OOC: liquid timing this with kenos permission so I can have her have these babs in the pack.



Caelum was, for the time being, strangely content. At least she couldn't seem to find anything to complain about. The only thing bothering her was the fact that she was looking for something to bother her. Ugh. She'd been a loner for too long. It wasn't even just that actually. Huffing, she flopped down outside the den she'd been working on. It was okay for now, though she'd prefer something a bit more spacious. That would just have to wait until she'd had the pups though as Cae didn't have the energy to dig it out any further.

The sun was at her back, sinking below the horizon slowly as though it too carried some extra weight that kept it from moving at a normal pace. Shifting around a little to get more comfortable, Caelum was about to consider looking for Zephyr when her thoughts were erased by a sudden contraction. Gritting her teeth the pale woman waited out the pain, blue eyes narrowed in focus. Once she was able to Cae lifted her head to call for her mate. It was time, they were about to be parents again. This thought did little to lessen the tension in her gut though. She wasn't exactly in the prime of her life if she was being honest, so she didn't expect an easy birth. The nervousness would likely not subside for a while, not till Zeph was nearby. In the meantime she'd slip into her den to settle in and get comfortable.

Once the grunting, squirming forms were nestled close to her side Caelum could finally relax entirely.

While it was strange living within the confines of a pack yet, it was not entirely unwelcome. Zephyr knew it would take some time for him to grow accustomed to pack life again after so long as a rogue, yet he was thankful that Dragoste was a small pack, a place he didn't feel completely stifled. At least it gave Caelum somewhere safe to give birth to their children - something he knew was coming soon, but had never quite mastered the art of anticipating perfectly, when she finally called out for him. He'd spent a fair amount of energy helping Caelum dig out their den, and while it might not be spacious, for now it certainly worked. Depending on how many she had, of course. Initial worry for her birth and for their children had slowly become muted, taken over slightly by excitement instead of fear, at least for now. Only when he heard her call ringing across the land did he feel that fear creeping in again. Caelum wasn't exactly of prime childbearing age, and he was all too aware of that fact. His pace quickened as he redirected himself toward their den, hurrying as quickly as he could. He squinted into the darkness as he finally arrived, knowing the last of the sunlight would soon disappear below the horizon. "Is it time?" Zephyr asked softly as he slipped into the den to fall to her side. He knew the answer, so it was more a rhetorical question than anything, and before she answered he moved to press his snout against the back of her neck in a comforting gesture. She had done this before, more than once, so he knew she knew what to expect, yet he also knew it had been a long time and that this birth would not be as easy as previous ones. "Talk" "You" Think

Taking deep breaths she settled down, readjusting several times to find a more comfortable spot as she waited in the den. In all honestly it was mostly to keep herself occupied so she couldn't let her mind wander while she was alone like this. That was always when fear and 'what if' thoughts liked to raise their ugly heads. A sudden contraction had her taking in a sharper breath, wincing slightly, her stomach suddenly churning. The nerves were silenced and tension temporarily released when Zephyr entered. Eyes shining, perhaps with love, perhaps with relief that she wouldn't be alone any longer, maybe both. Nodding at his question, she leaned into his touch and then turned to plant a kiss on his cheek. She was about to say something when the next contraction hit and sucked the air from her lungs for a moment rendering her speechless for a time and when she was able to get her breath back and fall into the rhythm of the pain that came and went she found she'd forgotten the words she was going to speak.

The first child was determined to be the end of her, bringing with it waves of pain Caelum hadn't really expected. But Caelum would be damned if this was going to end any way other than with her and all her pups being okay. So she pushed through, enduring the contractions and pushing until at last the first child made its way into the world. Falling back against Zeph so she could catch her breath again Caelum rested only a moment before beginning to clean the child and bring it to her side. The brown girl was a mix of her parents, as most of their children tended to be, with black markings on her head and white that showed up mostly on her back. Caelum couldn't wait to see what her children's eyes would look like. That was always a fun surprise and one she anxiously awaited with barely restrained excitement.

There was a pause before the next child would seek to make its way into the world, one which Caelum used to lavish the first with affection and kisses. Keeping her eyes on the pup she said in a voice barely above a whisper, "I've never stopped missing you, you know. Since we were apart," her words came slowly, though with a sureness that suggested they'd been spoken in her mind a time or two before seeing the light of day, "Now, even. I missed what we were. Missed you. Missed... being myself." Turning to him Caelum sought out his saefoam colored eyes, her own crystal blue filled with a hybrid emotion made of pain and determination. Taking a deep breath that she was honestly surprised didn't come all shuddering and pathetic, Cae's ears flicked to the side for a moment, then perked and she looked deep into his eyes with more certainty than she'd felt in a long time. "I want to be better than I was. I don't just want to be who I was again; I wanna be more. For them," she said, glancing at the pup who squealed at her side, "For you. For me. For all of us. I wanna prove who I am. Who I always have, and haven't, been." Her words trailed off, and though they stayed vague it was clear she was hinting at what happened that fateful night. Through mutual agreement they'd not pushed themselves to talk about that day or those topics and instead let things happen naturally.

"I know we both have thought that things could never be like they were. And it's true, but I also can't believe it's entirely true. If there's something I am able to do to fix any small part of it I'll do it, mark my words, I'll-" her words thickened with pain and were eventually cut off entirely as the next contraction signaled it was time for the next child to begin making it's way into the world with only a short break after it's sibling had arrived. Grimacing and gritting her teeth Cae settled back down to bring the next life into the world, the previous determination written all over her face still holding on as her mind turned to a new task.

Zephyr knew nothing about the pains of childbirth, and knew he never would. What he did know, though, was the fear of losing his mate and his children, something he had suffered through before. He had survived, albeit barely, and he wasn't quite sure he could survive the same thing a second time. But there was nothing he could do other than wait and support Caelum, and he leaned a bit more into her as she gasped as another contraction wracked her body. At least he could provide her something to lean against as the first child struggled to arrive, watching with interest and worry alike as her body convulsed and then relaxed again. It was hard to make out anything about the first child other than its brown coat, a brief quiet that almost alarmed him, as she turned her head just slightly after cleaning the first pup. Her words were soft, barely audible at all over the sound of his own heartbeat ringing in his ears. "Nor did I ever stop missing you," he breathed quietly. There was truth to his words, but there was still much left unsaid. Perhaps they were things that he'd never say. He'd spent a long time loathing her, and an even longer time blaming her -- but buried deep beneath those feelings had always been love for her and the life they'd once had. If anything made him long to create that sort of life again, if not Caelum, then certainly their new children made him feel the same sort of determination now that shone in her eyes as she twisted to look at him. By the end of her words he found that he was smiling, almost sure that tears were welling up in his eyes. "Then we will be better than we were," he promised her quiet, but with certainty audible in his voice. At least now they only had to focus on taking care of themselves, and their children - the one already born and any others yet to be born. He wasn't given much time to reply to her thoughts before another wave of pain hit her. Instead of talking, unsure if she would want the distraction from what she needed to focus on, instead he fell silently and leaned back into her, his head draping over her back and holding her close. Zephyr didn't doubt that she could get through this, perhaps even without his comfort but he knew too that his presence would only help. "Talk" "You" Think

It was odd how somehow after her first litter she found comfort in knowing that it was at least a familiar pain she faced with those that followed. Even now, with her age hanging over her, Caelum at least was glad she knew what she was doing here. Had she not had children before this would have been a terrifying experience, but as things were with Zephyr by her side Cae was not nearly as worried as she'd expected to be when the time came. The pup by her side seemed content, nosing about weakly as newly born creatures do, emitting the occasional grunt or squeal that sent a pang straight to her heart. She didn't have much time to fawn over the babe before she was distracted by the continuing contractions.

It took longer than she would have liked, this second birth threatening at times to become an issue but she soldiered on, face tense with concentration and breathing labored. Something about the first pup was nagging at her, though she did not have the time - nor the ability in her present state - to figure out what. By the time the next child made it's way into the world she was certain something was amiss. The second child did not react to her touch, even with much prompting and licking. She knew it was an exercise in futility but still she persisted for a while on the off chance she could do something, anything, to help the little one she knew deep down would not be moving now or ever. Leaning back into Zephyr she was wracked with sobs that she thought would destroy her lungs. It was then that she realized what was concerning her about the first child. It wasn't really nursing anymore. At first it had attempted several times and succeeded but now it would lay there weakly and Caelum was all but certain it was not long for this world. She remained wordless, pressing herself as close to Zephyr as physically possible, wishing to bury herself in his warmth and familiar presence and escape the harshness of this reality if only for a moment.

There had been a pause, a fairly normal span of time between births, one that appeared to be ending as that oh so familiar pain returned for another round and Caelum found herself wondering why two hadn't been enough and if she could bear losing anyone else. Even someone who only existed for a few minutes. Taking in a sharp breath, she steeled herself for what she knew lay ahead, muscles tensing slightly and expression growing more determined. As she came out the other side of this first wave of pain Caelum had decided the answer was no. She couldn't lose anyone else. So she wouldn't. This one was going to be fine. It was going to be healthy. It was going to live. Live a long and happy life, and she'd be damned if she let any other possibility come to pass. When at last the final pup was born Caelum relaxed, breathing heavily and laying against Zephyr for a minute to regain some energy spent on this birth. Turning to look at the last of her offspring, Caelum found a little brown girl, with what appeared to be a faintly black head though she couldn't be sure at this time, and small white markings. Pulling the little girl to her belly Caelum sighed heavily, exhaling the tension from within and lay her head down for a while after washing the child quite thoroughly. Softly she murmured, "What... What do we name her?"

No matter how many times they had done this, it didn't stop a stifling fear from grabbing hold of him, and couldn't subdue the nervous excitement that bubbled within his stomach as he waited for the next child to come. Part of him wondered if he was even more afraid that Caelum was - at least she knew what the pain was like, and knew what she could endure. He wished he could tend to the child that lay at her belly, but knew better than to break her concentration. It wasn't immediately apparent that anything was wrong - the soft sounds that had left its mouth grew quiet, though his attention was captured by the contractions that suddenly arrived again, another child entering the world. Somehow Zephyr had been so focused on the arrival of life, having never anticipated losing a child so quickly, and the sobs that suddenly took hold of Caelum took him by surprise. It took a moment too long for him to realize what was happening, that the one moving child was suddenly still, though the second seemed to be moving with much more vigor. He had no time to mourn, no time to truly process - his focus was on comforting Caelum, on pressing his head tighter against her own and pulling her just a bit closer to him and keep her grounded until this was over. It was all he could do to just swallow hard and press his eyes closed for a moment, knowing he had to be strong for her now. He wasn't sure how long it was, but after some time she was still, with two wriggling children and one painfully still one. Despite the heavy feeling of loss that suddenly ravaged him as Caelum leaned back against him, he was overwhelmed with joy too. He hadn't truly felt so happy in a long time, since he'd been a different wolf entirely. Zephyr sighed, letting out a worried breath that he'd been holding. He considered it for a moment; it'd been something he'd been musing over for the last few weeks, only to himself though. "She should be called Caelestis," he suggested softly, gazing at her for input. "Talk" "You" Think