your poker face ain't fooling nobody
rara
Internally, emotionally, he felt free not having the weight of her death upon him. He clung to the feeling despite what it was doing to him physically. He was always chasing after her. Just one more glimpse and one more touch.
He hadn’t slept in days now, and as his tall frame clamored over a rough root system the titan fell into the muck below. It was a struggle to right himself, and as he pulled his paws beneath him the near mud stuck readily to his fur. He pressed onward though, sure he could hear Shaye’s laugh just up ahead.
With her business with her sister taken care of Samara finally turned her gaze towards Abaven, towards home, though she'd still never admit it. The woman hadn't been sure how to go about returning. Though she'd spent much of her time underground sheltering from the volcano she wasn't certain the network of tunnels, elaborate as it was, would connect her to anywhere close to the pack, and even if they did she didn't trust herself not to simply get lost. But there was also the desert, to skirt the worst of the fallout from the eruption she'd be forced to move through the desert and even into the northern regions of the continent not only would that take her longer to get back she didn't particularly fancy the idea of braving the extra cold the calamity had wrought. Samara also only had a small store of herbs to help with her joint pain, a gift from Deathbelle and one she desperately needed, having depleted her store long long ago, and she wasn't keen on pushing her luck on that again. So eastward it was, but that meant getting closer to the volcano than was really comfortable. She tried her best to give herself as much space as she could but one particularly harrowing day on the shoreline had taught her that the water wasn't safe either. So she'd tried to establish a happy medium, inland but not too close to the big angry fire mountain. Though being this close to the volcano had started to bring out the memories of the time she'd been along its base. Rhyme's face returned to her frequently. She could remember the sort of flustered shyness he'd shown back then, how he'd laughed at her joke. The strength of his limbs as he'd supported her weight. The kindness he'd shown a total stranger. The ache to her pride, of having been discovered so totally helpless as she had been had dulled to the point of disappearing over the time she'd spent in Abaven, she'd never been comfortable being so dependent but she'd come to be okay with it around him... There was some bitterness there too though, he'd kept her at more of an arm's length when she'd left than even that first day. Samara knew there was much on his mind, that he was struggling under the weight of so much but it almost hurt, that she'd learned to be okay with the idea of vulnerability in his presence and he clearly didn't feel the same. She was so wrapped in her thoughts that she didn't notice the familiar scent that reached her as she maneuvered carefully among the roots. It wasn't until the hulking familiar form of Rhyme himself was in front if her that Samara stopped. She stared for a moment, uncertain she simply wasn't imagining. Then she moved a bit closer, still a fair ways away. "Rhyme?" She asked, her voice strong but uncertain. He looked like shit, he was covered in gunk and the parts of him not wet with mud had clearly not been cared for in some time. There was something about the manic fervour of his movements, the way his gaze slid over whatever was in front of him without a single hitch that planted a deep seed of dread in her stomach... what had happened since she'd been away? |
Table Art by Vhitany |
”Sh…” no, this wasn’t her. ”Mara.” He finished, realizing vaguely who stood before him. Samara, his distraction from what he’d thought at the time were huge problems. None of it mattered now, not with.. he forced the thought away and looked back out into the mangroves. She was out there somewhere.
”Samara.” He said again, strengthening his grasp on reality as dulled gaze lingered on her petite form. He steadied himself, but realized quickly that to cease moving was to give into his exhaustion. His haunches fell heavily against the ground and his form slumped visibly as what little attention he was capable of focused on her.
Samara watched, her voice felt like it was trapped in her throat. Rhyme said her name, or well part of her name, his mind seeming to struggle with something she couldn't understand. He stopped though, and his azure and lavender gaze seemed to snag on her. There was a relief there, that he seemed to see her, even if he wasn't processing what he was seeing yet. Rhyme said her name again, and whatever mission he was on seemed to leak out of him. He stopped moving and almost instantly he slumped onto his haunches, as if his will to even so much as sustain himself had left with his goal. "Rhyme," Samara began, she took a few tentative steps towards him. The woman wanted nothing more than to rush to him, to start pulling the mud from his fur, to feel the warmth of his body and to try and pull him back to reality. Her heart was breaking and she was almost afraid he'd hear it. "Rhyme, what happened?" She had to know, had to start somewhere, her voice felt so weak, wavering under the strain of her worry. Her fear. By the look of him, something terrible. She suddenly worried for his children, had any more of them gone missing? Or worse? Was Abaven still standing? |
Table Art by Vhitany |
Rhyme wasn’t really lucid enough to realize the state he’d allowed himself to sink to. He didn’t see the wet mud caking his fur, or the distant gaze in his eyes. If he thought about any of that he had to think about his loss. Had to acknowledge the reality of his loss. He couldn’t bring himself to, he’d been offered a way out and he took it despite that it would eventually lead to his own demise. His mind made an attempt to form an answer as he watched the delicate woman with his depressive stare.
”The volcano.” He answered simply at first, but jumped slightly as Imperia suddenly landed on his shoulder. Even her light weight was too much and the aging man was forced to the ground, barely even conscious. The raven tsked lightly and offered her companion a quick nudge before hopping closer to Samara.
”Samara.” She cracked, her sharp gaze showing her concern. ”Much had happened in your absence. Noir and Verse are both gone. Noir of his own accord but no one is sure about Verse. Motif was found, but her sister has taken her place as captive. Shaye died in an accidental rock slide, and Rhyme hasn’t been the same since.” Imperia wasn’t often vocal, and the huge amount of words strained her voice. ”He’s not right, Samara.” Her worry was obvious as the midnight raven returned her gaze to the exhausted knight.
Rhyme gave a simple answer, too simple to understand what had happened. Luckily for Samara the man's raven would descend to explain what she could. The woman watched the bird carefully, feeling her heart sink. There was so much tragedy, and she didn't even have the time to really feel anything but heartbreak. "Oh Rhyme..." She said, her voice heavy with her emotion. This time she didn't stop herself from approaching him. She pushed up towards his torso, aiming to gently nose at the lower part of his chest, then slowly began to groom him there, provided he'd allow her. She didn't really know what else to do and she used the action to give herself time to think. She stopped briefly to look back at the raven. "Has he been sleeping much?" By his appearance she had to assume he hadn't. She gently started to hum, no particular tunes, simply whatever slow melodies came to her mind. It was all she could think to do right that moment, all she could think of that might start to sooth what was clearly his hurting soul. "Speak!" Think! |
Table Art by Vhitany |
The former alpha’s breathing evened, and slowly, enough that he wouldn’t disturb the tiny she wolf at his paws, he slid down into a sphynx like position. He was very tired, and likely wouldn’t be leaving that spot until he’d slept a couple hours or more.
”No, I don’t think he’s slept since he learned about Shaye.” The raven cracked sympathetically as she hopped closer to the pair of wolves. Rhyme seemed to react positively to the tiny Klein’s sweet voice. He lowered his head over her shoulders and whined softly, deep down he knew he was broken but in the same space didn’t want to break free of his dreamland. He seemed to relax as he hummed, and sleep would finally take him if she continued what she was doing.
Samara hardly reacted to the shift in Rhyme, mostly to avoid disturbing him. She could feel whatever fight was left in him drain out under her touch and for a moment longer Samara closed her eyes, breathing in his scent as she continued her slow methodical grooming. His weight shifted as he lowered himself, and she could begin to groom a bit higher on his chest. The woman continued her soft melody, simply letting the notes go where they wished. She hadn't ever displayed as much tenderness in her life as she did now. Her eyes drifted closed, though she didn't sleep, simply letting herself be comforted by her own work. The raven responded and Samara acknowledged her only with a tiny nod. Rhyme's weight started to spill onto her, his head resting on her shoulders. Samara kept at her gentle, delicate work. She would give it a bit longer but if Rhyme didn't doze off himself she'd ask the bird for help, her mind already considering the possible herbs she'd be looking for. Chamomile maybe, or Valerian root. Worst case a stone rich in Magnesium would help too. The truth was Samara was more adept at breaking a mind than she was at healing one. But dammit if she wasn't going to try. She was certain she couldn't just assume anything that would help a body would help him but surely sleep was the first step in helping Rhyme to heal. In that moment though she wasn't totally aware of it, Samara had started to accept she would do anything for this man, that she loved him. "Speak!" Think! |
Table Art by Vhitany |
-hours later-
”Rhyme? Rhyme. Rhyme!”
The once alpha’s eyes shot open at his name rang through his ears. He would have slept the next few days if allowed, but he felt completely awake. As he lifted his head he realized he wasn’t alone. Samara was tucked against his shoulder, her tiny form was warm against his thin fur. He placed his head back down, his mind clearer than it had been in weeks. However painful the pounding of his head was.
”Rhyme!” He jumped as he heard Shaye behind him and he quickly shifted to try and see her. Of course she was gone by the time he’d moved his head around, but it was enough that he felt the fog swallowing him back up. He had to find Shaye. Rhyme looked back to Samara again, his internal struggle pulling in both directions. He hurt if he chose reality and Samara and he would hurt if he chose Shaye and her phantom promises.
His body made the final decision, he wasn’t ready to stand yet. Rhyme found it easier to bury his nose in Samara’s scruff and focus on her perfumed scent. He wrapped his neck around her again, and held tight for all he was worth. Which wasn’t much anymore.
As she felt the weight of sleep move through Rhyme's body Samara kept up her gentle routine, her voice becoming softer as she tried not to disturb the man in his much-needed sleep. -hours later- Samara had promised herself she wouldn't fall asleep, that she'd stay awake and keep an eye on him, dreading the idea of waking to find him gone, beyond her gentle care. For a while, she'd managed that, keeping her slow pattern going and finding herself jolted by every twitch in Rhyme's sleep, suddenly afraid he was awake. But eventually, even she could not deny the sweet lull of sleep. Rhyme's sudden jump to wakefulness started to pull her back to reality as well, she mumbled lightly and tried, and failed to pull her eyes open. Her body trying to shrug off the dregs of dreams. Before her mind was totally awake the tune she'd fallen asleep humming returned to her throat, pulling sleepily from her lungs. Slowly she was able to rise to wakefulness, aware of the now tightened grasp she found herself in. She couldn't see Rhyme's face from her position, though she craned her neck to lick at his lower jaw gently, feeling her affection flow out of her in while she was still in that weird state of a slow rising when all the walls are still down. "Rhyme?" She asked softly, not wanting to wake him if he had simply shifted in his sleep but also knowing they couldn't lay here for the rest of their lives if he was awake. Not that she knew how to proceed if it turned out he was awake. "Speak!" Think! |
Table Art by Vhitany |
Her sweet touch sealed the deal and a bit of himself was freed from the cage that was supposed to have been his preservation. He breathed her in and let the rare beauty of realty hold him as long as possible. ”Samara.” He returned weakly. He needed to eat again, needed more sleep, but he clung to reasons not to chase after Shaye.
Slowly her mind was waking up but she didn't stop her gentle affection, maybe crossing a line but frankly at this point she was beyond caring. Rhyme had started drifting somewhere she couldn't follow, and she was desperate to keep him. If he went and couldn't return... well she didn't know what she'd do. He responded weakly to her call and Samara felt her heart squeeze, a loud shaking breath broke from her lungs as she felt a new wash of relief and worry. "I didn't wake you did I?" She asked, her voice soft but strained with all the stress she was carrying in that moment. She didn't really wait for his response, suddenly finding the words flowing from her mouth without her control. "Gods Rhyme I was so worried." Her voice cracked as she felt all her worry and fear erupt from her lips. "I'm so sorry I ever left, I just- I just wanted to do what I could to find Motif and then I got sidetracked and... I was on my way back when-" The image of him shambling across the landscape, his stunning gaze dull and blind. "I was so scared." She whispered, pushing her nose into the fun on his jaw, trying to hold onto the feeling of him there, holding onto her. Samara hadn't cried real tears in such a long time, she'd gotten so good at keeping them stored away only for when she needed them but like the words they had worked their way to the surface and whatever control she usually held was long gone. "I just didn't know what to do, I just did the first thing that came to my mind but I was so afraid you'd go somewhere I couldn't follow. Fuck, I don't know what I'd do without you Rhyme Cavaliere." There was so much guilt, if she'd been there when it had all gone down maybe she'd have been able to help him, keep him from falling so far into his grief and pain. Could have helped him manage better, been there to help support him. But she hadn't been. "I should never have left, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." A continuous chorus of whispered apologies dropped from her lips and she pulled her face to the other side, breathing her sorries and tears into his chest. Gods, what was she doing? This was probably not going to help, but it was too late, the flood gates had opened and she was simply along for the ride. "Speak!" Think! |
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Then she was crying. Rhyme felt the crystal tears soak into his fur as she confessed how much she needed him. He felt himself look up into the trees, Shaye was gone. The thought resonated within him. He suppressed his sorrow and in doing so suppressed all of his emotions. The self named Cavalier could hardly feel anything, but the tug of emotion in Samaras speech did much to bring him forward.
He simply shook his head as she fell into a flurry of apologies, she couldn’t have done anything to prevent his current state. She’d also being making an attempt to return his daughter, an effort that he appreciated even though the fog. His children meant the world to him and she was only trying to help alleviate his pain. She couldn’t have had any idea of what he would go through after. He struggled internally, a part of him clinging to Shaye and his illusions, the other yearned desperately for Samara. Half of him wished for death and half for life.
Rhyme knew that he had much to live for, his children were young and lost their mothers. Samara was right here in his embrace, admitting the need she had for his presence in the living plane. He still had a future, but he had to decide if he could live with his grief. Rhyme was still exhausted, emotionally and physically. His mind was too tired to seek out ghosts, so he pulled Samara closer and held onto her tightly because his life depended on it. ”Save me.” He pled softly, she was a light in the dark. A candle in the shadow that sought to devour him. ”Don’t go.”
Her chorus of apologies and sobbing grew softer the long it went on, but didn't staunch, not until she felt Rhyme pull her closer and gently plead her for salvation. Samara stopped speaking, though her tears didn't stop. Instead, she pulled her face from his chest fur, sniffing pitifully. Rhyme begged her not to go and she felt her heart break even further. She wanted to declare right then and there she'd never leave him, but could she promise that? No, even though Samara knew in this moment she'd never want to hurt him the woman also knew she couldn't promise anything she had no real control over. Instead, she tipped her head back to lick at his neck, her voice still cracking with the tears she couldn't stop. "I'm here Rhyme." She said softly. "I swear I'll do whatever I can to save you." That at least she could promise, she'd do everything in her power to help him. But she also knew it wasn't all up to her. "Rhyme, I'll need you to work with me. You're a healer..." She began, already dreading having to say the words on her lips but she knew she had to say it. "You know you can't save anyone who doesn't want to be saved." She felt her stomach twist in fear, what if after all this he rejected her attempts? "You have to want to be saved." |
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Did he want to be saved?
”I have to.” He didn’t want to admit to reality, more than anything he wanted to live in his fantasy. Rhyme wanted to be with Shaye. Samara’s warmth was intense though, and the old warrior was drawn to her vibrant life. Reality was cruel and harsh, but the little Klein woman was sweet and warm. The cold pull of death lessened as Rhyme dived into Rara and the cruel reality that came with her.
With a sharp gasp Rhyme seemed to burst through the icy cold surface between the hallucinogenic fog, and the clear pain of reality. Freedom was a long ways away, but coming through the veil was the first step. ”It hurts.” He muttered through grit teeth as battle waged invisibly beneath the surface. He buried his features into her thick fur, his dehydration even more evident as he sobbed tearlessly against her.
The moments after her words felt like an eternity. Could Rhyme pull himself to reality enough to tell her if he even could be saved? Worse yet, what if he chose absolution? What if he chose to give up? Finally, his voice broke her thoughts and Samara clung to his vocals with all her might. It wasn't the declaration of intent she was hoping for but she could work with it. It was enough. Then Rhyme gasped and Samara could feel a shift in him, something was dragging him into the cold harsh world of their shared reality and he muttered an indication of his pain. "It's going to." She said softly, continuing to shower him with gentle affection, desperate to keep him here. Desperate to make him cling to her as a life raft in the turbulent sea he'd started drowning in. "But with work and with time it'll hurt less." She couldn't promise it would go away... she'd seen grief too much to assume it ever would. Her own brother had vowed never to take another after his beloved died. "With time it'll be easier to move on." To whom she wouldn't dare say. Samara quickly covered it up with her follow up comment. "Rhyme, we can't stay here." As much as she would have been happy to never return to the watchful eyes of his family Samara knew they'd quickly die if they stayed here. The volcano was still rumbling ominously nearby and he was weak, they'd need food and water soon enough. "Speak!" Think! |
Table Art by Vhitany |
Thy held each other, Samara whispering to him as she told him moving on would be possible one day. Rhyme shook his head lightly still rejecting the truth as best he could. This was a long and tedious road they were going down, but Rara held onto him tightly. She was his guiding light, and vowed to see him through. The tiny woman reminded him they couldn’t remain here. There was no shelter and they were still in the mud.
Still Rhyme panicked inwardly. Shaye was out here somewhere and he needed to find her. He needed to make sure that she was safe. His heart raced in his chest as Samara continued her grooming and nuzzles and instead of leaping to his paws and racing further into the woods he focused on Samara. He had to keep her in his mind's eye, her subtle scent, her soft fur, and her sweet voice. She was all that kept him from self destruction in that moment.
”You’re right.” He whispered back through gritted teeth as he held her tightly to his chest. It was weird such a huge wolf taking strength from such a tiny woman. Did he have the strength to get back to his paws? Maybe, but he had to release Samara before he found out. He whined softly and clung to her, the great raven warrior laid his lowest.
Samara could tell that while her words had reached him, an affermative even dropping from his lips Rhyme wasn't ready to move. But Samara knew they had to move before they simply stayed here forever. "I'll be right here the whole time." She said softly, trying to reassure him. She nosed at him gently, lowering her head to gently caress his limbs, at the same time she'd slowly try to wiggle herself loose from his embrace, as much as she wished she could stay like that forever. "I'll stay glued to your side," she assured, "It'll be just like the first time we met, remember?" If he was going to exsist in the past she wanted to keep him away from whatever past was calling for him so strongly. And she was selfish she wanted to keep his thoughts on her. "At the time I didn't realize how lucky I was to come across you." Her tone was tender, pushing her luck again. Samara took a moment to turn her attention away from Rhyme, though substituted her gentle nuzzling with covering his paw with her own and gently rotating it. Any action to keep him rooted to her touch. She searched for the raven who had helped her earlier. Spotting Imperia in the trees nearby she called out to the bird, unsure if she was rousing her from her sleep or not but knowing she'd need the raven's help. "Can you scout ahead? Find someone from Abaven to help? I'll do everything I can to help him get back home but I cannot support his weight and I'm not sure he can either." "Speak!" Think! |
Table Art by Vhitany |
She kept him grounded, thoughts of Shaye and her ghost dissolved. Rhyme took a few deep breaths, willing his strength to return. Blue and lavender eyes lingered on her paw upon his and as she asked Imperia to go ahead of them Rhyme would make it to his paws with more than a bit of struggle.
Imperia was indeed nearby and would nod in acceptance of Samara’s words. She would take off and head in the direction of Abaven. Thankfully they were relatively close in the scheme of things.
The self named man found his paws and remained standing. His hulking frame looked almost small with how much the titan drooped. Still as she mentioned how lucky she was the woman seemed to break through. Rhyme felt that familiar nervous shiver as she hinted at what could blossom between them. He wasn’t near ready to pursue it in any way, but it was encouraging and he pulled himself further from the foggy muck.
”Let’s go.” He spoke hoarsely, but if they left before he fell back to the earth maybe he could keep moving.
-exit?-