This loss feels like a welcome home

Even when he wasn’t trying to hurt her, he somehow managed to at least rub salt in the wound. He did love her, but couldn’t. He could have loved her, but he was too selfish. She was his desperate light, but that wasn’t enough. Her mind and logic had already fully accepted that they could never be, that ever thinking they might was a fool’s dream, but her heart wasn’t as good at listening to reason. She didn’t know when she’d emotionally move on. Maybe it wouldn’t be until she she found someone else - if she found someone else - but she knew it would be a struggle to maintain what they had until she did.

Tamsyn sighed when he started to get up, shaking her head. “Sirius, stop,” she told him, firm and exasperated. She got up and hopped down from her cot, still slightly limping, but in far better shape than he currently was in. She blocked him from getting down, giving him a firm look. She was done trying to be nice to him. That clearly wasn’t getting though his thick head and she no longer had it in her to try. She knew he was broken beyond recognition so she had tried to be gentle, but that seemed to only make things worse.

“You’re not going anywhere in this state. Not just your physical state, but your mental state too. I don’t trust you to be alone. I don’t trust you with yourself.” Hard and blunt, but maybe that’s what he needed. “And don’t you dare say anything else about just letting you die. I’m not doing to let that happen and you know it. I didn’t let you pull me back from that edge back then just to watch you do it now.”

She sighed and simmered down a bit adding, “Let me help you find an outlet. You pushed me to fight and train and built my confidence. That helped me fight my nightmares and wanting to die. We need to find what that is for you. Something that isn’t Zee.”

"Tamsyn" | "Blue"