It was time to go home. He knew this, and he was finally okay with it. He had been making his way home for many, many weeks now - two seasons, was it? Was this the third? He had truthfully lost count of when he left Abaven, and left his family. That was bad, wasn't it? That he didn't even remember that...

He didn't regret leaving, though. If he hadn't left, he would never have realized the truth in what his family said. He would never had realized how he was hurting everyone. He would never have realized the consequences of his actions, and just hwo stupid he had been. He also wouldn't have realized what it felt like to be truly free, truly happy. He had discovered all of this in his absence to Abaven. The only thing he regretted was the way he left. In a childish rage, unwilling to face his own actions, unwilling to open his ears and listen.

He was still afraid, too, of not being forgiven. Of not being accepted. That was a fear, he knew, that he would not be able to soothe until he was forgiven, though much of it had already been calmed when he ran into Lark. A soft smile appeared on his face at the thought of his much larger brother. Lark was such a hard, stiff wolf, reminiscent of a rock... well, until you dug a bit. Then you found a big, squishy marshmallow. You could never meet a wolf more loyal and devoted to his family, and forgiving, too. At least, in Starling's mind. He was ever appreciative of his brother.

It was running into Lark that gave him the courage to finally reach the border. He hadn't come with Lark back home, instead choosing to face this alone. He needed to face his actions, and he needed to face his father, alone. It was his fault, his wrong-doing, his many stupid things. Therefore, he must deal with it without leaning on another, without using a crutch. And he would, too.

Standing only a few feet from the border, he felt his fear return. It made him pause, and voice inside urged him to go back, to not call, that he would just be hurt, that Lark was wrong and he wouldn't be forgiven. Swallowing hard, he dug his paws into the ground. No. He must stay. He couldn't run away, like every other time.

Taking a deep breath, he called for the alpha of Abaven, who was ultimately his judge... and also his father.

"Speech"

It was a call that he had been waiting for, and was dreading it all the same.

Bass was checking the water levels in the lake, seeing how much had evaporated in the past few days. With this intense heat, even the rapids had gone down a bit. He was worried about the dryness of the lands, a fire could break out quite easily. He hadn't been thinking about his family at all, but the next step that he was going to take with Abaven. When he heard the call from Starling, he stopped dead in his tracks. His heart dropped to his paws, and he looked towards the borders. He didn't know if he wanted to go over there, or what was even going to transpire. Taking a deep breath, he steeled himself against all his feelings and calmly made his way towards his son. His face was shut off to any and all emotions as he neared Starling, even though his heart felt like it was going to jump out of his chest. He wanted to run to him and hold him, but at the same time he wanted to bite into his scruff and shake some sense into him. He settled for just letting out a sigh as he sat down before him, looking at him with slightly narrowed eyes. This could go so many ways, and he didn't want to get his hopes up again. "Starling," he said softly, a contrast to his hard outer shell. He still loved the boy before him, there was no doubt about that.

"Speech"
'thoughts'

The anticipation was killing him. Every second, every moment was a season to him. Every breath was one hundred; everything was just way too long as he waited for his father to arrive. He smelled the scent of Abaven clear as day; Raba in particular was strong, he could tell, and several other wolves. Strange, to realize that the scent was so clear to him. Before, he didn't even notice the smell of the pack, but now it is clear. That just reminded him of how long he'd been gone, and how no trace of Abaven remained on him.

It wasn't long, though it felt like it, before his father arrived. And there he was - tall, powerful... and stone-faced. He felt his heart drop through his stomach. He was angry, wasn't he? He wouldn't be forgiven. Lark must've been wrong - he shouldn't have called Bass; he should have known better! The fear warred inside him, and he swallowed heavily, his heart in his eyes (and stomach) as he simply looked at Bass with an almost hopeless expression.

Then Bass spoke. The tone was so opposite of what Bass' posture, it was... it was his father speaking. Not the alpha that currently held Bass up. It gave him hope, hope to fight back that panic and fear and e tried beating it down ruthlessly, though whispers of it still infected his mind. "F-Father." Curse his stutter; why won't it fully go away now? He was so long without it - and now, here it was again. With Lark, with now his father... He wasn't sure why it was there every time he became scared, nervous. "I've c-come home, i-if you'll h-have me," he whispered quietly. He had everything planned. Apology, permission to come home, explaining and realizing is mistakes, but all that flew out the window. Now he was just a boy, standing in front of his father.

"Speech"

He looked at Starling, who stood at an equal height with him, and just let out a sigh as he spoke. He wanted to come home, if he was welcome. Bass' eyes closed as he let out another breath through his nose, his ears pulling back against his head. "Non avrei mai girare lontano da casa tua ..." he whispered, opening his yellow eyes to peer at the boy. Could he even really call himself that? Out of all of his children, he was always most surprised when he remembered that Starling was three years old. It didn't seem like it, he had always been the more immature than the others. Running from his problems, and always seeming to not hear what anyone was saying. Perhaps he got it from his mother. As terrible as it sounded, it was true. The more gentle, docile nature was all hers, while he faced his problems head on. Appraising the boy, one again steeling his face from the pain that had flashed across his face. Did he think that he would toss him out, just because of his actions? There was no doubt that he thought that, but it was so far from the truth. "Hai fatto male più lupi di quello che hai realizzato con partenza . Ti sei perso molto qui , quando abbiamo bisogno di più . Scrupolo è caduto in una depressione senza te qui , piangere quando viene menzionato il tuo nome. Finch non è certo di casa , è andata più spesso di quanto lei è qui ora . Sparrow ha lasciato così , ed è appena tornato a casa come bene. E Lark ..." he paused there, his shoulders simply shrugging. Lark was a hard one to read, so was Pippit. "Ho a malapena vedere i tuoi fratelli più piccoli più, mi sento come la nostra famiglia sta cadendo a pezzi ," He wasn't blaming Starling for this, and he made that clear by dropping his guard. His shoulders sagged, and he lowered himself into a seated position. Did Starling see what everyone else had lately? How tired and old their father appeared now? He felt it, and this whole ordeal with his family just kept dragging him down.

He seemed to use Italian more with Starling than anyone else, as he knew that he was more comfortable with it. It was easier for Bass too, the words flowed from his tongue faster and with less emotion than with their native tongue, as he had to think a bit harder about what he was saying. "Hai capito proprio quello che abbiamo cercato di dirvi in tutti questi anni , Starling ? Non voglio più dramma scintille su, non in questo momento ," Bass said softly, shaking his head back and forth. He was done with the fights, done with him not seeing what everyone else saw in him. He couldn't hold him up anymore, it was sink or swim.

"Speech"
"Italian"

His father... sounded disbelieving that he'd think anything but what he said. Never turn away from home? Well... he could, if Starling had hurt him enough. It was like his mother, right? There was a distinct possibility she'd not be welcomed again, and he understood that. Though he wasn't certain if she'd be welcomed or not again, after yet another disappearance. He'd have to ask that, eventually, though he wasn't certain he wanted to know the answer. He missed her, dearly, and just wished she'd come home... but he was afraid she'd abandoned them all.

His father began speaking again, and Starling listened quietly - until the end of the first sentence. Something - perhaps determination - flashed in his eyes, and he interrupted his father. "No." The word came strong and hard, with no stuttering or hesitation. "No, lo so." And he did know. He could think back, and see the pain on everyone's faces. Still, Bass' words came, and Starling resisted the urge to fold his ers back. He did not realize about Qualm - no. And the others... he felt almost something akin to anger - was his father blaming him  for Finch's absence? For Sparrow, and for Lark, and for Merlin and Sandpiper? No. None of that was his fault. He knew he had hurt many, but he was not responsible for every wolf in his family that did something.. he was not responsible for their family falling apart.

That's why he didn't want to come back. He didn't want his wrongdoings held over him. He didn't want to be blamed for things that were not his doing. It was foolish, he knew, for them to simply forget what has happened, for them to simply trust unconditionally again, but... nor would he want to be around, if his past failures were all that was brought up. Hopefully, that wouldn't happen.

Those worries and thoughts and even anger was immediately released when Bass took off the hard shell he'd been keeping up prior. The posture - it was one of defeat, not blame. Bass was just stating what was happening, not actually blaming him. That made him relieved, but also worried, and he studied his father quietly. "Sembri stanco." Not just tired, but exhausted. It was concerning.

Regardless, Bass started speaking again. He asked the question that Starling knew was incoming, aand the boy bowed his head. "Sì. Io ho," he answered softly, raising his head back up to meet his father's eyes. He more than realized what they had been telling him; he also realized what his actions have done.

"Speech"

His son tried to interrupt him, but he wouldn't have it. He would spell out just what he had done, just how many lives he had effected with his selfish behavior. He didn't even stop when he saw the emotions on his face, he would make it very clear how everyone felt, how he felt. Even though he didn't want Starling to take it as him blaming him, he was afraid he was too late. That is why he dropped his guard, letting his stony exterior crumble down around him. He had missed more than a few things, Bass' own changing mood was one of them. His ears flickered when he said that he looked tired, which made him snort softly. "Si potrebbe dire che ancora una volta ," he said softly, letting out a heavy sigh. "Molte cose sono successe da quando te ne sei andato , e molto di più che sta per accadere ," Bass said, his gaze shifting over this son. He finally smiled softly, leaning forward to lightly brush his nose across Starling's brow. "Ma Mi sei mancato , e sono davvero contento che si sta a casa ."

It seemed that in his time away, he had come to realize everything that they had been trying to do for him. He was a bit skeptical, but he let it slide for now. He felt drained all of the sudden, and wanted nothing more than to curl up and sleep. This darn heat wasn't helping either, it made it hard to do much of anything anymore. His yellow eyes looked Starling up and down, before he stood up and turned around, looking over his shoulder at him. "Vieni ?" Bass asked, before turning away from the borders and walking further into the thicket. He needed some semblance of shade before he overheated and passed out. He walked until a large tree blocked his path, and he flopped down with a sigh. The cool ground felt amazing on his belly, and he looked around for Star. Would the boy have any questions for him? He had questions for the growing boy, wanting to know what he had done and where he had been. It had been a long time since he had seen him, almost three seasons? Two? He didn't even know anymore.

"Speech"
"Italian"

There was still a lingering anger - even lingering resentment. That was what he was afraid of - being blamed for everything. He was to blame for a quite a lot, and he had messed up many times, bu he was no responsible for every little thing that went wrong. He had much to atone for, but he would not atone for anything he was not responsible for. It still lingered even when Bass let his guard down, and he knew he would be wary of the rest of his family, the rest of the pack. He wondered - just how long would it take for the judgement to fade? For him to make up for his mistakes?

He took a deep breath and let it out in a heavy sigh as his father spoke. "Tell me," he said gently. A lot had happened? And what was supposed to happen? A small smile appeared on his face as his father leaned forward and brushed his face. "I have missed you too," he murmured. That was certainly true, and he'd find out soon enough if he was glad to be home. Right now, though, he was. He missed his family, and needed them around him.

He wasn't expecting for his dad to abruptly stand, but when Bass walked off, across the border, tossing a singular question over his shoulder... well, Starling followed, and without hesitation. Upon crossing the border it felt like a weight had lifted off of him, and he sighed quietly. He had a long way to go, but he was getting there.

He followed his father until he flopped down, and Starling flopped down beside him quietly, not saying a word, yet.

Bass waited until they were both settled in the shade before he even went to spoke about what had been happening. He let out another sigh, his back legs flopping out to the side as he got comfortable. "Well," he started, switching back to English as his tail moved to sit behind his legs. "Abaven has grown quiet again, and I've been fiddling with the idea of retiring soon... I've been alpha for most of my life, and I would like to spend my remaining time here with you kids and not having to worry about running a pack," he said, lowering his head to his legs and peeking up at Starling. "It's been hard, trying to balance you guys as well as Abaven. It didn't help that your mother left, and I partly blame myself for that," Larl had argued that it was a choice that she had made on her own, but there would always be a part of himself that would wonder why. What could he have done differently to keep her here? Was she ever fully in love with him like she claimed, or did she quickly grow bored of him? His pale ears clung to his head, his yellow eyes reflecting the pain that he still felt after all this time. "Of course, I would train in the new alpha before letting them take over. I had thought about Karabela when she came to me saying that she wanted to pack, but I took too long on the choice and she already claimed her own lands, not that I blame her. When you want something, you have to take it before it's gone. Lark suggested Tinaro, and we are going to discuss it. He said he's not ready for Abaven yet, and I don't blame him. It's not a simple thing to just take," Bass' tongue snaked out as it smacked against his lips, and he fell silent to see what Starling thought about it all. He had just thrown a lot of information at him, and he wanted to give him time to formulate his thoughts.

"Speech"
"Italian"