Ulric left the place where Aranea and their pups had died and began to move into the castle, pausing only long enough to wash the dirt off of his paws. He felt like a ghost haunting the halls as he moved up to the rooms where he and his children lived and for a moment he came to a stop at the beginning of the corridor. He looked at the doors that led to their rooms, feeling a bit of life returning to him as he thought of them. Jane, Emile, Ezra... Lilith. His sweet Lilith. Death had taken a lot from him, not just today, but it hadn't taken his sweet ruby eyed girl. It had come close, but she was strong. His fighter.

He walked toward her room and found the door ajar, gently rapping his paw on the door to get her attention before he slipped inside. He didn't say anything at first and as much as he tried to keep his emotions held back his exhaustion at the whole situation was sure to shine through in his expression. But it was over now. It was over and all he wanted to do was cherish the children he still had left. He had lost Everlyse and now those nameless pups were gone too. Lilith, Jane, Emile, and Ezra. They mattered more to him than the world. Ulric walked over to his white and gray spotted girl and settled onto his haunches, gently pulling her into a hug as he tucked his head down into her scruff. "I'm sorry, Lil," he rumbled quietly, emotion thick on his voice, "I know you don't like hugs, I just... I just need one, okay? Just one."

Ulric Adravendi

Lil was laying in her room, debating if she wanted to go out an dtry and patrol. She felt good today, or better than most days at least. She almost hoped that Ezra would come back and patrol with her again. A smile played on her features as her thoughts shifted to her father. He’d been so busy since he returned she had barely seen him since then. She was told vaguely about Aranea, though she hadn’t seen the woman Lillith knew she was preganant. Though her father never told her about the woman she knew the two had some deeper history. Part of her had silently wondered if she would be given younger brothers and sisters. She tried not to get too excited, especially with no one specifically telling her.

The thoughts were heavy on her mind today, but at the sound of rapping paws against her door the garnet gazed girl looked up to find her father’s face. He was quiet and her brighte expression shifted slightly as she took in the haunted look on his own features. Speckled ears fell to her head as he paced forward and very carefully wrapped her into a close hug. After seeing his face she wouldn’t have dreamed of denying him he embrace even as he apologized for his actions. His deep voice muffled against her fur, but she could feel the darkness of his voice. She wasn’t stupid, and could tell something bad had happened.

Lilith stayed quiet, her support was voiceless. She pressed against him lovingly, giving into his affection whole heartedly. She held onto her father back, wrapping her own dainty paws around him as she ran tiny paws through his soft brown fur. Lil wouldn’t let go until he needed her to, Ulric meant the world to the yearling girl, she’d give anything to keep him liek this with her, even if she had to ignore the discomfort of physical affection. She would pretend as long as he needed, but the truth was she needed his arms around her as much as he needed her.

Unlike his daughter, Ulric had always been someone that thrived on physical affection. He liked to embrace and give affection. It's how he could be sure that those he cared for knew how dear they were to him. Learning that Lilith didn't like that kind of affection had been an adjustment for him, but he would do anything to keep her happy. However, just this once, just in this moment of heartbreak and loss, he needed to feel her there with him and know that she was okay. It was like just seeing her there or just hearing her voice wasn't enough. There had been a very real period of time where he thought that he might lose his little girl and seeing those pups that had died despite his very best efforts to prevent their deaths had reminded him of that. It brought back that fear he had felt sitting at her bedside, hoping that she got better and watching as all of the treatments any of the healers he asked to help continued to not work. She was his blessing, the one he had managed to save.

When Lilith leaned into him and wrapped her forelegs around him in return he felt relief wash over him and a soft, shaky sigh passed his lips as he held her just a little tighter. She was okay. She was here and she was okay. He just kept repeating that to himself while he held her, keeping her smaller form against him for a long, lingering moment. She felt so delicate and fragile in his oversized embrace and he felt like he was holding the most precious little thing in the world - which in his eyes she was. After a while he felt himself slowly begin to be able to breathe a little easier, the panic that had crept up on him beginning to fade. There was still more emotions that he didn't want to unpack around his sweet girl, but she helped to ease that fear and he was so grateful for her for just that alone.

"Thank you, Lil," he said softly as he lifted his head from her scruff, giving her a gentle smile when he looked down at her with her beautiful garnet eyes. He gently released her from his embrace then, settling beside her with just his paw over hers how they had laid so many times before. Even just that small touch, that small reassurance that she was real, warmed his heart. He gave her paw a gentle squeeze as his smile faded, resting his head on the bed beside his foreleg dejectedly. He knew that news had gotten around about Aranea and it was something that as much as he wanted to keep it quiet there was little he could do about it. Between having certain wolves carry supplies out to her when he had her staying in the gardens to him doing it himself once she was moved closer to the castle it was impossible to not know that something was going on.

"The pups didn't make it," he told her softly as if to explain what had gotten him into this state. He knew she wouldn't ask. She was too kind, too gentle. She deserved to know though. He didn't want his children to still be expecting the half siblings that were never coming even though he had never explicitly told them about the pups. He hadn't gotten the chance. "Aranea is gone too. They were all too sick, I couldn't save them." He tried to be as gentle with his words as he could, but it was a harsh, sad truth. At a certain point he had to just say what it was.

Ulric Adravendi

She could feel the tension roll off him as she wrapped her little paws around her father. He was supposed to be the strong pillar that she held onto but she could feel the cracks as they spread over him. Lil didn’t often see this kind of emotion in him, the only other times she could remember were more like fever dreams. Those really scary nights when she had been so sick she couldn’t even comprehend her surroundings. Those memories of him sitting beside her, crying over her, praying to whatever power might help her because nothing but divine intervention could.

Lillith didn’t know how long he held onto her but she had long relaxed against him, letting him support her as his protective form surrounded her. Eventually though, he did pull away slightly to bring his silver eyes to her deep red gaze. He thanked her, of anyone he knew the best that she wasn’t a very huggy wolf. It wasn’t how she preferred to show affection, but she would do anything for her dad, especially letting him hug her for as long as he needed to. She knew she was a burden more than a help, and wanted to do whatever she could. ”You’re welcome, Daddy.” She told him sweetly, hanging on to her pup like innocence as she hurtled towards adulthood. Lilith reached up and gave him a kiss on his cheek before they both settled against the bed, his paw around hers.

The yearling girl lowered her head over her arms, mirroring her father’s position. She wouldn’t ask him, she would have never asked him, but soon enough the reason for his heartache was revealed. She hadn’t been certain about Aranea and everything that happened, but she was able to form an idea. Lil thought that she had heard screaming earlier, she hoped it had just been her imagination. Her dappled ears lowered to her head in shared sadness, there was nothing anyone could have done if her father wasn’t able to. ”Oh, Daddy.” Shimmering tears filled her eyes but she blinked them back as she leaned over and nuzzled his cheek.

”I know you tried your hardest.” She told him innocently, completely unaware of the finer details of the relationship he had with Aranea and everything that happened. ”Like you did with me.” She had looked death in the face, how many times had Ulric told her he loved her like it was the last time he’d ever do so. She was alive because of him, because of his love and care.

Ulric let his eyes close for a moment as Lillith nuzzled his cheek, letting himself draw some comfort from his sweet daughter's affection. He didn't feel like he deserved the confidence she had in him, but he always appreciated it all the same. He knew that she'd continue to grow up and one day she'd have to face the harsher realities of the world, but he wasn't ready for her to lose this sweet innocence. He liked to think that he had done everything he could, but when it was his fault that this happened in the first place it was hard for him to give himself any slack. He fully felt the blame for their deaths, even though Aranea in the end had been the one to do what caused it. It was just easier for him to put the blame on himself than to point blame at a woman that was now dead.

She twisted at his heart when she mentioned how he had tried his hardest to save her as if she could read his thoughts, a small smile pulling at his lips. She was his blessing, his one time that praying to whatever powers there were in the universe actually paid off. He had lost so much in his life again and again, but when Lillith was on death's door he pleaded again and again for them to not take his little girl and they had complied. His paw gently squeezed hers and he leaned forward to gently kiss her forehead. He didn't know how much she remembered from the days when she was sick, but he silently hoped it wasn't much. All those days being lost in a fever that wouldn't relent, all the nights of watching her slip in and out of consciousness... It still haunted his nightmares from time to time.

"My sweet, little fighter," he rumbled softly, emotion squeezing at his throat as he gazed lovingly at her. He couldn't possibly express how happy he was that she was still here, that he got the chance to watch her grow up into the beautiful young woman that she was now. "I helped all I could, but you saved yourself. It was all because of your strength and your fight that you're still here. I just supported you along the way and I'll continue to be here for you for the rest of my days." He gently lifted the paw he was holding and left a tender kiss on her pale toes.

He knew he had to face the outside world once more sooner or later, especially to tell Eska the news, but it was hard to pull himself away from Lillith's side. "I better go tell the others... Will you come patrolling with me tomorrow? I'd love to spend some time with you."

Ulric Adravendi

She knew he was hurting, and she would remain close, sharing in sad affections for as long as he needed. More than her sickness though, she was reminded of those first few days after her mother was decidedly missing. The days when uncertainty lingered and Ulric held onto them all so tightly while at the same time juggled searching for the woman that so easily left them… Lilith leaned into his affection, grateful to have him and forever scared of the moment that she wouldn’t. She tried to comfort him but he refuted her softly, building her up as he refused to to deny blame. She tried to keep her smile up for him, especially as he went on. She was here because she fought for her life, he was just her support system. Here for her as long as he still had breath in his body.

He kissed her paw but Lillith could tell their moments together were growing few, he’d stopped to take comfort in her before even telling those involved that Aranea was dead. Lil swallowed back the emotions that were brought up in her again and she put a smile on just for her father, to take heart before the harrowing labor he had before him. ”I will.” She promised him. ”I want more time with you, too.” She added as she reclined back into the soft furs of her bed, knowing she would be asleep by the time he reached the stairwell. ”I love you.” She reminded him softly before lowering her silver features to her paws.