Galahad steeled himself as he padded out of his den and out into the sunlight. He didn't know why it made him so nervous to go talk to his own sister, but he couldn't deny that it did. It felt like he hardly knew her and that just made him sad. He had pretty much given up on trying to recover his memories and that made him frustrated. All of it just left him feeling so uncertain and he didn't know where to turn... except to Avalon. He slowly made his way toward her den, hoping maybe he would spot her somewhere along the way. He didn't really want to go to her den and risk bumping into her kids or mate first... he was her mate, right? He assumed so.

He edged around the clearing outside her den and when he didn't see her immediately he turned away and went back toward the middle of the pines. He'd just have to call her it seemed. He wasn't surprised, being an alpha was busy work. He finally settled on his haunches after a short walk away from where he had started and lifted his head to howl for his sister. He wished he knew exactly what he was going to say, or maybe even a vague idea of it, but if he waited for himself to gather all his thoughts he'd never get around to talking to Avalon about anything.

The howl from her brother was surprising, but after turning away from the borders she made her way towards him. It wasn't too long after the meeting, so she wondered if maybe it had to do with that or maybe he just wanted a chat. She felt bad that she hadn't gotten to spend the time that she wanted to with her brother since finding him, so if given the opportunity, she would try to fix that.

It didn't take long to find him, and as she approached her tail wagged as she smiled at him. "Hello Galahad, how are you doing?" She approached him, nuzzling his muzzle for a moment before sitting back and watching him. She knew of his memory loss, and she had neglected to fill him in on things he might want to know. And as she looked at him, she noticed the look he had. "Is everything alright?"

Galahad sighed and shuffled his forepaws while he waited for his sister to answer his call and after a short while he heard her voice and he lifted his head to look at her. He smiled slightly and replied, "I'm okay," before returning the nuzzle she gave him. When she sat down he followed her lead, settling down on his haunches. He honestly didn't know what to say to her question when she asked it. It wasn't like there was anything wrong persay. He was fed and the pack was safe and he had a home. He thought that should probably be enough to think that everything was alright, but he didn't feel like everything was alright.

"I don't know" he finally replied honestly, his ears flicking uncertainly. "I guess... I don't know. I guess I just had hoped I'd feel better about living here by now. I don't know if it's just because I still can't remember anything or if I just haven't managed to find someone here to be friends with or what..." He sighed and shrugged his shoulders slightly. "I've just been feeling really uncertain about what I'm supposed to be doing. I know you have a lot to do with the pack and everything and that's not your fault. I guess I'd just hoped I'd know you better by now." He made himself hush before he kept rambling on, his gaze drifting to his paws.

She listened to his explanation. Her feeling that something was off had been right. She didn't know what it was like to lose your memory. Everything you once knew gone in the blink of an eye. She couldn't say that she understood. But she wanted to help her brother, and she wished that he had sought her out sooner. "I wish I understood what you are going through, Galahad." She sighed, looking at him with a bit of worry and confusion. There were plenty of wolves for him to meet in the pack, but she hadn't really seen him try to approach anyone besides maybe Amachi. She was usually busy, yes. But she always tried to keep tabs on those in the pack to make sure they were doing their part. Her eye in the sky certainly helped, so she didn't get why he was saying what he was when he wasn't trying much.

On top of that, he had done absolutely no training with Kharnage. Which she wasn't very pleased with, but she had been lenient because he was her brother...but in turn, it was screwing over her son. His nephew. "You know that if you ever need me, I'm always around Galahad. If you feel like you've been having so much trouble, you should have come to me sooner so I could try to help." She thought for a moment, and while she didn't want to make him feel bad or anything, she also didn't want to sugar coat things. He was an adult after all. "Why don't you try spending time in getting to know your nieces and nephews? You're the first family they've met, their only uncle so far...I haven't seen Galileo or any of our other siblings for years. So asides from Creed and Crucible, you're it. I'm sure they would love to get to know you."

This whole thing was just so confusing and frustrating. He knew that his sister couldn't have a way to understand what he was going through with his memory loss, but it was still frustrating. He wanted her to understand so badly, but there was no way to really explain this feeling. "I didn't feel like I could," he replied truthfully when she asked why he hadn't come to her sooner. "I felt like I should just be making it work. I... I didn't feel like I knew you well enough to talk to you about it." It was a bold statement, but it was true. He knew they were related and he had vague, blurry memories of their childhoods, but their childhoods happened so long ago. Avalon asked about getting to know his nieces and nephews and listed off names that he was sure he was supposed to know and didn't. Galahad sighed and glanced down at his paws. "I know I should. And I will." He felt defeated. It felt more and more like his unhappiness here was his own fault, but he didn't know how to fix himself so it felt like an endless cycle of disappointment. "There's at least four years of my life that are just a haze," he commented sadly, pulling his gaze back up to meet hers. "Four years, Avalon. You tell me names like Galileo and Creed and Crucible and I don't know who those wolves are. Galileo is the only one that sounds kind of familiar. I kept thinking maybe more would come back, that being around you and your children and being in a pack again would spark something, but... I'm starting to think it's just gone for good. So what do I do now? I'm six years into my life and it feels like I've done nothing. Not a single thing. What am I supposed to do about that?" He sat back heavily on his haunches, his green gaze falling to his forepaws once more. "Talk" Think

She frowned, ears flattening slightly to her head when he said that he didn't feel like he could approach her. She was a little hurt and confused by it, she was always approachable. Always willing to help those who needed it or lend an ear to those who needed someone to listen. She had always tried to make herself approachable, but perhaps her role as an alpha made other think that they couldn't? It saddened her a bit if that's what others thought. Especially when he said he didn't know her well enough to approach her...she sighed. It must be hard to be unable to remember anything, and she was determined to help him as much as she could. "I'm...sorry, Galahad. That you've been feeling this way...I should've realized sooner." She didn't expect him to respond to that, it was simply how she felt about the matter.

What he had to say next broke her heart, her head lowering as she looked at the ground. She felt terrible that she hadn't been there to help him. She knew he couldn't remember much, and she hadn't done anything to help him! What could they do? She didn't want him to keep feeling like this! "Galahad, I swore that I would help you, and I still intend on keeping that promise! I know it's hard right now, but trust me...I'll help you. Even if you're unable to remember anything, we can create new memories. Yes, six years is a lot to lose, but it's not the end. There's no point in dwelling on memories that you can't remember, so why not make new ones? It's not too late, brother. You're still at an age where you can get a life together." She looked at him, a small smile showing. "My life was full of things I wish I could forget...up until two years ago when I had my first litter. I've been through a lot, loneliness. Slavery. Failed relationships. And much more...in a way, I guess I'm sort of envious of you. There are a lot of things I wish I could forget, but since I can't, I made new memories. Better memories to try and replace the bad ones."

She gently brushed his shoulder with her nose, trying to comfort and reassure him. "It's up to you to decide how your life goes. I know you may end up having to start over if your memories don't return, but it's not always a bad thing to forget. Who knows, maybe starting over turns out to be better then what you had before. Also...I don't know if it'll help or not, but I'd love to tell you what I know about mom and dad..."

Galahad's ears flattened to his head when Avalon's face turned toward the ground. He realized that he was making her feel back with his own depression and suddenly he felt extremely guilty for pushing this on her. It wasn't her fault and he hadn't meant to make it sound like it was. This was all on him, he just wanted someone, anyone, to understand how he felt. As she spoke and told him that loosing six years wasn't the end he had such a hard time believing her. He returned her little smile all the same, but it changed to a frown as she described all the things she wished she could forget. "Never wish to forget things," he advised her with a small shake of his head. "Those things made you who you are and helped you grow. Just be careful what you wish for. You could be like me and not know who you are any more." He tried to keep his tone a little more light, smiling a little as he poked fun at himself and his situation. It was a little bit of dark humor, but he needed to laugh at it or he was just going to keep sinking into this depression. He leaned his head into Avalon's neck when she brushed her nose against his shoulder. A sigh passed his lips and closed his eyes for the brief moment that he let himself find comfort in her reassurances. As soon as she mentioned telling him something about their parents his eyes opened and he lifted his head so his gaze could find hers. He was quick to nod in agreement to her offer. Knowledge was something he had little of these days so just the offer was like offering water to someone that had been walking through the desert. "Talk" Think