She hadnt been drunk since that night that had lead her and Rhyme into something they never would have done sober she didnt know what had lead her to it now, but she had found the fermented grapes well searching for herbs and she had taken a few to take the edge off her pains. They had been stronger then she had expected them to be, and she was lying now under the stars, the last of the day having slept her by without her realizing.

She looked up at the constellations, and she could see Motif, her old warrior mother, running across the blanket of night. She looked stern, as she so often had before her father had mellowed her out. She remembered the arguments she had had with her mother, most of which had centered around Rhythm. "Would you be proud of me, of what I've achieved here? Or would you just see the screw ups?" She asked the night air, "well screw you!"she yelled, throwing one of the old pieces of fruit into the distance, laughing as it squished into a tree, laughing to ignore the tears that streaked down her face, and dampened her muzzle.

She didnt want to feel like an old wolf, with pains and misery looking back at her past with regret. Missing all the opportunities she had let go, and wondering where her path had gone wrong.

Theory had been running about herding puppies for what felt like months but, in reality, had only been the entire day. They really took a lot out of a wolf! It had her seriously reconsidering whether she ever wanted children of her own. What a handful... all that, and they still might grow up and decide to hate you or kill their siblings. Her thoughts drifted bitterly to Noir while she hunted for Shaye to report back on how the puppies were doing.

Well screw you! Theory ducked to dodge a piece of fruit. It hit the tree behind her with a wet thud. She peered around and found Shaye basking in the starlight. "Uh, Shaye...?" she ventured, edging out from the forest and closer to where her co-alpha was busy having a late-in-life crisis. "Is everything alright?" The fermented fruit smelled strange and foreign to her. Had she been poisoned? Ugh, great. Another instance where more herb knowledge might have helped. "W-were you poisoned?" Theo asked nervously, stepping closer.

The drunk old wolf didnt notice Theory immediately, lost as she was in the workings of her mind, and the pains she had been shoving down for so long now. The flood gates had opened, and everything that had made her miserable for seasons was coming out. It was the threat of death, hanging over her, brought to the forefront by the most recent catastrophe that had struck the pack, that unhinged her. She had done so much wrong, and here she was, out of time to fix them. As if fixing them had ever been an option.

"I can feel your shadow" she whispered to death. He was an old friend of hers by now, they where well acquainted. He had already taken so much from her already. It was only a matter of time before he came back for her. She turned and looked at the moving figure, only to realise it had been Theory all along. She blinked groggily at the girl, had she spoken? It took a moment for the words to register. "No... not poison. It's an anesthetic, its numbing. You should try it" she shook the bottle next to her, that she had grabbed to collect water for some of the younger and older wolves of the pack. Instead, she had filed it with alcahol.

She grinned at the girl, but there was too much sadness in it to call it a smile. "I believed that the world was nothing but good once, when I was your age. I collected feathers, and gave them to everyone I met. I knew no evil, and therefore did not fear it."

Theory considered herself brave, but certainly not unshakable. Shaye's attitude perturbed her greatly; she depended on her for guidance and a shoulder to lean on. The tables had turned - it seemed that now Shaye needed her more than ever. Theo swallowed her intrinsic fear and stepped closer to Shaye. Whose shadow?

"It's just my shadow," she murmured. Was she seeing something that Theory couldn't? The young alpha stepped closer and nudged Shaye's should. "May I sit with you?" The question was a formality. Without waiting for an answer, Theory settled in beside Shaye, ready to listen to whatever she had to say. An anesthetic didn't sound very appealing - Theo preferred to have all of her wits about her. "No thank you," she replied, trying to be polite.

Shaye seemed off her rocker. The younger girl gulped, her ears twitching too and fro as she processed what she was telling her. "Well, that's silly," Theo couldn't help but scoff. "The world isn't all good, but it isn't all bad, either. There is plenty of both." After Tana's death and Noir's explosive lashing out... and poor Verse, lost in the middle, Theory had experienced her fair share of hardship. But she had grown so close to Poem and Shaye and Rhyme, even in the crossfire of all the bad. "I might be young but I'm not stupid... I don't think you would have picked me if I was," she said, a bit hurt. Then again, had Shaye even had any other options? Poem was dead set on finding Motif, and it wasn't in Shaye's nature to forbid a noble cause like that.

Noir obviously wasn't a candidate and Verse had made herself so scarce that Theo often overlooked her sister entirely. A severe twinge of guilt wracked her. "Or was I just the only option?"

Theory, unaware of the presence of death, whos wings had fled with the presence of the young girl, would eye her warily. She answered Shaye as through her question had been for her, but the older wolf just knocked a paw against the closest tree, eyes a little glazed over, and didn’t explain herself.

Shaye didn’t give a yes or a no to the girl, but she sat regardless. Her young form, an inch taller than Shaye, was lean and strong and young. There was the start of wiry muscles that hinter of warrior training, and a youth in her gaze that could make any old wolf envious. It was yet another reminder that Shaye’s generation was done, and Theory’s would have a chance now to burn brightly, to make something of this world in a way Shaye never could.

The Abaven Heir spoke, her words a gentle rebuke, and Shaye only smiled at her. “No, your raising wasn’t as kind as mine. You had to learn fast” she admitted, an acknowledgment that her words hadn’t been a comparison to Theory’s life, only a parallel from which to see one side and then the other of who Shaye had been, to who she was now.

“You were never the only option, you are so young, and I could have picked an older wolf. I could have picked Corvus, who has been here as long as I was absent. Ody, who has always had a hero’s heart. Brandr, who wants stability for his family.” she said, naming a few of the wolves who stood out to her in Abaven. “But none of them have the same passion for change as you do. For bettering what already exists. You look at something, and you think ‘I can improve on this’ Abaven needs that, more than ever” she told the young girl, pride for Theory in her voice. “Some of us…” she paused, and Shaye’s name seemed almost spoken on the air. “Can not stop living in the past, remembering what was, and wishing things could be again. Some of us have lost too much to hope for a brighter future, a point that moves us so much further past where those we had lost had been.” there were tears in her eyes, and voice, but she ignored them, instead, she shook her head and smiled at Theory. The expression was just a little too wide, to false, and she tapped the bottle between them. “You sure?” she asked, before grabbing another lick of the bitter liquid.

Theory nodded in sullen agreement when Shaye said that she'd had to grow up fast. It was true, even she could see that. Tana's death had rocked the Destructions. Rhyme hadn't really recovered yet, as far as she could tell. Noir and Verse had fled in what felt like the direct aftermath but she slowly realized was actually months later. It felt like it was all happening so fast at the time, but in reality the days had crawled by. Sour emotions had been left to brew and had never been tended to properly. That was what happened when you let things go to seed - they grew and sometimes became strange and unexpected. Shaye's words strengthened the resolve she had already felt when she'd been asked about becoming heir. The fire that her alpha partner spoke of was real and very much alive in the young Destruction. Still, she often wondered why Shaye hadn't picked one of the other, older wolves she'd mentioned. They all had leagues more experience than she did. "I'll be sure to learn as much as I can from all of them," she said somberly. Odysseus was an experienced warrior. Theo made a mental note to call on him soon if he had any spare time, although she doubted that was likely. Everyone had their paws full with new duties. "But knowing the past is important," she said, a hint of annoyance in her voice. Why was Shaye acting like this? Was it the sour-smelling liquid? "It's important for guiding and shaping the future. How else can we know where we're going if we're not positive about where we came from?" It made perfect sense to her, but she hadn't lived Shaye's life. The struggle of another was impossible to know. She couldn't see where her alpha partner was coming from without experiencing the same losses and trials. Was the way she was acting because of that strange smelling liquid? Theory leaned in as Shaye offered and sniffed again. No, it was absolutely foul. There wasn't any way she'd be drinking that. "Um, no thanks," she reiterated. Theory settled in next to Shaye, resting her head on the alpha's shoulder. "Together we'll guide Abaven into a prosperous future. Maybe somewhere far away from the volcano," she joked. "Speech"