The die had been cast. Thalia had arrived and it could not be undone. The meeting had gone off without a hitch, but she couldn’t deny the childish jealousy that had burned in the pit of her stomach once Poem and Sparhawk had been reunited. Their affection for each other was so obvious, so pure - so easy to understand, even from an outsider’s perspective. Boy meets girl. Boys falls in love with girl. Girl brings him home to the met the family… and happily ever after. Theory made a strange keening sound deep in her throat as she patrolled, lost in a torrent of thought. Happily ever after. Love came so easily to her. Was this burning neediness she felt in the pit of her stomach also love? It certainly didn’t seem as pure and sweet as what Poem felt for Sparhawk. And, of course, the whole Abraxas thing complicated, well, everything!

Theo cussed quietly as she went. Was she doomed to walk the same path as Tana? Loving someone intensely whose heart had already been claimed by another? Except Thalia wasn’t in love with someone - she was in love with god. And was this even love?! Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Patrolling, something she had always taken a quiet comfort in, was turning into her own personal hell. Hours and hours alone with her thoughts. She had excused herself quietly after the meeting to begin this trek in the hopes it would clear her mind, but as she rounded the bend in the trail and headed closer to the sound of the rapids, her thoughts only twisted themselves more densely until they resembled the thicket she’d just left. There was no way she’d get any clarity like this. Eventually they’d have to speak, and although that in itself was nauseating, it was the only way she’d be able to see her way out of this.

Thalia was here, in Abaven. That was the first step, wasn't it? Whatever came after she wasn't entirely sure. She'd sounded so certain of what she was doing when she'd told Eligos of her plan, in fact she'd even felt certain - but now that she was here she wasn't quite sure how to proceed. She'd promised Eligos she'd find a weakness in Abaven, if such a thing was possible; they'd outlived nearly all the packs she'd ever heard of. What could they possibly need the Abraxas for? Something, no doubt, but what precisely? Thalia didn't like not knowing, and here she didn't know a damn thing. Not how to act, not where to go, not who was safe and who she needed to keep her eyes on. Theory was safe, at least in the most obvious way. She didn't need to watch her back around her, but the others were all strangers, and she didn't know how they'd perceive her. With distrust, most likely, and some might even dislike her. Truthfully she didn't blame them.. but she'd have to find a way to make them warm up to her, which would no doubt be the hardest feat of all for the cold, standoffish Abraxas.

First manner of business was getting accustomed with these lands. She'd be easily ambushed if she didn't even know where she was going, so she decided to get her bearings. The sound of the rapids had caught her attention when she'd first headed this way and she decided to properly explore them today. What caught her off guard was catching a strong whiff of Theory's smell. This entire place smelled like her, of course, something that would take Thalia a long while to grow accustomed to. But this time she was close, practically next to her, and Thalia felt her heartbeat beginning to hammer painfully in her throat. This was her home, at least for two seasons, so seeing Theory was going to become more common.

Time to get used to it.

Moving slowly alongside the rapids, she hardly had time to register what to say before Theory was in her field of vision. Moving away from her, which somehow didn't make things any easier. Instead of making her presence known, she found herself trailing after her. Watching her without being seen, without having to worry about what Theory was thinking of her, was oddly transfixing. But she didn't expect she could follow her forever, so finally she picked up her pace. Her approach was nearly silent, not in an attempt to startle her, but simply because she didn't want anyone else noticing her. Or them. "Boo," she called out suddenly once she was within earshot, not sure how else to greet her. 'Hi' felt too inconsequential. 'Hello' seemed too formal. 'Boo' was... well, probably not a very good greeting either, but it was something.

She could tell that Thalia was behind her. Of course she could tell. Theory had memorized every rock and pebble leading to the rushing waters. Thalia didn't know these lands like she did, but Theo hoped by the time that she left she'd be better acquainted. Maybe she'd even be fond of them. Her ears flicked backwards as Thalia hastened her approach. "Boo." Chuckling, she pivoted to face her. "How are you settling in? Was the journey long?" she asked, her eyes bright now. The loudness of her thoughts seemed to quiet when Thalia entered. At the very least, she could brood later in private. For now there were other things to focus on, like how thick and plush Thalia's winter coat was coming in (was it coming in early? Was she always this soft-looking?) and how good it felt to finally have her here. Even though they were out in the open on a commonly traveled path by the rapids, something about this encounter felt intensely private. "Let me show you where I used to play..." she said, casting a winning grin over her shoulder as she strode along the rushing water. They went a few yards further up before coming to a series of wide, flat rocks that made a stepping stone pattern downstream. The summer had been temperate and now that it was over, the water was still low. This time of year was the best for racing along the rocks.

Her journey, though it was one she'd take before to visit Theory, had felt remarkably long. The weight of her decision was not at all lost on her. Her choice to come to Abaven wasn't without consequence. She had to remember the main reason why she was here, which surpassed all other factors that went behind her choice. But in the moment, with Theory fluidly turned to greet her with a laugh, almost all of those important thoughts were jerked away, as if stolen violently by the very waters of the rapids. "It wasn't too bad," she admitted. The physical journal had been fine, it was the emotional one that had been tougher. She wasn't used to being away from her family for extended periods of time, and she knew it would only get harder before it got easier.

How was she settling in, though? Thalia had no clue yet, if she was being honest. "I'm.. settling in. Getting used to these lands. They're a lot different than what I'm used to." Even where Aerie had moved had been different than her homelands. It was hard to beat her earliest memories, of days spent exploring the grand castle she'd known for so long as home. These lands to the east were even more of an adjustment from the arid west she'd since grown accustomed to. Without hesitating Theory invited her to see somewhere she'd used to play. Thalia's orange gaze lit up with interest as she headed after her, soon slowing as they reached a more shallow sections of the falls. "You used to play here? Looks dangerous," she gestured with her muzzle toward the rocks, looking vaguely amused in the way that only Thalia could. Maybe it was dangerous for pups, and maybe when the tide was higher - not so much now. Not unless someone wasn't paying attention, probably.

"Good. I'm glad you're settling in. And... yes, well, I imagine you've experienced a lot of change this past year," she said softly. The trade off of leadership for her pack, her siblings coming and going - in some ways, Thalia and Theory lay as mirror images. Two sides of the same coin, one light and one dark. Only Theory had wound up leading Abaven and now she was tied to these lands, unable to leave. She would never shirk responsibility or leave her family - and, of course, neither would Thalia. The two women were at an impossible impasse.

But for now that didn't matter. Thalia was here, in Abaven, and for one blessed moment Theo had her all to herself. "Well, in the winter you can sort of skate from rock to rock, but only in the very coldest months. You don't want to risk cracking the ice here. We mostly played at the height of summer when the water has slowed to a trickle or early fall, on days just like today," she grinned, eyeing the wild blue sky above them. It was framed by the towering trees that lay on either side of the rapids. Days like this reminded her keenly of her childhood. Good weather, a light breeze, and no worries. "Come on, I'll race you," Theory threw the gauntlet down, her eyes bright and sparkling with the knowledge that Thalia never turned down a challenge. Their relationship was mostly built on dares and they'd risen to this precarious calm on behalf of her Abraxas stubborn streak. Laughing merrily, Theory play bowed before springing off to hop down the rocks, all the while her ears turned to hear Thalia's pawsteps behind her.

Yes, change was one word for it, even if it didn't quite seem to encompass the extent of what all had happened during the last few years of her life. Things were slowly getting better, she was sure of it, but change wasn't something Thalia dealt with well at all. And just when she'd grown comfortable with where Aerie had moved, here she was, thrust into a pack she was unfamiliar with, in lands she had never explored. Here she wasn't just a stranger to these wolves, but perhaps might be seen as an enemy to those who had experienced the Abraxas rule of Abaven. The fact that she had no clue who she needed to keep an eye on, or who needed to be convinced that her role here was not... well, they'd likely be right to be worried, but that was besides the point. And she was hardly thinking about any of that right now, anyway.

It was easy to forget the things that worried her the most when Theory was around. Everything else became background noise, hazy and unfocused while Theory was crystal-clear in her vision. "Sounds fun," she responded, as conversationally as Thalia could manage. To a stranger, her shortness could easily be mistaken for disinterest, but when it came to Theory it was anything but. There was something intoxicating about the beauty of the day that even Thalia couldn't ignore. Her gaze followed hers, and then lowered back down to the rapids. Amusement flickered in her eyes at the challenge. Since when was she willing to just let Theory win? "You're to blame when I slip and get myself killed," she warned her, though quickly picked up the pace as she bounded after her. She was blissfully unaware of the death in her family that was to come as she hopped after Theory, even letting out a light chuckle, a rarity for her as she aimed to take a different route and hope to gain a lead on her.