Athena shifted on her side to lay a bit more comfortably outside of her den. She had her bracelets off, resting on the ground just in front of her paws. There were indents in her fur from the years of wearing them. She had worn them so long and so often that the fur on her legs where they sat grew around them. She ran her tongue over the fur in a hopeless attempt to smooth it down. If anything she'd have to stop wearing them and hope her fur grew back in correctly over time. She looked up at the bracelets with a sigh, her ears flicking back against her head. Her plans to pass them down to her daughters seemed to fall through. She hadn't gotten around to it and now they had both disappeared. Diana had been distant for some time now, but Jayne's departure was a complete surprise. Her children were all together again so breifly that she wondered why she had even hoped for such a thing. Amalia was pretty much always distant now, either working on her herbs or healing or whatever else. Athena lowered her head down onto her forelegs with her two-toned eyes still peering at her bracelets sadly. "Talk" "You" Think

Ara had grown accustomed to feeling lonely. While a solitary creature by nature and habit, she preferred to share the company of another, and after spending years hoping that her wife would return to her, the aging woman had grown painfully aware that things wouldn't go back to how they had once been. It wasn't something she liked to dwell on for long when possible, and so she tried to keep her mind occupied. Often she busied herself in pointless work, gathering herbs for ailments that members of Fiori would never encounter, for potential dangers that were unlikely to occur to anyone she ever met. More often she had taken to more dangerous journeys outside of pack territories, venturing into lands unnecessarily dangerous to seek out herbs that might not exist there at all. Today, though, she simply felt tired. She had spent most of her time in Fiori struggling desperately to insert herself into pack life and contribute whenever possibly, but it was still just that - a struggle. She'd never been terribly good at socializing to begin with, though work was something she was happy to delve into with all her being. It was simply hard when they'd been blessed with good health, when Fiori was a pack prone to peace, and when she didn't know of any wolves interested in learning the art of healing. The scent of a semi-familiar wolf roused her from her dark thoughts. She had been wandering today, oblivious to where her paws were carrying her. Though she didn't know Athena well, she had spoken to her wife a pawful of times and thought of the two fondly. In a way, she felt a certain camaraderie with them, though she wouldn't admit it - they were the first women she'd ever met who were mates. She'd never felt particularly alienated from loving Novel, but knowing someone else shared the same sort of feelings was comforting to her. A soft smile painted her features as she drew closer to where Athena lay. She didn't seem preoccupied, but still she hoped she wasn't bothering her. "Morning, Athena," Ara greeted the woman with a slow dip of her head, gaze fixing on her to make sure her presence wasn't unwanted. "How are you doing?" Perhaps some idle conversation would be enough to break her somber mood, though it felt like she'd been in this slump for many seasons now and she wasn't sure small-talk would help in the long run. Briefly, though, it might be nice.

Athena was normally pretty aware of her surroundings, but today she was just too lost in her own thoughts and musing to notice Ara approaching her. It wasn't until the other woman spoke that Athena's gaze lifted to look at her. She was honestly surprised to have anyone speaking with her, but the company wasn't unwanted. She had just grown so accustomed to being on her own and laying in silence that she hadn't bothered to seek out company in quite some time. "Oh, hello, Ara," she said with a slight smile. She straightened up a bit and pulled herself up to sit on her haunches, hoping she didn't look too disheveled. "I've been better, but I'm sure I've been worse," she replied as she glanced down at her bracelets that were still sitting a foot or two from her. She reached out with her forepaw and pulled them closer to her so they weren't out in the middle of the area between them. "How about you?" she asked in return. She wasn't the best at small talk, she never had been, and she was sure that what little skill she had in it was rusty at best. Still, it was a nice reprieve from her own worries so she certainly turn up her nose to a little conversation. She didn't know what much about Ara so at least there was plenty for her to learn and talk about. "Talk" "You" Think

It wasn’t difficult to tell that something was weighing heavy on Athena’s mind, though she was similarly afflicted. Most of the time Ara found herself lost in her thoughts, so she wouldn’t blame the woman if her attention was elsewhere. The surprise to be spoken to was evident, though Ara mirrored her expression slightly - she often wore a somewhat dazed, vacant expression these days, it seemed, and today was little different. Through the furrowed expression she had tried to force a smile, hoping to seem as friendly as she felt. Athena said she’d been better - but worse, too. She nodded slowly, wishing she didn’t understand exactly what she meant. "I’m about the same, I suppose," Ara admitted after a moment of thought. It hit her suddenly that nobody had asked her about Novel’s ongoing absence, and she hadn’t spoken about it to anyone either. At first she had thought it’d make everything feel all that more real, but she knew now that Novel’s absence wasn’t a fluke; she wasn’t coming home. Or, at least, Ara shouldn’t expect her to. "I’m… tired," she admitted softly, releasing a soft breath of air that she’d been holding in without intending to. "I never really understood the whole ‘getting old thing’ until now." It wasn’t even the physical things that bothered her. She wasn’t really that old, not yet, though she did notice herself wanting more sleep and getting tired more quickly. It was the emotional burdens that pained her, and only seemed to worsen with time.

Athena related to Ara's words so deeply that it was almost relieving to hear the sentiment come from someone else's mouth. She smiled sadly and chuckled with a small nod. For the most part she had been in good health for the entirety of her life, something she was greatful for, but she could start to feel the years pulling at her bones. She liked to think that she still had many years ahead of her, but it was beginning to get to the point in her life when the years ahead of her were shorter than the ones behind. It was really more of a mental exhaustion than a physical one at times. There was a long, at times hard road between the beginning of her life and now and she didn't feel like adding too much more to that road. At least not in this moment. Maybe something would happen to change that. She hoped so. "I'm not the best at small talk, I'm afraid," she admitted with a slight shrug and a hint of a smile. "But I need to get up and stretch my legs if you'd like to join me. I don't think I've left this spot all day." She pulled herself to her paws and gave her thick coat a shake to get rid of the spots where it had flattened from sitting for a while. She glanced down at her bracelets and decided to pick them up and place them inside the den behind her before she turned back to face Ara. "I'm trying to get used to not wearing them," she explained briefly even though she didn't know if it needed any explanation. She started walking as long as Ara followed suit, keeping a leisurely pace. Mostly her eyes drifted over the scenery, but they eventually came back to Ara. "You had a mate... right?" she asked, feeling a bit awkward as soon as she said it. Even still, she was curious. She didn't remember much about Ara if she was being honest, but she seemed to remember that Ara had a mate at one point. Or maybe she had heard it from Amalia. Either way, she was desperate for a conversation starter. "Talk" "You" Think

It'd been awhile since she really sat and talked to someone. She found herself smiling at Athena's demeanor, since it seemed she understood exactly what she was talking about. Truthfully, it was quite entertaining how she felt so old and so young at the same time - hadn't it just been yesterday that she'd been frolicking in the flowers with Novel? She remembered the first time they'd met, so long ago, beneath the willow trees. She wondered how so many years had passed so quickly. Some days she still felt surprisingly young, and she wondered if she would ever feel quite as old as she was. Ara found herself sighing wistfully at the thought. Her words, surprisingly, brought a smile to Ara's face.  "Nor am I, actually," she admitted, feeling a bit relieved that she wasn't alone in being bad at small talk.  "But if you show any interest in herbs, I'll probably talk your ear off. Just a fair warning." Ara was used to spending most of her time alone; she'd always been more introverted and thoughtful than most she met, though in one particular area she thrived.  "But I'd love to join you. Thanks." Despite her independent nature, she truly did enjoy the company of others, and going for a brief stroll with Athena sounded like a nice break from the monotony of her day. Her gaze followed Athena briefly as she brought her bracelets inside, wondering how she ever got used to them. Probably the same way she was growing used to wearing that tattered satchel she'd found, though she'd decided to give it a break today. The bracelets, at least, looked quite nice even if she was unsure if they served any real purpose. The beginning of their walk was quiet. The silence was a bit awkward, but it felt more comfortable than not. The question took her by surprise, though, and she was grateful she could tilt her head away, examining their surroundings briefly before speaking.  "I.. did," Ara answered, noticing Athena had used the word had rather than have. It was accurate, she supposed, as much as it hurt to admit it. She hoped her soft reply didn't betray how that fact made her feel.  "Her name is Novel. She.. left to return to her birthlands. She was supposed to return, but it's been.. awhile." She wasn't opposed to talking about it, but she hadn't spoken of Novel to anyone since her departure, and it was harder than she anticipated.  "I.. am not sure if she's coming back."

Athena gave a wistful smile as Ara mentioned how herbs could get her talking like no other. In a way it made her think of Amalia and her mate's passion for healing, but it also made her wish that she had brought it up more with her. Maybe if she had asked Amalia more about the herbs she was continually collecting she wouldn't be so distant. There was plenty of time to think "what if" and consider what could have been. That was all she seemed to do these days. Both of her daughters were missing, most of her sons had been missing for quite a while, now Amalia was practically gone and she didn't know why. She wondered sometimes what life might have been like if she had been strong enough to keep the pack under her reign when she had been an alpha. If she hadn't given it to Roman and the pack hadn't been dissolved. Perhaps it wouldn't change anything, but it did make her wonder. She had a deep sympathy for Ara when she spoke of Novel's departure and her subsequent absence. It was hard to find anything to say in response. She wanted to say she could understand how she felt with Amalia being gone all the time, but Athena didn't know for sure that Amalia was actually gone. It felt like she was more and more, but Athena didn't want to make this about her sorrows either. "I'm sorry," she replied after a moment of silence. She attempted to reach over and gently brush her muzzle against Ara's shoulder as a sign of comfort. While she certainly wasn't the best at being affectionate or comforting, she felt like it was at least worth it to try. "Talk" "You" Think

Almost as soon as she stopped speaking, Ara felt embarrassed for saying so much. She hadn't said this many words to anyone in a long while, and to suddenly open up so much.. well, it probably made her seem a bit silly. Not that she'd ever spent much time caring what other people thought of her, but Athena was a packmate, and someone she respected - even if she didn't know her well. But to speak of Novel, and of her absence? She'd kept that part of her mind under tight lock and key, knowing if she said much about it aloud to anyone else she might crumble entirely. To admit out loud that she might not be coming back was a first for her, though she'd been dwelling on it for awhile now. She didn't expect to feel the slight brush of Athena's muzzle against her shoulder. Instinctively, she flinched, but once she realized that the woman was merely comforting her posture slackened again. Ara was unused to much physical contact with anyone, and.. it'd been so long. The brief touch was very welcome, despite her reaction, and she wished suddenly it had lasted a moment longer. "No, I'm sorry," she breathed softly, wondering if she should thank her for her kind words. Moreso, she felt she owed her an apology for her sudden rush of emotion - though she really was being quite normal about it all, she just wasn't used to talking to anyone about these things. "I don't mean to be a downer. You'd figure after her being gone for.." Ara paused, as though counting. "It must be over two years now. Anyway, you'd figure that I would've accepted it by now. I guess I don't let go very well." She cast a brief, sad smile in Athena's direction as they continued walking.

She noticed the slight flinch Ara had to her touch, but there was something in that reaction that Athena understood so deeply it hurt. Going so long with no physical contact made even the slightest touch seem so magnified. Athena's situation was a bit different since she still had Tiburtius and Archelus around that would give her a nuzzle or hug from time to time whenever their paths crossed, but it still wasn't quite the same. There was a time in her life where almost every waking moment, and sleeping moments for that matter, was spent at Amalia's side. Somehow their paths had drifted and now she couldn't remember the last time she had seen the red-headed woman. "I understand that feeling," she commented with a similarly sad smile when Ara commented on how it was hard to let go. Athena spent a lot of time dwelling on the past and refusing to let go of what she had lost. "That's the whole reason I still hold on to those bracelets. I started wearing them years and years ago because my father had some and even though that half of my life is all but gone it's still hard to let them go." "Talk" "You" Think

There was no real reason that Ara didn't get attached to many wolves - no deep-seated fear of abandonment or traumatic loss that had scarred her - but the wolves she grew close to were few and far between. She had always tended to be independent, finding little use for branching out and meeting too many wolves; she spent most of her energy on her studies rather than socializing. And years ago, she'd been completely wrapped up in in caring for her mate and her sons that she'd spent little energy on anything else. But, despite all this, she was comforted by Athena's presence no matter how unfamiliar this all was. "Glad I'm not the one one," Ara offered a faint smile to her, giving her another sideways look as they walked together. It was comforting to have someone relate to her in a way, though she wasn't sure if Amalia's absence was comparable or not. And she wasn't going to ask outright if she was gone for good, or not. It'd been a long time since she'd seen her, but she didn't want to assume anything. She mentioned her bracelets, and Ara tilted her head toward her again, her pace slowing. "Sometimes it's nice to have reminders of your past, though," she commented gently. It took her a long moment to recall if she knew who her father might be. Once it hit her, she fell silent, unsure what to say. Hadn't her father been Isardis? He had taken her father prisoner once, but had eventually let him go - the memory was very hazy to her. "Is it strange, sometimes, to know your family used to be so..." Hated? That wasn't the nicest word. She'd never had any issue with the Armada family, but she'd grown up in Seracia and she knew many wolves there had hated them with a deep passion. "Controversial?" It didn't matter much anymore, though, and she shrugged a bit. "I understand if you don't want to talk about that."

Athena's pace slowed to match Ara's as they continued to wander aimlessly through the mangroves. As her new friend's sentence trailed off at the mention of her family Athena knew what Ara wanted to say. Her father had managed to make her family enemies of almost everyone - especially some of the largest and most notable families. She remembered all too well how skeptical of her Epiphron had been when she and Amalia first arrived here with their sons. Athena scoffed a little when Ara finally came up with a slightly less harsh way to say how everyone viewed their family. "It's a weird thing to have a reputation for things you never did," she replied after a moment of contemplation. "There's a lot of weight tied to my name... Athena Armada, warrior and heir to Isardis' throne... Even though once I took his place I did everything I could to reverse what my father had done..." She shrugged and glanced away with a sigh. "I honestly haven't seen any of my family in a long, long time. Amalia's family feels more like my own, especially since my brother passed away. I made my own family with my sons and daughters and Amalia... even though that feels like it's crumbling a bit now too..." Athena didn't know why she was telling Ara all of this, but once the truth started rolling off her tongue she had a hard time stopping it. "Talk" "You" Think

It was reassuring to know she wasn't completely alone in her misery, no matter how unfamiliar it was to her to reach out to another wolf for comfort. And to provide a shoulder to lean on, or simply an ear to listen, was something she was more than grateful to do. She was a healer at heart, accustomed to caring for others and aiding in their ailments.. and she knew not all pains were physical ones that could be cured with herbs and rest. Some ailments never faded at all, not completely, and only time and reflection could lessen their suffering -- she knew these pains all too well. She found herself nearly smiling at Athena's words. "I could imagine," Ara agreed carefully. Her own parents had been quiet wolves, largely keeping to themselves, though she had heard tales of things her father had done in his younger years. She couldn't imagine being thought of as someone who'd done terrible things, though she thought - and hoped - that her father had changed after so long. Not that it mattered much now. "At least you tried to undo the harm. Hopefully that meant something to the wolves who he did wrong by." Ara offered a slow, uncertain shrug. Did Athena know her father had been held prisoner by Isardis? Luckily for him and his family, though it sounded a bit sad, his usefulness had been deemed low enough that he'd been released. He was not a prisoner that the Kingdom of Seracia would've put much on the line to get back, if anything at all. He'd been old even then, without much to offer to wolves beyond his family. "Do you remember seeing my father there, when you were young? He wasn't held there for long." She was suddenly curious, nostalgic about her parents, and her eyes gleamed hopefully as she looked sideways at Athena. "His name was Bronze. He was a bit larger than me, with tan fur and a big scar running down his eye." She felt suddenly bad for bringing it up, despite her curiosity; she doubted Athena liked the thought of wolves her father had held as prisoner, but then again it'd been war, and nothing had been off-limits from either side. She felt her heart lurch at the thought of Athena's family falling apart. "I.. can relate," the woman offered simply, timidly. Though she had noticed that Amalia had been scarce, but she didn't know to what extent. "I suppose it's all part of life, but it doesn't make it hurt any less." Ara leaned to press her nose very briefly to the other woman's shoulder, offering an empathetic smile - though she pulled away just as quickly, unsure if she was overstepping any boundaries. She didn't tend to be a very affectionate wolf, not in that way, but it seemed Athena was hurting and she hoped her company might lessen the burden, even if just slightly.