasn't afraid, she was hurt. Something was killing her on the inside. It was destroying her and she couldn't take it anymore. Saix watched her move, watched her move back, watched the tears come off her face. They dropped to the ice and snow only melting little droplets of the surface. Saix looked at her in awe, his maw opened a bit as his eyes watched her back away. He blinked the orbs of neon and moved his chin to the ground. The reflected color of his eyes left as the tear ran down his fur and fell to the ground. He pushed himself off the ground and stood with his nose pointing to the ground and his eyes remained closed. He couldn't describe the feelings inside him. He didn't know what was going on between his feelings and his mind. His mind told him this girl was a stranger. But his heart told him otherwise. His heart ached for her, it needed her. What is going on. Saix's nose remained pointed at the ground. He didn't hear the other wolf approach the two, but once she spoke he gave no reaction. His orbs stayed hidden and he didn't want to move even a muscle. The brute was confused with all kinds of emotions inside him. He needed to know what he was missing. Both of these females knew who he was, but not either of them his mind even struck a flag. "I'm sorry but..." Saix lifted his head up to the multi-Colored wolf opening his watery neon eyes and continuing to talk. "I don't inderstand anything that is going on right now." His expression was now troubled, but he stood in the same position with his head lowered looking up at the large female. "So if you could please tell me, why are both of you so shocked to see me?" (OOC: Posting order is now "Saix-Arcane-Crusade") "Talk"

An ear flicked backwards as she heard pawsteps and she glanced sideways to see her sister arriving upon the seen. She seemed as shocked as she had been to see the brute. He was supposed to be dead. Over a cliff with broken bones and not a breath left in his lungs. He had killed himself. Yet here he was standing before them begging and pleading for her to tell him his past. A past he wouldn't want to know and one Arcane had no interest in reliving again. Crusade's voice came out at first in a gasp and then turned into an odd whisper. Ears pinned themselves against her skull and her tail tucked in towards her stomach as she slowly inched away from him. Her form hunched over as she halfway cowered and moved towards her sister pressing a shoulder to her own for her own comfort and maybe for the comfort of Crusade. He wanted to know why they were so shocked to see him. Well she'd tell him. All kinds of fury and rage coursed through her. Along with pain and misery at what he'd done. "Lets see, you used to be a part of our pack. You became my mate and we had kids. Then you went crazy, killed one, and then threw yourself off the cliff. The last one missed her sister so bad that she starved herself and died of disease and lack of food!" She snapped at him through her sobbing and her tears. It was reliving it all over again, but she did want him to feel the pain of what he'd done. It was wrong, she had loved him so much, but he deserved to at least die knowing of the sins he'd done. It was wrong, but she couldn't hide it. She just couldn't. Speech,

~*~ His words... he didn't know? Didn't remember? At first Crusade couldn't believe it... but slowly, gazing into those eyes and analyzing his words, she couldn't do anything but believe. After all, amnesia and the tricks it plays on the mind, they weren't new things to Crusade. Her father had had them for a time, after an accident also involving a cliff. It had been a very dangerous turn of events considering who he was once in his past. Yet he'd pulled through. They'd all pulled him through and he'd remembered the family he'd built. But this was different. If Saix were to remember the past, all he'd see is the family he'd destroyed. What a curse. What a terrible, terrible curse... And poor Arcane; Crusade felt her shudder against her. Yet before Crusade could think to put some sort of words together, her dark pelted sister was pouring out her grievances - the tragedy she'd had to trudge through (it couldn't be called living) for so long. "Arcane-" Crusade tried to say, but it was too late. The truth had been told. There'd be no easy breaking of the news, no slow, painful working through remembrance. The horrid tale was hung out now, and whether the male believed Arcane's words or not, they were going to be terrible to hear. Crusade pressed her frame into her sister's. What else could she do? ~*~

Arcane's words struck Saix, something he should have been expecting but not even a thought like that went through his mind. He never thought of having a mate bak then, before he lost his memory. An him killing his own child? What possessed him? The gentle old man would never hurt anyone of his kind. But since the grey female had tears running down her face. And that little deep spot in his heart cried for her, he knew that something about her made him feel this way. But Saix did not know the female, and nothing made him believe she was telling the truth. And as the words escaped his maw, they were spilled with despair. He moved his head up just a bit and looked into Arcane's eyes if she allowed it as her sister comforted her. "If you hate me as much as your voice describes, if I ruined your life as much as it says, then take my life to repay my sins." And there were no tears from the brute anymore. His neon blue eyes traveled to girls sister, and he said with a soft tone, "Do you want me back in Glaciem?" The old man was disabled, it was clear that he would die within the season. An his injuries made it so much worse, it was a surprise that he was still breathing. Considering he leaped off a cliff and was still moving was even hard to think he was alive. So if the dame he spoke to told him no, the only thing he could do was limp on back to wear he came from until his age made him collapse and die. He was getting weaker by the minute, and if the dame accepted him back, he would be good for nothing. He could just lay in his den all day alone, without a partner. He couldn't hunt, he couldn't fight, he couldn't run and play with the young because of his injuries. And he couldn't even have them sit around and listen to the "wise old man's" stories because he had no memory. He was useless to everyone. "TALK"

Her sister's low warning had been ignored, yet she couldn't help but find some solace in Crusade's frame pressing against her own. She'd lost her own family due to tragic experiences, yet she always knew she had her siblings to help her through it all. It made things just a bit more bearable, not much, but enough to get her through her losses. It was hardly living though. She missed her children more than anything and she knew Crusade understood the pain. Animi had been her own child, and the monster Xylinthian had decapitated her. It was a cruel way to go and her sister had been scarred by her death. She certainly knew Crusade felt every bit of her pain that she did. A darkened head raised up towards her and his voice was filled with despair as he tried to look into her own cerulean gaze. She didn't give him the satisfaction of doing so. She couldn't look him in the eyes. The girl looked shamefully away, breaking the eye contact he so desperately wanted. She couldn't meet eyes with him. It would break any last part of her that was sane. She hadn't expected any of it, nor wanted it. She wasn't happy living in her silence, but at least she'd been making maybe a little bit of progress towards getting better, at least for the sake of her siblings and for the betterment of the pack. She had to pull her own weight, she eventually needed to get back to doing that. It seemed as though he'd stopped crying. Her own tears had begun to dry on her face as she came to a cold unfeeling towards the whole situation. It was her way of dealing with the whole situation without breaking down completely. His words shocked her very core, but her visage remained unreadable as she refused to meet his gaze. Did she wish death upon the male? Should he have died after he'd killed Garnet? Surely he should have, but it was beyond her to wish such a horrible fate upon anyone. He'd survived for a reason. Perhaps it was so he could start anew. Or perhaps it was so he could wind up here and suffer from knowing the crimes he had committed, but never actually remembered doing. Regardless, she couldn't end his life. It wasn't her job, nor could she kill a man she had once loved. He was almost defenseless now, and it would be pointless. He was old, just as her sister was, and he couldn't have much life left in him. She would leave him in peace. "I have no right to sentence you to such a fate. It's Death's job to claim your soul, not mine. It would hardly make up for the things you've done." "And I don't hate you." She couldn't bring herself to say the words, so she stayed silent. She truly didn't hate him, she reacted the way she had simply because she could no longer contain the pain she'd welled up inside. She couldn't keep it to herself any longer. Her grieving process was far from over, but things always got worse before they got better. Speech,

~*~ Sometimes Tragedy was unavoidable. As was the aftermath. Crusade could do nothing to ease the pain of either of the wolves before her. She had to stand and what as they broken hearts became open to one another. It was enough to big tears to her eyes. Well eye and eye socket - even though Xy had ripped out her right orb, the tear ducts remained somehow intact. When Crusade blinked, she found the cheek fur on both sides of her face damp with fallen sympathy. It was too much to take in. Saix was, to some extent believing what Arcane said - or at least allowing himself to be hurt by her words. What they said to eachother... it curled her stomach into a knot. Death and Loss and Revenge. And Crusade could do nothing but stand and watch. Yet Saix did turn to her. He asked her a question that set her mind at work. Would she allow him back into Glaciem. "Death claims us all in the end," Crusade murmured. "But some ends are closer than others." She looked Saix over carefully. She'd been lucky with her own aging. She was old, but she was still fit and hunt-ready. Not all canines could lay claim to so many years of health. Most, when they reached Saix's age, were about ready to submit to the next world. To Crusade, it was clear Saix was not long for this life. And it was completely against her grain to allow a wolf she'd once called packmate to die alone and unburied somewhere in the wilds. "Saix... for what time you have left, you may tarry in Glaciem. A separate den can be dug for you, and-" "-and Arcane may choose to visit it or, keep her distance." such were her thoughts, but she did not wish to voice them. There was enough pain in the air. She didn't need to point things out. "However, my word is no longer law here. I must speak with Gargoyle." Her ears bent back a touch. Heaven only knew what he would think. And Arcane-! Crusade turned her head so that she could fix her good eye upon her sister. Would she stay by Crusade's side as things were dealt with? Or would she rather be alone now? The pale Timber cross could make no guesses even at the immediate future. This was all beyond the coping abilities of most wolves. ~*~

(OOC: Sorry for the short reply, just trying to get this over with.) His head nodded gently to the white and brown female. So she was an Alpha in his time here. His voice was only focused on her since the Grey female obviously didn't want to talk to him. "Well talk to your Alpha and let me know." His limping footsteps under a short stride hobbled to the other side of Arcane. His head lifted and he looked away from here, their shoulders were lined but stayed about 2 feet from each other. He took a breath before continuing to speak, this time to the grey girl. "I hope you can forgive me someday." His voice stayed low, like he didn't want the other to know what he was saying. And then he put his head back down and headed off to work on a den somewhere. His stride was larger and made his limp more noticeable, but he continued on his mission anyway. [EXIT SAIX] WALK "TALK" Think