Life within Abaven - save for the mammoth hunt, she supposed - had been completely uneventful for some time now. For a long while now Thalia had felt almost uncomfortable with the lack of action. She was sent here with a purpose, a mission, and she fully intended on doing just what she'd promised Eligos she'd do. But instead she'd been growing idle, filling her belly and enjoying lazy days by the rapids. Perhaps she ought to get training again, perhaps take a long trip to the west to connect with her family, but it was hard to feel very motivated when the weather was so pleasant after such a long, stifling winter. It wasn't what she'd consider warm by any means, not compared to Aerie's weather, but it was definitely nicer than she remembered in many months.

It took a long while to convince herself to get up and move. Today wouldn't be a day for leisure, she'd decided, but for worship. Though she'd spoken to Theory about her God and what she believed, it was different than being surrounded by likeminded Abraxas. Reminding herself of why she was here - not in Abaven, but why she lived at all - was important, and she didn't want to stray too far from those thoughts. Finally pulling herself upright and shaking stray grass from her coat, she started moving, stretching out stiff muscles slowly but surely.

There had been a single constant in her life, beginning when she was a child: Thalia. Thinking about her, waiting for the next time she'd see her, wondering about her god - such a large part of her life had been carved out and reserved for only her. Theory mulled it over as she finished up renewing the border lines. Long, quiet solo patrols were both peaceful and maddening. They often lent themselves to deep reflection. It was sometimes uncomfortable to be alone with yourself for so long; it was one of the challenges she'd had to overcome, becoming leader so young. The quiet. The loneliness. Thalia had been her long-wished for reprieve.

Could her life's purpose encapsulate just one thing? Was it the pursuit of company, or just her pursuit of Thalia? She loved her family dearly and would they would always be her priority. It was why she shouldered this burden at all. For Poem, a safe place to raise her children. For Eulogy's children. For anyone who needed a meal and a safe harbor in their journey. This was just the beginning - she was on the cusp of... something. Occasionally she prayed, but it wasn't prayer in any formal sense. It was a quiet gratitude that she directed towards the universe. She knew god brought Thalia great comfort, purpose, and a sense of belonging to something greater. It intrigued her. Despite sharing a den and much of their time, Theo would admit that she was still sometimes almost cosmically lonely. She didn't understand why - she had everything she could ever ask for. Didn't she?

It didn't take long to track Thalia down. Although she'd lived in Abaven for a few seasons now, her scent was still perceptibly different than everyone else's. Pulling up alongside her, Theo slowed her step until they walked in time together. "Good morning," she murmured, brushing her shoulder along hers affectionately. "Where are you off to today?"

A temporary visit to Abaven had somehow turned into... living here, it seemed. Thalia had made to return home once but somehow the timing hadn't felt quite right, and she'd been torn as to what she'd tell Eligos when she got there. The quiet life that she led here with Thalia somehow felt fulfilling, in a way she hadn't expected it would. Here she could be dutiful and keep to herself; she could worship quietly, and not just her God. Her feelings for Thalia often had strange parallels to her feelings for her God, and she wondered more often than not how something that felt so right could simultaneously feel so wrong. This was not why she was here, and yet she'd worried she'd become powerless to her feelings. Or perhaps this was all part of His plan. She really didn't know and she worried that reconnecting with Aerie would only deepen her uncertainty.

Thalia had never done well when things weren't predictable, and Theory - and her feelings for her - were anything but. Somehow she'd managed to shake off the sharp edge she'd come to Abaven with so many seasons ago, but she still felt strange and out of place here most of the time, though most of that uneasiness melted away as soon as she heard Theory's familiar pawsteps. She was certain who was approaching before she even smelled her, and she let a small grin touched her lips as Theory moved to join her. "Good morning," she echoed her greeting with as much warmness as she tended to muster. Her smile said it all though, even if it faded soon after it appeared. "Nowhere in particular. I wanted to spend some time in prayer, but you're welcome to join me if you'd like." Her beliefs had always been a source of... not contention, not quite, but unease - at least on her end. Thalia was fiercely protective of her beliefs and Theory seemed to respect that, but she couldn't shake the feeling that one day it might come between them. Like she might not ever be capable of fully devoting herself to someone who didn't share her unyielding beliefs. She tried to push those thoughts from her mind for now though, not wanting to sour her mood.

They both had been politely ignoring the fact that their original agreement for Thalia's residency here had been exceeded long ago. If pressed, Theory would blame the unheard of winter they'd just experienced, but they both knew it was more than that. The life they had created together here worked for them. It brought them together but created space for solitude - and God. Theory had often wondered what occurred when Thalia excuse herself to worship. She was content to simply wait for her to return, but today felt different. She was aching for something more. Some kind of meaning. There was a quiet terror that undercut all of their time spent together, that one day this might all simply disintegrate. Thalia would leave her and Abaven and Theory would again turn inwards, burying parts of herself beneath the weight of it all until she was a stranger to herself. She needed the comfort and reassurance, and so when Thalia invited her along for her prayers, how could she say no? That smile always got her in the end.

"I'd love to," Theory answered earnestly. They fell easily into step as she followed by her side. It was all so easy - the way she matched her gait, the way Thalia was just perfectly shorter than her, the sounds of the plains surrounding them as they walked. Perfect and familiar. The grass rustled at either side of them as they cut a path through. No time had been allotted for spring or summer this year and she found herself missing the greenery of it all. Everything was already brown and orange and red and dead or dying. A few fall wildflowers hung on, but she could see the season's turn creeping at their edges. The tender petals had begun to shrivel and fall. "In fact," she murmured, interrupting the pleasant silence they so often shared, "I'd like you to teach me. How you pray." Her words were stilted but her intentions were true. Something had been missing from her life - and she had thought so long it was Thalia - but having her here in Abaven had proved that there was a small space still left unfilled. Theo wanted to see what her God was all about.

Things would not stay this way forever, and that was a fact Thalia was certain of. Life was full of uncertainty and chaos even when you tried to prevent it. In an idealistic world perhaps she could stay here with Theory forever, but her loyalty remained to Aerie and to her kin. Her loyalty to her God was above all else; it was hard to say her faith was above her family though, since the two were so intricately linked. She knew soon she'd have to report back to Eligos and confirm that her presence in Abaven was beneficial to them. She and Theory had never sat down and spoke of specifics, but she couldn't help but feel as though their packs were linked now. They felt like allies, so they must be, right? If Aerie was struck by war she believed that Theory would offer assistance, and Thalia would rally for aid from her family if the tables were turned. This was more than just a visit, more than just something done for enjoyment - she had to believe that.

She was surprised when Theory accepted her invitation, feeling suddenly self-conscious. Her ancestors had been more theatrical, wanting to show the world their power with teeth and claws; but the way of the Abraxas had changed. Eligos had taught her that. Her mind spun with thoughts as the two walked together quietly, caught off-guard yet again when she admitted she wanted Theory to teach her. It seemed an impossible task - how could you teach faith? - but Thalia wouldn't deny her. Spreading the word of her God was important, especially those willing to listen. "Okay," she started carefully. She fell silent for a long while as they walked together, Thalia's gait slowing eventually once the words seemed a little less far-away.

"I've never really prayed around anyone, so I'm sorry if I'm a bit... weird about things," she explained, her words as slow and careful as ever, giving Theory a faint smile before it wilted. "My family - historically, I mean - wasn't known for being quiet about their faith. One tenant of the Abraxas is that we are direct descendants of the Fallen God himself. Greatness is our birthright, but it must still be proven, not taken by force. Respect and admiration is more useful when it is birthed organically," Thalia explained, finally pausing to sink down onto the ground, her head and shoulders still held high.

"I'm rambling a little. I usually pray quietly, so this is a little different for me." Another pause as she tilted her head slightly downward, her eyes drifting closed. "I like to take time first thank my God for His sacrifices for us. His dethroning was what created us. He died so that we may live." Hypothetically, of course. The Fallen God had been banished to the mortal realm by force - defeated only because the weaker gods feared his power. "I find comfort in knowing that even He was not perfect. In his rage he created all the misfortunes in the world - disasters, sickness, even death itself. He reminds me that I am flawed too, and that all I can do is aspire to be better." There was more - so much more. Thalia could talk for hours. But did Theory want to listen? A moment of silence followed before she tilted her head toward Theory, trying to gauge her reaction.

She sat close to Thalia but far enough away that their fur wasn't quite touching. The tension between them was a single sinew tugged until it was nearly breaking. Knowing that Thalia often retreated to pray alone, Theory knew it was best to give her some space as she struggled to explain that which was most private. This was her sacred space and Theo was merely a visitor. The alpha stretched once, long and low, then laid her chin on her paws like a student listening to their mentor. "Respect and admiration is more useful when it is birthed organically." Finally Thalia sat down and Theory relaxed slightly at the sight of her letting some of that tension loosen. There still felt like an invisible tether drawing the two of them together, but it was slack now; easier to pull them back together without risking the ugly snapping of that connection. That was what felt sacred to her, the precious gravity that kept them orbiting each other despite the forces that threatened to pull them apart. After all, did she not feel respect and admiration for Thalia? Theory continued to listen and watch her, blue eyes now soft and molten with unspoken words. She'd wait until Thalia finished.

"In his rage he created all the misfortunes in the world - disasters, sickness, even death itself." A silence hung between them for a moment as Theory slowly absorbed her words. "Then he is not a benevolent god?" She asked softly. Her words weren't accusatory, just soft and slightly confused. "Does he... love?" Because god has brought you here. To me. And I love you. And it is terrifying and wonderful. Her thoughts raced in circles like a panicked creature. After all this time, she still worried one wrong move would drive Thalia away. The weather had favored Theo this past winter, albeit strangely. Huge snow drifts had kept Thalia safely in Abaven but it was likely that Eligos could - and would - recall her any day now. Each moment was precious.

Though this was her safe space, Thalia couldn't help but feel uneasy that the slightest thing said or done might cause whatever relationship to unravel. They'd talked some about her God and her family's faith, but less so about her faith. Somehow that felt more private, and all at once she felt immensely vulnerable in a way she hadn't felt before. Growing used to physical proximity with Theory had been a test of it's own - but this? This was something completely different, something she worried she'd never get used to. She wished suddenly that she'd spent more time with her father and that she'd picked his brain about her mother. Had she truly been a believer, or had she merely tolerated the Abraxas faith? Had that been a point of contention between them?

"Benevolent isn't the right word for it. He can be an impatient God, and He can be a cruel God when He deems it just, but... what He lacks in warmth he makes up for in love and devotion to us." He was merciless and unforgiving when his followers opposed him, she knew that as much. She believed that part of why Eligos had shifted his vision when creating Aerie. They couldn't make the mistakes that their ancestors had, no again, lest all of Boreas and Auster suffer His wrath. She'd seen it once before and she didn't doubt His next sign would be something more devastating. But He had spared them thus far and she had to believe that was an act done out of love, not mere chance. Thalia paused for a second and shifted where she sat, leaning slightly against Theory, as if contact alone would help stabilize her ever-tumultuous thoughts.

"Some of the Abraxas before us interpreted His word a bit differently than my immediate family does. I've heard stories of my family taking what they thought was theirs by force, and needlessly maiming and killing whoever crossed them. The Abraxas of new - we are different - and I don't believe that what they did was necessary." She wasn't sure calling it wrong was correct. The Abraxas were owed the world and more, but achieving that was never as easy as simply taking it. Nonbelievers had dethroned her very own God - sheer force of will wouldn't be enough for the Abraxas to grow their power, if they wanted anything permanent. History had showed as much. They had to be meticulous and careful, they had to plan instead of rush into things without thinking.

"He saved my mother from death, I've been told, you know. My father found her in a storm. He'd found her completely broken, left to die in the storm, and he nursed her back to health. He always told me God brought her to him. There's no other way she could've lived," she explained carefully. "And I saw how much my parents loved each other. I can't imagine my God has no room for love if He brought about something like they had." Thalia cleared her throat, feeling suddenly lightheaded. She fixed her eyes on the ground before her before she tilted her head toward Theory. "I.. have to think He loves if he's allowed me to find you," she admitted carefully. She'd never found a wolf that terrified her as much as Theory did; she had faith her God would protect her from anything but when it came to love, to this, she felt completely and utterly defenseless, and that was why she had to believe He was responsible for it.

It took all of her self control to quietly listen. She was so used to guiding and directing - it had been her blessing and her burden for so long - but even as Thalia struggled to find the right words, she knew that she wasn't looking for help. This was something that she had to do on her own. Not a benevolent God, then, but one who loved his creatures nonetheless. Wasn't that all love? Love was painful. And challenging. And difficult. Shaye had taught her as much, both in life and in death. She'd watched her father, burned by love countless times, continue on only to find Samara. That quiet, dark female had been a balm on his soul. Were they destined to find each other? Was there truly some higher power, looking down upon them with a great, impassive gaze? Her skin prickled and her hackles slowly rose as if an electric current passed through the air between them. It felt... right.

She nodded once in quick, decisive agreement when Thalia murmured that she did not believe maiming and killing was necessary. That much they could agree on. Tana and Shaye had been wrenched from her far before she'd been ready. Theory couldn't imagine taking the life of another wolf who had caused her grievous harm. But if they came for her family... for Thalia... for her pack... the mere thought stilled her. If they came for the ones she loved, she would protect them. Defend them at all costs.

I have to think He loves if he's allowed me to find you. She let out one breath, long and low. Theory shifted against her, pressing her weight into Thalia's side before she gently laid her head across her shoulders. It felt right. As if every pawstep of her life had led her here. "He must have guided us both," she responded quietly. Theory believed it. From the moment they'd met, a single golden thread had seemed to settle into place, connecting them across any distance. Pulling and pulling back towards each other until they'd found themselves here, in this moment, lying together on the plains. "If I could, I'd like to thank Him. For leading us here, to this moment. For bringing you to Abaven." Theory closed her eyes and sent up a silent prayer as she nudged her nose into the soft curve of the back of Thalia's ear. "You feel it too, don't you? It is love, yes, but also something more," she added, her voice barely above a whisper.

It was strange talking to someone else about her God at all, let alone a non-Abraxas. She worried Theory wouldn't begin to understand what she was trying to explain, but at the very least she seemed receptive to learning, even if not belief. True belief seemed something else entirely. Something that couldn't just be taught, but something an individual had to find their own. She wished suddenly she'd learned more about how her father and mother had met. She knew the most basic elements of their story; she'd been on the brink of death and Typhon had saved her. She knew in the face of desperation that faith was more easily found - she'd latched on to her face more tightly after her parents had left, after the volcano had erupted and taken Malleus with it. But could the same kind of faith be found in the most ordinary of circumstances? Somehow what she had with Theory felt anything but normal though. She supposed that was exactly what love was meant to feel like. It was something otherworldly, ethereal and powerful, and fragile like something that might shatter with the smallest misstep.

She loved her. Thalia had known it for awhile, but words never came easily to her and she doubted time would change that any. "I love you, Theory Destruction," she breathed quietly as she lay against her. Slowly she twisted around to bury her nose in the fur of her chest, feeling the exact same way - everything in life had led them both to this particular moment, and for good reason. Theory's quiet prayer sent a quiet ripple of delight through her. "I thank Him every day for bringing us together. I've never felt His presence as much as I do when I'm with you," Thalia admitted softly. She'd never spoken her feelings so openly and honestly, and she felt more vulnerable than she'd ever had before. "This is where we're meant to be. I'm sure of it." She'd come to Abaven with a purpose, but she'd found much more than she bargained for, certainly more than Eligos ever anticipated. Their union would make both of their families stronger, Thalia was sure of it. Soon she'd return to Eligos to tell him what she'd learned - not only did she feel she'd learned of Abaven's weaknesses, but likewise she felt she'd uncovered her own, and together they could only be a stronger force united.