Returning to camp was harder than he thought possible, but he needed to rest. He hadn’t slept in nearly two days, exhaustion was written on his features and he barely knew where he was. He was useless to his band, and even less to the one he loved. He was broken, his insides were torn apart. His heart and soul ripped out by Aslatiel, his true love. The one who was supposed to guard his heart had destroyed it instead. This had easily been one of the most difficult days of his life, and as he returned to the falls he didn’t see a clear path into the future. Everything was cloudy and he harbored a massive storm cloud above his head.

He avoided everyone and everything as best as he could. Especially Duchess, but she was doing much of the same. He’d nearly forgotten her betrayal after the searing pain Aslatiel delivered. Numbness returned ot him as he climbed the falls and found his place there at the top. He lowered his massive frame into a divet in the stone, close to the water so the crashing sound of water drowned out the sound of his thoughts. He curled up there, exhausted. Indigo lowered his head ot his paws and closed his eyes, willing himself to wake up from this nightmare that surrounded him.

He knew the rest of the band had heard Aslatiel as she tore into him, he didn’t want to know what they thought of him now. His head was a jumbled mess, he closed his eyes tight, praying for release and relief from this terrible scenario.


Indigo Arcturus Fatalis

Warning: Indigo should be considered a Mature Character.

Emersyn had done more than just hear the screaming fight that had disturbed the silence of their camp the night Indigo had brought his sister to join them. The large violet lady had been beginning her dawn patrol when the shouting started, audible even above the roar of the falls. Dusty purple and black ears flicked to catch the words that were being yelled, and she had made a beeline for the source of the sound, finding the two sibling-lovers, Aslatiel's furious words lashed at a shameful looking Indy. She didn't know whether she should intervene or not, so she had simply hid behind a copse of trees downwind of the two while they hashed it out, listening as best she could while not interrupting. If things turned physical, however, she would interject. It hadn't gone that far, thankfully, and Asla had settled for a venomous tongue lashing instead. Em only caught a few choice words, offering to kill someone, declaring that she hated "that woman and the children inside her". As soon as the bomb had exploded, it was over, and Asla was storming off, a very distraught Indigo giving chase.

That was the last Emersyn had seen Indigo for two days. When he hadn't returned by the first night, she strongly considered going after him to make sure he was all right. Her worst fear was finding him dead in some field, throat torn out by his murderous sister—but what if he had needed help and was all alone? In the end, her duty to the band kept her with the others. Without her, there would be no one to look after Gypsy, Segin, or the sheep. Duchess had also made herself scarce in his absence, though Em couldn't find herself regretting that too much. In the interim, Em tried to piece together what she had heard. It didn't make sense to her, but one sentence kept ringing out in her mind. "That woman and the children inside her." What had she meant by that? Indigo had made it very clear that none of them would be having children anytime soon with the band being so fresh. So what the hell was going on?

It was late afternoon on the second day of Indy's disappearance when she caught a hint of his scent, fresh on the wind at the edge of camp. Em's attention perked up and she instantly set to follow it, large paws crunching through the grass and dead leaves that had begun to change colors on the trees in preparation for winter. His trail led to the edge of the falls, then up, up the side of the cliff to the top of the falls. That was where she found him, a giant, sad, pathetic-looking purple lump sleeping on a stone. She gazed at him with concern, empathy, but also some trepidation. Something had occurred between him and Asla to spark such a powder keg, and she still didn't know the details or the guilty party yet. Wandering closer to him, Em came to sit down beside Indy, letting her body lean into his gently while she lifted a paw to run slow, soothing strokes down Indy's back and between his shoulders. "What happened?" she asked, simple and straightforward. She wouldn't mince words asking if he was okay; she could see that he wasn't. Best to get right to the matter at hand.

"Emersyn"

He needed sleep, but even now as he found the perfect place to drown ou this thoughts they became louder than ever. He couldn’t take them, everything hurt so bad. Every little reminder o the words said to him. He gasped for breath as he opened his eyes, and Emersyn filled his vision. His gaze focused on her pale purple form, she was calm and curious. Of course there was concern and empathy but she gave him his space. She didn’t immediately rush to his arms like Gypsy had when Aslatiel left him. He was thankful as she leaned against him and offered her support. The gentle affection of her and the way her paw traced his back.

What happened?

He sighed heavily and furrowed his brow wondering where to start. What didn’t happen? It felt like he was cut in half, like his heart and his soul were stripped from his body. Aslatiel was gone, Duchess had… ”You didn’t hear?” His voice was hoarse, even worse that he had to speak loudly if he wanted to contend with the falls. ”Duchess snuck off,” He started, realizing his mistake started there. He planned to be up and gone a few minutes but it was a few minutes too long and he’d left Aslatiel all night. ”Emersyn, she’s pregnant.” he looked away as he spoke again. ”Intentionally, against my wishes.”

He pressed a paw to his forehead as his headache returned, he leaned a little heavier into Emersyn. The numb feeling was returning, and it was a welcome reprieve. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation, maybe it was her presence. ”I didn’t know how to react, I didn’t know what to think or do so I came up here instead of going to Aslatiel. It was almost the spark that lit the kindling already oiled when I returned to camp. I don’t even know if I could have said anything different to change what happened. Not without…” Fundamentally changed his whole life, turning his back on everything he built. There was no solution, and Aslatiel didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. Stay the fuck away.

Indigo grit his teeth as her words replayed in his head again, the ache in his chest returned. Gone, she was gone.


Indigo Arcturus Fatalis

Warning: Indigo should be considered a Mature Character.

Indigo heaved a frustrated sigh, then asked incredulous if she didn't hear. Of course she had heard bits and pieces. She was pretty sure all of Boreas could have heard his sister's screaming. Quite impressive, the sound that came from such a small creature. "Pretend I didn't," she remarked, then let him continue on to explain. ”Duchess snuck off.” She nodded her head; yes, she had been aware of that. That had nothing to do with what she'd overheard, however. ”She’s pregnant.” That stopped Em in place, her paw frozen mid-stroke between his shoulders. Em felt like her heart had stopped beating for the moment, as if time had frozen in its entirety. Only the constantly flowing water assured her that nothing of the sort had occurred.

"Oh."

That was all Emersyn could say. That one word, so little that held so much in it. It was an acknowledgement of his situation and the band's situation, realization that Indigo had fucked up and that Duchess had betrayed him and betrayed them all, disgust at the trampy whore for doing such a slimy and loathsome thing, and hurt—hurt that she had been foolish enough to let herself believe that when Indigo had mentioned one day having children, he had meant with her. Of course he hadn't meant with her. It was always going to be Duchess. That flouncy little slut would throw herself at him and spread her legs for his cock seven days a week. She was small, petite, feminine, while Em was large, hardened, broken. To be so deluded to think that he'd ever really meant those things he'd said about her back in the castle... He was just trying to get under her tail. No, worse—he had gotten under her tail with those words! She'd had a vague suspicion that he was sleeping with the rest of the band, and that hadn't bothered her. Being made to believe she was beautiful, that he cared for her enough to one day consider a family with her, that was the lie that revolted her and made her want to run claws down his skin instead of a comforting paw.

But Emersyn was more composed than to let her hurt fester into anger. She had been made a fool of, but it was Indigo that had fucked his life up and was paying the price for it now. Thank the gods she'd convinced him that it was far too early to have pups, or it might have been her in this position! She gripped at the fur between his shoulder blades, trying to hold back the flurry of emotions stirring up inside her like a tornado making landfall. "Sounds like your sister loves you and wants you all to herself," Em surmised in as flat a voice as she could manage. "Knocking up Duchess definitely broke her heart. I don't know if that's something you can fix. Definitely not right now, maybe not ever." Em didn't give him more than a second to absorb what she said before she let the other shoe drop.

"So what are you going to do about Duchess? She betrayed you, put us all in jeopardy. Winter will be coming soon, and we haven't the resources nor manpower to care for a litter of pups and survive." She cast a frosty gaze down at Indy, raising a curious brow to hear what their fearless leader had in mind for punishing the trifling whore and making sure they all made it out alive. Because at this point, Em wouldn't hesitate to jump off this sinking ship; she would not die for Duchess' stupidity.

"Emersyn"

She froze. He felt the tension in her build as he told her exactly what had happened. Duchess betrayed him, went against his will and was putting them all in danger with her actions. He would have been able to see that more clearly were his mind sharper. He hadn’t been able to sleep and now he was suffering in part because of it. He felt sick since the moment Aslatiel left him and it hadn’t let up yet. Heart sick and upset in his belly Indigo felt, and looked, like a wreck. He knew he couldn’t keep going like this. He had to sleep, rest, and recover for the wolves that were counting on him. It was hard when he felt so much more like a shell than a leader.

It hurt even worse as Emersyn ceased her comforting touch, her voice turned flat but not uncaring. She was bothered much more than she let on but Indigo didn’t have the faculties to pursue. Her words bit and nipped, though they were nothing compared to what Aslatiel had said to him. Indigo had no intention of siring puppies anytime soon, the whole band knew that very clearly. He supplies herbs to plan that moment down the road. Once they were established. Duch picked the worst moment to go against him. He’d lost Aslatiel because he’d put so much trust in her. ”I know, there’s a lot about last night I regret.” Anything, he would have done nearly anything to reverse the events as they transpired.

She was gone and now he had a flailing band that needed his care and attention more than ever. He felt like he was physically wounded again, but now he had heavier decisions on his shoulders and what felt like less of a brain to work with. ”I don’t know. I have to do something, but...” He didn’t even know what to do with himself. ”I just want to sleep.” Indigo told her honestly. He was exhausted mentally and physically so even if he gave her a real answer it could and would likely change. ”What would you do?" He asked her softly but loud enough to be heard over the falls as he lowered his head to his paws.

Indigo Arcturus Fatalis

Warning: Indigo should be considered a Mature Character.

She could literally feel Indigo deflate when she ceased her affectionate actions to him, the poor sod crumbling in on himself. She wanted to feel bad for him, really she did, but he had been an equally guilty party in this affair. Duchess should not have been trusted, and yet he trusted her far too much for far too long. He'd blinded himself to her obsession with him and dismissed it. His action and inaction had directly caused this situation and damaged his relationship with his sister—and with her now too. She didn't know if she could trust Indy to take care of her and the band, let alone with anything more intimate with herself. Indy lamented his position and how he didn't know what to do, that he only wanted to sleep. "So sleep," she told him. He could get some shuteye now. It wasn't like things were going to be magically resolved now anyway; the fire would still be burning when he woke up. Might as well be refreshed to handle his new role as dad.

Then he asked her that fateful question. What would she do? Again Emersyn froze, her expression neutral but the look in her eyes hurt and conflicted. What would she do? Em had solved all of her problems with violence before now. If it was up to her, Duchess would probably be a corpse, and the bastards inside her belly nothing more than half-baked carcasses. She'd killed dozens of wolves—what difference would one more make? Would she be more of a monster for killing a soon-to-be mother for her treachery in order to preserve their survival? Did she care more about their little family than he did if she was willing to do that for them?

"I'm not you, Indigo," she said after a long moment of thought, fixing him with a passive stare. "I don't have the same emotional connections you do to her or those children. It's far easier for me to look at things logically, consider the facts without feeling guilty about any of it." She let her words sink in for a moment before trying to lay out the situation as she saw it. "Do you think those pups have a chance of survival once the winter comes? With Duchess out of commission until they're weaned, that leaves us one wolf down to hunt and help, and gives us a bigger drain on resources. If this winter turns out to be as devastating as the last one did, what do you think will kill those pups first? The cold? Lack of food? A bigger predator?" She looked away from Indy towards the falls as she continued. "That's not even considering us. We'll be down a hunter in a time of food scarcity. How are we all going to eat? Do you expect us to pick up the slack for Duchess? Bear the punishment for her crime while she gets to live her dream of being mother to your children?"

Emersyn heaved a sigh and shook her head. She turned her duo-toned eyes back down to Indigo, full of sadness and hurt, knowing he wouldn't like what she was saying, but someone had to make him see the bigger picture. "You don't have an easy choice no matter what you pick, Indigo. But you are going to have to make a choice and stick to it. Make your peace with what you decide is important to you. And gods willing, you learn something from it."

"Emersyn"

He did want a clear mind, there wasn’t much need for some hasty decision, but deep down he knew he had to do something. Duchess did put them all in danger, it was partially her fault Aslatiel was gone. Indigo never saw such treachery coming, he was blind to how far Duchess was willing to go. How much she didn’t understand the consequences of her actions. How much it would hurt him. He felt Emersyn’s distance and her sharp gaze, but he held it as she dismissed her question for now and told him to sleep. He’d get a better grasp on reality tomorrow.

Tonight he would sleep on her words. Emersyn did not hold her assessment back with any false pretense of emotion towards Duchess. That had been another of his mistakes, assuming everyone in the band loved the rest of the band as much as him and vice versa. Indigo listened, he didn’t argue any of her points as she gave him a valid argument to the position he felt he needed to take. Those were his children, and his fault, not theirs. He needed to bear the burden, not those innocent lives. But that also wasn’t entirely true, the whole band would feel the effects of this situation.

He could run to his father for help, but with Aslatiel retreating there it didn’t feel any more right. He could also return to the Hallows. They would be going into summer and he knew Ulric would help however he could. That was sharing the burden with the whole pack then. They didn’t deserve that either. So what was the best solution? He felt sick at the thought of harming Duchess or the puppies within even after knowing they could fall victim to a harsh winter.

There was no easy choice, as Emersyn stated. That was what he had vowed to do though wasn’t it? Be a refuge for the broken, the damned, and the unwanted. After all of it he couldn’t say he didn’t want to be a dad. He just hated it wasn’t planned like he’d wanted. ”You speak hard truths, but I’m thankful for them.” He told her softly, finally allowing his sapphire eyes to drop from hers, she hoped he learned from all of this. He had the hard way just like the rest of his life. He didn’t attempt to reclose the distance between them. He’d rendered a huge rift in more than one relationship. He didn’t take back anything he said to her though.

Indigo needed to sleep, his decisions could be made when he woke up. The time to get his thoughts clear and in order, and pull them from the fog around him. Indy quieted, gaze looking over the falls towards the camp down below. It didn’t look like a bomb had gone off but the real ramifications were yet to be truly seen. A soft sigh left him and he let silence fall between them. There was no apology he could make, nor forgiveness to beg for. There was only a better future, and better decisions, to be made.


Indigo Arcturus Fatalis

Warning: Indigo should be considered a Mature Character.

Emersyn was glad Indigo didn't try to apologize, didn't try to make light of the situation or offer excuses up for his actions and mistakes and faults. He accepted the blame like a man, taking responsibility for his actions. For that, Em could give him some credit and respect. Much of the trust between them had been damaged, potentially permanently so, but Indigo wasn't sniveling and trying to find an easy way out at the least. He understood the gravity of the situation and being careful and cautious with his actions and words now more than ever. He thanked her for her harsh dose of reality, to which the dusty violet fae silently nodded her head to him once. She knew he didn't like what he heard, but it was what he needed to hear. Nobody was going to sugarcoat their predicament; she preferred to be blunt and honest and deal with the facts. She was glad to see that Indy appreciated that as well.

Silence fell between the two of them, heavy as a foot of fresh snow on a cold winter. Only the flowing water of the river and falls kept the world from being totally quiet and lifeless around them. It didn't go unnoticed by Em how Indy didn't try to move back towards her, instead leaving a space between them, like a physical representation of the fissure he had created in their relationship. Em's heart hurt, her soul hurt, and a low burning anger seared in her mind. She felt betrayed, bitter, disappointed... all things she didn't expect when she agreed to join Indigo's band of purple outcasts. She wouldn't dump any of this on Indy right now though; he had enough on his mind to deal with. She could take care of herself for now while he got his shit sorted out with Duchess and made whatever decisions he needed to make. After all, she'd been the only one looking out for herself for so long—why was now any different?

"Do you want me to let you sleep up here, or are you coming back down to your bed?" She lifted her paw away from Indigo and stood, shaking off her coat of fallen leaves as she prepared to pick up what no doubt would be numerous back to back patrol shifts with him crashing in his downward spiral. Someone would have to tend to the hunting as well, she supposed. Em was beginning to feel more and more like a mother hen to these wolves, keeping them alive and preventing them from killing themselves with piss poor choices.

"Emersyn"

The distance she didn’t try to cross was further testament of the gap that now emerged between them. It hurt, these cascading effects of Duch’s decision to go against him. Everything was crumbling around him and he could do absolutely nothing to prevent or repair the damage to his life. To take back how much he hurt those he loved just by believing in Duchess when he never should have, for trusting her and being blind to the flaws they indulge in. This was never how anything was supposed to go, but maybe deep down he had seen it coming and wished so much for his sparkling vision that he had failed to see the reality that Emersyn so clearly laid out for him verbally and silently.

She spoke again, sensing as well as he did that there wasn’t anything more to be said right now. Tomorrow was a whole different story, but tonight he would finally sleep. She was essentially asking if he was going to return to camp with her. He thought he wanted to be alone but as she turned he felt his heart ache for company, for assurance that he wasn’t alone. His chest still ached, but he lifted himself from the divet in the stone. Silently Indigo lifted himself to follow, he needed his band. They were the reason he was here, they were the path that he chose. He needed to focus and immerse himself in the family he built before he lost them too.

”I’m right behind you,” Indigo offered softly. His voice was just as tired as his expression let on. He’d crossed the breaking point but onward he marched.


Indigo Arcturus Fatalis

Warning: Indigo should be considered a Mature Character.