Heavy Lies the Crown
Resin
04-24-2022, 09:43 PM
Crickets chirped in the warm spring evening from outside the high glass windows of the Aegis' chambers. The room was entirely dark, save for the silvery light of the pale moon streaming in through tattered old curtains. There was no need to keep a fire burning in the bedroom when the days and evenings were getting so warm in the southern continent. In the comfort of the massive bed, Artorias laid awake, gazing at the long shadows stretching across the far wall in silence while he listened to the subtle sounds of Briar's slow, slumbering breaths. His fiancée was curled up against him, snuggled in his embrace and fast asleep, her troubles and worries miles away. Artorias, on the other hand, was mulling over many a vexing thought. He had much on his mind—as an alpha, as a brother, as a lover. It didn't always keep the young brute from sleep, but it had recently, especially after he'd witnessed Bowen's emotional breakdown when helping her move rooms. It was difficult for the Carpathian man to handle, knowing that he couldn't fix every problem he found.
"You can't save the world, Art."
The words that haunted his heart had never left him since the day he'd been told them. Black sides heaved with a deep sigh, his chest rising and falling with the heavy breath. Artorias hadn't even realized he'd begun to fall asleep amidst the stressed and concerned thoughts until he was suddenly asleep, amber eyes vanishing behind obsidian lids as consciousness gradually slipped away from him and he drifted off into a deep sleep.
When Artorias blinked again, he was not within his castle home. The room, the bed, Briar, it was all gone. He was... actually, where the hell was he? The world was blank and misty, with the filmy clouds obscuring most of his vision. It felt like he was standing on solid ground, but when he looked down, he saw nothing but emptiness. It was a peculiar sort of sensation, feeling like he was caught in stasis somewhere he wasn't supposed to be. Was this a dream? A nightmare? With nothing else to do, Artorias began to make his way through the fog, hoping that something would manifest or reveal itself to him in time.
04-24-2022, 10:30 PM
It was strange. One moment there was nothingness and the next there was... something. It was as though life had been breathed into the dead woman's soul and suddenly she lived once more. Ah, but she didn't live, did she? She felt nothing. Nothing aside from consciousness. There was no cold nor heat. There were no smells on the air. So then why was she here? The answer would soon push through the fog. Clear as day the strapping form of Artorias cut through the mist and just like that, the world seemed to solidify. It was as though her soul knew what the purpose of this wakefulness was. As the mist dissipated, a massive, craggy mountain formed behind the ash and onyx fae. Winter claimed this land but it was a winter that battled with autumn. The world looked frigid but there was actually very little snow on the ground. In place of snow were great dunes of rotting leaves that had fallen from the many trees scattered along the mountainside. At the base of the mountain was a lake, frozen over with a very thick layer of ice. That was where the woman stood. Golden eyes, or eye, fixed upon the tri-toned boy as he moved fully into view. It seemed that Resin's soul couldn't quite decide if it wanted to be whole or if it wanted to be true to who she had been when she died. Her face distorted several times as the eye and scars appeared and disappeared. In the end, she retained her singular sulfur orb. The scars remained. The brutish she-wolf was the hardened, scarred warrioress that she'd been in life. "Artorias," the fae's rasping tones spoke simply. Dark ears shifted forward and she waited for the boy to tell her why she was here for she wouldn't have been, had he not needed her. "Speech"
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04-24-2022, 11:10 PM
The fog was thick, and walking through it didn't feel normal. It felt like he was traversing through a miasma into another realm entirely. The deeper he pushed, the less he saw, until white mist had completely engulfed his vision. There was a sudden chill to the air, and then something crunched beneath his paw. Artorias glanced down to see a desiccated leaf shattered beneath his foot, like one would find at the end of autumn passing into the birth of winter. Confused, Artorias looked up again and saw the fog dissipating, melting away with each step he took. A few more and the young Carpathian man found himself standing in a mountainous terrain, surrounded by rising peaks of gray stone. The ground was dry and the grasses crisp and frosted over. What trees were in the area looked like they were caught in an eternal autumn, with browned leaves falling with every gust that rippled through the land. Yet around their bases, and across all the land for that matter, piles of dead leaves had gathered like sand dunes in a desert.
Artorias gazed around the unfamiliar land for a moment, amber eyes drinking in the hard and unforgiving territory he found himself in. There was no life anywhere as far as he could see—no birds in the trees or sky, no insects or prey animals of any kind. The only sign of life came before him, standing on top of a large frozen lake. He recognized the ash gray woman before he even began to approach, and the realization of who he was looking at made his heart wrench in his chest. Artorias took a step out onto the ice, ignoring the biting cold on his paw pads while he approached Resin, mouth hung slightly ajar in disbelief. When he got close enough to see her features, that was when Artorias knew things weren't as they seemed. His mother's face shifted and distorted, like a photograph attempting to be exposed, but not quite getting it right. Eventually her face did settle, and Artorias found himself staring back into the single golden eye of his scarred mother.
"Mom..." Artorias said between quiet breaths, still trying to grasp what he was experiencing. "Is this a dream? Where are we?" Artorias gazed around at the mountains surrounding them again, particularly the giant one behind her. Returning his gaze to his mother, whom he now stood just taller than, he furrowed his brows in confusion. This didn't feel like any sort of dream he'd had before. But that left only one other alternative... "Am I..." Artorias swallowed hard. "...Am I dead?" Artorias knew many wolves died peacefully in their sleep. He hadn't been expecting for his own end to come quite so soon though. But if he wasn't dead, then why was he here?
Artorias collected himself after a moment of bewilderment, forcing down his emotions to think clearly. "Mom, I... I miss you. And I love you. I guess I just want to say that first, in case I don't get the chance to again." Resin had returned to their family for a very brief period back during the Long Night, almost a year ago. When she had, he had been so fraught with trying to keep the Hallows safe that he hadn't gotten to say the things he'd wanted to say to her when he had the chance. The second time in his life when he'd missed the opportunity to speak his heart to his mother. "I want you to know that I'm doing the best I can as Aegis to keep your dream of the Hallows alive." Amber eyes darkened slightly, and Artorias shifted his gaze down away from Resin's to their paws on the ice. "I just... sometimes... How did you do it, Mom? How did you lead and keep all of your wolves happy and cared for? No matter what I try... it just doesn't seem enough to matter."
Artorias thought about Bowen, about her manic episodes and her crushing depression. He thought about all the pain and trauma he'd had to lead through. Resin had made it seem so seamless while he felt like he was only just managing. Was he just bad at being Aegis? He knew he couldn't save the world, but when he couldn't even save Bowen, what good was he? Even Ulric hadn't seemed to have as much trouble as he did. It was hard not to feel a little self-deprecation when he compared himself to his predecessors.
04-25-2022, 12:43 AM
There was a look of wonder on the face of Artorias that was almost comical. The boy, for he would always be a boy to her, approached and asked where they were. The muscular fae looked around with her golden eye. "This is where I was born," the woman informed him. She recognized the various landmarks, the dips and rises in the landscape, the dunes of leaves that created a natural labyrinth through the forest of birch trees. Artorias would recognize none of it. He'd never been to such a place, but ah... she had. There were few fond memories here. Most were dark and tainted. Memories that she didn't speak of to others. Memories that she'd taken to her grave. When Artorias asked if he was dead, Resin's singular gaze jerked back to him quickly, a scowl pulling at the scars on her eyeless side. "No," she said vehemently. "You have a long time before that happens." She didn't know for certain, but she felt it. Artorias would live a long life. She was sure of it. She looked the boy over. He had become a strong brute but he was still so young. There was an innocence about him still. Resin wondered when that would fade. It always did. Life wasn't easy and it wasn't fair. It took its toll and that toll tended to show in time. Words of love and affection met the woman's ears and it was surprisingly difficult to reciprocate. There was little emotion in this place, not that the Carpathian woman had had much emotion to begin with. She remembered enough of what was expected of her to nod, accepting the words silently. The red dawn gaze of Artorias darkened as he informed her that he was doing his best as Aegis of The Hallows. He said that he was doing his best, but both his expression and his tone spoke otherwise. Dark brows drew together and she waited for him to continue, which he did. It ended in a question and it was an easy one to answer. "Balance," she spoke clearly. "The balance between righteous protector and tyrant. I kept myself apart, never on the same level as my people. I knew that, whatever I did, it was the best course of action." She had been their leader, their protector, but she had never been one of them. "I even held your mother at arms length," she admitted, staring straight at the boy the entire time. Resin had been a good ruler, it was true. She laid down her life for her family and her people. Her rule was hard but just. That was it though. Her rule. "You are not me and so you must learn your own way of ruling. You'll develop your own set of skills, your own way of doing things. Always do what you believe is best for your wolves and maintain that course." One blue-padded paw rose, cupping her living child's cheek gently. "My existence was an unhappy one. Don't let yours be the same." "Speech"
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04-25-2022, 02:53 PM
This was where Resin had been born. His mother's words roused some semblance of understanding in young Artorias' mind, and his keen amber eyes reflected that realization. These were the Carpathian Mountains, the land which his family had been named after. Though he had never seen them before, he was now living their existence through the memory of Resin. It was captivating and unnerving at the same time. Artorias' eyes drank in their surroundings, trying to commit to memory as many details as he could. If this was to be a temporary moment, he wanted to remember it as vividly as he could. The harsh response his mother gave him in asking if he was dead startled him some, but her words brought him some comfort. He still had a long time to go before he had to worry about finding his way to the other side. Though he didn't know how Resin could know such things, he trusted her implicitly, just as he had since he'd been a pup.
Artorias watched as Resin remained stoic and impassive as he spoke words of love for her, giving only a short nod in response. He felt his heart sink a little; had she really become so emotionless in death that she could only seem to exist as a husk? Even when alive, he'd seen some shows of joy and love. Not often, but they had been there. Here, Resin seemed like a ghost of herself, as ironic as that phrase was applied here. Still, he sought her wisdom and counsel while he had the chance. She told him the key to her rule was balance. Finding an equilibrium between merciful and brutal, leader and tyrant. Artorias took her words to heart—at first. Then she began to shift her demeanor, explaining the negatives of her methods. She kept everyone at bay, including Tamsyn, and it had made her time on earth unhappy. She finished by telling him that he needed to find his own way of leading, developing his own skills and methods as he went, and to always do what he believed was right. It was a haunting echo of what Sirius had also told him when he'd gone to mentor with the Warlord. Balance and finding his own means of judging right from wrong. The more he heard it, the more he realized that no one person was going to have the answers for him. In this case, he'd need to seek them out on his own journey.
Resin lifted a paw and touched his cheeks with duty blue pads, and her touch felt so real that it made Artorias' heart lurch in his chest again. Here—wherever here was—it was as if she was back with him amongst the living. It hurt and felt so good simultaneously. Artorias closed his eyes and leaned into her touch for a brief moment, then opened his eyes to look back to his mother again. There was still two things he needed to talk to her about before their time was done. "I have a problem, Mom... Well, two, actually. It's Bowen. And it's Oxx." Artorias took a slow breath to steady himself while he let Resin process the topics he wished to discuss. He'd start with the more pleasant of the two. "Bowen came back home to us, Mom. I think you saw her when you came back during the Long Night. But... what you don't know is that we've fallen in love. I love her, and I think she loves me back. I'm... I'm sorry if this disappoints you in us, but I can't help it. She means so much to me. But lately... she's been so sad. She's in pain, Mom, and I know much of it comes from what happened to her. I try to help her, try to make things better, but I can't seem to do anything. I feel so useless... like I can't pick up the pieces no matter how hard I try. I don't know what to do to help her." He breathed another heavy sigh and shook his head slowly, trying to hold back the tears from forming in his eyes. "I love her, and I just want her to be happy. I just don't know if I can do that for her anymore... I don't know what to do at all." Artorias didn't expect Resin to have any answers for him when it came to relationships, but maybe she could think of something with a clear mind that he couldn't—assuming she wasn't disgusted with the incestuous relationship her own children had started.
04-25-2022, 03:49 PM
If Resin had been unfeeling before, being here.. wherever they were, had amplified that lack of emotion. She still retained the knowledge of how she should act and tried to do so to an extent. Despite the emotional emptiness, Resin was attentive as her son spoke. He had things that he wanted to discuss with her and she was willing to listen. Black ears perked once more as the boy began. Bowen and Oxx. She remembered their names and could see their faces in her minds eye. She was somewhat curious as to what Artorias would say about her children. Artorias began to speak and Resin listened. Bowen had returned and the ashen woman vaguely recalled this information. Her last months were shrouded in mist. Nothing was clear. The woman nodded. She hadn't expected The blue boy to tell her that he had fallen in love with his sister and the masked fae blinked a few times, though she maintained her silence until he was finished. He was worried about disappointing her and Resin shook her head at him. Though it wasn't common practice, it was something that the scarred woman was rather familiar with. He loved Bowen and he believed that she loved him. The girl was sad, however. So sad that Artorias was doubting that he could do it anymore. Seeing the pain on her son's features... it roused something within the lifeless fae. A spark of something long lost. She was asked what he should do and there was one answer. "Let her fall." It was most likely an answer that he wouldn't like, but it was the quickest way to force Bowen to process her position in life and either give up or power through. "You can't save the world, Artorias." She'd said something similar to him before. "She is your sister and I can see that you love her, but she has to fall in order to come back stronger. You aren't her keeper. You can only support her so much, but at some point she has to fly alone." Unexpectedly, Resin reached out with one foreleg and drew the boy into her embrace. She could feel little more than solid pressure as she held him. There was no warmth emanating from him. Or, if there was, she simply couldn't feel it. "Follow the course that you believe is best for you and the wolves that you've sworn to protect." The good of the many outweighed the good of one. If Bowen was distracting him from his duties, then he needed to distance himself. "You could send her away. Without you, her crutch, perhaps she might heal." It's what she would do. Perhaps it would be seen as throwing Bowen to the wolves, but sometimes that was what a mind needed. Hardship that forced one to rebuild themselves from the ground up. "Speech"
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04-25-2022, 07:34 PM
While he spoke his troubles to her, Resin was silent and attentive. That all abruptly changed when Artorias asked for her opinion on what he should do, and the answer he received from his spectral mother was not what he had been expecting. Let her fall. The shock on Artorias' face looked like he'd been slapped by her words. He gazed in stunned silence at the ashen fae, her hardened expression betraying no emotions—or perhaps revealing an entire lack of them—and giving away nothing. She repeated those words that Bowen had said to him before, words that she had said as well when he had been an adolescent. He hated those words with an intensity. Resin explained her stance and perspective, and while she held some kernels of wisdom, he didn't know if he could fundamentally agree with everything she said. Resin was a much harder character than he was. Perhaps his love for Bowen had softened him some, but he couldn't just throw up his walls and keep her at bay while he watched her struggle and suffer. It didn't sit right with him... but then what else could he do? He'd tried comforting her, tried reassuring her, tried to help guide her to a solution. None of it had been of any help and he was starting to get to the end of his rope. Constant failure frustrated him. Maybe Bowen really was beyond saving...
Amidst his depressing thoughts, Artorias felt his mother's strong foreleg catch him around the back and pull him into an embrace. The sullen scowl slipped from his face and he gasped in surprise, feeling no warmth coming from her, yet feeling the texture of her gray coat as if she had never left him. Artorias' heart ached, and he reached a large azure paw up to wrap around Resin's shoulders to embrace her back. Even in death, a mother's love held a special sort of magic to it. Resin imparted one last bit of advice to him: follow his heart when deciding the best course of action. Right now, Art didn't trust his heart very much to make sound decisions. "I might have to do that," he muttered to himself, dejected eyes turning downward. "I don't know what else to do..." The Carpathian brute could think of one wolf he could turn to for help rehabilitating a broken soul and start building Bowen's self-esteem back up, but it would mean doing the one thing he swore he wouldn't do: let her go.
There was only one more thing weighing on his mind, but it was also the most important one of all. Oxx Carpathius. Amber eyes narrowed into deadly, furious points. "I met Oxx," he said, deep voice hard and edged with venom. His gaze turned back up to Resin, not glaring at his mother per se, but far more aggressive and resolved. "He's attacked our family numerous times now, Mom. He assaulted Gwyn, he maimed Rudy, he tried to kill Bowen, he desecrated your grave, and he..." The words caught in Artorias' throat. He couldn't say what Oxx had done to him, how he had been violated by his own adoptive brother. It still made him feel like less of a man because of it. "...He brutalized me and almost drowned me." There was a hard conviction in the young alpha's voice as he relayed all the atrocities and crimes her son, his brother had levied against the Hallows and their family. It was all a set up for the next thing he said. "I'm going to kill him for what he's done, Mom. I don't know how yet, but I will. But I need to know about him. Anything you can tell me that might help me or give me an edge when I face him again. Because next time... one of us isn't going to be walking away."
05-21-2022, 11:34 AM
Though she was holding her son in her arms, it was difficult. She tried not to be cold, knowing that, were she alive, the embrace would have felt a lot different. In case it did, she felt that she had to explain. "Emotions are faint and watered down here," she spoke, lest he believe that she didn't care for him. She knew that she did. She knew that she had, at least. Above the rest, stood Artorias. Above her own blood children, even. He had come to closest to being what she expected and desired in a child. Had he been of her own bloodline, he would have been perfect. "She will rise from the ashes or she won't." It was as simple as that. Resin had never held a connection with Bowen like she had with Artorias or even Gwyn. That didn't mean that she hadn't cared for the girl. They were grown now. Adults. Artorias was Aegis of an entire pack. Bowen couldn't continue to bring him down and be a burden, no matter how much he loved her. Sending her away would be good for both of them. She would learn and be able to breathe and focus on important things. The conversation shifted to a topic even worse. Artorias had met Oxx. The woman's sulfuric eye narrowed and she nodded, waiting for the boy to continue. He relayed the nefarious deeds that her blood child had divvied out to the members of his adopted family. Resin tried to feel sorrow or guilt or remorse, but she simply couldn't. She had lacked the capacity for strong emotion in life and it had increased exponentially in death. "My grave means nothing," she assured him. Just empty bones. There was solid conviction in her son's voice as he told her that he intended to kill Oxx for his transgressions. The ash and onyx woman merely nodded. It was acceptable and justified, so why would she say anything against it? The scarred woman sighed. What could she tell him? "He's vicious and cruel. He was trained to be so from an early age and has made a profession out of it. He rarely slips up. He's always out of reach." These were all things that Artorias already knew. "Don't underestimate him. He's clever, crafty and usually two steps ahead." The fae gave a light shake of her head. "He has no obvious weakness to exploit, but no matter how much of a monster he is, Oxx is just a wolf." What would she do in such a situation? She would go head on against him with no regard to her own well being, but she couldn't expect that of Artorias, nor would she tell him that this would be her choice. "You know he's dangerous. To ensure your own safety, take a team. Run him down. Show no mercy. He won't show you any." That was the best that she could do for the boy. "Speech"
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06-26-2022, 09:10 AM
As the two wolves, living and dead, embraced, Resin did her best to explain the shift in her demeanor. Emotions were diluted in this realm. He simply nuzzled into the side of her neck. "You don't need to explain anything," he reassured his mother. Artorias knew she had loved him in life, had memories of her smiling as she trained him and the pride she'd shown him when they fought together. Whatever death had done to Resin, he knew the truth of the matter. She was his mother—perhaps not in blood, but in every other sense of the word that leant it meaning. Again Resin reassured him that the right thing to do for Bowen was to let her go and to either thrive or perish. As much as Artorias wanted to resist or rebel against that perspective, he couldn't. What other alternative did he have? Protecting her and sheltering her had only seemed to exacerbate her struggles. It was difficult for him to be so detached and analytical like Resin was, but was that not why he had sought her wisdom? What else had he expected her to tell him?
On the topic of her blood son, Resin's gaze narrowed and her expression hardened. Artorias had expected some sort of emotional reaction from his mother's spirit, but it hadn't been this. Oxx had apparently been such a blight on the world that even his own mother saw value in his demise. It made the Aegis wonder what had happened in his adoptive brother's life to make him such a violent and malevolent being. Resin stated that her grave meant nothing, but that hadn't been the point. Artorias' eyes steeled, the righteous fire smoldering in those blazoned jewels. "It does to me." Perhaps a spirit had no concern for an earthly grave, but for the living, it was all that remained of their deceased loved one. It was a sacred place built on hallowed ground. Oxx had defiled it and shown wicked disregard for that sanctity, and for that, he would suffer the consequences. Resin explained what he already knew of Oxx, of the sociopath's violent and deranged behavior, and of his deadly prowess. She cautioned Artorias not to underestimate him and to be as crafty as he was. Then she advised him to bring a team and run the fucker down. Show him no quarter, give him no mercy. While that was not the ideal that Artorias would normally hold to, his prior run-in with the maniac had proven just how right Resin was. Oxx was a rabid dog who needed to be put down swiftly and without remorse. Any hesitation or mercy would only lead to more death, and honor meant nothing when war was unfair.
"I'll do my best, Mom," Artorias assured her with a resolute nod. He would not fail; he could not fail in this endeavor. He remembered what Resin and Ulric had told him about what being the Aegis meant. He was responsible for safeguarding his wolves and defending the pack from dangers and threats. Right now, there was no greater threat to his family's existence than Oxx. Artorias didn't know how much time he and Resin would have left before he would be pulled back from the spirit world and into the realm of the living. Every second counted. Before their time ran out, he needed to say one final thing. "I hope I've made you proud, Mom. I hope the Hallows became all that you dreamed it would be." Whether Resin could feel the emotions the same as the living or not, he just hoped she was proud of what her dream had become. All Artorias had done in life, he'd done to uphold those ideals set forth by his mother.