Loss Never Gets Easier
Ikigai
02-26-2023, 10:15 PM
Truly it always seemed like there was never a moment of joy that wasn't followed with some sort of devastation. Perhaps it was just the curse of their family to be so gifted and blessed that misfortune always found a way to rear its ugly head in response. She had been so thrilled and proud of her brother for finally finding his own way, for seeing what he wanted in Ikigai and making her his priority. She knew he wasn't an easy one to tie down and had honestly feared the worst for the fledgling relationship, especially after how he had treated her so early on in their time together, but Deimos had surprised her and turned things around. This litter that they had been so proud to tell her about had felt like the perfect conclusion, something that both of their families could be excited for and something to bring them even closer together. Every litter was an exciting occasion for the Mendaciums–which meant that the loss of one was even more devastating.
She had noticed how quickly the pair had returned from what was supposed to be a trip to visit Ikigai's family, but their absence around the island and the way that they kept to their den spoke to the fact that something had gone awry. She decided not to press her brother for information, leaving the pair be until Deimos finally approached her almost a week later. The news had knocked the air out of her and she deeply mourned with her brother the same way she would have mourned the loss of one of her own children. Yes, the news that Deimos had asked Ikigai to take their name was a wonderful thing and she was even more proud of him for not running from this pain and instead dedicating himself even more to his mate, but she still knew that she had to go see Ikigai for herself. She had made a promise to take care of Ikigai like she was one of her own and so far she didn't feel as if she was truly living up to that promise.
Manea approached the den that Ikigai shared with Deimos, crossing paths with her brother as he was just leaving to go hunt. She shared a nod with him, asking him quietly for some time alone with Ikigai, and then watched him go before she stepped into the den herself. She gave Ikigai a gentle smile as she came to join the other woman where she was. "I'm so sorry for what's happened," she told her quietly as she settled beside her sister-in-law. "I would have come to see you sooner, but Deimos only just told me. How are you feeling?"
03-10-2023, 09:49 AM
Days had passed but it still felt like the very same day to Ikigai. She'd just lost her children. Bedridden due to sorrow and broken ribs, the Ashen princess saw no one. She spoke to no one. Iki wasn't sure if anyone even knew, not that it mattered. She and Deimos were in mourning for what could have been. The pale woman hadn't even told her mother about the pregnancy or the loss. She suffered quietly alone or beside her mate. That was until Manea came.
Gentle midday light illuminated the purple woman as she entered the cave. Ikigai lifted her head from where it had rested in the nest of furs and watched as Manea drew in close. The large fae lay down beside her, offering her condolences. At first, Iki couldn't answer. Marbled eyes widened and her lips pursed in a hard line as she tried not to cry. In the end, she failed.
Manea had always been a wolf that Ikigai trusted from the very moment they met. Now, with time together, she was a wolf that the pale woman very much loved. Not having her own mother here, the purple woman had unofficially taken that role. So, as the amaranthine fae showed sympathy, Iki could do nothing but accept it and give in. Her lower lip quivered for a moment and a sob pulled from a pinched throat. Iki leaned into the big woman as though she was still a pup. With her forehead against Manea's shoulder, she cried, letting out the grief that was stored up inside of her.
03-12-2023, 11:43 AM
She knew that Ikigai and her brother would still be in mourning and she knew that this was a terrible loss for not only them but their families, but she somehow still underestimated just how much it would rock the young woman. She had only ever seen Ikigai be poised and lady like–even during their unexpected meeting when Ikigai was still a pup. Right now though, she saw the cracks in Ikigai's expression as she settled in beside her and all at once Ikigai shifted from a woman far more mature than her years to a heartbroken girl that was crumbling under the weight of her own grief.
Tears welled up in Manea's own eyes as Ikigai sobbed and leaned her head into her to cry, her ears folding back against her head as she shifted to slip a foreleg around Ikigai's shoulders, pulling the younger woman into her chest as she nuzzled the top of her head. She may not have been Ikigai's mother, but she had been fond of her since the day they met and had easily come to love her as one of her own in the time that she had spent among their family. She held her for as long as she needed, letting her cry out this unimaginable pain. While it did truly seem like Deimos had turned over a new leaf with his mate and was surely doing what he could to comfort her, Manea also knew that there was no real replacement for a mother's comfort. She knew she wasn't going to really fill that role for Ikigai, but perhaps she could be a decent substitute for the time being.
Only when she felt Ikigai's sobs begin to settle did she lift her cheek from the top of the younger woman's head, pulling her foreleg from around her shoulders just so that she could gently wipe the tears from Ikigai's cheeks. "I wish I could tell you that loss gets easier," she told her quietly with a small, sad smile. "I know it hurts and I have no doubt that it will hurt for a very long time." Her paw cupped Ikigai's cheek gently as she looked at her with the same sort of love that she had often looked to her own children with. "No matter how much we were all looking forward to your pups, what's really important is that you're okay. I would much rather mourn your children that could have been than mourn losing you and I'm sure Deimos feels the same way. All of this will pass with time and someday soon we'll have another litter to look forward to. I'm sure of it."
03-25-2023, 06:52 PM
The sympathy offered to her felt so very genuine that it brought more tears from the heartbroken fae. As Manea pulled her in closer, Ikigai buried her face in the purple fae's coat and cried her heart out. She knew that Manea wouldn't mind her fur getting a little wet. She was a mother after all and had surely been cried on more than once in her day. Deimos had been loving and supportive, but it wasn't the same as having her sorrow understood by another woman.
After crying herself out, Ikigai pulled back, her marbled eyes bloodshot and swollen. Dark ears shifted as Manea began to speak. She knew that there would be other children, but she had been so hopeful. Deimos had been so happy. So proud. Still, the words that the larger woman shared with her were soothing. Comforting. "Thank you," the black and white fae spoke softly. "Not just for today, but for always." Ikigai gave a little sniffle and raised a paw to wipe another tear from her eye. "You and Alastor have both been like parents to me since I've become part of Elysium. I don't know what I'd do without you." Iki loved Manea and she loved Alastor. Loved him more than her own father. "I'll be okay," she reassured the plum colored fae, a small smile on her lips. "I just need to heal up a bit and I'll be back to normal."