Laoch trotted quickly through the trees that surrounded the lake while his dual toned gaze searched the area around him and he kept his nose to the wind to search of Ardal's scent. His brother had told them that he was going to go for a little while, something about needing to think about some stuff and figure stuff out. Laoch didn't question Ardal too much about it, knowing that his brother had seemed pretty troubled lately, but when he didn't come back after several days Laoch started to get worried. He was far too protective of his family to just let his brother disappear like that. Luckily he had been able to catch a few hints of Ardal's scent and it had lead him back to Alacritis. Being here brought back so many memories of his early puphood, back before their parents decided to take him and his siblings with them on what had started out as a vacation and ended up being a permanent move. Laoch was happy where ever his family was so he didn't mind too much. He had left their parents under Shi's watchful gaze and went in search of their brother, confident that the three of them would be fine. With a sigh he slowed to a stop. Where could Ardal be? He made a little detour to the edge of the water to lap up some of the cool liquid before he took another look around him. Surely he'd find Ardal soon... at least he hoped so. "Talk" "You" Think

If Arda was being honest with herself she had no real intention of returning… at least not right now. She was spending much of her time trying to figure out how to come out to her family when she returned, if she returned. It wasn’t as if she didn’t want too, because she sure as hell did… it was that she knew she couldn’t face them till she was finally comfortable enough with herself to face the worst situation… Plus it was kind of nice being around her cousin, Surreal had been first the learn and it was refreshing to be close to family that didn’t mis-gender her at every turn… Not that that was her immediate family’s fault. The girl was heading back towards the valley now, the lake a mere pit stop to refresh herself and maybe take a quick dip, even as the trees were beginning to lose their leaves it wasn’t exactly cold in the west of the continent and after the amount of walking she had done today she was looking forwards to a break. The terrain began to grow a little bit more familiar and the girl sped up, a slight smile breaking across her features. That quickly dropped as a scent she knew well assaulted her senses. Suddenly stopping short the girl’s eyes grew wide. "Loach?" Her voice was hoarse but still noticeably softer and higher than he was no doubt used to… a habit she had been happy to develop up till now. Dropping into a lower register the girl stared at her brother as she spoke again. "What are- What’re you doing here?" It wasn’t as if she wasn’t happy to see him… but she had just been starting to get used to freely expressing herself and now she suddenly felt shoved back into the neat little, and incredibly constricting, box she had been born in. "Talk" "You" Think

Just as he was wondering where he should look for his brother next he heard just the voice he had been looking for. His ears perked and he turned his head to look at Ardal. A smile split across his muzzle and he turned to trot over to his brother, his tail waving slowly behind him. "There you are, Ardal! I was starting to think I'd never find you! I came to look for you. When you didn't come back I got worried." He looked Ardal over, pleased to see that his brother looked well. "But here you are! I'm actually a little surprised I found you so quickly with Alacritis being such a big place and all." He smiled and let his gaze come back to Ardal's. "So have you figured out what you were wanting to figure out? I'm sure Mom and Dad will be happy to have you back home." He settled down onto his haunches. It had been a long walk after all, he was happy to get off his paws for a little bit. He noticed that Ardal didn't seem too thrilled to see him, but he took it with a grain of salt. He knew his brother loved him just like he loved his brother so he waited for Ardal to explain himself before Laoch started jumping to conclusions. "Talk" "You" Think

Arda mustered the best smile she could, her tail twitching ever so slighty. Even with the sudden discomfort of having to affect her old identity knowing that her brother had been worried was comforting. It was in that instant hard to believe that he could even not accept her… but then that was the thing wasn’t it? She wouldn’t know till he knew and by then it’d be too late if he wasn’t supportive. Her old name grated upon her, sounding wrong. At least out here even when she met someone who insisted on using the wrong pronouns they only had the name she gave them to go on…  "I’ve been staying with Surreal actually…" Her voice sounded too deep, too heavy in her head and she longed to slip into the much more natural register she had been operating in for the past few weeks. "She lives not far from here, with her kids… New pups included." A reflection of a real grin finally pushed through her fake one as she thought of the young ones, they didn’t know her very well yet but what little she had seen of them they were simply curious but accepting. The conversation turned to her return and her reaction was instantaneous. Tail dropped along with her smile and she physically curled in upon herself slightly.  Unable to settle upon her haunches even as Laoch did so she shifted nervously, yet another habit she was developing. Dammit, Dammit! How could she explain to him that even if she returned right in this instant Ardal was never coming back. He had died somewhere between where his family stayed and here. "I don’t-" She shook her head, attempting to clear it and generate a competent answer. "I’m not-" She failed. "Talk" "You" Think

His gaze widened with surprise a little bit when his brother mentioned staying with Surreal and her kids, which had apparently grown in number. He grinned happily and his tail wagged at the thought. He would have to tell their parents when they got back about that. Cael would be happy to hear about the new pups. In fact, he might just have to pay a visit to their youngest cousins before they went back. He did love pups after all. However, his thoughts came to a screeching halt and his smile slipped off his face when he saw a sudden shift in Ardal's expression and stance. He frowned and concern came to his gaze. He watched his brother struggle to make a complete sentence and Laoch's head tipped to the side. "Ardal, what is it? You're not what?" In Laoch's world not being with family was not even something he would consider so the thought of his brother not coming back with him wasn't something that he could even think of on his own. He sat quietly and waited to see if his brother would explain himself. What could possibly be bothering him so much that he couldn't even tell him? "Talk" "You" Think

It was coming to a head, she could feel it. Laoch wasn’t blind and she wasn’t exactly exuding confidence, sooner or later his questions would become unavoidable and she could only pray that it would be later… she still had no idea how to say what she needed… But then when had life ever dealt her a winning hand? "Ardal, what is it? You're not what?" She couldn’t stop the slight flinch at hearing that name. It felt like a wound, a rock hurled her way. "Please don’t-" Her voice faltered slight and as she started again she lifted her voice into a higher pitch, it was all or nothing now anyways. "Please don’t call me that… I’m not Ardal." She lifted forest gaze to meet his, begging him to listen, to understand. Still her posture was submissive, reserved. "I never was!" "Talk" "You" Think

The longer he watched and listened to his brother the more he was confused. He blinked and his eyes widened when all of the sudden Ardal's voice shifted into a higher register and for a moment he could only look at him, completely taken aback. He had no idea what was going on and honestly couldn't even guess what was going on. "Ar-" he stopped himself, his ears flicking back. "What- what do you mean? What's going on?" He got to his paws and padded closer, his two-toned gaze watching his sibling with concern. "Just tell me. You can tell me anything, you should know that." He frowned and waited for some kind of explanation. He put aside any thoughts of taking Ardal home for the time being. Right now he was really just more concerned for his brother and whatever it was that was bothering him. "Talk" "You" Think

There was a brief moment of silence and Arda took it to try and reign in her breathing… her emotions. She hadn’t meant for the outburst to happen… hadn’t meant to push herself into this corner. But then she had hadn’t she? And now for better or for worse she would have to explain herself. Laoch attempted to begin again and despite herself she had to chuckle slightly. "I prefer Arda…” She wasn’t going to lower her pitch, not again, he would just have to deal with what she considered her natural voice. Still there was that question and she faltered again. Her brother rose to his paws and Arda met his gaze. She wanted to believe him, she wanted to believe him so much! "When we were born mom and dad looked at us and declared that we were brothers and Shi was our sister." She began, doing her best to keep her voice level. "If they hadn’t of done that it’d still be correct right? If they had simply named us and called it a day you’d still be my brother and Shikoba would still be our sister." Well assuming anyways… but she was reasonably certain neither of her siblings felt she way she did. "But what if…" She took a deep breath and started again. "What if they were wrong? What if mom and dad had looked at you and said ‘this child is female!’ would you be my sister or would you still be my brother?" The girl shifted again. "What if all my life I was told I was a boy, that I was a brother but it never felt right? What if on the inside I felt like a girl? What does that make me? Who does that make me?" "Talk" "You" Think

Laoch carefully listened to everything Arda told him. He wouldn't speak till his sibling was done. Laoch didn't want to interrupt him at all and while he spoke Laoch did his best to process it all. To be honest, he didn't really understand what Arda meant, but he could tell this was something that really, truly had been bothering his sibling and he didn't want Arda to feel like he didn't care enough to try to understand. Laoch cared more than any of his family members could ever know. His brows pulled together with thought as Arda posed several questions for him. Silence settled between them while he tried to think through everything he - she? - had said. "That makes you Arda," he finally said, his voice soft and careful while his expression softened and a slight smile touched his muzzle. "You're still my sibling, boy or girl, brother or sister. You're still my family and I still love you very much." "Talk" "You" Think

She had said it, had spoken her truth; now it was her brother’s to do what he would with it. It was scary, putting her whole world, her whole life in his grasp and letting him poke and prod at it. She had always been “Ardal” to him and now in this moment she was dumping everything she had pretended to be. She was shedding the masks; the costumes she had worn as Ardal and was forcing her brother to look at the person beneath the character. She could only pray his reaction would be good.  " That makes you Arda," her brother began and Arda realized she had been holding her breath. Lids slid closed slowly and she breathed deeply allowing Laoch’s words to wash over her. For a moment she sat in shocked silence. Then as she opened her eyes she realized that her vision had blurred; tears had risen unbidden to her eyes and now even as she struggled to fight them she was crying, unable to stop the liquid leaking from her eyes. Shoulders shook and her chin tucked to her chest; a small smile pulled at her lips though and she there she sat happy and unable to stop the tears. "Talk" "You" Think

Laoch could feel the relief rolling off of his sibling in waves. The tears that came to Arda's eyes made a small, relieved small come to his lips. These were tears of relief and happiness, he was sure of it. There was still so many questions he wanted to ask and perhaps at some point they would be answered, but for now they just needed this moment of healing. As her chin tucked down toward her chest Loach stepped closer and pulled her into a tight embrace. He couldn't lie, this whole thing was still so confusing and he couldn't even begin to understand what all of this meant, but he knew that in the end none of it really mattered. This didn't change the promise he made himself to protect his family. After several moments of just holding Arda and letting his sibling process her emotions, he leaned back so his gaze could find hers again. "You should really tell mom and dad though, you know..." he said gently. "They love you, all of us, so much and this won't change that. And with dad getting so up in age..." He hesitated, thinking of how their father had gotten in the last couple of years. With both of their parents being healers he was sure his father was much better off than some other wolves his age, but he couldn't help but wonder how much longer he might have. "I just don't want you to not have the chance to tell him, Arda." "Talk" "You" Think

He let her cry which she probably needed. All the worry flowed out of her, all the horrible imaginings fled her mind and she felt light, light as a feather. She leaned into his embrace sobbing into his shoulder. His supportive frame felt so familiar, so comforting. It all made sense now of course, Laoch was her brother and he had only ever wanted to protect them from harm… hind sight was 20/20 after all. He pulled back just as she was beginning to gain control over her overflowing emotions. Arda met his gaze and listened sullenly as he spoke. She nodded voice a bit hoarse as she spoke. "I know…" It was still a hard thing to conceive. Even as she faced acceptance from her brother it wasn’t a guarantee she’d get the same thing from her parents. Still his words rung true, especially those of their father’s mortality. "I will, I’m just not- I’m not quite ready." She would need to mentally prepare. "Promise you’ll come with me when I’m ready?" She fixed him with a needy stare, it would be easier with her brother to back her up and she couldn’t imagine facing them alone. "Talk" "You" Think

Laoch couldn't say he wasn't a little disappointed that Arda wouldn't come back with him now, but he understood needing more time to prepare for something so monumental. He smiled a little at her request and nodded easily. "Of course. Anything you need, just let me know, Ardal... Arda." He chuckled sheepishly and shrugged. "Sorry... it's going to take some getting used to." He lightly kissed her cheek and smiled. "I'm going to go back to Mom and Dad, but I'll come back here. I just want to check on them and Shi and let them know you're okay. They worry almost as much as I do." He chuckled at his own humor before sobering up a bit and giving her an earnest look. "I won't tell them anything. They can know when you're ready for them to know." Smiling again, Laoch gave his sibling one last nuzzle before turning to head back toward home. "I'll see you again soon, Arda!" "Talk" "You" Think

She didn’t really expect him to say no to her request but just hearing him say it out loud put her at ease. He stumbled over her name and she fixed him with the most understanding smile she could muster. "It’s alright. I don’t expect you to always be perfect… you’ve spent one life time calling me one thing and now you have one more to learn another." It wasn’t as if she didn’t accidentally mis-gender herself from time to time, and he was making an effort which was all she could really ask for anyways! He spoke again and Arda accepted his kiss. It was kind of disappointing knowing he was leaving right now, she hadn’t even had the chance to introduce him to his new family yet… But she also understood his point of view. He was like the guardian of the family and she wouldn’t keep him from his duty. She snorted at his joke and listened calmly as he promised not to tell them about her secret, she couldn’t imagine it would be easy for him… but then they only needed to know she was alive and well. At least that’s all they needed to know for now. He nuzzled her and she absently licked his ear before they departed. "Soon." She repeated. The girl sat in silence watching her brother retreat, she waited till he was completely gone from sight before she too finally rose to her paws and headed home to the valley, she was tired. - Exit Arda- "Talk" "You" Think