It had come time for her to leave The Hallows. Summer was here and she couldn't put it off anymore. She needed to move to Abaven not just for her children, but because she couldn't take the heartbreak she felt for Ulric anymore. Allegro wanted her to wait until the weather was less harsh, for her own safety. And so she stayed here and suffered until then. And there was a part of her that could not wait to leave the castle behind her, she almost never wanted to see Ulric again. Her last day turned to night, and she was gathering and preparing for her travel to the northern continent all the way to the eastern shores, far away from here. As she was organizing the supplies she found her gaze out into the darkness of the beach, and a rush of sadness fell over her. She had to see Ulric, she couldn't let it end this way. Maybe it was more selfish for herself, but she wouldn't allow their last moment together to be filled with what she could have considered hatred within herself. She meant what she said though. And there was no way she could take it back now. She finished putting her supplies together, set it up for the morning after before closing the door to her room and making her way up to Ulric's floor. Outside his room she hesitated. She wanted to give them one last good memory to go by for the rest of their lives, but what if he didn’t allow it? She couldn’t force him to, not physically but it wasn’t in her nature to do so. That didn’t make her want to do this any less. She finally worked up the courage to push through his door, closing it behind her as seemed to be routine anytime she entered here. She lingered with her back towards him while she stood at the door, still hesitant. She couldn’t run out of the room now. Still, she didn’t want to make her presence unknown to him, she wasn’t sneaking around though the only noise that could have been heard was the sound of her claws against the stone surface of the floor. By this time she was determined to do what she had planned, so there was no more hesitation from her from this point on. Her nose moved between his forelegs to nestle in to him as they had many times, and had he rejected her, her paw would place on his shoulder to almost strongly pull him back in to her, "Ulric, please just do this for me, one last time." She whispered, her eyes clenched while she tried to hide what sorrow she held behind them. It wasn’t easy, and it was probably obvious the way she felt behind her eyelids. But what she was doing wasn’t because of lust or desire, she truly loved Ulric, as much as she was believing he didn’t feel the same way. They seemed to have the same issues, everything they loved seemed to be torn apart or broken. Aranea felt she could never fix what she had done. Her relationship with Allegro and her children, or her relationship with Ulric. And she was starting to spin down that deep, dark hole of depression again. Everything she did, she was a failure. All she did was hold everybody down. She wasn’t fit to be a lover, a mother, or a mate. She destroyed everything close to her. Walk "Talk" Think

Ulric laid awake, staring across his empty room as he had so many nights before. His mind had been too consistently overwhelmed to sleep until he was just too exhausted to stay awake any longer. Nearly every night since he had sent Aranea away he had done this and things in his life had steadily gotten more and more unstable since then. Discovering how hurt Emile was, seeing Jane begin to succumb to the darkness that plagued her siblings, watching Resin lose her mind, seeing Tamsyn suffer for it, figuring out how he was going to lead The Hallows when he could barely hold his own life together. In retrospect, he almost yearned for the days when his biggest problem had been whether he wanted to stay with Aranea or not. Those days had felt painful at the time, but now it just felt like a distant memory.

During the day he didn't think about Aranea, he was too wrapped up in more pressing matters and concerns, but at night, when he was laying here alone, he couldn't help but miss the way it felt to have her tucked against him. It had now been two full seasons since Azariah's disappearance, half of a year, and yet he still thought about her too. The memories of how she had felt in his arms were beginning to feel less distinct, faded. But he thought about her. The aching loneliness in his heart ate away at him slowly, but surely. But he refused to make the same mistake that he had made with Aranea. He refused to court anyone else, to bring anyone else into his bed. He had to think of his children, had to find someone that would be good for them. He was the Aegis now. He had to find someone that would be a good fit for the pack. His pack. Those words still felt wrong, though less wrong than they had before he held the meeting.

The sound of his door opening disrupted his spiraling train of thoughts, making his head pop up with surprise. At first he thought maybe it was one of his children coming to find him or maybe something with Resin so Tamsyn was coming to get him, but it was neither of those more rational, expected options. When the door closed again it was Aranea standing there with her back to him. He stared at her with disbelief for a long moment, not really comprehending that she was actually here. "Aranea? What... Why are you here?" he questioned as she came to his bed, trying to nose her way into his embrace. He knew that morning would bring the first true day of summer. He had secretly hoped that she would slip away and he could close the chapter on them more easily as she left to be with her children in Abaven, but clearly she wasn't content with that. The last time he had spoken to her she had been so angry at him, but now...

He tried to pull away from her, but his ears flicked uncertainly when her paw pulled on his shoulder with a plea. Please do this for her one last time. If this had been within in those first few days after he first broke it off his resolution would have been stronger. But so much had happened since then, so much that had worn him down and made the void in his life all the more apparent. Logically, he knew he shouldn't. Even in his heart he knew he shouldn't. But there were other parts of him, other needs, that longed for the opportunity and with how sleep deprived and lonely he was they were hard to ignore. After a long moment of tension he finally sighed heavily and lifted his foreleg to let her into his embrace. "You shouldn't be here," he told her softly, uncertainly, even as his forelegs held her tighter against him, filling that gap she and Azariah had left in his life.

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The weight on Ulric's shoulders had been ignored, which was awfully selfish of her. She had heard of Resin's outburst and of Ulric taking the pack as was previously agreed. She knew all these things. But she hadn't attended the meeting that was given, and she hadn't even visited Resin in her cell. And it was selfish and immature. She saw no reasoning in doing this things while she was in the process of leaving so soon. She knew it was wrong, but she also didn't really care. What happened between her and Ulric had soured her entire emotions of The Hallows, as Tyranis had for the rest of his family. She may have seemed mature in numerous other tasks and experiences, but she was entirely immature when it came to her own emotions. All she wanted was to be put first in someone's mind, but not just one person, perhaps all. It was an impossible expectation. When Ulric welcomed her, and it wasn't the first time they had an encounter like this, she showed an incredibly obvious sign of relief while she pushed the top of her head into his chest. She was ready to push him, to make him feel guilty, anything to get him to give her the affections she desired over the past many weeks. There was a hidden feeling of guilt herself when she relaxed, but she shoved it down deep. "I didn't want it to end like this Ulric." She admitted, her chin dragged while she was hesitant to look up at him, but she managed to. Her eyes weld with tears through the darkness, this was quite a normal emotion for her, no matter how often she had showed it to Ulric himself. As much as she was doing better emotionally, it always turned back around to the crying, tired, defenseless woman as was her true colors. She rested her head on his chest at an angle she could still look up at him as she felt the comfort of his embrace that she secretly longed for in their time apart. "I didn't want you-" Her voice broke as she tried to hold it together, "I didn't want you to look back and see only what I did to you in the end." She hadn't hurt him physically, but Aranea had never thought she would turn angry towards him. She didn't think she would feel the same kind of hatred she did toward Tyranis. It was a harsh awakening to her to compare the two situations. But she knew at heart of her depressed soul, not an angry and resentful one. Walk "Talk" Think

He sighed as she pushed into his chest, biting back the relief he felt at the feeling. He knew it was only just putting salve on a wound. It wasn't healing anything, but it took away some of the sting. In the end it would probably only open up that wound wider and make it hurt more, but it was too late. He had let her in and by doing that he had willingly driven the knife in deeper. He looked down at her, still hesitant and uncertain as her tear filled eyes looked up at him, listening as she told him that she didn't want it to end like this. He never wanted to see anyone he cared about hurt or cry, not even Aranea. His brow creased when she told him that she didn't want him to remember her only by how it had ended. Conflict raged in him because that's exactly what he wanted. He wanted to remember her storming out, refusing him as he tried to comfort her. It was easier that way. It gave him something to cling on to when he was longing and lonely. A reminder of how he needed to be more careful and cautious with his heart and his family.

But now she was here and the feeling of her body against his put him right back to where he always had been when she came to visit him like this. She stirred up the desires in him that he didn't want her to poke at and before his brain fully caught up to what he was doing he dipped his head down her hers, catching her lips with his own. It hurt as much as it helped, soothing one desire and aggravating another. But still he pressed his muzzle to hers, kissing her with a hunger that he didn't want to address. It had been weeks and weeks since he had held anyone at all and now here she was, reminding him of the pain he had been hiding and ignoring deep, deep down under his responsibilities and duties.

When he broke that insistent kiss he didn't pull away, lingering there on the edge, just waiting to be tipped one way or another. "You shouldn't be here," he reiterated, his voice deep and rumbling and breathy. He wanted her to break the trace and release him, walk back out of the room and leave his life forever so he could never be tempted by her again. But he also wanted her to kiss him again, continue stoking that fire that he had been hastily tossing water onto over and over since he broke off what they had. He already knew what she would pick. They were too weak, they always had been. When Allegro was here he had been able to see the error of what he had done and had been able to build up the resolve to make a clean break from her, but that was gone now. Now things were messy and heavy and he needed her. He needed all of it.

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Aranea had already given in willingly to Ulric's kisses, deeper and more emotional than she expected. But she couldn't have wanted anything more. She indulged in him wanting her, giving in to her, she couldn't help but feeling like he wanted her just as much as she wanted him. Whether it was on the same level of how she loved him or not. She still felt like Ulric hadn't loved her the same way since he hadn't said it. He pulled away from her, but Aranea didn't get the sense he was backing off. His voice was more a threat than anything else, at least that's how she perceived it. And it only made her want him more. Her muzzle moved up to meet his gently at first, but went quickly into more aggressive motions as he had, showing that they may have waited too long to make this happen. To her, it felt like they never should have stopped. Her paws moved to curl around the length of his shoulders her body moved powerfully into his and she even attempted to move on top of him in the heat of the moment. He may have known what was already going to happen, she already had known. But this had felt different to her than any other time they had been together. While it felt more lustful, she had a stronger forward feeling of love for him. Some part of it was knowing that after tonight, they would probably never see each other again. Walk "Talk" Think

As he had figured, maybe as he had feared, Aranea's lips met his again and threw a match onto what little self control he still had. It went up into smoke and the fire spread, burning away his conscious thoughts and any reservations or fears he had about giving into her again. He began to feel as if his emotions had been twisted and warped and used. He had no doubt that she had meant what she said when she admitted that she loved him, but it wasn't right. It wasn't healthy. It broke them both in ways he didn't quite understand. The other times she had found her way into his bed he had felt as if he was trying to fill what Azariah had taken from him - the care and tender love that they had shared. He had never wanted to just soothe the physical desires he had, he had wanted someone to fill the gaps of his broken heart.

This time felt different. When she returned her lips to his for a second time she met the hunger that he had given her and it began to roar into a wildfire. His paws gripped harder around her, claws pressing against skin as he held her for what he knew would be the last time. She pressed into him, pushing to try and get over on top of him and he refused with a soft rumble of a growl. She tapped into a part of himself that he had locked down tight ever since he had gotten into the fight with his sister that gave him the first of many scars across his face, the part of him that was unrestrained with his emotions. He pushed her down into the bed as he rolled on top of her, her light, small frame feeling so incredibly fragile in his massive paws. Every pent up emotion - pain, sorrow, longing, loneliness, confusion, hurt - it all was funneled into his lust as if that could purge the feelings from his body and finally let him be free.

His furious, hungry kiss trailed form her lips to her jaw to her neck, holding himself over her and pinning her there. He wanted to devour her, get lost in her. He was gone, long, long gone. Any of his responsibilities or duties or any of the things he should have been thinking about in that moment were terribly far away and left him hollow, leaving just the desire alone to fill him and drive him forward. He felt raw and vulnerable and that just made him kiss her harder, hold on to her harder. You shouldn't be here he thought again to himself, but words were beyond him. She shouldn't be here, allowing him to lose himself like this. She shouldn't be able to break him the way she did, but he allowed it. Just this once.

-fade?-

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She didn't do anything as he turned the tables and moved himself on top of her instead, it hadn't mattered to her. She liked the feeling of a man on top of her, and it may have even fueled the fire even more. The hot emotions rushed through her, she felt every touch Ulric gave her, everything was amplified. She needed to remember this night for the rest of her life. She felt like she would never have anything like this again. Everything had just meant more to her coming from Ulric. And she felt like the next time and any time she would be with a man, she would come back to this moment. -Fade- She didn't want to let go of him when they were finished, she held onto him close and wanted to nestle her head into his chest to indulge in the after. She took in his own scent, not wanting to abandon it. She waited only a few moments, hoping he would keep her as they had so many times before. She just wanted to linger like this for, well ever. But unfortunately, she couldn't. Maybe the two of them were meant to be, she felt like they were. But everything was wrong from the direction she was leading. It took her too long to find herself here, embraced by Ulric. Thinking it was finally where she belonged. And she couldn't turn back time, or change having children with Allegro, or claiming how she cared for Ulric more than them. "I love you." She stated again, keeping her cheek on him, not wanting to face his own emotions. But she had to say it, whether he didn't feel the same way, or that he just didn't want to say it. Walk "Talk" Think

When it was all said and done, Ulric wasn't sure if it had actually given him the relief he sought. The primal, physical demands had been met, but the emotions still churned, just waiting to be tipped into some other self destructive outlet. Even still, he held her. He held her against him with his eyes closed for a long moment, letting him believe that he didn't have to be alone for just a few minutes at least. He didn't want this life of solitude and loneliness, but he also knew that Aranea wasn't the answer. She couldn't be. If he tried to let that be the case he would forever live with the guilt that he had stolen a mother away from her children. Perhaps Aranea didn't care about that, but he did and it would have tainted their entire relationship. Ezra would have never forgiven him. His children would always struggle to understand. He could already foresee that future and that's why he had to let her go, send her away.

She confessed her love again and again a pained look crossed his face as his forelegs squeezed her a little tighter. It hurt to think that there was a woman that loved him that he was having to deny when he wanted that love and devotion so badly. He couldn't do it. He couldn't continue to sacrifice his morals for his own selfish happiness. "I can't," he told her softly after a moment, opening his eyes and tipping his head down to look at her. "You know I can't." This wasn't something new, they had been through this before. This was it. This was the end. He loosened his hold on her, knowing he had to finally let her go. It would be morning soon enough and then she would be gone. "Be safe," he instructed her, forever worried despite the hard decisions he had to make.

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She felt the tears fall as he started what she already expected. As much as she understood that he couldn't whatever, it didn't mean she hurt any less because of it. She almost wanted to beg him to let her stay, here with him. To give her the reason to. But she knew he wouldn't. She knew that in his heart, his children came first unlike herself. And he would never understand what she felt. It wasn't an easy thing to understand, honestly no one should feel the way she did. It was demented to think anyone could. He let loose of his grip on her, but she just found herself holding tighter. She clenched her eyes and clung her claws into his fur, if only for a few seconds. She found the courage to look up at him, her eyes an endless flow of tears. She went to give him a last kiss, as sensual as she felt, but inside a longing that would never come to be mended. But whether Ulric allowed her the last kiss or not, she would pull herself away from him, a nearly impossible task for her. She knew she couldn't look back now. And even though it may not have been a happy ending per say, she felt it was still better than what had originally transpired. If only on her end. She would go to live the rest of her miserable life, surrounded by her true family. That surely wasn't an honorable feeling or thought. A trail of her endless tears would follow her all the way back to Abaven. -Exit Aranea- Walk "Talk" Think