Things were seemingly never getting better. Maybe he was just drowning out the good stuff. It was easy to do. There was this huge part of his life that he did just love and cherish and ended up completely shattering and fragmenting it into only memory. He may have never saw the wrong he had done for himself and his sister, or maybe he just wanted to stay blind to it. It would have been easy to say just to end things way before they got so deep and involved, put a wall there not knowing but feeling like what he and Azzurra did was wrong then it wouldn't have come to this. Maybe she would have been more understanding. But being with her that way was definitely more physically satisfying but also emotionally. He did really care for her in all the time that they spent traveling together and since Allegro left. He felt that need to protect her, provide for her, more than he had for his other siblings. It was what their father had done and he had those shoes to fill. Allegro had been his idol in youth, and he would have never expected things to turn the way they did. He didn't want what felt like this responsibility on himself. Maybe he didn't really need to take this charge but he just felt like he had to for his family. It's what led to him leaving with her. It wasn't easy leaving Psalm and Solo behind, but he couldn't leave Azzurra. Funny to say that's what happened at the end.

With Fenmyre gone it just made things plummet inside his head more. He never showed anyone this side of him, the side that missed and yearned for Azzurra. Maybe filled with a lot of regret. It was hard to confess. But now not knowing where she was, with Chimera or traveling somewhere on her own... it hurt him. More than he could describe or show. He found solace in the drinking shortly before he left Fenmyre, and it just became worse as the weeks went on. There was a part of him that didn't care, but also a part of himself that felt ashamed. He had to keep it behind closed doors. He wasn't going to stumble around freely among the wolves of The Hallows. It was like he knew what he was doing to himself was so wrong. And that maybe he was a little scared of how he might react to those around him. He wasn't necessarily violent or to those he didn't know. But inside he was burning for darker relief, or honestly just to have someone to hold at night. The pack around him was friendly and bustling with happy, tiny paws, but he felt so alone here. He wasn't sure if he would have felt at home anywhere else either. Abaven was gone too which was just another nail in the coffin but he wouldn't have felt any different in his everyday life had Abaven still been around and he went home.

He was relatively quiet and reserved in nature, but among the other pack members and loners he seemed happy. Content. Maybe nothing amiss. It might have been easy for anyone that may have frequented his schedule, maybe to Artorias who had more regard for the members of his pack. But he hid himself well. He wanted it that way.

Being here in The Hallows was harder than he would have spoken. He had told Artorias when he showed up on the shore that his mother was buried here. And that was it. There was a lot of baggage underneath than what he spoke of. He knew having a mother like his wasn't the average. Poem was a good mother. Chimera's queens were good mothers. And then there was Aranea. Tonight was one of those nights he spent out on the beach with the raft, but for whatever reason he was driven to make his way back towards the castle and inevitably over his mother's grave. He hadn't been here since becoming a member of The Hallows. He hadn't been here since Ulric told them she was dead. And now standing over where she was buried deep underground, it didn't make him feel any better. His eyes closed as he just stood there in the tree lines outside of the castle. Maybe trying to navigate his emotions. Was that some sort of healing? No. Nothing helped the way he was feeling, finding the drink and relief any time he could. He grit his teeth still with closed eyes at the thought of his life, of his mother, of his father. Everything he put Azzurra through. Everything that led him right here standing over a dead woman's grave. He was completely calm on the outside, but inside he was trembling. Fizzing. Everything was broken in him. The amount of energy he felt in his body almost made him feel like he wanted her standing in front of him right now so he could yell at her. She was the driven source of everything that went wrong. If only they could have just been a normal, happy family. Eventually he threw his nearly empty wine bottle to shatter on the trees nearby, but that didn't stop this surging emotion in him. He wouldn't even notice the tears that were steadily falling down his cheeks, an emotion he couldn't remember showing once in his life.

"Balthier"

Ever since the night that he had found himself in Boreas and Auster he hadn't stopped thinking about his son and the state he had seen him in. His pitiful attempt at an intervention hadn't even phased his son and he worried that Balthier was simply too far gone to help. Still, when Allegro had been killed he had felt a peace knowing that they were safely in Abaven together and that Balthier would undoubtedly take his place in at least caring for Azzurra. His sickly daughter was the one he had worried about the most, but he had rested peacefully knowing her siblings would look after her. Now that peace was broken, knowing that how he expected them to stay was no longer the case. He had no idea where Psalm, Solo, or Azzurra were and with how he had found Balthier he assumed the worst. Regardless, he wasn't there and he couldn't help. After that night he had been pulled back to the realm of the dead and he was left to worry and wonder as he wished for some way to go back and actually speak with his son.

There was some kind of pull and tug as the wish went through his mind again and with nothing to loose Allegro followed it, walking at first and then slowly building up into a run across the misty, foggy land that had become his timeless home after he passed. Slowly the empty, foggy landscape gave way to sparse trees that were slowly more and more dense, the fog falling away, and the trees beginning to thin once more. All at once the air felt different, the light changing to a cool moonlight, and as he slowed to a stop he glanced up and saw the castle up ahead. He was back. He didn't know what was happening or what kept pulling him back to the world of the living, but he was grateful for the chance. The shattering of a bottle only a dozen or so feet ahead of him made his eyes snap toward the sound and through the trees he spotted the familiar black and gold swirled form of his son. Mismatched ears flicking back against his head, Allegro stepped forward, finding Balthier crying over a simply marked grave at the base of a tree. He looked over the broken pieces of yet another wine bottle and he sighed, his heart wrenching in his chest. "Balthier..." he said softly, half expecting his son to not be able to hear him again.

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He was fully broken, left with nothing to feel at all and yet somehow this wavering emotion that plagued him in the moment. He was angry and upset about how he grew up, about what happened between Abaven and now, everything he could experience with himself now would probably be lost in his mind of the drink come morning. Just that day set on repeat from the day before, he wondered how he was still alive himself these days.

When the quiet sound of his father drifted on his ears, he didn't know how to react, thinking he was just so lost inside his head that it was just in those memories he pushed into the back. It was only a moment before his eyes rose from the grave that he saw his ghostly father standing there. He was in awe for just a few seconds, because this wasn't normal even in the state he was in. But he believed it was just the trick of his eyes, the drink that had taken him over. A daydream. Or a nightmare. He wasn't here, or so he thought.

"You're dead. You shouldn't be here." A husky, threatening tone in his voice. He couldn't say he grew to hate his father, but he felt like he did. It may not have been true, maybe just masked by everything else that had been a part of he and his sibling's lives, but it hurt to think of his father here standing in front of him. Still not aware that this was the real world, he pointed down at the grave that was Aranea, "Where is she?" The emotions he felt in this not so dream were meant to bring her here, not his father. Not that either of them had any control over that.

"Balthier"

Allegro almost looked behind him to see what Balthier was looking at as his soon looked up, his gaze focusing on him. It felt so improbable that he could actually be seen and heard that he couldn't really believe that it was true, at least not until Balthier hold him that he was dead and shouldn't be here. He didn't like the hard edge to his son's voice, but he couldn't really hold it against him either. He had never felt good about what he had done, even when it was happening, but he had felt like there was no other option for himself and had only ended up meeting his own doom in the process. If that wasn't karma he wasn't sure what was. "You're right. I shouldn't be," he agreed. He shouldn't be here, he shouldn't be able to walk here in Auster with him, and yet here he was—at least for now. He had no idea how much time he had here or what he could even do beyond talk to him, but for now he was here.

When Balthier pointed to the grave he was standing over and asked where 'she' was, Allegro raised a confused brow, glancing down at the grave as well. "She?" he asked softly, not fully connecting what or who he was asking for. He racked his brain for a moment, glancing back up at Balthier again as he did, until a grim thought and dread settled over him, making him feel like there was a pit in his stomach. "That's... That's not Azzurra's grave, is it?" he asked quietly, sorrow already beginning to cross his features and guilt weighing heavily on his shoulders. He already regretted how everything turned out, but if this was the grave of his daughter... Perhaps finding a way to come here was more of a curse than a blessing after all.

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He was dazed, a bit of unknown swaying in his vision from the drink. He still wasn't aware that this was real life and not a dream even as his father responded to him. Even in this very real life space of a grave. It wouldn't really matter if he knew it was real though because it wouldn't have made any other impact on him in the state he was in. It might not have even if he was sober.

He took a hard breath as his father asked, hesitant, almost considering telling him that this was Azzurra's grave. Giving him that harsh sense of guilt because he didn't think his father felt bad about leaving them. He wouldn't have left if he didn't want to. And while overall Balthier blamed Aranea down to the core of all their family's problems, Allegro didn't help with leaving. It was a long, draining moment before he responded, "No, that fucking bitch that could have been a mother." His eyes diverted from the ghost of his father back down the grave shattered over with glass from his thrown wine bottle. He grit his teeth again, closing his eyes tight from that raw emotion that he showed just moments before and still lingered and threatened him now. "I had some things I was going to say to her." But did he really? It was more just this show of hurt and hate. Honestly he wasn't sure if he actually had any words to give her. But it seemed like Allegro couldn't relay the message either.

"Balthier"

There was a long pause, the certainty that it really was Azzurra buried here becoming more and more real the longer that he waited for Balthier to answer, until finally he heard the truth of it and a shaky sigh escaped him at the wash of relief he felt. It still didn't answer the lingering question from the first time he found himself in this realm of where exactly the rest of his children were, but at the very least he knew this wasn't Azzurra's grave and that eased his fears for a bit longer. Instead, this turned out to be the 'bitch that could have been a mother', as Balthier so eloquently put it. Aranea.

Allegro blinked with surprise and looked back to the gave, slowly starting to put more pieces together for himself as more information was slowly revealed. He had left and soon after was murdered. For whatever reason Balthier and perhaps some of his other children had left Abaven since it seemed that his son was living in The Hallows—which was where Allegro had last known Aranea to be. Now Aranea was also dead, leaving their pups entirely without a parent—though it was hard for Allegro to think of Aranea as their parent any more. When he turned his gaze back to Balthier it was with a familiar understanding. He had lived through the same frustration and anger toward his mother and had gotten at least one chance to have his own words with the woman before the last of his hope and will had fallen apart. "I'm sorry that I can't give you that satisfaction," he told him with a sigh. "Though as someone that had it out with her and got a chance to speak my mind once... It's not as satisfying as you might hope it to be."

Allegro gave a small shake of his head as he stood there for another moment, wondering why he had wanted to come back one more time so badly. Maybe if he had managed to find his son when he was in a less inebriated state then his visit would have been more fruitful or helpful, but he'd never know. Both times he had made contact with the living world it had only brought him face to face with the hurt state that Balthier was now living in. Maybe he had done enough damage and he needed to accept that there was nothing he could really do to effect what was left behind now. "I'm sorry," he finally said after another long pause, his tone genuine even if Balthier didn't want to hear it. "Please take care of yourself Balthier... None of it is worth doing this to yourself." And that was all he managed before he began to fade, drifting back as quickly as he appeared.

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