As soon as Sirius was out of sight Deathbelle raced to Iolaire’s cabin, she wasn’t sure what kind of relief the woman might bring but if there was anyone who could comfort her it was her once love. Though she couldn’t help but think she was jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. Being so close to Sirius reminded her much too keenly on how distance Hannibal had been with her. She was alone in the palace a lot of the time, especially with her youngest children out and about in the world. Loneliness was becoming the norm and Deathbelle felt like she was becoming a shell.

She didn’t cry as her dainty paws brought her to the stone building, but as se came to a halt breathless the emotions she’d been holding back from Sirius rushed through her. She caught a sob in her throat as she slowly brought herself to the stone wall of the cottage. Deathbelle leaned against the building, closing her violet gaze as she struggled. Alone. She was going to be alone forever. A soft whine left her lips as she slid down the stone wall and curled into a heap in the snow. Why was she so weak? Why did she let her emotions strangle her like this? Why did she have to let go of everyone she loved?

Tears fell down her cheeks and she buried her head in the crook of her arm, feeling defeated despite being the most powerful woman in the world. What good was it when she couldn’t even share her accomplishments? She tried not to return to her what ifs, but in that moment she could do nothing else.

Iolaire had been out picking sweet grasses and herbs with which to scent various pillows scattered about her home. She was more than surprised to see the crumpled form of Deathbelle sobbing by her door. Abandoning the grass and herbs to the wind, the small woman rushed forward, instantly enveloping her friend within her embrace. Though she didn't yet know what was going on with Belle, Io murmured sweet nothings and rocked her gently. What on earth was happening?

Now was not the time for words. Gently, Iolaire moved Deathbelle into the cottage for privacy's sake. It wouldn't do for those of the Armada to see their empress a sobbing mess. Settling Belle on the furs beside the small fire, Iolaire set about making some calming tea. With the kettle already sitting in the warm stones, it took but moments. Placing two cups on the floor at the edge of the furs, Io sat next to her friend once more, and arm wrapped about her to pull her close once more.

Now that they were alone and out of the view of prying eyes, it was time to speak. "Belle, tell me what's wrong, love." Pressing her cheek to the top of Deathbelle's head, she continued to embrace her. It seemed as though that was what the woman needed.

Belle felt sweet relief in the embrace of Iolaire, she sighed heavily and began the process of composing herself. This was not a burden to lay at Sirius’s feet, he didn’t deserve it and she couldn’t begrudge his happiness. The Empress allowed Io to lead her into the cottage, her sobs halting as she gathered her wits about her. She could over come, but the feeling of desperation was intense.

She made herself comfortable where she was guided and settled easily onto the furs, she curled her limbs into herself and lowered her head to the ground. Lavender eyes watched the fire as it danced delicately before her, and she tried to push away the weakness that overcame her.

Iolaire finished the tea, and the simple aroma seemed to calm her, violet gaze was still lost in the fire as the dainty healer wrapped herself around the ivory splashed woman. Deathbelle leaned into Io’s embrace and sighed heavily as she closed her eyes, already feeling foolish for her emotions. ”Nothing ever changes.” She whispered softly, one moment she felt like she had the whole world and the next it felt like she had nothing again. ”I haven’t seen Hannibal in days, I let myself get too close to Sirius again. I.. just want to hold you.” She whispered the last bit as she shifted to her side and pulled Iolaire close to her like she once had before.

The explanation that Deathbelle gave was one that Iolaire had expected, sadly enough. The speckled woman was made to be loved. She loved affection and being with another. It was what had drawn the pair of women together in the first place. And so she held Deathbelle close, letting the woman release whatever buildup that she needed to. As she held her former lover, movement from the doorway caught her eye. Enki was entering. Iolaire shook her head. In low tones, the woman spoke to the cat in his own tongue, telling him to keep others from entering and to ask her husband, Roan, to give them time. The cat backed out of the cottage with a nod.

Hannibal had been gone for days? Judging by her conversations with him, Iolaire imagined that he would be in it for the long haul. She was a little surprised that the man would just up and leave. As for throwing herself at Sirius... Iolaire could understand. Deathbelle needed someone and had no one. "I'm sorry, darling," the smaller woman spoke softly. "I wish I could make things right for you. You deserve nothing but happiness." Io gave her friend a squeeze, holding her close and continuing to be the comfort that the woman needed so badly. They could stay like this until she was ready to move.

Deathbelle never meant to put herself into this sadness, she’d done her best to hold herself together in Sirius’s presence. Even after everything it was hard not to still feel that love that she had always had for him. Much like her love for Archon though, she could never fully express those emotions again. She couldn’t do anything, and so cried gently against Iolaire’s neck. Her once love held her tight, just what she needed. Io was always just what she needed, though she couldn’t hold her like she once had her comfort supported the Empress more than she knew.

She sighed heavily as Io apologized, but she knew it wasn’t her fault. Hannibal was no different, she should have expected he’d grow scarce sooner than later. Sirius had his wife and kids, she knew his answer so many times over that she felt foolish for how she felt now. She shook her head as she buried it in Iolaire’s neck again. ”I know you would.” Deathbelle whispered as she shut her eyes tightly. ”Do I though?” She questioned then, remember all of the wolves that touched her life and that she loved so deeply. Had her wellspring been depleted?

Iolaire squeezed Deathbelle and gave her a little shake as she doubted whether or not she deserved happiness. "You do. Never believe otherwise." The small, dark woman placed a kiss between Belle's ears before placing her cheek there instead. "You'll find your happiness. Of this, I'm certain." Iolaire wished that she could provide her friend with something more solid, but all she had was belief.

Releasing her friend, she prompted her to drink the tea that she'd made. "Drink. I could get you something stronger if you'd like." It might do the woman well to have a splash of mead in her tea. Might calm her further. If she became too intoxicated, she could take a room in the cottage for the night. She was sure that Roan wouldn't mind. He'd never said anything about jealousy or odd feelings when it came to the empress.

This was no new scenario to the two women, however much more severe her wound had been at the time they met. Belle almost wished that Iolaire hadn’t found her other half and she could pick back up where they had left off, but she was glad that Io found Roan. She deserved to have stability, happiness, and a proper partner. Deathbelle wasn’t sure that she would find anyone to support her with such steadfast loyalty. Io was hopeful and Deathbelle tried to be, but what if she’d already had all the love she’d ever get?

Deathbelle did her best to believe in her friend as she hugged her tightly and reluctantly released her as she returned her attention to the tea she’d made. The Empress heaved a huge sigh and leaned down to lap lightly at the warm liquid. She wasn’t sure that turning to drink would help her right now. ”No, I shouldn’t. Thank you, though.” Belle smiled softly up at the dainty healer. She sunk into the furs and lowered her head to her paws. ”How are you? Distract me with good news.” She requested lightly.

Sipping at her tea, ears perked as Belle asked her for a distraction. Good news. Hmm... "Well, spring is almost here. Roan and I will be leaving for a season." To her, this was great news. She was determined to get to the bottom of this fertility business. Hopefully, by the time they returned him, Iolaire would be pregnant. Though she wouldn't be terribly unhappy to keep trying until they were successful. Roan was eager to please and she was just as eager to please in return.

"The snow will be gone soon. Travel will be easier once more. Maybe you should take a vacation. Give Venom a test run of handling things while you're gone." Her young pups were weaned and could be watched by another while Deathbelle was away. If she wanted to wait until summer, Io would watch them herself while Belle took a breather. She suggested as much. "I can watch them for a time when Roan and I get back. It'll be good practice for me, eh?" The smaller woman grinned. Her paw still rested upon that of her friend and hadn't left the whole time.

Spring was close, the warm season was right around the corner and unlike the last one this one promised hope of a new year. Not one that was shadowed by the volcano and its near endless winter. She would be spending it without Iolaire though, while she journeyed the countryside in search of a cure. Deathbelle prayed they would be fruitful in more ways than one and she couldn’t argue its worthiness of good news. Belle gave Io a smile and let her continue, gone with the snow and on with vacation! In those moments she couldn’t see past her own desires to enact Iolaire’s words. Was Venom ready, were her children ready? The kids would be six months old by the time the summer rolled around and hopefully Iolaire would have her own on the way.

”Where do you think I should go?” She asked her with the hint of a smile, liking the idea more with each passing moment. ”I wouldn’t want to miss the arrival of mini Iolaires.” She chuckled, feeling the hope of new life. Especially for one who would have to work so hard to get to parenthood. Deathbelle lowered her head to press her cheek against Io’s paw that lingered over her own. She still felt strongly the love they shared.

Deathbelle seemed to perk up a bit as they talked. Where did she think her former lover should go? "Somewhere that you've never been before. Take someone that you trust and just go. You know Sirius won't let anything happen to Ashen while you're away. Plus Venom will do just fine. She's a smart girl." Io had full faith that things would be fine while Belle was gone. Just as she had faith that things would be fine while she and Roan were gone.

Her friend said that she wouldn't want to miss new arrivals and Iolaire laughed aloud. "Not a chance." She gave a little shrug and a partly sad smile. "Besides, who knows if my plan will even work? There's a chance that I'll never be able to have my own children." Another shrug was given and her green-gold eyes steeled. "If that's what my future holds, then I'll deal with it, but I at least have to try."