As time passed Saren noticed that his siblings were becoming more and more social while he seemed to be becoming less so. He had met a couple wolves here and there, but he wasn’t sure if he enjoyed the experience or not. An outlier though he may be Saren was still a pup and he feared what that might mean as he grew up. Were his siblings going to keep advancing while he just hid away and became a hermit? Was he going to become an old wolf who yelled at everyone he met? Saren’s mind was riddled with these kinds of thoughts, it took quite a bit to get him out of his own head. He was way too mature for a pup and this worried him at times, would he ever be normal?

The fact that one of his sons seemed to be a bit less social than the others wasn't something that had gone at all unnoticed to Typhon. All of his children seemed different in their own ways, though Saren reminded him moreso of himself at his age than his other children did. All that mattered was that he pulled his own weight in the Empire, particularly when the eyes of the higher-ranking members were on him. He was still young enough that it likely didn't matter quite so much how well he was integrating with the rest of their family, but Typhon knew it would matter eventually and that was what worried him the most. More than once Malleus had spoke of returning to their old customs, and it was painful to recall his own childhood and just how long it had taken him to get where he was today - it was a fate he wouldn't condemn his children to, not if he could help it.

Perhaps he was worrying needlessly... anxious was a word that definitely described him, though he'd learned to conceal it quite well. Either way, checking in with his son didn't strike him as such a bad deal. Musing to himself, he veered around one of the many crumbling walls of the castle, sniffing at the air as he grasped onto Saren's scent and followed him to where he currently was hiding out. "Son," he greeted him lightly, once he drew near, brows weaving together in concern. "It's a beautiful day outside. What are you doing holed up in here?" His voice wasn't accusing, but rather laced with thoughtful concern as he eyed his son.

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Saren didn’t notice the presence of his father until he heard his voice calling “Son”. Saren didn’t consider himself close to either of his parents, they were just kind’ve there the same way he was. It made sense that he was called son as opposed to his name. His father asked what he was doing inside as opposed to outside. Saren did like the outside more than the inside, but he didn’t feel like going outside right now because it was just harder to be out there.

Looking in the direction of his father Saren began to form a reply to his question, “I don’t know, I like the outside but inside just felt better today. Why did you find me? I like being alone.” Saren’s expression lie somewhere between hurt and sadness. He was living in a life of his own making, but he was too young to understand that.

Fatherhood was a new concept to Typhon, and he was slowly beginning to learn exactly what it meant. He worried sometimes that he was lacking something, but the role of father felt as though it was something that had been destined for him by some greater power. Failing wasn't a possibility, at least not in his mind. His expression was thoughtful as he got a better view of Saren, wondering what precisely was going on in his son's mind. Just knowing would be harder than trying to pry, and he wasn't particularly fond of seeming like an overbearing parent.

"Including yourself isn't always easy, but sometimes.. you have to push yourself outside of your comfort zone." When had he become so.. introspective? This was advice he wished he'd been given when he'd been young. Instead he felt as though he'd been shunned, his anxieties overflowing until they'd become the core of his identity, until banishment had been his father's only fitting solution. He'd been left to die, really - but he'd shown strength and persevered even when he'd been too young to be realistically left on his own.

He couldn't imagine letting Saren suffer a similar fate. But he had no doubt some of the higher-ranking Abraxas members would suggest an introverted, uncooperative member of the family be changed... or culled. The word made him feel a hard-to-ignore prickle of fear at the back of his mind. "I like being alone sometimes, too," he admitted quietly, moving to sit near Saren without overcrowding his personal space. "I thought I'd always be alone, in some way, until I met your mother. It's possible to find wolves you don't feel uncomfortable around. But the others? You need to learn to fake it," he spoke more seriously now, eyeing Saren to judge his response to his advice.

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His father began to speak and Saren could tell this had been coming for a while. He knew about his family’s religion and he believed it, but it hadn’t occurred to him that his mannerisms might not be accepted. His father went on to talk about how there were wolves that existed that he could feel comfortable with. Saren hadn’t met any of these wolves yet, granted he hadn’t made much of an effort either. What if he couldn’t meet anyone like that though? Even if he could chances were that he wouldn’t find them in this pack and it would be ages before he could leave.

At the mention of faking it Saren began to question what that would mean for him, say he never met anyone he felt comfortable around and always had to fake it. Wouldn’t that mean he was building his life off of a lie? Lying his whole life didn’t seem right. Looking at his father with questioning eyes “I don’t want to build my life off of a lie. If I don’t find anyone like that and I spend my whole life faking it, isn’t that just the same as living it?”

Typhon could very nearly feel Saren's discomfort as he spoke, and the feeling pained him more than he wanted to let on. Dion and Thalia seemed driven enough to succeed in the Empire, under the watchful eye of his kin, but Saren worried him. He was different - in a way that Typhon himself had always felt different, and imagining him being cast away, or something far worse, made his skin crawl with intense discomfort.. discomfort he hoped wasn't betrayed on his features right now.

Learning to 'fake it,' so to speak, was an important skill - though Saren's question made him pause. "We live for our God before ourselves," he answered, after a long pause, trying to dredge up words that would hopefully help ease Saren's worries. "And being a productive Abraxas - if that means you have to fake it... well, it's less you living a lie and more... you being dutiful," he told his son gently. That was how he had always viewed it. He hadn't been angry that he'd been cast away for being himself; he'd viewed it as an opportunity to become something more. Something better.

"I'm not saying to not be yourself. Don't think that. Just.. put a small effort in and you'll be rewarded," he assured him, leaning down to nudge his son gently. He hoped he understood what he meant. "Why don't you come for a little walk with me? Around the castle?" He'd seen the way Saren had shied away from the rougher games played by his siblings, and decided he wouldn't force him into something he wasn't comfortable with. Just a walk, and more conversation, hopefully.

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The concept of living for their god before themselves, he’d heard it before, but he never really understood why. If being a productive Abraxas meant lying to himself then he didn’t want to be one. Saren wanted to see things as they were, not what they could be. He didn’t care about rewards, sure they were nice but they weren’t something he desired. He couldn’t really say no to a walk so he stood up, taking his time.

“I want to be productive, but I want to be it on my terms. I don’t want to be told something’s productive, I want to figure it out for myself. I don’t see the point in fighting or being mean like everyone else seems to. There has to be something out there for me, but I haven’t found it yet.”

The Abraxas had changed. Typhon knew that. Neither Malleus nor Ashiel, two wolves within the Empire that he greatly looked up to, would cast away a child because of supposed weakness, as his father had done.. right? He didn't know Pyrrhic well but he saw a streak of harshness in him that made him wonder if things were shifting back to the ways of the old. That was a world Saren wouldn't thrive in, and the thought made a faint prickle of worry tug at the back of his mind. Pushing Saren too far wouldn't help him, though.

Perhaps the boy was right. He needed to figure it out on his own terms - Typhon could only hope he would figure it out sooner rather than later. He was quiet and still for a long moment as they walked together, hoping Saren couldn't feel the anxiety that was suddenly plaguing him. "You don't need to fight if you don't want to - but you do need to learn to defend yourself, and protect your family if you find yourself in a situation where you need to. Your mother and I won't be strong forever."

He'd never thought much about his own mortality, but having children had forced him to.. and he didn't like the thought of them being vastly unprepared for the world, in the off-chance that God took him and Zinnia sooner than he anticipated. He needed to make sure they were ready, in ways he worried the rest of his family couldn't. "Keep looking, son. You'll find it." He truly believed that, and his words were earnest as he leaned down to nuzzle Saren's neck gently.

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