Hey you dang woodchucks! Quit chucking my wood!

Armando stood up on his hind legs and looked around. His companion, the ever useless tufted titmouse, landed on the side of his neck and hung onto his fur with her feet. She cocked her head and peeped a few times. Annoyed, Armando shook her off with a sharp roll of his shoulders. "I know it's around here somewhere. Don't need you whispering obvious things in my ear." He dropped to all fours and stared ahead crossly. It had been awhile since he'd stashed his things. The seasons had changed and things were just a little bit...off. To himself, Armando muttered, "I know I left it around here somewhere..." Somewhere around here was a neat little cache just waiting for him to rediscover it.

He hopped forward a couple steps and glanced around. All of this looked familiar. The problem lay with how alike all the familiar things looked. Every which way he looked there was a nice smooth ledge with water dripping on it or a jagged one with roots trailing its side. Here a root, there a drip, everywhere a ledge ledge. How was a panda supposed to find his things in a place like this? Granted, that had been the point when he'd picked it. The Deluge was nice and bland and no one would go there looking for treasure. Dammit. He should have made a map.

A chorus of peeps echoed up from the depths of the Deluge and instantly Armando brightened. "Really? Atta girl." He took off in the direction of the noise rounding corner after corner until there, fluttering in small circles, was his bird. She landed on a root and fluffed up her feathers. Clearly she was pleased with herself. Not that she would say that out loud. She held out a wing and pointed down excitedly. There. That was the spot. Unlike Armando she remembered.

Armando fell on the little cave with hungry abandon. All his stuff was in there and he was eager to get his paws on it again. He wasted no time in shimmying down the narrow tunnel. Down into the dark he went, his sides brushing the dirt walls as he half crawled, half dragged himself along the passage. The bird, of course, waited outside. She was startled into flight by a sudden shout from the tunnel. Armando emerged ass first in a shower of dirt. He fell over backwards and lay belly up briefly before rolling to his paws and darting away from the entrance. And for good reason too as a fat groundhog shimmed out after him. The beast stood blinking in the sunlight with its front half out but its hind end still in the tunnel.

He dusted himself off before snapping angrily, "Now sir was that really necessary?" The groundhog lunged forward chattering angrily forcing Armando back a step. He threw up his paws in surrender. "How was I supposed to know? We weren't exactly properly introduced." It squeaked in indignation. "Madam please! Forgive me, but I really need-" He stomped his foot as the groundhog continued chattering. "No it's not finders keepers! I'm sorry you were sleeping but-" He huffed as the groundhog continued to chitter. "Unacceptable! Those are my things and- and I don't care how many flabby dirt dogs live in there with you!" He pointed an accusing finger at her. "I'll go through you and all your thieving, fat ass children!" Both he and the groundhog fell silent for a split second to digest what he'd just said. Armando could see the statement settle over the groundhog's features. Immediately he knew he was committed. This was happening.

The enraged momma groundhog flung herself at him with a rodent's version of a battle cry. Even though he knew it was coming Armando still wasn't fast enough to get away. She toppled him over backwards and all 15 flabby pounds of her fell across him. Briefly he was engulfed in her rolls as her momentum jiggled everything forward. He had just enough time to wonder if he could suffocate before the curtain of flab was rolled back and fresh (albeit sandy) air hit his face. Unfortunately that was when the biting started. "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Her stupid rodent teeth gnawed up one of his arms like it was a cob of corn. Armando swatted at her, his paw in her face, and when she bit that too he decided it was time to bite back. Red and brown fur went flying as the pair traded kicks and bites.

Using his legs he heaved the woodchuck up into the air. Unfortunately she was too heavy for him to throw so the best he could muster was a brief swan lake move before his legs gave way and he was once again buried in angry chuck. The biting and bunny kicking resumed. Somehow he managed to kick her to the side. She clung to him and they went rolling like a pair of frisky ferrets. Round and round they went through the dirt until both their coats were muted and indistinguishable. Small puddles of blood dotted the ground around them. Him, her, it was hard to tell where it all came from. Both were bleeding.

Armando could hear his companion tittering nervously. Her anxious peeps echoed off the stone walls. "Don't just watch!" he yelled at her. "Do something before she eats me alive!" To her credit the little bird was wasted no time in doing just that. She was nothing if not loyal and her very best friend in the whole wide world was in trouble. She dove for the woodchuck and flapped madly at its eyes. When that didn't work she flew off and dove at it. She was a tiny kamikaze pilot on a mission; instead of pulling up at the last second she struck the woodchuck between the eyes with all of the force she could muster. Considering her weight was measured in grams it wasn't much. The blow was enough to knock the wind from her lungs, though. With a single pained squeak she bounced off the hog like a deflated ball and rolled off into the dirt. The woodchuck was startled but unimpressed.

Alright, he'd had enough. Armando was bleeding all over, his bird was down, it was time to call it quits. He knew when he was beat. Today he was done. He'd be back tomorrow. With a shriek he flung the groundhog away, scooped up his concussed bird and took off running. "I'll be back, you hear me! Those are mine!" He left in his wake a steady trail of blood and a very smug looking groundhog.

WC: 1126