Walk | "Talk" | think

Rudy had been putting serious thought in something for the last day, at least when he wasn’t thinking of hunting and fighting and Art and training and future goals and well ok so a few things went around in his mind.  However, for the day another portion of his mind had been on their new ‘brother’ Grimshaw.  How could he accept the pup as a part of the family when he seemed to do all he could to avoid being part of the family?  It wasn’t right! Instead of just inwardly snarling about it, or whining to their mom’s, maybe the right action was just to tell Grim straight up he was being an ass.  Seemed a good plan.

So when he spotted Grimshaw close to the den while no one else appeared to be at home Rudy strode up to him.  Rudy was one who loved to sneak up and spy or pounce on other wolves, especially pouncing on the other pups, but today it was a composed stride forward to make this look important, at least that’s how he was trying to pull it off.  It’s hard to look important when still a cute puppy.

“Hey.  Grimshaw?”  The words were kept cautiously neutral, biting back the inner irritation he felt just seeing the wolf.  Grim probably imagined himself superior the way he tried to avoid doing anything with them.  It was like he thought they had fleas the way Grim never wanted to play with most of the family.

“Got time for a talk?” Got time for me or gonna try and just walk off?  Building irritation had settled in on the adopted pup’s mannerisms.  Rudy just couldn’t accept this guy as family until he acted like it.  Rudy was pretty certain he was right about this, but his desire to prove himself as mature kept him from running to his mom’s about his frustration.  No, with his maturity he could fix things himself.  He’d have Grim see reason.

He didn't want a new family, he wanted his own mother back. His very own mother. Didn't have to share. His. But he ruined that, didn't he? He didn't deserve a mother, much less two. And siblings? Well, he didn't have any of those before and it was just strange. But he didn't deserve a family, so he hardly believed he deserved siblings either.

Bowen was an exception. She was there for him when he was brought back and he felt different towards her. Of course he didn't see her as a sister, but rather a friend. A friend he had to cling to in case he did something to hurt her, too. The rest of them, though? He didn't deserve siblings.

He was happily minding his own business outside of the den, investigating bugs and rocks and whatnot. Minding his own business. Not getting all up in someone else's business, unlike someone. Silver eyes rose from whatever had his current attention when his name was called by one of his 'siblings' and he was asked if he had time for a talk. Wasn't like he was doing anything else, couldn't the boy see that? "What do you want?" He asked, trying to keep his voice neutral although he knew this was going to be anything but a neutral discussion. He could feel it.


"Speech!"

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Walk | "Talk" | think

Rudy took another stride forward after Grim’s question before pausing looking at the irritating pup thinking on what to say next. “I want to know what’s the deal with you.” There, got the conversation topic straight out there.  “Why don’t you ever try to be part of the family? You got invited into the best family of the best pack and its like you avoid us.  Even in the den, a small area, you still manage to shut us out.” Just in case the guy wasn’t aware of it Rudy decided to outline it more.  “You are being rude.  I want to know if it's intentional or not, and I want to know,” Rudy paused on that part, letting out some of his irritation so the last word sounded softer, “why? Why do you think we aren’t good enough for you?”

Rudy had aimed for acting mature.  Was that good enough?  Rudyard could talk up a storm on convincing some why his ideas were so great but this wasn’t that kind of talk.  On top of that, he was trying to have a serious conversation with someone he half expected was just an ass.  How much good would talking do?  Rudy was sure he’d have a better opinion on what sort of wolf Grim really was if he could just get the guy to talk.  It didn’t matter if the older pup told a truth or a lie, it was about getting to know him and how he showed himself.  Rudy was sure he could read past lies as he hadn’t been wrong yet!  At least no one told him if he assumed wrong.

As the boy blurted out what was bothering him, the topic he so wished to discuss, Grimshaw's lip twitched exposing his duplicate, longer canine more than it already was. It wasn't but a moment later when he continued, and continued, and continued some more. All it was doing was irritating the larger boy and he couldn't help but posture himself defensively. Who was this brat questioning him? Didn't he ever stop to think why he was adopted by them? That perhaps he didn't have any other family and wanted nothing more than his own family back? That no other family would be the same as his own family? It took great restraint to not erupt like a volcano on the boy, but he couldn't hold back all of it. His temper was too strong and he hadn't learned how to control it yet.

"Who do you think you are?!" He started with a snap, his teeth clicking together into a snarl. "Did you ever stop to think about why I was adopted? That maybe something happened to my actual family?" Grim was raging now and took a step forward towards the boy. "Would you want a new family if you were the reason your family was dead?! How would that make you feel, hm?" His silver eyes was locked on the slightly younger boy and his muscles quivered as he held himself back from lunging at him. He didn't know how to fight and certainly this boy did, but he was itching to shut him up even if it meant making him hurt. Maybe then he'd understand.

Rudy always had all the answers.  When the pup didn’t have them he just decided what sounded best and went with it and things always worked out.  It had always worked out in the past and he’d seen no reason it wouldn’t in the future.  Rudy was a pup living in an ideal world and while he had wondered why Grimm wasn’t with his true family the concept of family dying or the guilt of it being caused by oneself could never have touched him.   For once Rudy had no words.  For once the pup realized he had made a mistake.  There was no fear of the imminent threat, in fact Grimm could get a great first shot in if he wanted as Rudy’s mind was too busy to try and process a whole new world of information.  How would he feel on his family dead?  That wasn’t a reality Rudy could even fathom.  That hollow feeling he’d felt with Tika’s fear came back to his stomach.  These words and questions were more things that were wrong and didn’t fit with his image of the world. The pup was watching him, ready for a response and itching for a fight.  Rudy tried to shake away the shock at least long enough to respond with something.  “I,” he what? “I was wrong.”  He doubted an ‘I’m sorry’ would have done any good and doubted this would help either but it was a response. Questions sprung to mind but none he wanted to ask and by appearance none Grimm would likely wish to answer.  Rudy’s tail lowered and even tucked a bit under with a sense of loss he had no words for and confusion as he hadn’t lost anything. “I think,” Rudy’s brow scrunched up taking the last question through his mind even as he wanted to avoid it and maybe no answer was needed for Grimm.  Rudy’s mind struggled with the question he didn’t want to think about but couldn’t help but turn it around.  “I think I still would want family, I think.  At least I’d want others.  I wouldn’t want to be alone.” The motley grey pup’s voice was soft now as he pondered it, eyes looking upward to Grimm. What to do? Rudy slowly made his tail lay in a more relaxed position and checked himself.  He could be strong, at least a little stronger.  What felt right?  That was always what he had gone by.  What felt right warned it still hurt but he focused his gaze more on Grimm again.  “Ok, we aren’t family, unless you change your mind.” Rudy felt more confident as he spoke but it was with somber words. “However so long as you are in this pack I will be here if you need to talk, or anything else.  I messed up and I was wrong.  I’ll try not to make the mistake again.” Rudy was going to find family after this to feel the warmth of their love and reminder he still had what Grimm had lost.  He would still be leader someday but today he wanted to justs be a puppy getting that love and safety from family. "Rudyard"

His blood was boiling with anger towards the boy. His body quivering, wanting to lash out but not understanding how. He held himself back, blinking his hardened eyes to try and calm himself down, to focus. How could Rudyard understand where he came from? He had a perfect family, in his words, and hadn't lost a soul in the way he had. Grimshaw didn't think of that when he lashed out on the boy, but his anger was too strong for him. He had a lot of anger holed up and needed something to release it on. His snarl relaxed and he sighed, taking a few steps back as the boy before him appeared defeated and seemed lost in thought.

Finally an admittance of being wrong came from the smaller boy and a bit of sass rang out in his own head, but he bit his tongue from saying the words and being a smartass. The boy continued speaking a moment later, about how he'd still want a family, or at least others. Fortunately, he wasn't alone. He had Bowen. Bowen was there for them the night he was brought back, laid with him and kept him comfortable through the night so the nightmares wouldn't return. Before he only had his mother, and now he only had Bowen. That was enough, right? He feared letting too many in would result in the same fate as his mother when he couldn't protect everyone. Bowen was small, easy to protect with his massive size. He couldn't protect everyone from the same fate as his mother.

He got probably the best next thing to an apology from the boy, but it hardly made him feel better. Of course his thoughts consisted primarily of his loss and mother in general, but Rudy had only made it worse today. Anger filled his bones and boiled his blood today. He needed to unleash it on something. Maybe someone would teach him a thing or two today.


"Speech!"

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