Balthier had left her alone for hours, he needed the time for himself. It actually wasn't unusual really, but not after something like this. He had never yelled at Azzurra before, he had probably never shown any sort of discomfort to anyone. He was usually more neutral than anything, but especially with his family, especially with Azzie, he had never turned a coin like that.

When he returned from the overnight though you couldn't really tell because of the moon, he brought back another kill to see the one from the evening prior still outside the door. He hadn't expected Azzie to take care of it or eat it, but it did hit him with a different guilt than the kind after he had taken her. It had festered in him long enough, and he felt like he hated this guilt more than the last.

He dropped the new kill outside over the old one before entering the den yet again, standing with his back to her after he closed the door. Lingering like he was scared to even turn to face her. But he did after a few seconds, "Azzurra... Azzie." He reached his paw up hesitantly to gently brush against her shoulder, "I'm sorry." He felt more apologetic than he sounded, but he definitely didn't sound arrogant. He deeply regretted yelling at her, and making her feel how she did in the aftermath of the beautiful moment they shared together. Part of it he just couldn't help, and part of it he was just being stubborn not to confess.

"Azzurra & Balthier"

Azzurra didn't move far from where Balthier left her the day before. She was still laying in their bed, curled up and turned away from the door. At some point she had cried herself to fitful sleep, but she only slept in small chunks, her worries and thoughts keeping her awake. Every time she woke up she kept expecting to find Balthier there beside her, but he never was. All through the night this cycle repeated itself and by morning she was more exhausted and worn than she had been when he left. She didn't even realize that she hadn't eaten and didn't acknowledge her gnawing stomach. Her mind was too far away, too concerned about what she might do if he just never returned. She couldn't fight, she could barely hunt for herself. She had been so solely dependent on Balthier for so long that without him that it felt like a real fear that she might not survive without him. She supposed she could just return to Abaven, but everyone there felt like a stranger to her. She had spent her entire life closed away in her den, quietly fighting an illness while her father and Balthier cared for her.

But somehow the heartbreak hurt more than the fear of the unknown or the worries about her own survival. She kept thinking about him standing over her, yelling down at her, the frustration and anger from him burned into her memories. She kept running through everything from that day in her head, picking it apart, trying to figure out what she had done wrong to make him treat her that way. She didn't think she was in the wrong for questioning him on what was bothering him, but could she put it out of her mind without it festering more and causing even more hurt just to keep him close? Just to ease this heart ache? She still wanted to know and understand where things had gone wrong or what had bothered him so deeply, but she was afraid of the consequences if she continued to push for answers.

The sound of the door opening made her flinch and she lifted her head a bit to glance over her shoulder, seeing Balthier slip into the den and stand with his back to her for a long moment. Her ears folded back and her heart felt like it was in her throat as she put her head back down and continued to stare at the wall in front of her. It wasn't until he came to her, saying her name and apologizing with his dark paw brushing her shoulder that she finally lifted her head to look at him. Her tired eyes, red from crying and lack of sleep, found his familiar gaze and emotion squeezed at her chest. Part of her wanted to just accept his apology and pretend everything was fine so that she could try to go back to the way things were, to hold on to a little bit of the good and happy she had in her life, but her heart just wouldn't let her. "But... Why?" she asked softly, her voice slightly hoarse. It was fine and good for him to apologize, but she wanted to know why he had done what he had, why he was acting this way seemingly out of the blue.

"Azzurra & Balthier"

Looking down at her when they locked eyes was completely painful, and as her hoarse voice broke out, Balthier reached forward to attempt to grab her in a tight hug from behind. "I love you so much Azzie." He had insisted as he went to push his face into her scruff, though not through lies. His feelings for her were undenyable, and how she could be so hurt and confused was extremely understandable even to him. With his own worries, he didn't want to make her feel the same way. He looked back up at her with actual tears welling in his eyes, an entire emotional roller coaster he had exposed to her in the last half day or so. Pubescence, becoming a man, it wasn't an easy transition as much as he had already been prepared for responsibilities that come to his own survival. "You are so beautiful." he repeated in reassurance. Absolutely nothing had changed with the way he felt about her, just that hidden plague in the back of his mind. Allegro's voice the night he saw his ghost descend into the water. It was haunting to him.

Attempting yet again to brush his paw against her cheek softly, "Nothing can change the way I see you." He hadn't really cried up to this moment, but still those tears lingered at the bottom of his eyes. The amount of guilt he felt for treating her this way heavily before him. "But please just let me keep this to myself." He had always felt like kissing her and being with her was wrong, though it had never been so apparent to her until now, until this most important moment in their lives together. But he didn't want to plague her too, he just wanted her as happy as ever, not wondering if he was thinking of how wrong their incestual desires were.

"Balthier"

Balthier laid behind her, wrapping her in a tight hug as he told her how much he loved her, yet again avoiding her question. She turned her gaze back toward the wall in front of her as his face pressed into her scruff, her ears back as the bitter feeling of frustration and helplessness ate at her. At the end of the day, she couldn't even put distance between herself and him even if she wanted to. She was entirely dependent on him and while that hadn't felt like an issue before it suddenly did now. He was able to storm off and would be completely capable of taking care of himself without worry. She didn't have that luxury. Her frail body wouldn't allow her that kind of freedom. He insisted that she was beautiful and she frowned. Did he think that she thought he suddenly thought that she wasn't beautiful? Or that she was worried that he didn't love her? She already knew those things and was confident in those things. What she didn't understand was the conflict that had been etched in his features after he had something that he had been so sure that he wanted.

Her eyes closed as his paw brushed her cheek and her chest ached with lingering emotion. It wasn't that she didn't want things to be how they were, it wasn't that she didn't wish that she could just forget and pretend things were fine, but the fact that he was keeping things from her hurt. She told him everything—exposed all of her thoughts and feelings and fears. She had thought for the longest time that he had done the same, but was there more things that he just wasn't telling her? But even if he was, what was she going to do about it? If she kept pressing him would he get angry and fed up with her and leave again? What if he never came back? That fear had her pale front paws hanging on to his forelegs where they crossed over her torso, silently pleading for him not to let go. She was afraid of what the world might be without him, she was afraid of loosing him just like she had lost everything else. "Fine," she said reluctantly, opening her eyes again, but only looking down at where her paws were resting on his legs.

"Azzurra & Balthier"

He was much more naive than may have been expected of him. Her paws on his, he pulled her tighter just feeling a little better about himself. Like everything was fine, like they could just go back to the way everything was.

With her up against him again, he didn't proceed with anything further, not even a kiss. Just holding her close while he had felt the farthest away from her than he ever had before. He rose, nuzzling into her neck with a hum of almost satisfaction that they had made up, oblivious that maybe it wasn't that easy. "I can get breakfast ready for us." He suggested happily, the tears that were threatening him had dried out now. Azzurra was dwelling on what he had kept from her and what had happened. Balthier was at ease thinking she could so easily forgive him and forget. He was so far from the truth.

"Azzurra & Balthier"

Azzurra's ears flicked uncertainly as Balthier nuzzled her neck and got up, instantly brighter and seemingly fine. She shifted to face him as he moved toward the door, cheerfully telling her that he could get breakfast ready for them. Her stomach twisted as she watched him go, pulling a small smile onto her face as she silently wondered if she was somehow in the wrong here, wondering if all of the things she felt were wrong. If she was the only one that thought something was wrong here and he was able to move on so easily… Why couldn’t she? Why did she still feel so conflicted about this? “Okay. Sounds good,” she said softly in response, waiting until he was gone to let her smile fade. Maybe if she just pretended everything was okay then she could start to believe it was so. That was what she told herself while she rested her head on her paws to wait for Balthier to return with their breakfast. It wasn’t really until that moment that she was laying there with nothing but her racing thoughts that she realized he hadn’t really shown her the kind of affection that he really did—not even a kiss. She looked down at her paws, fidgeting with the fur she was laying on. Was any of it even real? Or was her understanding of their relationship and their feelings for each other not what she thought they were? She put another smile on her face when he returned, hiding her feelings away for the sake of normalcy, ignoring the sinking feeling in her gut.

"Azzurra & Balthier"