Consolation Prize
Briar ♡
06-21-2021, 11:32 PM
Ashen's summer festival had been one to remember! Artorias had gotten to meet many new wolves, enjoyed a delicious feast and celebrated summer with friends and family, fought in a tournament and proven his valor and skills for the Hallows by making it to the finals, and he'd gotten to witness a lovely wedding ceremony between Plague and Void as the two brutes were wed. It was the perfect way to cap off summer after the horrendous winter they'd all endured, and it gave him a lot of ideas of events he could host in the Hallows when he became alpha. But most importantly to him, he'd gotten to spent this time with Briar.
After the tournament though, he'd noticed his beloved girlfriend noticeably more sour in mood. She tried her best to keep it hidden behind a mask of princess-like decorum, but Artorias saw straight through her facade. Something had been bothering the Fatalis princess. Even through the wedding, despite sitting next to him and letting him be lovey with her, something about her demeanor felt off... colder, distant, distracted. Had he done something to put her off? He couldn't recall anything specific off the top of his head, but he was also a rookie when it came to relationship stuff. He was still very much learning as he went.
Once the wedding ceremony had concluded and the remaining wolves milled about and socialized, Artorias gave Briar a little nudge and motioned wordlessly for her to follow him. He quietly led her down to the beaches just south of the white forest, stealing her away for a private moment to themselves. His paws hit the soft golden sands with a quiet crunch, the calming lapping of the waves filling his ears while he followed the curve of the beach until the clamor of conversation faded into silence and only the waves could be heard. Artorias glanced over at Briar in the dark, her form just barely silhouetted by the silver moonlight. His breath caught; she looked so beautiful with the silvery outline accenting her form against the dark waters and bluish-looking sand in the night.
Smiling mostly to himself, Artorias came to a stop and sat back on his haunches to gaze out over the ocean glistening with the moon and starlight. "Plague and Void looked so happy, didn't they? Makes me wonder what my own wedding will be like one day," he said and shot her a teasing grin while gazing at her with a lovestruck expression while he gazed deeply into her gorgeous turquoise eyes. "You look so beautiful in the moonlight." He leaned closer to steal a soft kiss from her lips. Then he remembered he had brought her out here for a specific reason and redirected himself from his flirting before he got too lost in her breathtaking kisses. "What's wrong, Briar?" he asked softly, leaning closer to nose her cheek tenderly. There wasn't a question of if something was bothering her in his words; he knew her well enough to know she wasn't okay.
06-23-2021, 06:29 PM
If she was being honest, once she lost her fight against Avantika in the first round of the tournament there was a very real part of her that just wanted to abandon the festival and go back home. When Artorias' sister was declared the winner she had bowed out as gracefully as she could manage, giving the girl a dip of her head, before turning around to leave. The only thing that stood in her way was Artorias' warm, amber eyes and big, encouraging smile. Somehow that just hurt more and yet she still couldn't manage to tell him that she wasn't going to stay for the rest of the fights. His excitement was contagious and so she had stayed, sitting on the sidelines and watching him win fight after fight, till he got all the way to the finals. It finally took him facing off against the giant wolf that was Ulric's son Ezra for him to lose and really, at least from where Briar was sitting, it just looked like Ezra got in a lucky hit. Artorias' skill and talent was amazing... something that just dug salt into the wound.
She had pulled a smile onto her face though and given him a kiss as he walked out of the ring, congratulating him on a job well done, doing her very best to hide her own doubts and upset. She didn't want to ruin things for him and now she felt like she couldn't just leave him without him asking about it or making it a whole thing so she stayed. The food had been good and the wedding was beautiful, but her thoughts were all over the place the whole time. She'd return any affections or kisses he gave her and she sat dutifully at his side the whole time, hoping maybe he wouldn't notice. Of course, she should have known better than to think she could hide her emotions from him like that considering how well he knew her and how he seemed to be able to look right through any mask she put on, but she was too distracted by her own thoughts to really think of that.
After the festival and wedding were basically over, Artorias motioned for her to follow him and with a surprising amount of reluctance she went along with him. She never thought she'd not want to spend time alone with Artorias, but she managed. In all her efforts to just pretend everything was fine, she followed him down to the beach and they walked together along the moonlit sands until the sounds of the other wolves back at the festival faded into the background. Her turquoise gaze lingered on the sand in front of her paws as they walked until Artorias spoke, mentioning how happy Void and Plague had looked during their ceremony and the wonder of how his wedding might be one day. The thought caught her off guard enough to pull her out of her thoughts for a moment, bringing her gaze up to meet his.
She wanted to grin that goofy, lovey grin he often made her smile when he complimented her and when she thought about the wedding they might have, but she felt guilty. She had let her family down in the tournament, but that was just the latest in a line of losses. The one and only spar she had never won had been against Gossamer and she still wasn't convinced that her sister hadn't been going easy on her. She had failed at becoming a healer and no matter how much she trained she felt like she just never made any progress in her fighting. He was this fantastic fighter and so smart and kind. He was going to be the alpha of a pack. Ever since she started thinking about their life together and how she was going to need to lead with him and support him the way her mother had done with her father she had just piled more pressure on herself. She wanted to be worthy of standing with him - not just be there because he loved her.
His soft kiss made her ears flick uncertainly, but she returned it anyway, the affection feeling undeserved. Then, just what she had been trying to avoid, he asked her what was wrong. She almost tried to put a smile on, almost tried to ask him what he meant as if everything was perfectly fine, but she couldn't force herself to do that. Her soft, forced smile faded and she looked away from him, fixing her gaze on the sands again. She didn't even know where to begin and even if she did explain how she was feeling she knew he'd just insist that didn't matter, that she was good enough, all of the sweet things she had come to expect from him.
Briar sighed, her ears folding back against her head. "Artorias, you're... you're going to make a great alpha one day. I just... I don't know if I'm a good fit to be with you when you do that. I've never won any fights. I've been bad at everything I done. You deserve someone that can lead with you and not... be a burden." She turned away from him then, starting to walk down the beach toward the Armada's territory. It hurt too much and was too deeply frustrating to be next to someone that she loved so much, but felt so inadequate next to.
06-23-2021, 09:57 PM
Artorias was not blind to how Briar reacted to his kiss. She reciprocated the gentle brush of her lips against his, but there was no passion behind it. It felt forced, hollow, like she was going through the motions without any of the intention. Artorias eyed her face with bewilderment from her folded back ears to the uncertain expression on her face. She tried to give him a feigned smile, but it quickly died. He was about to ask again what was wrong when Briar began to speak her mind. Her words, while praise for him, felt like a dagger being driven slowly into his chest. Her sweet voice held no warmth or softness to it the way it usually did when she spoke to him. Then she confessed that she didn't believe she was the best fit to be with him and that he should be with someone who was a better fit and not a burden.
Artorias' expression sank, a look of confusion and hurt on his face. His mouth hung open, wanting to say something, to desperately deny everything she was saying, but he was too shocked to do anything but watch as Briar turned and began to walk away from him. Wide amber eyes reflected the heartbreak he was experiencing, the tightness in his chest making his pulse race hard in his veins. He didn't know what to do or how to react or what to say. If any other wolf had dared say those sorts of things about her that she'd said about herself, Artorias would have taken that wolf's face off. But this was Briar struggling with herself. He couldn't fight that. So what the hell was he supposed to do?!
"Briar! Hey, wait! Briar!" he shouted as he ran after her, chasing her down until he was trotting alongside her down the beach, having to speed walk to keep pace with her. Why was she trying to get away from him so badly? "Briar, what are you talking about? I've never cared about how many fights you won. That doesn't matter to me! You matter to me." Huffing an angry breath, he picked up a few steps to get himself ahead of her and try to block her exit with his body, raising his paws to press against her chest and stop her. "Will you please stop trying to walk away and talk to me? What's gotten into you? Where did this come from?" He didn't know where Briar's sudden bout of self deprecation and doubts had come from, but they had blindsided him. Did she really want to leave him? Had he done something wrong? Had he made her feel inadequate somehow? He really had no idea, and he had no idea how to fix this, but he had to try.
He couldn't lose his Briar... Not after he'd lost so much already.
06-27-2021, 03:16 PM
Briar bit her lip as she tried to hold back angry, frustrated tears while she stormed off, desperately trying to keep him from seeing her cry. She wasn't even mad at him - she was just mad at herself. Of course he wouldn't just let her leave though and she grit her teeth at the sound of him calling her name, trying to get her to stop. She wouldn't stop, she kept trudging forward even as he ran up beside her, keeping her turquoise gaze fixed hard on the ground in front of her and refusing to look over at him. Somehow him insisting that he didn't care about her wins and that he only cared about her hurt more. She cared about her fighting and her skills and how she would look next to him. She didn't want anyone to see him with her once he started leading The Hallows and just see her as some pretty face that got some kind of special privilege because he loved her. She was a Fatalis. She had to live up to that and so far all she had done was fail.
Suddenly he was in front of her, forcing her to skid to a halt as his paw pressed to her chest, leaving her no choice but to finally look up at him again. She knew she wouldn't be able to hide the hurt and disappointment and frustration in her expression so she didn't try. Tears collected in the corners of her eyes and all she really wanted to do was lash out and yell and shove him away. But even that felt hard to do when she looked into those amber eyes she loved that belonged to the boy she loved. Everything was hard. Nothing was easy, nothing came naturally. Not understanding what was happening with her family, not figuring out what she wanted to do with her life, and most certainly not finding any confidence in herself. "It's... It's not your fault," she managed after a moment, though her voice was strained and choked with emotion. She brought a paw to his that was on her chest and pulled it away, forcing him to let her go. "I just... I just need some time, okay? Please, just... I'm..."
She looked away from him again with a hard sigh, her fur bristling as she kicked a paw full of sand toward the ocean. Gods, she couldn't even speak well enough to say how she was feeling! "I'm not good enough for you, Artorias. Can't you understand that? You need someone that can... can defend a pack with you a-and be a good leader or something. I couldn't even manage to be a healer, I'm not that good of a tracker, I just... I'm just... What? A Fatalis Princess? Great, what good that's done me." Her throat hurt from all the tears and emotion she was trying to keep in check and even still she ultimately failed. Tears stained her cheeks and she growled with frustration, turning away from him and kicking more sand. "Just go," she muttered, falling back on to her haunches with her head hanging. "Just... Please just leave me alone for a while, okay? Please..."
06-27-2021, 07:28 PM
Despite his protestation and insistence that she stop and talk to him, Briar said nothing all throughout his efforts to get her to open up and clue him in on what was going on in her head. Anger and frustration and self-deprecation filled her eyes while crystalline tears poured down her face. Artorias had seen Briar cry before, right after her mother and brother had died, but this felt different. This was a pain directed at herself from within her own heart. Briar was waging a furious war with herself and nothing he said seemed to be working or even helping the situation. When Briar lifted her paw to rest it over his on her chest he had a brief glimmer of hope that maybe he was getting through to her. But that hope died seconds later when she pushed his touch away from her, rejecting his affections. Artorias' expression dropped in a look of shock and bewilderment. Briar was rejecting him, refusing him, denying him.
Leaving him.
Briar tried to reassure him that it wasn't his fault, that she needed time alone, away from him. She berated herself more, kicking sand angrily towards the ocean while chastising herself for not being good enough, for giving up on being a healer and a hunter, and being nothing more than a princess. Artorias' confusion only deepened with every pained word she muttered. He could not see the Briar she was seeing. All he saw before him was a beautiful and talented young fae who had so much love and kindness to offer. He saw his best friend who had helped get him through the darkest and toughest times of his life. He didn't see this failure she spoke of, this wolf so unworthy of him, as if he were some sort of messiah. Did she not see that he was no better than her? As far as he was concerned, they were the same.
More than anything, seeing Briar reduced to a crying, loathing mess crushed his soul. She begged him to leave her alone, to go away, but just as she refused to see his perspective of her, he refused to entertain her demands. Amber eyes narrowed with determined focus and the boy moved closer to her, undeterred by her volatile state. He didn't know if wild, rampant emotions ran in the Fatalis family, but he didn't care. Briar, the girl he cared so deeply for, was hurting. He wasn't going to leave her alone, not now. "I'm not going anywhere," he muttered in defiant reply, lifting a paw to stroke Briar's cheek and wipe away some tears while her head hung in defeat. "I'm not gonna let you sit here and beat yourself up unjustly. Don't you know..." You're mine. "...how much I care about you?" She should have known him better by now. Artorias wasn't the type of wolf to abandon a wolf he cared about. "Briar... don't do this."
06-28-2021, 11:15 AM
(This post was last modified: 06-28-2021, 12:13 PM by Briar. Edited 1 time in total.)
Briar's eyes squeezed shut and she bit her lip as she struggled against the desire to lean into his touch, forcing herself to sit still while he wiped away her tears instead of falling into his embrace like she most certainly wanted to. Everything hurt and everything was hard and she hated it all. None of it was fair. She knew he wouldn't just leave her when she asked, but she needed him to. She couldn't think straight while he was around, she couldn't untangle her love from logic when she was looking at him. She needed him to leave her. He deserved so much better than her and nothing was going to convince her otherwise right now. He wasn't going to walk away willingly so she was going to have to be the one to make that final blow to make him leave her and that thought hurt and broke her more than anything else had. Not even losing her mother and brother or getting injured by her father had hurt this much.
Gritting her teeth, she shoved a paw into his chest, pushing him away, unknowingly trembling lightly as she barely held it together. "Get out of here, Artorias!" she yelled as she got to her paws, unable to look at him. "We... We can't be together! So just get out of here! Go... Go find someone better than me." She wanted to say something like how she didn't care about him or something that might drive the final dagger in to make him give up on him, but she couldn't manage to get the words past her lips. She knew those things would be lies, but she couldn't even force herself to lie to him even if it was to save him from being with her. She shoved past him and took off at a hard run back toward home, leaving her heart behind with him and her vision blurring with angry tears, not stopping until she reached the star den well within the Armada territory, falling into it and crumpling in the corner in a mess of furious, angry, heartbroken sobs.
06-28-2021, 10:55 PM
Artorias stared at Briar while she squeezed her eyes shut to avoid looking at him and trembled, looking like she was about to crumple in on herself at any moment. He was trying so, so hard to help her see the way he saw her. But that was a dream that would never come to fruition. Briar shoved against his chest with all her might, catching Artorias off guard and sending him falling back onto his haunches on the sand, almost toppling over in his surprise. Her push hadn't hurt him in any way, but the emotion that came with it had pained him like nothing he'd ever felt before. Artorias' expression dropped while he stared in shock at Briar while the Fatalis princess shouted at him to go away and declared they couldn't be together anymore. She implored him to find someone better to be with, and then before he could collect his thoughts or even comprehend what had just happened, Briar shoved past him, nearly toppling him over in his stupor while she sprinted away into the night.
Wide, heartbroken eyes stared off after her, gazing blankly into the darkness where Briar had disappeared. He didn't move for several long minutes; he couldn't. He was too taken aback and hurt by Briar's words and actions. His girlfriend, his lover, his best friend had pushed him aside and killed their relationship. He didn't notice his vision blurring while a few errant tears fell down his muzzle, getting lost in the sand as they dropped. His chest felt tight and ached like something had been torn out of him. His heart was ripped asunder and he didn't know what he could have done differently. He had tried so, so hard, fought for his relationship and Briar had just... given it up.
"Briar..." he whispered into the warm evening air, his words carried into oblivion by the coastal breeze and drowned by the washing of the waves. Her name hurt the pieces of his heart and it became harder to breathe. He'd never felt emotional pain and loss like this before. His mother's death had left a permanent scar on his heart, but at least then he'd had the time to come to accept the inevitable. Briar had come swiftly and suddenly, tearing him apart and crushing his soul out of the blue.
It took a long while before he could muster up the strength to pull himself from the ground. He didn't bother to shake the sand from his fur before he turned to head back the way he had come, pausing long enough to glance down at Briar's paw prints left in the sand. With a frown, Artorias turned his back to the last remnants of his now ex girlfriend, moving down the beach to find his family and head back home, trying to ignore the numbness that had taken him over to try and mask the hurt. Who would've thought the one to inflict the deepest hurt on him would be his Briar.
No... she wasn't his. Not any more.