Her public activity dropped with no way to stop it,since her mother abandoned them she has been bearing with the hurt that it left in her young heart,what did she wrong? Did she hate her and her siblings? Whatever the reasons of leaving them behind was,it still made the girl feel bad and she was trying to be realistic,she was gone and that was it,she won't come back even if she complained. But more than for herself she worried about her father. He had a pack over his shoulders. She wasnt feeling well with the thought,but that wasnt enough to pull her from her hole,a hole she made herself. She slept under the stars,she has been living outside. Just to have herself away from anything that could make her remember her mother and the lost sibling that went with her. But in that night she was having a hard time with her sleeps, sometimes she had nightmares and bad feelings resting on her heart. "Speech"

Kirsi wasn't quite sure what she might find tonight. It was a brilliant spring night, the air crisp but not uncomfortably cold, with a clear sky full of stars. These were the kinds of sights she often missed from her homelands - a twinkling array of stars overhead stretched as far as the eye could see, only obscured by vast mountain ranges in the distance, and more closely by the large ship that towered nearby. Though often she longed for home, she was growing more and more accustomed to these lands as time went on. This was her home, this was the group she had pledged her loyalty to, and even that wouldn't change who she truly was - all it brought her was some much-needed stability.

She breathed a quiet breath, watching as a faint white puff of air appeared in front of her nose. It only temporarily obscured her vision as she spotted a figure up ahead. Who it was, she wasn't quite sure. There were quite a few wolves she was entirely unfamiliar with, much to her displeasure. Knowing her packmates was important, even if she wasn't always completely fond of them. Kirsi cleared her throat, noting that this particular packmate was quite a bit younger than her, though she couldn't quite place her name from a distance. She doubted that closing the distance between them would bring her any clarity. "Evening," she spoke smoothly. "Out star-gazing like me tonight?"

As she sat there under the stars' watch,her mind traveled across her memories, across times in which she was actually happy with a family. Now she was only her and her father and a few siblings. But again she had to just accept her reality, she had to move on and mind her own stuff. And there she sighed as her eyes traveled through the stars, watching without real muse but faint interest in knowing how many were up there. And she almost fell asleep with the silence lullaby. But steps scared off her tiredness, slowly she turned at the newcomer and she noticed it was someone she had seen before but couldn't recall her name or anything at all.She barely knew anyone due to her isolation. "Hello! Yes i wanted to watch the stars, and i guess you too?" Well of course she did , why else would she have asked? "I am Polaris Praetor and you?" She wanted to bare only her father's last name as only he stood during her growth and thus only he she considered her parent. "Speech"

Though she hadn't expected company tonight, she wasn't entirely displeased by it anyway. If she needed an excuse to leave quickly she could always blame the late hour anyway, she decided. "Yes, something like that," Kirsi replied, quite vaguely. The stars themselves weren't the main reason she'd gone on a walk tonight, but they were a welcome sight nonetheless. These stars glimmering so brilliantly in the wide open sky reminded her of home. The memories were bittersweet ones, so she was glad for a distraction from her thoughts for the moment.

The stranger offered her name, and Kirsi nodded politely, offering a smile. "Kirsi. Just Kirsi," she introduced herself. Wolves in her homeland tended to have no surname most of the, though she supposed her family's status as commoners had something to do with that. "Some say they have meaning, the stars," Kirsi said after a short pause. Personally, she didn't believe in such things - there were no gods or goddesses, no higher being, no grand purpose beyond mere existence. "What do you think, Polaris?" She'd likely find out more about this young woman from this unusual question than she would by mere small-talk.

Yes, something like that," "I see,and don't really watch them too much, just when i seek clarifications." Like tonight, clarifications over her future and erasing of her past.But she knew the past couldn't be erased , nothing will get back what she lost. But looking forward the future seemed to be working in a way. By having her mind nesting on what she was going to do helped her get some distraction and place the past in lower regard. From the stars, she moved her eyes to the newcomer taking note of her features but keeping respect on her inspection. For then landing her eyes to Kirsis' own. "Some say they have meaning, the stars," She nodded, though she didnt herself never give meanings to the starts beside the company they gave her in nights like this."What do you think, Polaris?" "I can't deny they do have a meaning,and some may do give them a lot of concepts and perceptions. But,for me they only mean the only company i have sometimes.And even more when I seek understanding about certain matters I may need guidance for." She ended to allow the other to speak aswell. "What about you? What do they mean to you?" She asked back. "Speech"

Kirsi nodded in understanding. The stars themselves, at least to her, had no real meaning - she very much doubted anyone could see their future written in the stars, though they were quite the sight anyway. They did remind her of just how small she was in the big scope of things. Her existence was an accident at best, and she wouldn't live long enough to truly make a mark on the world. Perhaps if she was lucky she might influence a select few, but looking at the stars reminded her of just how impermanent this all was.

"That's about how I feel about them. I'm not terribly superstitious, nor religious." The harsh reality of life was all anyone could ever expect out of this world; there was no purpose for all of this, no higher being directing them around and saving them when they needed it most. Everything was simply random, a game of chance. She almost found herself glad she didn't believe in anything like a god - for what would a god possibly do to her, for all that she'd done? Could she ever redeem herself? Kirsi truly doubted it.

She let out a breath of steamy air as she tilted her head back to Polaris. "They do remind me of just how inconsequential all of this is. You know, it's easy to get lost in your hopes and ambitions, but... none of it really matters. Not in the end. We all turn to dust, like everything else." Maybe that thought was too morbid for the yearling to face. Kirsi shook her head, as if ridding the thought from her mind. "But that's just me. No need to think like I do, of course." But when you've seen what I have, it's hard to not, she reminded herself, somewhat bitterly.

"That's about how I feel about them. I'm not terribly superstitious, nor religious." "I understand,myself i am not religious either.I only believe in myself not in the existence of superior or magical forces." She admitted,she was the type of wolf who was realistic and refrained from trusting her faith in things that didnt exists, believing in that to feel safe.She didnt need that for that.She had her family ,her pack and her own strenght. "They do remind me of just how inconsequential all of this is. You know, it's easy to get lost in your hopes and ambitions, but... none of it really matters. Not in the end. We all turn to dust, like everything else." "I share your thinking,i am do believe we all are just a tiny particle in the world. Everyone may think they are the bests of the best,but in reality, we are just a container of short existence." She calmly said. "Speech"

Kirsi nodded in understanding of her words. She wasn't a religious wolf either, something Kirsi found herself appreciating. While she wasn't the time to pry into the affairs of others unless it directly involved her, she appreciated such a realistic approach to life, and felt she could likely get along with Polaris far more easily than she might a wolf with an entirely different mindset. "That's the best way to be," she admitted quietly. There was no room in life to depend on forces beyond your control to guide your life - she'd long ago learned that only she was the master of her destiny, with each choice having often far-reaching consequence. "Excuse me for my darker thoughts. Sometimes nights like this make it hard to not let my mind stray," Kirsi explained, casting a glance over toward Polaris. "You sound like a level-headed wolf though, so I hardly think I need to worry about influencing you." Not that she thought herself a bad influence, but she was one of Acere's kids, wasn't she? It wouldn't do her any favors to be implanting overly macabre thoughts in his childrens' heads, even if they were yearlings.

Polaris had all of her attention placed on the older female's words, staring at her impressed, it was rare to find a wolf who wasnt a daydreamer, free from any fantasies thoughts, realistic and that was something she thanked."Excuse me for my darker thoughts. Sometimes nights like this make it hard to not let my mind stray," "It's alright Miss Kirsi," She assured her,there was anything wrong with thinking like that. Not everyone was forced to be happy all the time. "I tend to be the same sometimes, tonight is one of them." She admitted unsure if she should had spoken about that but the woman next to her seemed wise and someone to trust in."You sound like a level-headed wolf though, so I hardly think I need to worry about influencing you." "You are right, besides I am open-minded with what others wish to say  i won't mind." She was no one to force others to don't share their thoughts if they wanted to, Kirsi was on her full right to speak as she saw fit. "Speak"

Ah, so it seemed Polaris wouldn't go running off telling her father that Kirsi was trying to taint her with morbid thoughts. That was good. It wasn't that she was cynical, at least she didn't think so - she was just painfully realistic, knowing exactly how small each one of them were when you really stepped back and looked at the bigger picture. "It's not always such a bad thing, though," she continued on with a sigh, gazing at the stars above. "At least for me, it reminds me that each day can be whatever I want it to be. Though much of what we do doesn't matter in the end, well, the choices are still ours to make, not anyone else's." In the past she'd made a lot of reckless choices, and now as she began to grow older she was far more cautious in her decisions and the effects they might have.

But enough of this dreary talk. Maybe it was time to try to sleep. Curling up beside Song did sound tempting as she stood out here in the chilly night air. "Hopefully you find the answers you seek, Polaris. I ought to be going for now. Feel free to seek me out if you ever need anything, even if it's just to talk." Kirsi wasn't much of a teacher, nor was she the best listener, but she was happy to talk if Polaris wanted someone to bounce her own thoughts off of. She'd dealt with more than some wolves could dream of, not that she'd be so quick to share that with anyone. With that, she dipped her head to her young friend and headed back into the night.

- exit Kirsi -