I've got fire in my soul
06-27-2018, 10:31 PM
That morning she woke up early, before even the first glimmer of sunlight could be detected over the horizon. Pulling herself to her paws she turned northward, shaking the dirt from her pelt while a sinking feeling seemed to stab through the pit of her stomach. Hunger gnawed insistently at her gut, but the woman was already moving, setting her course and staying it. In the low light of pre-dawn she traveled the familiar territories of Auster for what seemed like ages, so when the first rays of morning light finally rose from their slumber to color the sky with their brilliant morning palate Iskra was already able to see the Bifrost. She thought as she walked, limbs feeling heavier with every step that brought her closer to the faintly shimmering sands. Memories of the time when she first made Auster her home flooded her. Dragon. The name brought a wave of guilt. Did she not look for him sooner because she didn't care about him as much as she thought she did? Or was it because she lost the feelings somewhere in the time between their last starlit meeting and now? No, that wasn't it. Heaving a sigh, she stepped onto the sandy ground, crossing quickly in the bright morning light that made the sand shine almost blindingly with it's reflection. So, what was wrong with her? Obviously something was wrong if she was still here. Wasn't like she was busy these days, mostly she was busy feeling sorry for herself and the painful numbness she felt inside. Legs shaking, she entered the woods on the other side, sticking to the briars on the right that would more easily lead her to the east. Trudging through the brush, she sought the highest point in the area. Her limbs were sore from wandering so far, but she pushed through it and quickened her pace. Nausea hit her, stomach seeking to revolt as the disgust she felt for herself only seemed to get worse. Reaching the top, Iskra sank to the ground, face contorted in a look of pain mixed with that all-consuming guilt. She wanted to toss out blame for her suffering like candy. Some to Dragon, because part of her wished she at least knew he'd come looking for her or something. Some to those Abraxas who seemed to have the touch of death wherever they laid their filthy paws, bringing an end to her home, her relationship, and multiple packs. Hadn't they even killed an alpha? Oh how she wanted to selfishly cast the blame everywhere else. But she couldn't. Everything was, in large part, her fault. Iskra fucked up. She became so indecisive and stuck with her own worries about being a disappointment that she let those thoughts make her into one. How stupid was that? Where was the fearless Iskra she was supposed to be? Right now she felt like just dying. Pushing herself up to a sitting position the woman steadied herself, ensuring she wouldn't fall over or throw up or something else uncouth or graceless. Parting her jaws, Iskra threw back her head and loosed a screaming growl, venting her frustration while her toes splayed and claws dug into the dirt. As the guttural sound died in her throat, she took a shuddering breath before renewing it, louder.
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