ardent

what now?



Ara

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10-19-2017, 10:16 AM (This post was last modified: 10-19-2017, 10:17 AM by Ara.)
Fiori was gone. Slowly Ara had noticed things changing, had noticed a lack of leadership and of cohesiveness among the group, but it was far easier to ignore those things than give them much consideration. It wasn't like she could do anything to change the course of things, anyway. And even if she could - would she? Today was the first day that it struck her, as she woke up and made her way out of her den. The scent of pack wolves had grown considerably less noticeable as of late, but it seemed even more desolate here than she remembered it. It was hard to stop the slight frown that tugged at her lips as she wandered across the lands, searching for any familiar scents that might remain. They were few and far between, and it hit her suddenly and painfully that the pack she had known as home for so many years no longer existed. Even if a few wolves remained, it was not the same - she felt a heavy sense of dread and longing touch her heart suddenly.

Ara didn't know what to do now. Somehow she had maintained her composure over the years, through Novel's disappearance and the constant lack of presence from both of their sons. Fiori had been a refuge for her, a familiar place to call home despite feeling often isolated here, knowing that at least if Novel returned she too would have a home and know exactly where to find Ara. Now, she wondered how she might hang on to even a semblance of normalcy. She felt tears sting at her eyes, though she squinted, refusing to let them fall. Only when she caught a whiff of Athena's scent did the slight panic she'd felt building in her chest subside. They'd been planning a trip away for awhile, but they'd expected a pack to return to. Now, she wasn't sure Athena would even want to go - she didn't know much of anything anymore. Spending far too long debating even calling for her, she let out a bark for her friend once her scent grew stronger, knowing she was nearby.






Athena I

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10-20-2017, 12:28 PM


The first time her home had dissolved around her she had at least known it was going to happen and there had been a reason. One she hadn't agreed with, but at least there had been a cause. The quiet air around the pack had been lingering for a while, but slowly she noticed that as she did patrols and surveyed the pack it was only her own scent she was finding at the borders. The collective scent of the pack was all but gone and the realization that there was no longer a pack around her hit her like a falling tree. Fiori had been the last reminder of Amalia and now it was gone.

She felt numb as she moved slowly through the mangroves. She still had Jayne and Tiburtius to look after so her first concern and thought was where would she take her family. Although... They didn't really need her now, did they? Jayne had already proven that she could be on her own and Tiburtius was more than capable of doing so. Archelaus was scarce anyway so she could only assume that he was fine as well. Where did that leave her?

A now familiar bark caught her attention and her head lifted so that her gaze could land on the gold and black woman a moderate distance away. The tension in her shoulders lessened when she saw that Ara was still here and she hurried over to her. "I'm so happy to see you," she said truthfully as she gently pressed her nose to Ara's cheek. She vaguely remembered how strange it had felt to show any kind of affection when her and Ara first talked, but that didn't even cross her mind right now. For a moment she was at a loss for words. This had been her home for so long that she didn't know how to respond. When her first pack had been disbanded Amalia had been there to guide them here. Now she had no back up plan. "What are you going to do?" she asked softly after a moment of silence. She didn't specifically mention the fact that the pack was gone, but she didn't feel like she had to.

"Talk" "You" Think



Ara

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10-23-2017, 06:11 PM
Ara hoped quite desperately that the glint of tears had disappeared from her eyes. It wasn't even that Fiori in particular had meant a lot to her - it was a shame she hadn't gotten to know more of her packmates in the years that she'd been here - but the pack had simply been something to cling on to. After everything else that had meant something to her had gone away, it gave her some semblance of normalcy and hope to hang on to. Now, she largely felt like she had nothing left, and she felt a strange sense of hopelessness and dread that she had been fighting for some time, now weighing heavy on her heart.

Her mood was substantially lifted when she saw Athena, though to say she was anywhere near happy would be a stretch. Still, she managed a weary smile, and instead of flinching at Athena's touch she welcomed it, twisting her head to return the simple touch.   "I'm happy to see you too," she admitted without hesitation. There were few wolves left that she cared for - most had been gone for so long that it was hard to even remember how long it had really been - and Athena was slowly becoming one of them. As the years went on, it was growing harder to let anyone in, though somehow since she and Athena had been through some of the same things, their friendship blossomed quite naturally.

Athena's question caught her slightly by surprise, though she ought to have anticipated it. What was she going to do? Truthfully, she had no idea.  "I considered staying, but.." Ara's words were followed by a soft sigh.  "There's too many memories here." Both good ones and bad ones, though the best ones seemed too far in the past to recollect perfectly now.   "Perhaps I'll travel awhile. I've always enjoyed that." Mostly in the company of Novel, and usually just quick trips - enough to get a bit of wanderlust out of her system before returning to the safety of her home.   "What about you?" Her gaze was bright and curious as she asked, her head tilting to watch her carefully.  She knew Athena had children, though they were grown like her own and seemed to have been scarce for some time, so she wasn't sure if anything would keep her here either.





Athena I

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12-01-2017, 06:06 AM
”There’s too many memories here.” That resonated with Athena more than she wanted to admit. Everywhere she looked she saw Amalia and her family and their children. For the longest time that was the reason that she stayed so she could cling to those memories, but now it felt like it was haunting her. She really didn’t have an answer at first when Ara turned the question back toward her. Her thoughts had been similar to Ara’s - should she stay or try traveling for a while? Her first instinct had been to stay for her children in case they came back... but she knew most of them wouldn’t and if they did they didn’t need her. They were all grown adults now. Even her youngest were old enough to be having their own babies now.

”I don’t think I want to stay,” she finally replied after what was probably a longer pause than she realized. She glanced at the empty land around them and only felt sadness. ”I don’t know where else to go, but I know I don’t want it to be here.” She looked back to Ara with a slight smile. ”I still owe you a trip to the North, don’t I? It could be worth it to wait until Spring, but... I’d still like to travel with you if you want to.” Ara had quickly become her only real friend. She honestly didn’t know who else she would stay with if not with Ara. Perhaps Jayne, but her daughter had been on her own for quite a while now. Athena was sure her headstrong girl wouldn’t want to cling to her mother’s side for long. “I suppose I would want to find a new pack eventually, but I’m not in a hurry for it.”



Ara

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12-02-2017, 02:28 PM
Ara was grateful to be distracted by Athena, feeling the slight burn of tears slowly dissipate. It was far easier to pull herself out of her own weary thoughts when she was able to focus on another - it gave her mind something else to worry about and fret over. It was far better than imagining her own sorrows, than picturing her wife and sons - where they were, if they were well or even alive - and better than hanging on to the slim, painful possibility that they might return home someday.

She shook her head, as much to rid her own thoughts as anything else. "Then.. perhaps we ought to leave." Her inflection was a touch uncertain, but mostly just inquisitive, testing the waters to see if Athena had similar ideas before she spoke them herself. Ara had spent more than enough time on her own, and even in Fiori she'd spent a large part of her time either holed up in her den or outside of the borders, using herb collecting as an excuse to keep to herself. She was old enough to know that her own company wasn't enough to satisfy her; she'd always been happier when she'd had a companion, even if not a romantic one. She was an introverted wolf, but one that enjoyed the company of a select few.

And it seemed Athena had similar ideas. "Traveling with you does sound nice," Ara took no time in admitting this to her, the corners of her lips turning up in a genuine smile. The expression was small, but her gratitude was plain. Her blue gaze fixed on Athena's, listening to her suggestions. "Perhaps we can wander a bit until we find something that suits us." She was in no hurry either, but spending more time with Athena sounded far better than doing it alone - and she'd never been the stubborn type, so she had no problem pretending that being alone sounded terrible right now. "Thank you, by the way," she said, a bit softer now, her gaze dropping to the earth before lifting back up to catch Athena's own. "I'm.. really quite tired of being on my own. So thank you for the offer."






Athena I

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12-05-2017, 08:33 PM


Athena hestitated for a moment, but she finally nodded in agreement when Ara mentioned that they should leave. It was a hard thing to accept after living here for so long, but it was the best thing to do at this point. She smiled softly when Ara admitted that traveling sounded nice. She was happy to hear that since she honestly wouldn’t know what else to do if she didn’t agree. Of course she was plenty capable of traveling on her own, but it didn’t sound nearly as appealing.

"That sounds great,” she agreed. For once in her life she had nothing keeping her in one place or keeping her from doing anything she wanted to. In a way it was a blessing and a curse. She generally liked having a responsibility to something and she’d like to have her children here to be that responsibility, but since they weren’t she might as well take advantage of their new found freedom.

Her brows lifted a little with surprise at Ara’s thank you, but her expression quickly softened into a gentle smile. "No need to thank me. I’m just glad to have someone to be with. If anything I should be thanking you for pulling me out of my funk.” She grinned and nudged Ara’s shoulder with her nose as she tried to lighten the mood and keep everything from getting too heavy. Everything had been so serious lately that she just wanted to get going and relax. "Come on, lets get going. Maybe we go play in the snow a bit before we head back to warmer lands, huh?” As long as their was no objections Athena turned and headed north... for the first time in a really long time.

"Talk" "You" Think



Ara

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12-11-2017, 09:51 AM
It was comforting, at the very least, to know that Athena was a kindred spirit - even if what they had both gone through was relatively unspoken, at least Ara knew that someone else could understood the depths of her heartache. Not that she'd be comfortable admitting such a thing out loud; her grief was largely a private matter, pushed back somewhere in the back of her mind lest it decide to surface and devour her whole.

She smiled softly at Athena's agreement, even if it was timid and with a touch of sadness. Ara could relate, and wouldn't be the least bit offended even if Athena decided to change her mind. She was equally as uncertain about it all, but what she didknow was that she couldn't stand to stay here any longer. The sort of nostalgia this place brought her was painful rather than comforting, and she knew it was no good for her - or for either of them, it seemed - to remain. Her smile grew at the other woman's words, saying she should be thanking her instead, to which she promptly shook her head.  "Then we'll just have to settle for thanking each other," she replied with a hint of playfulness, leaning slightly into her touch.

She was glad at the shift in mood; she'd spent far too long sulking, buried by her own dark thoughts, and the thought of something simply like playing in the snow.. well, Athena's mood was definitely contagious.   "Playing in the snow sounds quite nice," Ara admitted with a gentle chuckle. It'd been a long while since she'd simply relaxed and taken the time to enjoy her surroundings and simply the beauty of living, that the thought of doing it again made her feel a flutter of excitement in her stomach. She turned to nudge Athena's shoulder gently, before they started off together.