Everything had been.. at a standstill for quite some time. It wasn't that Steel wasn't happy, though, he just felt a bit.. despondent lately. His children were on their own more often than not these days, and with increased alone time he found his mind growing more and more restless. Talis was a decent enough place to live, at least - Dragon seemed a fine leader, not that he knew much about that sort of thing. At least here he was free, even if life wasn't always what he had expected it would be. A sigh left his lips as he mulled over his private thoughts, paws carrying him around one of the more crumbled sides of the castle. The whole thing was collapsing, and seemed to have been this way for quite some time, but some of the walls were more.. rubble than wall, really. He preferred this place though over the plains, and often found himself seeking refuge among the stone walls. He wasn't quite sure what to do with himself today. Thoughts of the upcoming raid still didn't sit well with him, and he found his mind wandering to that again. It still seemed a bit silly to him - putting his daughters in unnecessary danger wasn't at all appealing - but he supposed this one was up to them. As much as he hated that. His brow furrowed slightly as he slumped down against a section of the castle's outer wall, wishing he didn't feel quite so helpless today.

It was a strange time in Esarosa's life. Things seemed to have happened so quickly; she'd progressed from a solitary explorer, to a dedicated mate, pack wolf, and most importantly, a mother. As a young wolf, she had never pictured herself as a reliable caretaker responsible for raising pups. Yet, she had fallen into the role so seamlessly, and it had become the center of her world. Now, however, she found she wasn't needed. Her little ones were no longer so little, and their need for her had waned greatly - in fact, sometimes she felt like a mere nuisance to them now. She found herself somewhat lost, unsure of what to do with herself. There was a sense of freedom attached to the odd feeling of uncertainty, but it didn't feel like a freedom that she wanted. No, she didn't want to roam anymore, like she did as a youngster. She wanted to be needed. As she wandered alone, she came upon Steel's familiar scent which brought a smile to her face. He was just the wolf she needed to see. Why hadn't she sought him out sooner? With a sudden skip to her step, Esarosa trotted down the edge of the castle walls, passing spots that were nothing more than piles of rubble. His scent grew stronger, and she knew she was getting closer to him. She grinned to herself as she saw the tail-end of his... tail... heading around a corner. She stalked along the edge of the wall, slinking around the corner and following his scent around another turn. When she found him, he was slumped against the castle's outer wall, looking despondent, much more gloomy than usual. Her brow furrowed in concern, but she was just glad to see him; perhaps she could cheer him up. She quietly made her way to his side, brushing her coat against his affectionately, feeling instantly at ease in his presence. "Steel," she said softly, her voice warm as she lightly leaned into him, "How are you?" She turned her emerald pools upon him, seeking out his crimson gaze, watching his expression as she waited for his response. "Speak" "Listen" Think

Steel had always hoped he might make a decent father, but even now he wondered if he was a very good one at all. He hadn't formed as close bonds with his children as he had hoped, but he had a sneaking suspicion most parents felt that way sometimes. He knew his father had expressed similar sentiments, despite the fact that his parents were all he had known for most of his young life. He could only hope his children thought the same thing about him. His mind wandered for awhile as he settled down, his muzzle eventually falling to rest on his outstretched forepaws. Only when he heard the approach of another did he stiffen slightly, lifting his crimson gaze to find his mate approaching. Despite his sullen mood, she always seemed to find a way to bring a smile to his face, and his expression lightened infinitely in a quick moment. "My love," Steel greeted her with a steady thump of his tail against the earth, his ears flicking slightly. Only adoration shone in his eyes as he watched her approach, leaning back into her touch with ease. "I'm doing fine. What about you?" He'd never been very good at talking about anything, especially his emotions, though Esarosa made everything seem easier somehow.

She didn't fail to notice the way his shoulders stiffened when he first heard her pawsteps approaching. She felt badly that he was so tense; it was as though he still wasn't accustomed to living in a pack with other wolves, with the notion that someone might approach him at any time. She wondered if he ever would get used to it. Maybe this wasn't the right place for him to be. However, her gaze met with his face as he turned to look at her, and she saw the bright smile that formed on his face when he realized who was coming his way. His expression lightened immensely, and she found herself distracted from her thoughts, completely focused on him. His affectionate greeting warmed her insides, causing her thick tail to swish rhythmically across the dusty castle floor as she rested herself against him. She sighed lightly as she felt him lean back in. How had she ever gotten so lucky, meeting him so by chance in the vast wilderness that spread across continents? And how had she ever gotten past his walls, getting to see this side of him that he didn't show to anyone. She was pulled from her inner world and back to reality when she heard his voice. It was a simple answer that he gave, and he returned the question back to her. "Couldn't be better, now that I'm with you," she said with a giggle, leaning in to press her muzzle against his cheek in a soft kiss. She was happy just to be with him, although she couldn't deny her earlier feelings, the feeling of not being needed anymore, being without purpose. "Actually, I do have something on my mind that's been bothering me," she finally mentioned, pulling away from Steel just slightly so she could look at him, "Our children are all grown up now and I guess I just feel a little lost... It's not that I don't know what to do with myself - there's plenty to do around Talis... I just - oh, I don't know, maybe I'm not making any sense." She shook her head, not knowing how to explain herself. Would Steel understand? Did he feel the same way, or was it just her? "Speak" "Listen" Think

Esarosa had a strange way of calming his tortured soul. Perhaps there was no real need for him to be so broody all the time, but it was easier said then done. Living in these lands brought back memories of times he often wished he'd rather forget - he'd much preferred their home in the north, despite living conditions being harsher there. Still, in her presence - as well as in the presence of their children - he could briefly push away his own thoughts and, for once, simply smile. He, too, wondered how she had fallen for someone.. someone like him. Esa was far more outgoing, and more adventurous than he could ever dream of being. Surely she could've found someone far easier to deal with than himself, yet somehow she had chosen him. He tried not to question it too much. Despite his doubts, he knew her love was true, and knew it wasn't something that should occupy his mind.  Her words only further proved his doubts were without warrant, and his smile grew wider, feeling his heart flutter slightly in his chest. "Mm," he murmured in simple agreement to the sentiment, feeling very much the same. And yet -- the feeling of ease slipped away quickly as she started to say something else. Something had been bothering her? Instantly his chest tightened with worry. Perhaps she was sick of his distance, of his time spent away from her. He felt his heart wrench as she pulled away and watched him, though some of his worries faded when she spoke again. She felt lost. Useless, a bit, perhaps? He could relate, but then again, that feeling of being lost was something he had always had. "I.. can definitely relate," Steel agreed, a bit warily, without meaning to. It was rare he truly opened up to anyone, let alone spoke about his feelings, and he felt a bit silly admitting he felt the same. It'd feel even sillier to admit he felt lost, literally all the time. "You make perfect sense. You need to find something else to occupy your mind. I could do the same." Lightly he pressed his nose to her cheek, before pulling back to study her features. "Maybe we can.. I don't know.. find some kind of project to help the pack out. Or even just something for ourselves?" Contributing to Talis was probably the best way to pool their energy, but truthfully Steel wasn't the most selfless man and he'd just as quickly jump on an opportunity to do something productive for his family first. Anything at all to cheer Esarosa up - he wasn't used to seeing her feeling down, or lost, and his heart ached for her.

Esa was watching him intently, perhaps a little too intently as she waited for him to muster up a response; she had forgotten just how difficult it could be for him to express himself at times, although he had gotten infinitely better at it since they'd first met. "I.. can definitely relate." When he said those words, she felt a wash of relief - it was nice to know that she wasn't just imagining things. Okay, now she knew what she was feeling wasn't just in her head... what would she do from here? Ears flicked forward as Steel spoke again, offering solutions. She nodded earnestly as she listened, mulling over each possibility in her mind. She definitely needed something to occupy her mind and her time, as she spent too much of it overthinking things needlessly. It wasn't something she was used to, as she was normally spontaneous and carefree. "Well, I'm glad to know it isn't just me," she stated, smiling at her love, "I was starting to think maybe I was going crazy." Starting a project of some sort for the pack sounded like a good idea. She just wondered what. Perhaps they could create a good place for the hunters to stash food, a place where the pack could meet and enjoy a meal together. Or maybe they needed more games, more interesting lessons to keep the pack engaged and learning with one another, or... the possibilities were certainly not limited, but Esa didn't know where to start. Perhaps she and Steel really did need to just start with something that was for themselves. A mischievous smile began to spread on her face as she imagined the possibilities. "It's been a while since we were alone together," she mentioned, glancing away to the castle walls as her mind began to wander, "Maybe once this whole raid thing is over we can get away together. Go somewhere new like we used to do, just you and me." She glanced back to him again, wondering what his thoughts were on such a suggestion. She knew they'd still need something to do in the meantime. Perhaps a family hunt before the raid, to ensure that they were well-fed and strong before leaving. "Speak" "Listen" Think

Usually he felt uncomfortable being watched for long. He was a wolf that preferred to live on the sidelines, away from direct attention whenever possible, and yet the attention of his mate - and his children, for that matter - was strangely pleasant to him. Even though he glanced away for a moment, avoiding her gaze, he relished quietly in the attention as she took in his words and responded. She seemed to be relieved that he agreed with her, saying she'd been worried she'd been going crazy. A slight frown tugged at his lips, and he redirected his gaze back to her, pressing his nose gently to her cheek.  "Definitely not," he told her firmly. If anyone was crazy in their relationship, it was definitely him - she was too perfect for anything like that. He hoped she had some idea as to what could distract them, because he'd been too deep in his own thoughts to think of anything productive. With Esarosa, though, he was sure they could conquer anything - and feeling a bit lost and perhaps bored wasn't at all something too difficult to overcome, not at all. There were far worse things in life to endure, he knew that with certainty. Truthfully, though, he just didn't know where to begin. They probably needed to spend more time training the younger members of the pack, and doing that together sounded far easier than on his own. He hummed softly as they both considered it, but he was glad when she agreed with the thought of doing something alone sounding good. Going away together, even if just for a few days, after the raid.. it sounded perfect.  "I love that idea," Steel quickly agreed, leaning more against her. Their kids were old enough now that they were fine without them around for extended periods of time - actually, they'd be fine without seeing them ever again, as much as that hurt to admit. Perhaps not well, but they would survive. Not that he'd ever dream of leaving them. "A trip would be nice once this raid ordeal is over. Speaking of that-" he started, shifting slightly where he sat to watch her. "How do you feel about the whole thing?" He preferred to stay out of the affairs of other packs, and Sterling was clearly participating. He knew he couldn't watch over his kids forever, but the thought of them possibly getting injured was distressing, and he frowned slightly as he spoke.

Esa was comforted by Steel's confirmation that she definitely wasn't crazy. Thank goodness for that. She felt that it wouldn't weigh on her mind as it had. She was happy that she could talk to him like this, his words and attentiveness to her very consoling. She should have known to talk to him sooner; he made her feel like any obstacle could be conquered. "Thanks," she said with an appreciative smile, feeling resolved over her previous worries.

Her tail thumped against the ground when he agreed with her idea of going away together. "I love that idea." His words made her melt a little in adoration. She could remember a time in her life when she'd thought she would never be tied to anyone or anything; and a time when she didn't trust that anything could last more than a fleeting moment. But everything had fallen into place when she'd met Steel. She'd never realized she could love someone so unconditionally, and have it reciprocated just the same.

Then the subject shifted, and the gray-coated man asked her how she felt about the whole raid ordeal. Her ears flicked back and emerald orbs cast downward. Although she had agreed to join the raid at the meeting, she wasn't exactly thrilled about it. She'd just gotten caught up in all the hype of it, and she did feel it would be a good way for her to keep an eye on her daughters. She didn't know what she'd do if anything bad happened to them. When Dragon had asked her to stay behind, it left her feeling anxious. She had agreed with many of the points Gryphon had brought up, and it made her more worried that she wasn't the only one who had thought of those things.

"I wish this raid wasn't happening," she admitted, glancing back up at him, "Although... it's true, this season has been harsh. Everything is so scarce right now; water, herbs, prey.. I guess I understand why all the younger wolves want to do this, but it just doesn't feel safe. I suppose there's no stopping it now, though." Her eyes searched his crimson gaze, wondering what was on his mind. He didn't seem thrilled about the raid like their daughters, but she wasn't sure how he felt about it. Perhaps he didn't know either. After all, it could be hard to disagree with the decisions of their pack leader, and the group as a whole. "What do you think, Steel?" she asked, tilting her head thoughtfully.

Steel had always thought unpleasant affairs could be settled more amicably, if only wolves bothered to try. He remembered, quite clearly despite how young he'd been, when his father had pleaded to be released from their old pack with his mother and himself. Nobody else had simply stepped forward to ask, and instead had resigned themselves to prisoners. But all it had taken was a simple proposal, and they had been freed. What if the same could be said for the raid? Perhaps resources could be traded, or an alliance made.. he really didn't know much about politics, but simply taking what they wanted didn't seem fair to him either. It all just didn't sit well with him, but at this point it didn't matter much what he thought about any of it. He watched her expression carefully, noting her ears folded back slightly and she glanced away. She wasn't exactly thrilled with the idea of the raid either, it seemed, but she'd decided to keep an eye on Sterling and Jade too. Gently he leaned into her more, letting his muzzle drape carefully over her shoulders as though embracing her, pulling her a bit closer.  "I wish it wasn't either," Steel admitted, his voice soft - letting a bit of sadness come through in his words. The last thing he ever wanted was to put his family in harms way, but if they were going to do this, he would join them. At least he'd have a chance of keeping an eye on them that way. "I can't help but keep thinking it's not safe either. If anyone hurts Sterling or Jade.." Or, god forbid someone tried to hurt Esarosa, there would be hell to pay. He could already feel his jaw clenching as he imagined it, as hard as he tried not to. His voice trailed off though; surely his mate knew what he was thinking, and he didn't need to elaborate.  "But.. our daughters are smart. I just hope this all turns out okay." They had decided to join Talis, and thus follow Dragon's orders, no matter how much they disagreed with them.. right? They didn't have to join the raid, so he wouldn't gripe about it now. At least, not to anyone but Esa.

Esarosa felt a warmth spread through her as Steel embraced her, his head draped over her shoulders and pulling her closer to him. A contented sigh passed her lips, and she felt comforted by him. She knew it wouldn't remove the dangers of the raid, but his presence and affection was reassuring. They could overcome anything together, she was sure of it. His words met her ears, and she could hear some of the sadness he felt about this raid. He didn't want it to happen, either, and he worried for the safety of their daughters as much as she did. When he continued, he didn't need to say much for the message to be clear to her - if anyone hurt the girls, there would be hell to pay. She could feel his jaw clenching, his tensed muscles pressing against her shoulder. Once more he spoke, and Esa nodded in response to his words. "They'll be okay, my love," she said, the words offered to assure herself as much as to assure him, "They won't get into anything that's over their head. They're smarter than that." It was all she could do to say the words out loud and to keep hoping that her girls would be okay and stay out of serious trouble. It was just a raid, not a full-on war, but there was still the possibility of serious injuries. The pack they were raiding was going to defend their territory, no doubt, and they may take that duty seriously. Although Dragon had said from their mission it didn't appear the wolves were very responsive to an intruder, that could change when ten invaders showed up beyond their borders. Shaking her head, she didn't want to think about it anymore. She leaned into Steel's embrace, tilting her head to plant a kiss on his cheek, and then she pulled away, brushing her tail along his neck as she stood and padded a few steps away. "All this talk has gotten me hungry," she declared - she actually wasn't that hungry, but she didn't want to think about this raid anymore. Her head might explode if she kept letting her thoughts whirl. She looked over her shoulder at Steel, waving her tail in a beckoning motion, hoping he'd join her so they could get moving and get their minds off of the inevitable. "Why don't we take a walk?" she offered, "Maybe we'll think of something we can work on for Talis while we wander. To be honest, I haven't been everywhere in this castle yet." They could explore the corridors of the castle, the ones that still remained, and perhaps they'd come across a little critter they could snack on. In the meantime, they could think of something they'd do for their pack when this raid was over. She paused, waiting to see if Steel would join her. "Speak" "Listen" Think