She couldn't get it out of her head, seeing Sirius begging to let him join his lost wife, refusing to leave the burning embers of the fire. Worried wasn't strong enough a word to describe how she felt for her friend. She had been in his position, skirting the edge of a cliff, wishing she could just take one more step and just be done with it. She was afraid for him, terrified even. She had put off her concerns over Resin again and again until it was too late - she refused to do the same with Sirius. She couldn't lose another one. She couldn't.

Tamsyn slipped away after the funeral, exhausted and expected back at the healer's den, but she had to find Asla first. She remembered what Sirius had told her about the girl growing into a fine leader and knew that if anyone in this pack would have the guts to stand their ground with Sirius it would be her. She limped over to where Asla was standing, giving the Reaper's shoulder a bump with her head and nodded off to the side, hoping to lead her away from the group for a moment.

Once they were far enough away that they wouldn't be over heard, she turned to face Asla, settling down onto her haunches to get the weight off of her injured... well, injured everything. There wasn't a single part of her that didn't hurt at this point and it had all begun to blend together into a constant, steady ache that she could tune out like a buzzing in her ears. "I'm sorry to bother you after.. all of this," she began, giving a tired wave of her paw to everything behind them. "I just don't know when I would get to talk to you before I have to go back to the Hallows and I won't forgive myself if I don't mention it to someone else."












"Tamsyn" | "Blue"

"Aslatiel Fatalis" The world had stopped with the insistence from her father that Azure and her mother were dead. Instead of sorrow, anger burned in the belly of the young warrior. For her father's sake, she kept it at bay, but inside it ate at her. She was angry that her family had ever left the Armada. They should have all stayed together like a family was supposed to. There was no reason to be apart. What was the point of even having a pack if there was no family in it? Reason after reason to hate them and be angry at them flashed through her mind. It was much easier to be angry than it was to be sad. Surprisingly, Tamsyn approached her, motioning for the Reaper to follow her away so they might speak in private. Aslatiel hadn't shed a tear. She had to be strong for all of those that were weaker. With her father having dissolved into a sorrowful state, she had to take the lead. It was her duty and it was her right. Later, perhaps she would mourn on her own. For now, however, she kept it locked deep inside. Tamsyn's words brought a freshly scarred brow arching. What was the woman even talking about? "Speak plainly, Tamsyn." She was too tired to decipher riddles. Blunt and honest would be the best course of action at present. The cream and grey woman waited for a response from the heavily injured fae. They would both need to sleep deeply tonight.

Tamsyn couldn't help the slight, sad smile that twitched at her lips when Asla told her to speak plainly. How many times had her father said the same thing? She appreciated it though and it allowed her expression to grow more serious as she spoke, cutting away the softness to her words as she told the Reaper what needed to be said - what she hoped would help keep her friend alive and safe from himself. "When your father and I found... them. He threw himself into hot embers and it was all I could do to keep him from laying there and letting it take him too. He begged me to leave him be, let him die." Her expression darkened as she recounted the events, but she forced herself to keep going, knowing she could go wallow in her own memories once this was done.

"He threw me off of him when I tried to pull him away from the remnants of the fire. I had to try countless times before I finally shoved him away. He threatened to rip one of my limbs off, cursed all of us for still needing him." As she spoke her tone continued to grow more and more strained till she finally had to stop, gritting her teeth for a moment as she collected herself so that she could continue. "I... I needed someone else to know what he was like. How broken he actually is - because I'm sure he'll try to hide it. I've tried to kill myself on multiple occasions, I know what it looks like." It was blunt, but it was all she had the ability to give right now.

"Please just... Please keep an eye on him. Keep him from doing anything stupid. I'd do it, but I have to go back to The Hallows. And he's... He's directing his hate at me right now so I don't know if I'm the right wolf to do it anyway." That probably hurt her more than it ever should. After dedicating so much of her life to supporting him, to being his General, to being his friend, to be shoved away when he obviously needed it most... It stung.







"Tamsyn" | "Blue"

"Aslatiel Fatalis" Grey ears swiveled forward as Tamsyn began to speak. The young wolf looked older with each word that passed the black fae's lips. She felt the weight of responsibility heavily. It threatened to crush her, but she was harder to put down than that. So her father had tried to kill himself. She accepted it as fact, considering Tamsyn's appearance. The woman looked as though she would collapse at any moment. Aslatiel looked inwardly. How did she feel about her father trying to off himself? The first feeling had been shame. Pity? Yeah, a bit of pity. Disgust. Disappointment. Was he really so selfish? Yes, he'd lost a wife, but they had lost a mother and a brother. Would he make them lose a father as well? Anger. Ah, there it was. Smoldering fury, so familiar, settled into the guts of Aslatiel Fatalis. She knew anger. Anger was comfortable. It was almost calming to her. It was easier to hold onto than any other emotion right about now. Asla nodded as Tamsyn spoke. What could she really say? "I'll watch him when I'm able." With Sirius flying off the rails, she was in charge. He couldn't be trusted to lead the Armada. Not until someone knocked some sense into him. "You should rest. You look like you're about to fall over." Asla didn't feel much for Tamsyn. The woman wasn't family. Besides, there were too many other things to worry about. Asla flashed the woman a sarcastic smile. "Happy birthday to me, I guess." She hadn't had time to sift through today's events. Hadn't been able to decide how she felt. Sarcasm was as easy as anger. From an outside perspective, one might think the young woman was taking the death of her family and the attempted suicide of her father surprisingly well. Well, she had to, didn't she? She had to be strong while the others were weak. She would do just that.

Tamsyn felt a little bit of relief when Asla agreed that she’d watch after her father when she was able. She understood how much responsibility the Reaper position held so she knew even Asla couldn’t be his keeper all the time, but just to have another set of eyes on him helped her anxiety tremendously. “Thank you, Asla. I appreciate it more than you know.” It was difficult to describe how much Sirius meant to her and even more difficult to explain why so she just left it at that.

She scoffed softly and nodded when Asla pointed out that she should be getting some rest. About to fall over didn’t even cut how she was feeling. “I will soon enough,” she assured her with a nod. Tried to give the Reaper a smile in return when she sarcastically mentioned her birthday, making a bit of guilt twist in her stomach. Her children would be turning a year old as well and there had been hardly a moment to even consider it. She had been planning to throw some sort of celebration, but with everything that had happened she wondered if any of them would be in the mood. Hopefully the gifts Resin had planned out would suffice.

She could tell Asla wasn’t exactly the type to lean on others or share emotions, especially not with someone like her, but she wanted to extend her help anyway. ”Asla, if you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. Just send for me and I’ll be here.” She got to her paws then with a bit of effort, wincing as she put weight onto her sore paws. She turned to start limping toward the healers den that had been pointed out to her, barely able to stay upright long enough to get there.












"Tamsyn" | "Blue"